Temptation
by xoLiannexo
Summary: Ana and Elliot are together and in love but when he takes her home for Christmas, temptation is put in her path. Will she be able to resist? or will she give into those grey eyes.
1. Chapter 1

I am nervous

Scratch that i am terrified

I am standing in front of my less than attractive wardrobe struggling to find something to wear. Today is the day that i am being introduced to the Grey family. My boyfriend Elliot thinks it is the right time as we have been dating for 7 months. So after weeks of begging from Elliot and running out excuses i finally relented and said yes. This year i am spending my Christmas, meeting one of the wealthiest families in the United States which happens to also include one of the richest and most powerful men in the world, Christian Grey, his brother.

It still puzzles me as to why Elliot is with me. He is the epitome of the classic all American boy; sandy blond styled hair, a body most girls drool over ( trust me i was one of those and honestly i still catch myself doing it, plus i have to put up with these girls eyefucking my man every day) and not to mention he is rich as fuck. I, Ana Steele posses none of the traits you expect a girlfriend of a Grey to have; i am mousey, clumsy, poor, a bookworm and shy but boy do i love that man.

I am pulled from my thoughts by strong arms wrapped around my waist

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" Elliot asked whilst nuzzling into my neck

"Mmmm... i'm nervous about today. What do i wear?, how do i act?, what do i say?."

He chuckles and grips me tighter "Just be yourself and they will love you as much as i do" I turn in his hold and slide my hands up his chiseled chest

"Just how much do you love me?" I ask in my best husky voice and push my breasts into him. I can't contain my moan when he moves his hands down my back to cup my ass pushing me into his growning erection.

"Almost enough to call my parents and tell them we won't be coming and then locking you in this bedroom to spend the whole day fucking you...hard" he whispers into my ear. He gently places feather light kisses down my neck and i move my hands to his hair tugging and grinding my hips. I am about to surrender and get lost in him, maybe even beg him to fuck me anyway possible when he pulls away. He turns me around and gives me a little push into my clothes.

" But it's a family tradition to get together at Christmas, even my brother makes an effort to show up" He then heads towards the bedroom door but stops halfway and turns

" And besides i can't wait to show off my sexy ass girlfriend" he smirks

I'm left standing in front of the wardrobe alone and extremely turned on. Finally i decide on a figure-hugging red dress, sexy and festive but still appropriate for a first meeting with potential in- laws. As i slip on my dress it suddenly occurs to me that this weekend holds more importance than i first realised, i know it will either make or break my relationship.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ana, will you hurry up and stop stalling"

He was right but I'd be damned if I was going to let him know that.

"Elliot I'm coming, give me a second!"

Five minutes later I had managed to calm myself down and we were out the door and heading for Elliot's parents in Bellevue.  
"So, what do you Grey's do on Christmas Day? Eat swan and gift each other diamonds and Ferrari's" I teased. I usually spent Christmas day in my pj's with my stepfather Ray, the man i knew as my father and whom i treasured; Christmas is simple, quiet and perfect. This year Ray and a bunch of his buddies have gone away on a fishing expedition after I told him I was spending the day with Elliot, I think he was secretly thrilled with the changes.

" You really have to stop with the assumptions babe" he chuckled " we really are just a normal family, my mom especially likes this time of year because she gets to spend some proper time with Christian without him distracted by work"

Ahh Christian. The cold, powerful, rich control freak. This man is 27 years old and is incredibly successful. Granted I had never heard of him before I met Elliot but once I mentioned to my roommate Kate who I was dating, I was soon filled in on everything Christian Grey. I've seen pictures of him on the Internet and the gossip mags and yes he is attractive. Very attractive. But I know I have the best brother, Elliot is fun, loving and warm. I get the feeling Christian is none of these things.

We drive through the giant black gates and head up the long dust drive to his parents Bellevue house. This place screams money. The house itself is huge and decorated in beautiful Christmas lights, the gardens surrounding the property are perfection and the driveway is full of expensive cars, but a gorgeous Audi R8 stands out to me the most. I would kill for a car like that and I'm immediately glad we took Elliot's Mercedes and not my old Beetle Wanda.

Elliot turns off the car, takes his seat belt off and swivels in his seat to face me

"You ready for this baby?"

" I think so, I really do want to meet your family, it's good to be a little nervous right?"

Elliot leans to towards me and brushes his lips across mine  
" Your gonna do great baby" he murmurs and pushes onto my waiting lips. I cup the back of his neck to forced him against me, his tongue runs along my bottom lip begging for entrance. As soon as our tongues meet they are battling for dominance. I then remember where we are and pull away

" C'mon lets do this!" I say jumping out the car before I am pulled back into his spell.

We walk through the door and into one of the most spectacular rooms I have ever seen. A long sweeping stairway, warm glowing lights, a gorgeous mosaic pattern of the floor and beautiful white and red roses in a vase on the table in the middle of the room.

"Mom. Dad. We're here!" I hear Elliot bellow but I am still amazed by this house. Then from the archway in-between the staircases, a beautiful older woman appears closely followed by a tall, handsome man

"Elliot, darling is so good to see you. Merry Christmas son" she smiles warmly at her son

"Merry Christmas Mom. I liked to introduce you to my girlfriend, Ana" The woman turns to me and gives me a motherly hug  
" Ana, it's so nice to finally meet you. My boy here doesn't stop talking about you" I turn to smirk at Elliot who is greeting his father  
" Its a pleasure to meet you too Mrs Grey"  
" Oh darling call me Grace, the rest of the family are eager to meet you"  
I am about to respond when I spot him. He is pacing in the small hallway with his back to us, clearly annoyed with whoever he is talking to on the phone. He stops, turns and our eyes meet.

Wow. He is beautiful


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I wanna say a huge thank you for all the follows, reviews and favs. This is my first story so it means a lot. I am not a writer but I have read excessive amounts of fanfic, mainly Fifty Shades and CSI New York (seriously if you haven't watch that show give it a try. Danny and Lindsay, just perfection), so I thought I'd give writing a fic myself a go. **

**I know I have chosen a tricky subject for my first story a love triangle between Ana, Christian and Elliot and even though there will be inevitable angst I'm hoping that I can still keep the themes of love and family that we saw in the trilogy.**

**Again thanks for the reviews and if there are any suggestion please feel free to let me know. I have a rough guide for this story so it's adaptable. Enough of my rambling and on with the story, Ana and Christian's first interaction.**

I could feel my knees trembling. He continued to stare right at me, only breaking the contact to roam his eyes down my body which instantly made me flush but also it turned me on. Elliot was still talking to his parents but I was paying no attention. Something about Christian made me uneasy, like he could possess me at the drop of a hat.

I tore my gaze away from him when Grace ushered us into the main living area. I reached for Elliot's hand, needing that comfort and the reassurance that I loved him and I was his. Once we reached the room I was introduced to Mia; his bubbly, loud, pretty sister.

" I am so glad we have another girl around, these boys are no fun" Mia complained whilst glaring at Elliot. As Carrick, Elliot's father began to pour everyone a drink, in walked Christian.

" Ah there's the Grinch!" Elliot teased " Christian this is my girlfriend Ana, Ana this is my moody, illusive brother Christian" Our eyes met again and that pull was still there. I stuck my hand out unsure of what to do, as soon as he touch my skin, shivers were sent down my spine. His long, manly, manicured fingers curled round my petite hand and gently squeeze, I couldn't help but let out a small gasp

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Steele" he purred. _Wait how does he know my last name?._

"Likewise Mr Grey, and please call me Ana" I murmured quietly. He still had hold of my hand reluctant to let it go.

"Oh c'mon bro enough with the formalities, call him Christian babe or even better call him Christy he loves that" Elliot grinned at his brother

"Fuck off Lelliot!" Christian returned smiling. After finally releasing me i quickly sat next to Elliot on the couch.

"Are you boys going to stay here tonight, I mean Christian you have given Taylor the weekend off so you might as well stay and have a drink" Carrick inquired. _Who's Taylor?_

" What do you say babe, you mind staying here tonight?" Elliot asked and I nodded, _who wouldnt want to spend the night in palace_. He then whispered in my ear " I still have to give you the other half of my Christmas present but if your a good girl and stay nice and quiet I'm sure you won't wake my parents" I blushed and glanced up to find Christian staring right at us, i'm sure i noticed him scowling at Elliot. I quickly looked away and gave my man a kiss to distract myself

" Aww aren't you two the cutest!" Mia gushed

The rest of the morning was spent opening present and the group catching up on each others seemingly busy lives. I was curled into Elliot the whole time and I don't think I've ever felt so content. Even the weirdness between Christian and myself seemed to disapear. It really was nice to see him interact with his family, surprisingly the Grey's really are just a normal bunch of people. The banter between the siblings was hilarious and the love Grace and Carrick had for each other and their children shone through.

After the presents were all opened, Grace and Christian went through to the large kitchen area and Carrick disappeared into his office to makes some calls. I snuggled further into Elliot, enjoying his new aftershave I bought him

" Elliot, do you mind coming up to my room so I can show you the plans for my new house. I think the contractor is trying to rip me off" Mia asked.

" Sure Mia, babe I'll just be a minute Make yourself at home" Elliot gives me a chaste kiss and follows Mia out the room. Feeling a bit like a spare part I get up to find Grace and see if I could help with anything. I wandered through the house trying to find her when i stumbled across Christian setting the table. This was no ordinary table it should be for dignitaries, it was a dark oak colour and was being covered in the most gorgeous table settings all situated under the most stunning chandelier

"Wow" I gasped whilst standing the doorway

Christian chuckled " Oh yes my mother does have brilliant taste"

"So your house doesn't look like this?, I find that hard to believe"

" You would be surprised, my apartment is in the city and I don't entertain much so there is no need for all this splendor. It's just me and the simplistic decor is perfect"

My heart breaks a little for him, with all his money and success he should have someone. What use is it all if you can't share it

" Do you want some help?" I ask, strangely I just want to spend time with him

" Sure, those napkins need folding" he smiles at me and I can't help but return it

" Who would have thought Christian Grey, CEO and billionaire still has to set the table when he is at home" I tease

He laughs and its music to my ears " Oh Miss Steele I do hope I can trust you to keep it a secret, I have a reputation to uphold." I know he is joking but I get the feeling there is a double meaning in there.

" Oh I am very good at keeping secrets Mr Grey"

" I have no doubt Miss Steele" he whispers and I can't feel myself blush. We then fall into an awkward silence continuing to lay the table. I shouldn't be flirting with my boyfriends brother but I can't help it, I'm intrigued by this man and its like a moth to a flame. Christian is first to break the silence

" So what do you normally do for Christmas?"

" I usually spend it with my stepfather Ray. Its nothing like this, I dont even get dressed"

Christian raises his eyebrow and gives me a dirty smile

" I.. I mean I am dressed... Just normally in some um pj's" I stutter and I'm sure my face is as red as my dress

Christian rounds the table and stands right behind me putting his hand on the small of my back, he leans forward and brushes his lips on the shell of my ear and whispers

" We want you to fill comfortable here Miss Steele, feel free to get undressed anytime"

I cant help but close my eyes and relish his body so close to mine. He gently nuzzles his nose in my hair and takes a deep breath inhaling my scent. I lean back into him and I can feel every defined muscle on his strong chest. All of a suddenly he backs away and i hear the door close, he is gone. I try to control my breathing but I am so aroused. I hear Elliot outside the door calling my name. I hang my head in shame, how did i let myself fall into that trap. Oh god I am such a bad person.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Last chapter for today. I am like a writing machine, I blame holiday boredom! Anyway hope you like. Once again thank you so much for the reviews, excuse the mistakes I'm writing this on my iPhone and as all iPhone users know, auto correct is not alway your friend**

We all sit down for dinner, Carrick at the head of the table carving the turkey and I couldn't help but giggle at how regal it all seemed. I was still feeling on edge from my early encounter with Christian and somehow I think Elliot noticed this because he never let go of my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze every now and then. As the conversation ebbed and flowed, Christian never looked at me once and I don't know why but it hurt. I feel rejected, humiliated and embarrassed even though technically I haven't done anything wrong. The only time he paid any kind of attention is when I refused more food, this displeased Mr Control Freak and he practically growled at me. I don't have a big appetite as it is and my anxiety wasn't helping, anyway its none of his concern I thought bitterly.

Once dinner was finished, everyone wanted to relax and watch some tv, _I know the Greys like chilling in front of the television who knew_, I was practically gasping for some time alone to clear my thoughts so I excused myself and made my way out to the back yard. This property is extraordinary and stretches over acres of land, I sit down on the steps of the wooden decking and gaze out just in time to see the sun set over The Sound. What was doing? I love Elliot, I really do he is sweet and attentive and loves me back but there is something about Christian that I want. He is sexy and dangerous and I can't deny that when he didn't acknowledge me at dinner it hurt like a bitch and that shouldn't happen. Of course I know why he was all of a sudden so cold, Elliot is his brother and I'm the girlfriend and I don't blame him, I blame myself. I will not let this stupid crush ruin my relationship. Maybe I should have gone with Ray on his fishing trip, i'm sure Big Bob wouldn't be a threat Elliot and I.

All of a sudden I hear the doors behind me open. _Please don't be Christian, Please don't be Christian_

" Ana hey what you doing out here?" I hear a worried Elliot say

I smile at him "Nothing baby just getting some air" he joins me on the steps with a blanket. He sits down and pats his thigh and I willing jump into his lap while he puts the blanket round me

" You sure your ok, you've been out here a while. I know all of this can but a little overwhelming"

" Elliot I'm fine really, missing Ray you know" I lie

He cups my face so that he can look at me "I love you, and you seemed to have charmed my family too"  
" I love you too" I say trying to avoid his eye contact  
We sit in silence for a while just admiring the view, In the future I aim to live somewhere like this, happily married, a few kids, the works.

"Have you heard from Kate yet?" Elliot interrupts the silence. _Wait what? _

"No. Why" I frown studying his face

"No reason, it's just unlike her. I haven't heard from her either"

" Why would you hear from her" What is this!, Kate and Elliot aren't friends from what I know so why would she contact him

"Babe calm down, I just thought she would call, you guys are close you know" i smile at him but I'm not convinced.

"Hey I'm cold lets go back inside" I say while climbing off his lap and gathering up the blanket. I'm not comfortable with this Kate situation but who am I to complain or be jealous, I have a thing for his brother.

We walk back into the TV room and every one turns our way, I look towards Christian and he smiles at me and my heart flutters. _No! No! No!._ Elliot guides me over to sit next to Christian and Mia makes her big announcement

"Guys since Mom and Dad are having some of the house renovated, us kids are gonna camp down here like we did when we were young" she is practically jumping up and down, jeez this girl is the same age as me and I would never do that. Her brothers just laugh at her and agree.

The lights are turned down as we all settle in for a some film Mia picked, It's actually a pretty good chick flick. An hour in and I look around to see Mia glued to the screen and fighting hard to stay awake and Carrick, Grace and Elliot and fast asleep. I snuggle further into the blanket laying over the top of myself and Elliot and close my eyes, I am about to drift off when i feel fingertips gently stroking their way up my thigh. At first I'm shocked and instantly want to push them away but it feels so good. I look around anxiously but everyone is oblivious to Christian and his wandering hands, I slide my hand down his muscular arm and entwine our fingers together. He then takes the lead and moves our joined hands up my my stomach to cup my breast. I feel him lean forward and place small kisses up neck to my ear. Once there he bites my earlobe and whispers

" I want you"

**A/N Next chapter I will attempt some lemons!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Ok i know, i know i said the last chapter was my final update of the day but you guys were so nice in the reviews, so here is chapter 5. Containing Lemons! Again done on my iPhone so excuse the mistakes. Always amazed by the reviews, you guys rock!**

Christian starts to rub his thumb over my already hardened nipple and is kissing my neck, i grip his fingers even tighter trying to stifle my groan

"Tell me you want me too Ana"

I can't tell him that, the minute I do I know I will lose Elliot and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Christian reaches for my other hand and pulls so we are effectively sitting face to face, he then places that hand on the bulge practically bursting through his pants

" You feel that baby, you feel how much i want you. I know it's wrong and we shouldn't be doing this but I can't resist you Ana, I tried and just can't do it" I flex my fingers and slowly start to caress his erection and I hear him sigh. He is growing beneath my fingers and it makes me feel so powerful. His hand which was on my nipple is making its way down and towards my wet core

"Christian please" I whimper against his lips when he begins to brush them over mine. As he slides his hand up my thigh Elliot groans and starts to sit up. We both immediately pull away and I am having a hard time composing myself where as he looks his usual Adonis self. I scowl at him and he smirks back.

" Oh sorry guys looks like we all fell asleep. I'll wake them up and we can turn this place into some sort of indoor campsite as per Princess Mia's request" Elliot moans as he gets up and heads towards his parents

I turn to the sexy devil beside me "We shouldn't have done that Christian. I don't wanna hurt anybody"

" Ana we will finish this later and believe me it will be the best you've ever experienced" I bite my lip, god I want him.

" Don't bite your lip because in a second all eyes are gonna be on us and I'm sure they will not see the funny side of my little friend here" He draws his eyes down and i follow his gaze and there sure enough is his very prominent erection, I can't hold back my groan.

Everyone helps to turn the tv room into somewhere suitable for us to sleep. As I am getting ready for bed in one of the many luxurious bathrooms I hear my phone ringing in my purse and quickly rumage through to find it, I really must clean this out. I look at the caller ID and see its Kate

" Hey Kavanagh"

"Steele! Merry Christmas"

"And a Merry Christmas to you too, what's up?"

"Um I kinda had a huge fight with parents so I am heading home so I was just letting you know I'll be back early tomorrow morning" This isn't a unusual situation, Kate is tenacious to say the least and can't drive even a saint crazy.

" Um actually Kate I'm not at home, Elliot convinced me to stay at his parents. I'm sorry"

" Oh no worries Ana, I just really don't want to spend Christmas on my own, I'll phone Jose or someone and see if they wanna join me" I feel really bad

" Kate I'm sure if I ask Grace she will let you come round here. I'll text you when I get an answer, I could use someone to talk too"

" Ana thank you so much! How's Elliot by the way?" She warily asks

Oh now I'm really curious, what the hell is going on between them!

" He's fine why do you ask?"

" No reason, just being polite. I'll hopefully see you tomorrow then, bye Steele"

" Yeah I'll text you in a minute. Bye"

I walk out the bathroom and head towards our temporary bedroom. I turn the corner and see Grace heading towards me

"Grace, I just got off the phone with my roommate Kate and she has had a falling out with her parents, do you mind if she comes over tomorrow and spends the day with us?"

" Ana dear that is no problem, the more the merrier. Goodnight darling" I hug her back and send a quick text letting Kate know. As i reach the room, Im fully concentrating on my phone and walk him to a solid statue

Holy shit! I look up and I think my jaw hits the floor. There stood in from of me is Christian Grey in only black Calvin Klein boxers. He reaches up and pulls my chin to release my bottom lip

" You have to stop doing that Ana, I'm barely managing to control myself as it is, especially when your wearing that" Shit I forgot I only had my silk thigh skimming nightgown on, honestly I didn't even know I was biting my lip. He smirks at me and glides past.

I hurriedly join Elliot in our makeshift bed and curl myself into him. I need to stop this Christian business, it's not fair on Elliot. But then I think about this Kate issue, what if he is doing the same to me? is it ok for me to be mad?

It's getting late and I am slowly drifting off to sleep. I can hear Mia and Elliot complaining about how uncomfortable they are, I guess the revisit to their childhood isn't going as planned

" Baby I'm going upstairs to one of the spare rooms, Mia and I have had enough. You coming?"

" Too sleepy... I'll come later"

" Okay night Ana" Elliot kisses my forehead and follows Mia up the stairs

I suddenly realise its just me and Christian and this sure wakes me up

" So only two remain. Look Ana, I love my brother and don't want to hurt him. But then there's you, every time you are near me every once of control I have flies out of the window and believe me that is an extremely rare occurrence for me" He stops and looks completely perplexed " It so stupid because I met you today but I want you Ana. I want you so much"

I want to cry. He is feeling everything I am. We are two magnets and I don't know if there is anything that will stop us. He gets up and moves to sit directly in front of me. He tucks a stay curl behind my hair and whispers the question he asked earlier

" Tell me you want me Ana"

This is make or break time. There is no going back once I say it. I take a deep breath and look into his eyes

" I want you Christian"

His smile is breathtakingly beautiful. He cups the back of my neck and joins our lips. This man can kiss!. There is no battle for dominance just two people learning about each other, he reaches for the hem of my nightgown and pulls it over my head. He gently lays me down and hovers above me

" Please don't touch my chest" he whispers. I can only nod, I desperately want to run my hands all over his chiseled form but I can see small scars and I know something seriously bad happened to him. He makes his way down my body, kissing as he goes. As he reaches my breast he takes my left nipple in his mouth gently sucking and running his tongue over it. I arch my back and let out a quiet moan, he uses his hand to play with my other nipple and I am struggling not to make too much noise

"Christian please" I beg

"What do you want baby?, tell me what you want me to do "

" I need you inside me"

" We aim to please Miss Steele" and he slides to two fingers into my wet folds

" Baby you are so wet" he says I can hear the admiration in his voice. I reach down and push his boxers off freeing his erection, wow he is big, much bigger than Elliot

" Liking what you see?" He asks raising his eyebrow

"Mmmmmm" I grab him and slowly start moving my hand up and down his long length

" Ana...Ana stop, if you keep doing that I'm not gonna last"

" Well Grey you better hurry up and put it to good use then"

"Aren't we a little demanding thing Miss Steele" With that he runs his tip up and down my folds coating himself in my wetness. Linking our fingers together beside my head I urge my hips up giving him permission and he slowly enters me and it feels extraordinary, he reaches my hilt and stills giving me time to adjust to his size but also savouring the moment

" Your so tight baby, you feel so good around me" He leans down and kisses my passionately, again I grind my hips begging him to move and his does slowly at first but then seemingly he can't control himself any longer and we begin to moving faster and harder. The room is filled with our heavy breathing and quiet moans, I am so close

" Come on baby, give it to me" he murmurs as he increase his speed and that's all it takes for me to fall into an earth shattering orgasm, his kisses the only thing stop me screaming his name, a few more thrust and he comes, spilling his seed inside me

"Ana oh fuck!"

We lay there, his forehead resting on mine, trying to catch our breath  
" Wow" is the only thing I can think to say  
He laughs " I agree" he winks and eases himself out of me and flops down beside me. I turn on my side and caress his cheek, he nuzzles into it and kisses my palm  
" What are we gonna do Christian?"  
" I don't know baby, I don't know"

**A/N i hope you all enjoyed it! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Another update for you guys. **  
**Quick note, someone mentioned Birth control in the last chapter and the fact it was left out is completely my fault, I even thought about as I was writing the scene but forgot. Ana is on the pill, she is (was) in a long term relationship with Elliot in which they were having regular sex **

**On with the story annnnnnd enter Miss Kavanagh! Your reviews are amazing as usual. **

I wake up a few hours later wrapped up in Christian's strong arms, his chest to my back and I have never felt more at home. I turn in his arms to study his beautiful sleeping face. The man looks so young and innocent like this and it re-awakes the butterflies in my stomach, someone is going to get hurt.  
I trace my fingertips down his cheek and across his bottom lip to wake him up

" Christian I need to go upstairs, Elliot will be wondering where I am" He slowly opens his eyes and I'm graced with his shy smile

" I don't want you leave, your so warm and soft"

I giggle " C'mon Christian, let me go"

"Okay, okay, okay just one last kiss" he says giving me his puppy dog eyes. How can I resist. I lean forward and press my lips against his and we share one of the sweetest kisses I've eve experienced, slow but passionate and full of meaning. I finally manage to extract myself from his grasp and head up the stairs. With every step it feels like I am walking straight into the burning fire. As I reach the bedroom, I freeze in the doorway looking at Elliot's sleeping frame. The guilt of what I've done to him bubbles to the surface and I can't contain the tears that slip silently down my cheeks. This is not who I am, I do not cheat but the heart wants what it wants and mine needs Christian

I quickly climb in beside him and bury my face in the pillow in an effort to hide my tear stained face, Elliot murmurs in his sleep and snuggles into my back. Eventually I fall asleep dreaming of those grey eyes.

The next morning, I wake to find I am all alone in the bed and I let out a huge sigh of relief, I need a minute to order my thoughts before I see Elliot or I know I will give the game away. I hear a quiet knock on the door, it opens and Christian pops his head in

"Morning beautiful" I can't help but smile

" Yes Mr Grey how can I help" I ask in my posh telephone voice. He grins at me

" Why ma'am I just came up to see if you were ok and to tell you breakfast will be served in 15 minutes" he answers in a rubbish southern accent. Gah! this is playful Christian and its adorable

" Thank you kind Sir, I shall put on some garments and meet you there" I say making my way over to him. Once I reach him he wraps an arm round my waist and pulls me into him. Smiling he gives me one hell of a kiss, I moan into his mouth which give his tongue the opening it was desperately craving. It all ends far too soon for my liking, I don't know what happens but when I am with him it seems so right and he erases all the worry because I feel safe.

" I should get back down there before they notice I'm gone, get dressed you need to eat" he shouts the last part as he walks down the stairs, I roll my eyes

" Oh Miss Steele I wouldn't do that if I was you" he mutters in that sexy threatening voice and I instantly feel myself moisten.

I get dressed in the clothes Mia kindly lent me, a really nice pair of skinny jeans and a grey tank top which clings to my body. As I enter the dining room all eyes turn to me and i see Christian's cloud with lust and it makes me bite my lip, I glance to my left and I see that Grace is staring at me and Christian obviously a witness to our chemistry. I hurry over to Elliot and he give me a kiss on the cheek.

Breakfast is a nervous affair, Grace is constantly watching Christian and myself and it is worrying me to death, the door bell rings and I immediately jump up to answer it desperate to leave the room. Practically sprinting to the door I open it to find Kate, standing there looking as gorgeous as ever in ripped leggings and a jumper which only covers half her stomach.

"Hey Kate, come on in"

" Steele how are you, you look great"

" Thanks I'm good, we are just having breakfast"

I lead her into the room and watch carefully for Elliot's reaction, and sure enough his eyes practically glow when he sees her. It feels like a dagger to the heart. Yes I am doing the same to him but this has clearly been going on longer than my thing with Christian , during a time where I thought we were happy. As we sit Kate is introduced to everyone and is making polite conversation, looking up i see Christian watching me concerned he mouths "you ok" and I give him a slight nod.

I am out in the entrance hall calling Ray. Most of the group have gone out for various things so all thats left in the house is Elliot, Kate, Christian and myself. As Ray is relaying his trip to me I spot Mr Beautiful heading towards me with an unnamed emotion across his face

"Sounds like you had a great time Dad, look I've got to go ok. I love you"

" I love you too Annie, make sure you come and see me soon so we can make up for Christmas"

"Sure Dad. Bye"

I hang up and Christian grabs my hand and drags me into a secluded spot round the other side of the wall. He pushed me up against it holding me there with his hips, my hands are wrapped in his above my head  
" How about you and me go and find somewhere a little more private and participate in some late morning exercise" I can feel his erection digging into my upper thigh

" We can't. Someone will realise we are missing"

" No they won't, everyone is off out and Elliot is entertaining Kate"

Just the mention of them dampens my mood and i look away, feeling that spark of anger and guilt. Christian clearly sees my distressed and cups my chin between his thumb and forefinger forced me to look at him

" What is it Ana?"

" Nothing I'm probably being stupid and paranoid."

" Look I know our situation is... difficult and has the potential to be messy and painful, so I was thinking how about tomorrow we meet up somewhere you can come to my apartment or we can go for coffee and we can talk and figure it all out before anyone gets hurt"  
I can only stand there and smile at him, this man who is used to getting whatever he wants whenever he wand it is giving me time to work this all out. I slide my hand up his muscular arms and cup his should-be-illegal-to-be-this-good-looking- face  
" Thank You" I am rewarded with his rare shy smile. Christian wraps his arms around me for a quick hug and we walk to join Elliot and Kate, talking and totally comfortable with each other. We reach the kitchen door which is closed and I stop suddenly, Christian stops with me and looks in my direction completely bemused. I focus my hearing harder and my heart skips a beat, the sound of a breathless Kate ringing in my ears

"Elliot... Mmm yessss...Stop please Ana will hear us.. Baby stop!"

**A/N Oh No! This story is like a less glamourous version of 90210 haha. Hope you enjoyed it. Until next time **

**Lianne xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Strap yourself in. Here comes the start of the angst. It's hard to find the balance when writing my Ana, even though she has cheated I don't want her to be seen as a villain, we all know the C and A chemistry is an overpowering thing. But i also don't want her to become a victim. With that in mind, this chapter is Ana's growing realisation in regards to both the Elliot/Kate situation and her feelings for Christian. Also this is a AU story some people have questioned the Elliot/Ana relationship, i just thought it would be fun to explore it**

**Again thanks to everyone who read, enjoyed and reviewed! **

I think I am in a state of denial. This can't be happening. Frozen staring at the kitchen door I barely register Christian talking to me

"Ana?... Ana... Come on let's go and sit down... Ana please!" He begs and I turn to look up at him, my eyes blurred with unshed tears.

"Why? Why is this happening to me?" I beg him knowing full well he doesn't have the answer. A stray tear falls and Christian reaches to brush it away and all of a sudden I don't want his touch. The hypocrisy of the situation isn't lost on me. The overwhelming urge to run is strong

"Christian I need some space"

" i really don't think you should be alone right now"

" Well it's really none of your concern what I need" I hiss and he looks like I've just slapped him across the face. Heading towards the door I hear him following me, I grab my coat and without turning around I whisper my plea

"Christian just give me some time" and i am out the door

I don't know how long I have been walking but it must have been a while because my fingers feel like ice. Seattle in the winter is not to be undertaken lightly and I am thankful I manage to grab a warm jacket in my hast. I am consumed by my thoughts, the evil ones which keep you from falling asleep at night, the one's which you exaggerate to hell. As I walk round the Grey's neighbourhood in Bellevue I am truly stunned by the wealth on show, rows and rows of million dollar mansions, designer stores and boutiques, car dealerships stocked full of vehicles I could only dream of owning. This world is alien to me and I know I will certainly never fit in. Maybe that's why Elliot is cheating on me, allegedly. Kate is from the is world, she grew up with money and is comfortable with it. Every time Elliot bought me a gift I would hestiate about taking it and there was always a fight about who would pay for dinner. I have supported myself my whole life, earned every cent and to relinquish that control to someone is difficult. That's another reason why Christian and myself would struggle, you know beside the whole brother thing, if I thought the money was an issue with Elliot it would be 1000 times worse with Mr Billionaire.

I find myself walking across a well kept Green with a stream at the very end I head towards it and sit huddled up on its banks. Looking back on yesterday I can't believe I was so stupid to sleep with Christian after only knowing him a few hours. I am not that experienced in relationships, Elliot is my first serious one and the only person I have ever been in love with, but I never had that instant chemistry that I had with Christian with Elliot. As soon as our eyes met there was this electricity and I was drawn to him and his danger. I had a pre conceived idea that he was cold and hard, unloving and driven by money but that is not the case. The side I saw of Christian was the exact opposite, yes I have had a glimpse at how mercurial he can be but when he is playful and smiles it is a joy to behold. But I am not going to leave Elliot if I am not 100% sure on his brother.

Ha if I leave Elliot. There is no qualms, if he has been cheating on me with Kate regardless of what I have done i will leave him this has clearly been going on longer. I will not be made to look like a mug. My roommate and best friend for goodness sake! And right under my nose.

I look out over the stream and gaze at the scene in front of me. A deserted field covered in glittering frost, it's so peaceful and serene whereas my life is quickly turning into a soap opera. The tears spill freely down my cheeks matching the river in front me.

I don't hear him but I can feel his presence. Christian sits down behind me wrapping his arms around and pulling me back into his chest. I can't control the loud sob that escapes

" Hush baby. I can't bear seeing you cry"

This only encourages more tears and he just holds me. I turn and bury my face in his neck and he rocks me gently kissing the top of my head. I don't know what exactly I am crying for; the betrayal of the two most important people in the world to me, the guilt of what I have done to Elliot, the pain that will almost certainly arise whether that is mine or to the whole Grey family, the sudden loneliness I feel. Whatever it is it sure is cathartic.

After what seem like hours, I finally calm down enough to stop crying and look at Christian. I see the worry etched on his beautiful face and I can't help my caress his cheek, leaning into my touch he pressed his lips to my forehead and murmurs

" I was so worried, I couldn't find you anywhere"

"I'm sorry for being so distant with you earlier, I didn't mean to speak to you the way I did" I look away ashamed

" It doesn't matter. I get it. Are you okay"

I feel my bottom lip trembling again and I take a deep breath in an effort to control my emotions

" Everything is such a mess Christian. How could he do this to me! And with Kate of all people!"

" My brother has never been the sharpest tool in the box Ana and for him to cheat on you, he must have a screw lose"

I can't help but smile at him. How does he do that, cheer me up when I am feeling so down.

" I don't wanna hurt your family Christian. What we are doing has the potential to tear you all apart and I couldn't bear that"

"Hey! That's not going to happen ok? I'll make sure of it" He tucks my head under his chin and hugs me tighter.

"What are you going to do about Elliot and Kate? "

As if from nowhere I feel this inner strength, like someone a lit the match. The rage is burning up in me and I feel ready for a fight

" Skin them alive if this is true" i scoff " I swear to god Christian if Kate has done this to me I will rip her a new one"

I can feel his chest rumble with laughter

" Who would have thought little Miss Steele is a bit of a firecracker" I smirk at him. I climb off his lap and help him to stand up.

" Are you ready for this?" I nod and take a deep breath

" It's now or never" He takes my hand and leads me back across the Green and to the car, determination filling me with every step

I am on the warpath

**A/N I love feisty Ana! I know this chapter was a bit of a rollercoaster but I think the shit is about to hit the fan (excuse the expression). As ever you guys are awesome **

**Lianne xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Whoa! 118 reviews for 7 chapters excuse the profanity but holy shit, you guys are incredible. This will be my last update for a few days as I am going to Edinburgh for NYE. I hope you all have an amazing New Years as well. There is some strong language ahead!**

The drive back to the house was tense to say the least. The Christian that sat with me and rocked me whilst I wept had disappeared and had been replaced by the cold, hard business man ready for battle but this wasn't his fight it was mine and I wasn't going to let him destroy more of his relationship with Elliot, our "fling" was more than enough to contend with. I reached over and squeezed his thigh and he immediately tensed like he knew what was coming

" Don't get involved Christian, this is my problem not yours"

" Don't be stupid Ana I'm not going to let you face this on your own, if i hadn't been so concerned after you left I would have already gone in there and knocked some sense into my brother"

"Christian" I sighed " I'm grateful that you would do this but if you go in there all guns blazing someone will click that we are more than just friends. I don't know if I am ready for that yet, lets just deal with one problem at a time"  
He is mouth pressed into a hard line and his knuckles are turning white from gripping the steering wheel so tight

"And besides I am more than ready for this."

We pull up to the house and I am overcome with a sense of déjà vu, 24 hours ago I was sitting here with his brother, my boyfriend, the man who I loved and trusted, preparing to meet my potential in laws. Fast forward a day I am psyching myself up to confront him about cheating on me with my best friend. This is it, jumping out the car before Christian could say anything or before I talked myself out of it. I stormed into the house.

Charging through the house like a bull being tempted by a red cloth, I thanked god that everyone was still out I really didn't want the Grey family to witness this after all this is their son , their house, at Christmas. I barged through the kitchen door only to find it empty. I checked every room downstairs to no avail. This meant they were upstairs the thought turned my stomach. I creep up the stairs trying not to disturb them, upon reaching the top i glance down to find Christian standing there watching me, he is on the phone but his face is full of despair I know he wants to do this together and it is taking every ounce of restraint not to climb these stairs. I throw him a look of gratitude and walk towards the only bedroom door that was closed. Gripping the door handle I took a deep breath and fling the door open.

Elliot is sitting upright in the bed. Naked. Only the crisp white sheet is covering his bottom half. His look suddenly turned from one of post coital bliss to one of complete fear

" Ana!"

" Fancied a little midday nap did we?"

"Ana"

" You left Kate all by herself what a poor host you are Elliot" my voice dripping with sarcasm " it's odd, I didn't see her downstairs you have any idea where she is?" He is just staring at me open-mouthed  
" Maybe she is in here" I move towards the walk in closet " We all know how much she loves clothes, Kate has a gorgeous body doesn't she Elliot?"

" I wouldn't um know Ana"

" Mmm you wouldn't know, come on Elliot your a man, you have eyes. Nope not in here" I say popping the p " maybe she is under the bed. She is alway losing things under there especially her underwear I'm always helping her find them after a guys left, you know being the caring, considerate roommate and best friend that I am"

" Ana please don't do this" Elliot pleads. I can see tears forming but I couldn't give a shit. My anger is reaching fever point but surprisingly my voice sounds calm and collected.  
" Ah! I know where she could be. Kate always likes to shower" I swing the en suite bathroom door wide open " she likes scrub off the skink of betrayal" by this point I'm screaming. Sure enough there she was, my best friend. Wrapped only in a towel. her face buried in her hands

" Ana I am so sorry"

" Sorry! You sleep with my boyfriend. All i get is a sorry!"

Elliot has jumped out of the bed and scrambled on some boxers. He comes up behind and puts a hand of my shoulder  
" You need to calm down baby"

" Don't you dare fucking touch me you lying filthy dog" I hiss and recoils from me shocked by level of my anger

" And you" I turn back to Kate, my own tears starting to fall " my best friend, the one person who knows everything about me I trusted you with my life. Remember when we used to sit at night and I would gush about Elliot and tell you how hard I was falling for him, did you not think about that when you were fucking him or was that all useful information. "

" Ana I never meant for this to happen " I snigger at the cliche " I really didn't. I love you" she reaches to stroke my arm and it makes me feel sick. I start pacing the room desperately trying to sort out my thoughts while they just stand there like gormless idiots. I perch on the side of the bed my back to them

" How long?" No response

"HOW LONG!"

" About 3 months" Elliot whimpers and in feel like I have just been punched in the gut.

" How did it start?"

" Does it really matter?" He has the audacity to ask

My head snaps towards them "Answer the fucking question" i growl quiet and menacing. Its Kate who finally manages to explain  
" It was when you went to visit your mom in Georgia. He came over looking for you, we had a few drinks and one thing lead to another" My mom was really sick a few months back so I flew out to take care of her, Bob my mothers forth husband couldn't cope on his own, i didnt have time to tell Elliot what was happening.

"Did you take her to your house Elliot? Did you fuck her in the same bed i slept in, the bed you made love to me in night after night? He hangs his head in shame and nods his head slightly

I am going to be sick. I rush past them into the bathroom to empty my stomach. It just gets worse and worse. Kate tries to comfort me but her touch feels likes its burning my skin.

" Get off me! Get off me! "

I manage to stand up and stumble out. It is becoming difficult to breath, the tears are streaming and I know I am the midst of a full blown panic attack. From somewhere I summon up the energy to call for Christian, I can't be around them anymore I need him to take me away back to the happy safe place, were I was last night in his arms.

Christian is barreling up the stairs at a speed im sure would rival Usain Bolt, he sees the state I am in and he charges for Elliot

" You worthless piece of shit! " he shouts and pins his brother against the wall " You see what you have done, what you have done to her. All you had to do was keep that dick in your pants but you couldn't even manage that"

At this point my knees can no longer support my weight and I fall to the floor

" Christian" I whisper. He turns and all the rage fades from his face only to be replaced by worry. He releases Elliot and runs over to me. He picks me up bridal style and clutches me close to his chest. Striding out I stop him in front of the two traitors. I look Kate straight in eyes

" I hate you" I say breathlessly " I will never forgive for this. We are done"

After that everything becomes a blur, Kate is screaming my name, Elliot is running after us. I can hear Christian whispering " come on baby stay awake" as he carries me out the house and to the car. I vaguely register seeing the Grey's in the driveway looking at us confused, their heads snapping round to see Elliot who is standing in the doorway in only his boxers whimpering " I'm sorry" repeatedly. The last thing I remember is Christian yelling at some man named Taylor, _so that the infamous Taylor_, to take us to somewhere called Escala

I then drift off. Away from the hurt.

**A/N Phew! Quick note this isnt the end of the drama by a long shot we still have to tackle the whole C and A cheating, Can Ana and Kate rebuild their relationship? Ana and Elliot need to hash it out and yes A and C will face some major challenges **

**I shall see you all in 2013! **

**Lianne**  
**Xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Hey guys! I hope you all had a brilliant New Year. **

**So back to the story, Its been hard to get back into the swing of it but i hope its up to standard**

**Ana. Christian. Escala. What could they possibly do to fill the time (hint hint if you don't like lemons, i suggest you skip this chapter)**

I feel like I have been hit by a train. Finding them together the way I did just added more fuel to the fire and the only thing I regret is getting so worked up that I passed out and didn't get some of the answers I needed. The levels of betrayal just kept on building the more they spoke. _Did they think of the hurt they were causing? Is it love or lust?_ _They must of noticed I had left the house before they went upstairs to have sex, that makes my stomach turn_.

I run my hand over my face and gather my bearings, this must be Christians room. Like he said yesterday the interior is simple but elegant and suits the man down to the ground. I smile thinking about how he came to my rescue. _Shit! Questions are bound to be asked, why would Elliot's brother defend me and whisk me off to his house after only knowing me a day!_ i gingerly climb out of the bed and pad my way over to what I suspect is a bathroom. I am so sick and tired of the lies, the secrets, the tears. I sigh and study myself in the mirror. Jeez I look rough, suddenly I am grateful Christian isn't about. I shift my fingers through the birds nest upon my head in an effort to sort it but it doesn't make much of a difference. My eyes look red and sore from the crying, tear tracks stain my pale face. I happen to notice out the corner of my eye a figure standing in the doorway, I take a deep breath to steady myself and turn to him. My heart can't help but melt and the sight of him, in a crisp white shirt which has been untucked from his black jeans, his messy copper hair somewhat resembling my own, he is completely barefoot and staring at me waiting for a reaction

"Hey"

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Honest answer? Drained, tired, angry, embarrassed, confused need I go on?" I offer him a small smile

" No I think I get the picture. I hope you don't mind that I bought you here, I just wanted to get you out of there and I knew you wouldn't want to go back to your apartment, with Kate living there" Shit! Where am I going to live? I am not staying with Kate, I can't bear to look at her let alone be in the same house. _Move in with Christian my inner goddess chirps in_ No way! That would be the worst idea right now. Pushing himself off from where he was leaning on the door frame he stalks towards me and wraps me in a tight grasp against his chest

" You scared me for a bit then, I couldn't get you to wake up"

" I'm sorry, i think it all got too much, the things there were telling me were disgusting"

" I phoned my mom to see what I should do, she said to let you rest and make sure you eat something."

Grace. That lovely, caring, warm woman who welcomed me into her home and I repaid her by bringing a load of drama. She clearly spotted something between Christian and I this morning and no doubt her suspicions were confirmed when Christian walked past her with me in his arms. I am such a hypocrite, I just went apeshit at Elliot and Kate for doing exactly what I am doing. Today has shown however that i do want to try and make whatever this is between myself and Christian work, even though i was in love with Elliot our connection isn't even on par with what i have with the man with his arms around me right now. This has to stop, there will be a huge fallout from our actions but we chose that bed, we need to lie in it. If he wants to be with me we have to come clean and start our relationship properly

I pull back from him so I can look at his face

" We should tell everyone about us"

" I agree"

" You do?"

" I do"

"Christian" I sigh " This isn't going to be a walk in the park. Its your family we are talking about. Are you prepared for the storm? because if you aren't I would rather walk away now"

" Firstly I'm kind of insulted that you think I am that clueless. I do own a multi billion dollar company and you can't do that if you stupid baby" he grins down at me and i slap his arm "and secondly I think we could really have something, we connect in a way I have never experience before and hopefully my family will see that, Elliot maybe not, but he really doesn't have a leg to stand on right now and finally Miss Steele we need to feed you, can't be have you passing out on me again. As much as I like having your delectable little body in my arms, next time your there I'm hoping you are awake and ready for some action" he winks I can't help but giggle

" Mmmm I love that sound"

" Oh really I have heard a rumour that there are other sounds i make which surpass my giggle" I whisper seductively into his ear, brushing my lips across and nibble on his lobe.

" Prey tell what these might be" he walks me back against the sinks and I place my arms around his neck pulling his face to mine

" I think I should just show you"

"Good idea Miss Steele" and he seals his mouth over mine. The moment our lips touch he owns and controls me. I sigh at the already familiar feeling of contentment I get when he kisses me, Christian dips his tongue inside tasting and licking and i move my hands into his hair running the smooth silky strands through my fingers. He thrusts his growing erection into me and I answer by grinding my hips.

Suddenly I am lifted off the floor and instinctively I wrap my legs around him as he walks us into the bedroom. His expression has gone from playful to dark and smouldering. He practically throws me down on the bed and eagerly climbs over.

"You are wearing too many clothes for my liking" He flips me so I am laying face down on the bed and pulls my top over my head and places it beside me. He un clasps my bra and runs his tongue all the way down my spine making me moan loudly

"You have such beautiful skin baby"

I no longer feel him so I turn my head back to see what's happening only to find him taking off his shirt, oh what I would give to touch him, feel his defined pecs and sculptures abs.

" Oh no, keep that pretty face down" Christian's eyes are blazing with lust which makes me immediately do what he said. He is lying across my back again I can feel every hard inch of him.

" I'm going to try something, you trust me?" I nod. At this point I am so aroused I would let him do anything.

He grabs my wrists and ties them to the bedposts, one with my top and the other with his. He jumps of the bed and removes both our jeans then climbs back on. Christian pulls me by the hips so i am resting on my kness and my ass is in the air on show to him. With both hands he starts to massage my ass cheeks

" I am going to have some much fun with this" _What does that mean?_ His hands head towards my soaked sex, pushing the panties aside so he can slip two fingers in and tease my clit. I am panting and pulling on my restraints

" Always so wet baby" he groans and fingers pick up speed.

" Yes... Oh Christian. Faster" I ride his fingers trying to find my release. He slips in another and this is enough for me to fall over the edge and I come shouting his name. Before I know what is happening I am flipped over again so that I am now facing him, watching as he sucks on his fingers tasting me

" So so good!" He tears my wet panties off and removes his boxers freeing his wonderfully huge cock. His head glistening with pre cum and I lick my bottom lip desperate to taste him. His attention turns to my nipples; sucking, kneading, pulling and twisting. I hope no one is around because I am moaning so loud. I can feel my juices running down my thighs, and my clit is throbbing for attention again.

" Christian please?"

" What do you want?"

" You"

" What do you want me to do?"

" Fuck me. Please fuck me. I need you inside me" I am almost begging. He sits back on is knees and grab his shaft slowly stroking himself

" I love you tied to my bed baby. It turns me on so much." I bite my bottom lip, watching him jerk himself off over me is so erotic and I feel so powerful that I have this effect on him. Before I know it he is spreading my legs even further apart and running his tip over my folds. I push my hips into him and he finally eases in, stretching and filling me. I throw my head back enjoying the fullness that comes with having Christian inside of me.

" That's it baby, feel all of me" he starts to move at a punishing pace and I love it, it's just what I need. I bend my knees and push my heels into his ass urging him to go even deeper. Suddenly he pulls out and I am forced onto my front again, he unites me from the bedpost and lifts me by the waist onto his lap and back onto his cock, my back to his front. I turn my head to kiss him and he cups my breast, rolling my nipples in his between his thumb and forefinger. I reach behind to circle his neck with my arms pushing my breasts further into his talented hands

" Ride me Ana" And that's exactly what I do. I am so close but something is holding me back, the stress of the day finally catching up with me. I untangle one of my arms and reach down to play with my clit, Christian watches me and groans

" You like that baby, you like when I touch myself"

" So much! You gonna be the death of me woman" I smirk at him and he leaves my breast, sliding his hand down my stomach and entwining it with mine, together we both rub.

" Come on baby, i'm not going to last much longer. Give it to me "

Christian thrust become shorter and harder and I climax around him, screaming incoherently. He grabs my hips, stroking himself a few more times inside of me before he stills and reaches his own orgasm, repeating my name as if its a pray. We flop down on the bed and he gently pulls out and rolls over taking me with him and tucking me into his side. I am careful not to snuggle his chest, i will have to ask him the reason why he doesn't like to be touched and i know it will be like trying to get blood out of a stone.

We lay there in a comfortable silence trying to control our heavy breathing

"And to think I only came up here to tell you to eat" Christian exclaims

I laugh. For the first time today i feel light, carefree and happy.

**A/N Ooh its hot in here isn't it. Always good to start the New Year off with some lemons. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Hey guys! As always I truly appreciate all the reviews, favs and follows. **

**Fair warning, this chapter is a long one. I really loved writing it, took me ages though.**

Christian and I are sitting upright in bed after a few more rounds of mind blowing sex. I swear this man is a machine, he is always ready for action. What surprises me more is my own sexual appetite, he makes feel like a wanton goddess and just looking at him I feel myself moisten, this never happened with Elliot or any of the other men i have been with.

I take this rare opportunity to get to know Christian better. He tells me all about his business which fascinates me, someone so young has achieved so much and when talks about work I see the passion and determination in his eyes. His desire to improve sustainable technology and poverty stricken projects is powerful and I am in awe. By the time he was my age he was acting on his ambition whereas I feel like I am stuck in a rut, I have graduated and earned my degree in English literature, the issue is deciding what to do with it. I would like to go into publishing eventually i admit to him when he asks.

During our conversation Christian's phone rings. He leans over the bed and fishes it out of his jean pocket. He look at the caller ID and his face immediately changes, I'm sure if the phone was a person it would wither under his angry stare.

" Who is it Christian?"

" Excuse me, I have to take this" He rises from the bed and hurries out the room. Butt naked. It's a sight to behold. I snuggle further into the sheets and inhale the scent, the mix of freshly laundered bedding, his unique manly fragrance and the essence of hard sweaty lovemaking.

I hear Christian's raised voice coming from outside and I frown. This is the first time I have had a glimpse of that side of him. I stand up and grab his shirt which had been tossed on the floor after he untied me from the bedposts, i wrap the shirt tight around my bare body. Quietly i open the bedroom door and walk towards the sound of Christian's voice. I've only seen one room of his apartment as I was unconscious when he brought me here and then we were sidetracked by other activities. I reach what I assume is the Great Room and i am instantly distracted by the floor to ceiling glass wall overlooking Seattle. I approach it with caution even though I know it's pretty safe, the view is staggering but I can't help but feel saddened by it. I can just imagine Christian standing here in his opulent ivory tower with billions of dollars, all alone bar what i speculate is some pretty harrowing issues based on the scars on his chest. I carry on my mission to find him and do so in his office but I halt outside the door, listening to the heated conversation taking place inside

"Elena just stop! I don't need this right now... I told you why?... Why do you need to know her name?... It's Ana, her name is Ana okay" _Why are they talking about me and who is this Elena?_

" I don't give a fuck what you think I need" Whoa he is really pissed now " Stay the fuck away from her Elena and don't even think about ruining this for me because I will destroy you and not think twice about it!" He slams the phone back in its holder and I hear him take a huge breath. It scares me that he thinks this stranger is some kind of threat to me. I am also a little afraid of his temper, his reputation as a cold, hard, unrelenting man at the moment is spot on.

I am about to make my presence known why I hear him talking again

" Elliot why are you calling me?" _Oh crap! _I want to storm in there, grab the phone and smash it into a thousand pieces but I refrain knowing that it wouldn't help the situation.

"Ana is here and is fine, she woke up some time ago"

I've had enough. Now he is concerned for my welfare!, where was that concern when he was fucking my best friend. I open the door and make my way into Christian office. He swivels in his desk chair to face me as soon as he hears the door. His eyes roam down my body much like they did the first time he saw me only this time I am dressed in his shirt and I witness the lust cloud his gaze. I manage to walk over to the chairs in front of his desk and sit tucking my legs under me

" What was I meant to do Elliot, your girlfriend was having a full on panic attack after finding out you had been fucking about behind her back" I look down at the floor trying to control my temper. He was seriously annoyed at Christian for helping me, the nerve of that man!

" Your on your way over here" My head snaps up and my panicking eyes meet his. Shaking my head vigorously I mouth " Stop him Christian"

"Elliot that is a really bad idea... I know you have to speak but now isn't the time... I won't let you in here, she isn't..." I stand up, walk round his desk and grab the phone from him mid sentence

" Don't you dare come round here Elliot"

" Baby please!"

"Baby!" I roar surprising Christian" you think you can still call me baby! Did you call Kate that too? Did you call her it when you two where laughing at me? Leave. Me. Alone."

"Ana just give me the chance to explain"

"I don't want to hear it. I need to be around people who don't lie and cheat on me" I snarl down the reciever

"Oh and that's with Christian is it?" he hisses

" What!?"

" Why is my brother so concerned for you Ana? He only met you yesterday. Don't you find that a bit strange?" This is not the appropriate way to come clean about Christian and I. Tears once again fill my eyes for what feels like the millionth time today

" Maybe he just cares about me, please don't come here Elliot. Don't break my heart anymore than you already have" I whisper, the tears now freely flowing. I hang up and Christian stands to comfort me but I push him away.

" Just give me a minute please" I don't want him to see me like this, a crying, mess of a woman is enough to put any man off. I flea from his office and I know he is chasing after me

" Ana please... Wait a second...Ana!"

I approach the great room, swiping the tears from my face when i freeze in my tracks. Christian runs into the back of me

"Ana wha...Mother!"

There in front of us stands Grace. Dressed in a long elegant cream jacket, she is looking disapprovingly at us and I suddenly realise why. I am wearing Christian's shirt and nothing else which bad enough but her son, who is currently hiding behind me holding my hips in front of his package in some kind of death grip, is stark naked.

" Christian, Ana" her voice is deceptively soft " I came over to check on Ana, we were all worried. I see now there was no need"

" Mom, I can explain"

" Enough Christian, I don't know what is going on with this family anymore but you can be as sure as hell it ends now, I want the truth. Go and get some clothes on" He nods, grabs a pillow from the couch to cover himself, kisses the back of my head and walks to his room. I am left with Grace. _Brilliant _

" Sit down Ana" she demands and I do what she asks " I had been looking forward to meeting you for a while, Elliot talks about you a lot" She said this when I first met her and it has been playing on my mind ever since. Why if he has been messing around behind my back with Kate for 3 months did he take me home to meet the family, why did he talk so much about me to his mom. It doesn't make any sense. I guess I will have to talk to him but I can't even entertain the idea at the moment.

" And when you walked through the front door I knew why" Grace continues " you are a beautiful woman who is pleasant and polite and I could see you really cared for my son which pleased me no end. I'm sure you know before you, Elliot was... Lets just say he enjoyed the company of women" H_e still does my sub conscious growls_. " I thought you two where the perfect match, you were the one who tamed him."

"Grace, all is not what it seems" I interrupt her. I deserve her ire but Elliot is not getting away scot free " Before this weekend, I was in love with him I thought we were in a committed long term relationship, clearly I was the only one with this mind set"

" I know what Elliot has done dear" she admits softly. I am taken aback by this

" You do?"

" Yes, after you left i dragged him inside and forced him to tell me what happened. His behaviour disgusts me, he was wrong and i am not defending his actions, as for Kate well" she scoffs at the mention of her her name" but is what you are doing with Christian any worse?"

" No" I sob " I didn't mean for this to happen Grace, i really didn't"

" I know. I see the way Christian looks you Ana. I have never seen him act this way. He had a rough start in life which has had a huge effect on him which is why I am very protective. I have to ask Ana, did you know about Christian before you entered my home? did you know about his money? His fame?"

She may as well have slapped me across the face

"Grace if you are implying that I am after his money you are wrong."

" Then what is it Ana? They are brothers for goddess sake!" She is angry and I don't blame her

" Mother enough!" Christian storms back into the room, now in a grey tshirt and sweatpants, " What we did was wrong, we accept that but you cannot place all the blame on Ana"

" But this is your brother's girlfriend son!"

" You don't think I know that!"

" Then why?"

" We just have this connection, I can't seem to stay away from her. I made the first move, not Ana"

I have leave. I get up and head to the bedroom to get changed. Neither Christian or Grace stop me.

As I am putting me clothes on, I have never felt more like a whore. What have I done to this family. I should have just followed my first instinct and stayed at home, away from Christian away from that world. I grab my purse and head out. Mother and son are still arguing

" I like her Christian. I really do but you have to question her motives, she came with Elliot and left with you"

"You are just not getting this mom. We are going around in circles" Christian despairs.

" I think you should take some time to think about all this especially what it will do to your brother"

" He has no right to be angry after what he has done." Christian's head turns and he notices me standing in the archway

" I'm going to head off" I murmur. He stands and moves towards me but I am already heading for the elevators. He catches me just in time

" Baby no, don't run"

" Your moms right, you need to think about this."

" No I don't, I need you stay here. With me" I see him panicking. I reach up and caress his cheek, his stubble pricking my palm.

" Thank you for everything you have done for me today. You have no idea what it means to me. How about we still go for that coffee tomorrow?"

His face lights up slightly " I'll hold you to that Miss Steele"

I push up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He cups the back of my neck and gently strokes his tongue against mine

" Taylor will take you where you want to go. Be safe ok and I'll call you later" I smile and enter the elevator with Taylor who just appeared from nowhere. I send Christian one last wave before the doors shut.

I ask Taylor to drop me off at my apartment. I am so tired, today's events have exhausted me and I am looking forward to crawling into my bed and blocking out the world. I dig through my purse searching for my keys when the door suddenly opens and there standing in front of me is the last person I want to see

" Ana thank god!"

Kate. Could this day get any worse

**A/N I struggled with writing Grace in this chapter. I really liked her in the books and i think she is one of the better characters but she is their mother and is understandably protective and i have tried to show that here. I will be exploring the Ana/Grace relationship further. **

**Anyway thanks for reading as always!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N So glad you all loved the last chapter. Today I finally sat and wrote down everything I want to include in this story and I am so excited about it. There will be lots of drama, twists, heartbreak and hopefully copious amounts of love and lemons**

**I feel I should once again apologise for any mistakes. I am still writing on my iPhone which is a pain. I have gone back and fixed most of the errors in the last chapter. **

**This one is tough. You may hate Kate a little bit**

"You have some nerve"

I glare at the woman before me. She looks a mess; her face is blotchy and red from crying, those usually rosy defined cheeks are now stained with mascara, gone is the stylish outfit she was wearing this morning, it has been replaced by her light pink pyjamas with bunnies all over, she always wears these when her latest fling has dumped her ass. I haven't seen these for a few months _that's because Elliot was keeping her well satisfied_. She is just standing there whimpering and I can't bear to look at her. The rage is eating me up inside and I know if I don't get into this apartment soon, there will be a scene. I push past her and slam my purse on the kitchen counter. It's plainly obvious that she wants to talk now and I won't be able to just lock myself in my room. I am going to need some Dutch courage if we are going to do this. I spot a half open bottle of scotch in our drinks cabinet, I usually can't stand the stuff but right now I need something strong.

" Where have you been?" she murmurs, watching me warily as a swig back the amber liquid

" Why do you care? I'm sure our precious Elliot has already called and filled you in on the day's events" She hesitates before answering me which I know means that Elliot has been in touch

" I haven't heard from Elliot"

" Stop lying!" I scream "Stop. It. I have known you, lived with you for nearly 5 years now I know when you hiding something. At least I thought I did before Christmas"

" I'm sorry Ana, I'm so so sorry"

" This is what's gonna happen Kate, you are going to tell me everything, any question I ask I want answered. Honestly. I think you owe me that much don't you?" I snarl and Kate nods. Her head hangs down and those perfecting manicured fingers are fidgeting in her lap as she perches on the edge of the couch. I sit opposite on the armchair we bought a few years back, it was an impulse buy in Ikea when we were on one of our "pretend we are proper adults and buy home furnishings for our new apartment in the city" days. The memory hurts my heart, Kate is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister, we do almost everything together.

" Why Elliot? Out of all the men in Seattle you choose my boyfriend. Have you seriously slept with them all? " I know I am being bitchy but right now the hurt I am feeling is over-riding all other emotions

" I have always found him attractive" I glare at her, fighting the urge to rip her hair out. I wanted the truth and this is what i am getting. " I tried Ana, I really did. I went out when Elliot came over, I slept with other guys to block it all out, even after the first time I pushed him away refused to acknowledge what we did and how I felt but the pull became too strong" Kate's voice is barely a whisper at this point. I suppose I relate in away, Christian and I are dealing with similar issues.

" Who made the first move?"

" It was mutual. There had been little moments, if you wanna call them that but nothing until you went to your mother's. You had left for Georgia on the Thursday morning and I was getting ready for class. The doorbell went and I answered it, he came looking for you because you had arranged to meet or something, I told him the situation and offered him a drink. One drink turned into 7 and then it just happened" I close my eyes and a tear trickles down my face. The knife keeps twisting further and further into my heart

"Was i ever close to catching you?" She nods and i take a deep breath suddenly remembering the time i arrived home after class to find Elliot here acting strange and jumpy. Now i know why

" What did Grace say to you after i left?"

" Nothing at first, she dragged Elliot into Carrick's office. They were in there a while. I got dressed and by the time I made my way downstairs they came out and Grace told me to leave. She looked at me with pure disgust"

" Can you blame her? Let me tell you, our feelings are pretty similar right now"

" I know and you have every right. Where did you go anyway. I've been trying to find you all day"

" Christian took me to his apartment"

Kate frowns " Why would be do that?"

" Oh I'm sorry to inform you Kate but not everyone likes to see me suffer"

" I didn't mean it like that!" We are getting off topic. Once upon a time Kate would be the person I would discuss Christian with. Not anymore

" I knew something was going on over Christmas" Kate looks at me bemused " Elliot asked if I had heard from you. I was sitting in his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around me. We were in the most romantic setting watching the sunset over The Sound and he asks about you. Not the smartest is our Elliot"

" Did you think of me at all during those 3 months? Do I mean so little to you?"

" No, no, no Ana" she leaps from her seat and falls in front of me on her knees " You are my best friend, my sister. And Elliot loves you, I..I know he does, we just messed up really bad"

" Oh you think. You crossed the line Kate no in fact you are thousands of miles away from the line. I trusted you with my life, with my boyfriend. I would have done anything you asked me because I loved you, i thought you were the same!" I stand up and start pacing

" Do you remember when I broke up with Ben?" her head snaps up. " I had been sitting on the couch for a few hours, in complete darkness, when you found me just staring into space. He was my first boyfriend in college and was one of the hottest guys on campus, seems I have a type huh!" I snort

" Don't do this Ana"

Ignoring her I continue " Before him I had only slept with one guy, the man I lost my virginity to, so I was inexperienced shall we say. When we first started dating, he was sweet, attentive, couldn't do enough for me and I thought we had pretty exciting fulfilling sex life, thought i did a good job of keeping his attention you know. We went out one night with a bunch of his friends and he got really drunk and i mean completely wasted. I felt uncomfortable and asked him to take me home. He refused, ignored me for the rest of the night and i made the mistake of bugging him. That's when he changed. Ben dragged me into some bushes away from the group, pushed me to the loor and into the mud, held me down by the throat and told me all about the other girls he had fucked and how much better they were than me" I walk over and sit down on the floor next to her " You held me, bathed me and slept beside me all night comforting and just listening. Do you remember that Kate? Do you know your the only person in the world who knows about it? I was a broken woman and you are the only person i let in"

Tears are cascading down both our cheeks. " I love you Ana. Ben hurt you and i could have killed him, watching you tear yourself to shreds over that asshole was one of the hardest things i've ever seen" she chokes out

" I love you too Kate, but this pain you have caused is killing me, all of those insecurities that were created by Ben have just been made ten times worse by what you and Elliot did. There is no way back for us now"

" We can fix this!" Grabbing my hands she pleads with me " I'm begging you, let me try and heal us"

" I am going to find somewhere else to live" I whisper

" No Ana please! Please don't do this. She grabs my face in her hands "I will stay away from him, I won't ever look at Elliot again just don't leave" Kate is crying hysterically. I get up, turn my back to her and pour myself another glass of scotch.

" I can't forgive you Kate. The thought of you two together, sneaking around behind my back trying to find ways of meeting up and having sex keeps swirling around and around my mind and it makes me sick. I can't continue to live here and spend my life constantly paranoid. I resent you now, imagine how bad it would be in a few months or years even down the road"

" I'll move out then" She is trying to be the martyr here and its pathetic "It's the least I can do"

" I don't want your pity. This is your home and your parents pay for it. I'll be fine. I think it's best if you stay somewhere else tonight though, I will be gone in the morning when you get back" I don't shout or raise my voice, i really don't have the energy anymore I just want her to leave. She heads into her room to get changed and pack a bag. Grabbing my phone I see Christian has emailed me _how did he get my address? I'm not sure i like this, his power knows no bounds_. I am about to reply when I feel Kate's presence, she walks up and places a kiss to the back of my head.

" I love you sweetie. You will never know how sorry I am or how much I hate myself for hurting you like this. If you ever need me, I will be there in a flash. I love you. I'm sorry" she kisses me a few more times and heads out the door.

I walk over to lock it but instead slide down the smooth wood and crumble to the floor, sobbing my heart out. Grieving for the loss of my best friend.

With trembling hands I pick up the phone and read Christian's email

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele  
Subject: You!  
Date: December 26th 2012 17:25  
From: Christian Grey

Ana

I understand why you ran today I know my mom was tough on you. This morning in bed was perfect, you are perfect and i can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Taylor informed me you arrived back at your apartment safely but a young woman was there, I assume that's Kate. Is everything alright?

Christian Grey  
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, inc.

* * *

I didn't even realise Taylor was watching us outside. I have this sudden urge for Christian, i need to see him.

* * *

To: Christian Grey  
Subject: How did you get my email address?  
Date: December 26th 19:35  
From: Anastasia Steele

Are you busy?

Ana

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele  
Subject: I have my ways...  
Date: December 26th 19:37  
From: Christian Grey

No. Why?

Christian Grey  
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, inc.

* * *

To: Christian Grey  
Subject: We need to discuss this...  
Date: December 26th 19:40  
From: Anastasia Steele

I need you to hold me

* * *

I don't wait for his reply but crawl into my bedroom and curl up on the bed burying my head in the pillow and continuing to weep. After what feels like only 10 minutes I feel the bed dip behind me and strong arms wrap around my waist. I turn in the hold, grab a handful of his shirt and tuck my head into his neck. Christian kisses my temple

" I've got you baby. I'm here"

**A/N *sniff* I think I need a tissue. Poor Ana.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I have made a few little tweaks to the last chapter nothing huge but I felt it needed a bit more TLC. I find I am doing this more often, usually better ideas come to me after I have posted the chapter which sucks! **

**I apologise if any of my references throughout this story aren't correct, I am from the UK and have never been to America let alone Seattle. Also I may tend to use some "British terminology" even though I try not to, If you ever don't understand don't hesitate to ask. **

**Here we get a little insight into the insecurities mentioned in chpt 11. I'm writing this on my iPhone and watching the new episode of CSI:New York (merging the fandoms) so excuse any mistakes. **

**Warning: Lemons! **

Christian is brushing the hair off my face as he continues to hold me. The crying has stopped but I am still not ready to let him go.

"What happened with Kate baby?"

" I forced her to tell me the truth. She never said it but I think she is in love with him" I sniff " I let her know how betrayed I feel in which she responded by apologise thousands of times which is something I guess"

" I'm proud of you. I know it can't have been easy"

I look up at him with watery eyes and bottom lip trembling " I've lost my best friend Christian"

" Hush baby, if that is how Kate acts as a best friend i dread to think what  
she is like as an enemy. You are better off away from her" I know he is right but his words slice through me, this isn't just some occasional girl who pops in and out of my life. This is where Christian and I are going to face problems, we know nothing about each other. He has no idea just how much I depended on Kate, everything in our lives revolve around each other _or at least I thought it did_.

" Do you have many friends Christian?" I ask. We need to get to know each other, this is all going incredibly fast and I know so little about him. What if we jump into this, cause a family rift and then I realise he isn't the one for me. I couldn't live with myself

" Not really. I've had to work hard for many years so there hasn't been time for me to have a social life.  
" Oh come on you must have somebody. What about Taylor?"

" Taylor works for me, it would be very unprofessional for us to have anything other than a business relationship. I want him to be impartial and do his job, thats what i pay Taylor to do" He firmly states. Whoa talk about not mixing business with pleasure, this guy takes it to extremes

" Seriously Christian from what I've seen, which has been limited I admit, You and Taylor seem to be fond of each other. He lives in your house for goodness sake"

" Anastasia, Taylor has worked for me for 7 years now. We are comfortable around each other. He does a lot for me and I respect him, that's as far as it goes." I think that's the money issue coming into play again. I have always been friendly with my employers and if I lived in their house I would hope I had more than an amiable affiliation. But when you are in charge of the welfare of one of the most powerful and famous business men i suppose boundaries have to be drawn

" So there is no one?"

" Nope"

" Really?"

"Really. Why are you pushing this Ana?" He is getting quite agitated with me

" Because I want to get to know you better and i find it hard to believe that a young, good looking boy like yourself doesn't socialise"

" I am a busy man, when I do get some free time I participate in a few interests but I like to keep them private" _Why, what is he in to?_

" What about Elena?" Christian immediately stills

"How do you know about Elena?" He demands

" I..I heard you on the phone. I didn't mean to listen in but I heard my name and you sounded angry" I cower. He removes one arm from around me and runs his hand through his sexy, messy, copper hair.

" I suppose you could call Elena a friend" he sighs " I've known her since I was teenager. She was the one who gave me the money to start my company" _Holy Shit!_ A swipe of jealousy rips through. I heard Christian on the phone, this woman clearly care for me although we have never met and I was hoping, deluding myself maybe, that she would stay away after Christian's warning. Who am I kidding, this woman gave him everything and I have known him 5 minutes. Of course if it came down to it he would choose her over me. Elliot did it with Kate why would Christian do anything different.

I pull away from his grasp and turn away to face to the wall.

" Hey what's wrong?" Christian tries to roll me back but I refuse

" I'm tired. You can stay here if you want"

" If this is about what you overheard, there is nothing to worry about"

" Oh really Christian. A woman I have never even heard of is clearly some kind of treat to me and I shouldn't worry!? What universe are you living in?" I want this day to be over! " You may have security watching your every move but I have nobody. I have no boyfriend, no best friend, my mother lives thousands of miles away, my father stays out of state, and as of tomorrow I am officially homeless. So tell me Christian if you were in my shoes wouldn't you be a little concerned? maybe feel a little vulnerable?"

Christian finally manages to turn my body and lifts my chin up to meet his beautiful grey eyes

"You have me"

" Christian" I sigh and he brushes his lips over mine

" I will deal with Elena. Nobody is going to hurt you Ana, I won't allow it"

" You can't protect me from everyone Christian, your not Superman" He grins at me and nudges my nose with his

" Would you be my Lois Lane if i was?" I playfully slap his shoulder. My first target was his chest but managed to stop myself in time.

" I'm being serious Christian, we have known each other a day. This is going ridiculously fast"

" I understand where you are coming from but strangely it feels like longer. Believe me Ana, this is all very new to me and its taking some adjusting but I have never wanted somebody more"

" You cannot honestly be saying you have never had a relationship" I tease

" That's what I'm saying Ana. I've had...lets call them acquaintances but never someone who I've had such strong feelings for"

" What do you mean by acquaintances?" This is bugging me

" Just that. I like control, although that seems to fly out the window when your pretty face is around, and I exercise that in all aspects of my life. Look you've had a stressful day, just drop it for now" I decide to humour him because I don't know how much more I can deal with but I will get to the bottom of it.

I snuggle into his side and slowly start to drift off. Before sleep catches up with me i am inturrupted by Christian

" Did Kate kick you out?"

" No. I told her I would leave in the morning. I wanted one last night here without any drama so I asked Kate to give me some space"

"Where are you gonna go?"

" I have no idea. Probably look for an apartment tomorrow morning and stay with my friend Jose" Christian's mouth sets in a hard line, I can tell he doesn't like that idea

" You could stay with me" I look up and laugh. Mr Control Freak doesn't find it as amusing

" Um... No. That would be a terrible idea" He looks offended and i reach up and run my hand through his silky hair in effort to console him " Baby it would absolutely give the game away, your brothers ex girlfriend moves into your apartment. People will talk Mr Grey"

" So let them. I don't give a shit!"

" You may not but I do. Plus whatever happened to the art of romance, I want to be wined and dined by the billionaire" I smirk " You also haven't asked me to officially be your girlfriend. I may see some cute college guy who is willing to woo me and I will just have to accept seeing as I'm not attached to anyone"

Christian growls and rolls on top of me and thrust his hips. I giggle, spreading my legs allowing him settle in between

" So you want to be my girlfriend Miss Steele?" I bite my lip and nod " mmmm I like that idea"

Christian entwines our hands and holds them above my head so that his body is cocooning mine. He runs kisses from the corner of my mouth, across my jaw and down my neck. I moan and bend my knees so that I can push my heels into his ass in order to gain to some friction on my throbbing clit.

" I need to be inside you Ana." I untangle our hands and undo his fly as indication I want this too. After all the drama, I need to feel him. I need him to make it go away. In a flash, clothes are being flung in every direction and i flip him over so I am straddling his thighs. Christian's rock hard erection is on full show and I do what I've wanted to do since the first time I saw it. I grab the base of his cock and start to pump whilst leaning down to kiss the tip, I'm rewarded with a small spurt of pre-cum and I lick it off

" Mmmm and you thought I tasted good" I wink at him and Christian groans. Pushing him into my mouth I start to suck. I swirl my tongue around and around while Christian flexes his hips. I suck harder, supporting myself with my free hand on his strong hard thigh. Christian cups my head with both hands, lightly tugging on my hair, to guide me. I can tell he is close because his grip tightens and his pants become shorter and louder. I sheath my teeth and take him as deep as I can go, still continuing to stroke his impressive length.

" Shit! Ana. Ana. Stop I don't want to come in your mouth" I obey and he pulls me up to meet me in a passionate kiss. He flips us once again and inserts two fingers into dripping wet folds

" Fuck Baby, you are so wet. Does sucking my cock turn you on that much"

" Please Christian" I whimper as he continues to spread my juices up and around my clit. With one quick thrust he enters me and we both moan with pleasure. With finally being joined. At first we enjoy a slow, lazy pace. Looking into each others eyes and kissing each other like our lives depend on it. I've never experienced anything like this. It's so strong, so powerful.

Christian hooks his arms under my knees, lifts and spreads them further apart. He moves faster and faster, hitting the same sensitive spot repeatedly

"Will. You. Be. My. Girlfriend. He accentuates each word with a thrust.

"Yesssss" I throw my head back and scream as my orgasm finally hits

" That's it baby, squeeze me tight"

I lay there panting, coming down from my intense orgasm, just watching Christian. His beautiful face contorted with concentration, the veins in his neck popping out and his firm muscles flexing with every movement I reach down between us, feeling my own wetness which only serves to turn me on again, i cup his balls in one hand gently caressing them and fingering my clit with the other

" Fuck Ana... Oh baby that so sexy. Yes. Don't stop." He leans down and takes my hardened nipple in his mouth sucking hard. I arch my back consumed with so many sensations. Already delicate from my first orgasm its not long before I climax once again, this time Christian follows, screaming my name.

He eases out and falls onto the bed next to me. We both lay there panting. I have a new boyfriend. Already. And not just any boyfriend; gorgeous, stupidly rich, brother of my ex, control freak boyfriend.

" Next. Time. You. On. Top" Christian exclaims breathlessly

" You are insatiable Mr Grey" I giggle

" Only for you Miss Steele"

He places his hand over my heart " Mine"

I go to do the same but stop. Christian tentively nods

" Please be gentle" I place a featherlight hand over his heart

" Mine"

**A/N Ahem! I didn't actually intend to write lemons for this chapter, i think says more about me then anything else. Only Christian could ask someone to be his girlfriend during sex. Hearts and Flowers baby! **

**As you may have realised my Ana is more like the Ana in Book 2/3 bedroom wise, she is comfortable sexually and i much prefer her like this**  
**Hope you all enjoyed xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N Hey guys! So a little switcharoo, how do you fancy a little of Mr Grey's perspective. **

**Christian POV**

This week has been a whirlwind. From my office in GEH, i can see most of Seattle. Down their somewhere is my secret girlfriend. _Fuck for the first time in my life i have a girlfriend_. I haven't seen Ana an awful lot since she emailed me and asked if I would come and hold her. My heart literally skipped a beat when I read that message, I have no idea what that woman is doing to me. I recline back in my office chair and reflect.

I was dreading Christmas with my family. It's not that I don't love them, I do, but I always feel uncomfortable being back at home for an extended period of time. It reminds me too much of my childhood. To say my childhood was rough is a fucking understatement. I was a mess, still am I just hide it well. Ever since I was I adopted by Grace and Carrick I have always felt undeserving of their love. My birth mother was a crack whore and we lived with her pimp. I was very young but still remember vividly the beatings, I have the scars to prove it as well. This was the start of my touch phobia and i suppose distanced me from everyone. The only touch I have ever known has been harsh.

I arrived at my parents house on Christmas Day expecting the usual. Mia being over excited, annoying but ultimately adorable. Mom and Dad normally serve one hell of a feast and their love is openly displayed even after all these years. Elliot usually spends the day trying to wind me up, seriously my brother is a year older than me but acts like a 5 year old. That was however until he met his " new girlfriend". My mom told me a few days before that he was bringing someone home to meet the family. _Oh brilliant another face to tolerate i thought_. I would be quite happy to spend the day at Escala, working and eating something Mrs Jones my housekeeper had left in my refrigerator. Work is always an escape for me. I am in total control, I answer to nobody. My mother doesn't understand why I can't spend a few hours with phone off and spend time with them.

As soon as i stepped into the house I wanted to leave, that was however until Miss Steele arrived. The first time I saw Ana she took my breath away. She stood in my parents entrance wearing this tight, knee length red dress. Her chestnut hair fell freely down her slim shoulders and back. Her toned legs were extenuated by her sky high black heels. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Elliot had his arm around her waist and i felt a pang of jealously. Our eyes met and the electricity between us could have powered the whole of Seattle. For the first time in my life I didn't want to whip, flog or cane her, well maybe a little but I didn't want her as my submissive.

The rest of the day I tried to stay away from her. She was my brothers girlfriend for fuck sake but our meeting had thrown me off guard. For years I have avoid this type of situation my need for control is exercised is all aspects of my life, this includes sex. I am a dominant. I have Elena to thank for introducing me into this lifestyle, she was the one who brought discipline into my world. Elena isn't best pleased with my relationship with Ana she doesn't understand it, to be fair i don't completely get it either. I wouldn't say the urge has disappeared, I would love to take Ana into my playroom, but i can't bear the thought of losing her. I have never wanted someone this bad.

When I found out what my brother had done I was fuming. The hurt displayed on Ana's face when we heard them in the kitchen was heartbreaking. I just wanted to hold and protect her. It took every ounce of restraint not to follow Ana up the stairs as she went to confront them, I distracted myself by calling Taylor and making sure I could get her out of there. When I heard her call out for me i couldn't get there fast enough what I found made my blood boil. My complete asshole of a brother and his bit on the side were standing there practically naked whilst Ana was in midst of a panic attack and my instincts took over. I rushed at my brother trying to beat some sense into him. How could he cheat on Ana. She is everything a man needs. She is what i need.

I carried an unconscious Ana out to the car. I wasn't concern about the reactions of my parents or Elliot i needed to get her away from the pain. I watched her sleep on the drive home, I studied her beautiful face from her cute button nose to her full pink lips. I traced my finger over them trying to memorise the feel and shape of them. Her gorgeous long curly brown hair fanned over my arm like a waterfall. Surprisingly I loved holding her in my arms, close to my chest, I never wanted to put her down.

When we fuck our connection continues to get stronger. If I could get away with being inside her constantly i would, its like we were made for each other. You can only imagine my surprise when she enjoyed being tied up _she isn't as innocent as she looks_. Maybe I could introduce her to a little kink and we could work up to the more hardcore stuff. I know i shouldn't keep my dominant side from her but I can't take the risk. Hopefully once she gets to know me better it won't scare her off _Who are you trying to kid Grey, you like to whip little brown haired girls of course she will run for the hills_

I tap on my mouse and open up my emails; I see a few from my Personal Assistant Andrea reminding me of my schedule, there is one from the head of the large shipyard in China that I am interested in taking over, ideally I would like to expand my business to Asia and combine it with my love of anything nautical. My weekends are normally spent sailing on my yacht, The Grace. I should take Ana, some  
High sea fucking sounds exquisite.

I scroll down the page further and spot a message from Anastasia.

* * *

To: Christian Grey  
Subject: Your lonely, bored girlfriend  
Date: 2nd December 2013 13:45  
From: Anastasia Steele

My Dear Mr Grey

I am shopping for my new apartment and I hate it. I also hate this card you conveniently placed in my purse. I am NOT using it. I don't care how much money you have I can support myself, I've been doing it for 21 years.

I haven't seen you in two days and I know we are meeting for dinner tonight but I miss you. Can you squeeze me into your busy day Mr Grey? I need saving from these uber annoying shop assistances, I can grab us some late lunch?

Ana

* * *

Her email makes me smile. How can she go from little Miss Smart Mouth to cute and sexy.

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele  
Subject: My beautiful but stubborn girlfriend  
Date: 2nd January 2013 13:47  
From: Christian Grey

Anastasia

I put that card in your purse for a reason, call it a late Christmas present. I could arrange a personal shopper for you that way you can avoid them.

I miss you too baby. The world of mergers and acquisitions isn't nearly as interesting as you and your delectable body. Of course I have time, just come by GEH. I take it this means you haven't eating today, you really must eat baby I don't want you wasting away on me I intend to have you around for a while yet.

Christian Grey  
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

* * *

To:Christian Grey  
Subject: Flattery will get you nowhere...  
Date: 2nd January 2013 13:51  
From:Anastasia Steele

Christian I am not using your credit card. End of discussion.

I'll pick up something from the deli on my way. Be there in 20

Are you just after my body Mr Grey?

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele  
Subject: Not flattery just fact...  
Date: 2nd January 2013 13:54  
From: Christian Grey

Fine. But you are going to have to get used to it baby, I am a very wealthy man and want to share it with you

That and your smart mouth Miss Steele. Speaking of your perfect tight body, hurry up and get here.

Christian Grey  
Horny CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, inc.

* * *

To: Christian Grey  
Subject: You are always horny  
Date: 2nd January 2013 13:56  
From: Anastasia Steele

We are not having sex in your office

* * *

To: Anastasia Steele  
Subject: Only around you Miss Steele  
Date: 2nd January 2013 13:58

We'll see

Christian Grey  
Hungry and Hard Boyfriend & CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

* * *

She is probably right, it's not the best idea to fuck her in my office but its hard to resist. I know she has a problem with my money but I want to give her the world, a few picture frames and some duvets aren't going to break the bank. Admittedly i do have an ulterior motive, I want her out of Jose Rodriguez' apartment as soon as possible. I don't like the boy. He is clearly in love with her and I don't like sharing what's mine. Ana and I went apartment hunting a few days ago and found one near Escala which was ready for her to move into straight away. I offered to buy her a place which resulted in our first fight. She accused me of trying to buy her affection and illustrated quite clearly in front of the estate agent that she can stand on her own two feet. It pissed me right off but equally turned me the fuck on. She stormed off but I caught up and rushed us back to Escala where I proceeded to fuck her brains out. That woman is far too stubborn sometimes.

True to her word 20 minutes later, i am informed that a Miss Steele is waiting outside. I greet Ana by giving her a sweet kiss on the cheek which gains a gasp from Andrea. She has never seen me with a woman before and probably assumed like most that i was gay. _If only they knew_. Anastasia is suitably stunned by her surroundings. I return to my seat and watch as she takes in the view from the glass window

" You have a thing for views Mr Grey, first Escala now here"

" I sure do" I say distracted by the woman herself: the sunlight is shining on her pale face making it glow, her glorious ass is showcased in a pair of tight blue jeans, those perky breasts are pushed up even further by the lingerie I brought her for when she stays at mine. She spins and notices me staring at her. She bites down on that bottom lip. _Fuck she has no idea how much that turns me on! _Ana saunters over and straddles me.

" Well how would you like to experience the view up close?" i nibble at her bottom lip

" You bet I do" I run my hands up and down her sides, occasionally brushing her breasts. Ana moves her hands into my hair and gently tugs. I love it when she does that.

" So sex in my office Miss Steele?" She grins and presses her lips to mine. There is a desperate, primal need to our kiss, my erection growing with every stroke of her tongue. I am about to pull the shirt over her head when my intercom crackles and Andrea's voice rings through the room

" Mr Grey, your brother is here to see you"

**A/N I go back to Uni this week so i'm not sure how regular the updates will be. I will try my best to still keep it daily but that may not always happen**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Here comes the angst! I was struggling with a couple of different ideas for this chapter. I hope you like what i finally decided upon.**

**Ana's POV**

"Shit!"

I hop off of Christian's lap in flash and smooth down my shirt. This can't be happening, this is definitely not how Elliot should find out about us. He has been trying to call me all week and I have ignored all of his calls and voicemail mesaages. Partly because I don't want to hear what he has to say but also I have been enjoying my time with Christian, this man makes me forget everything.

" Andrea give me a few minutes and i will b right out" _Jeez Christian that doesn't sound suspicious at all._

" Are we going to tell him?"

" Look Ana, I don't want to keep this a secret anymore. We have to tell him at some point, saying that this isn't the best time. A full on family drama in front of my employees would be extremely unprofessional" I completely agree. Looking around I spot a door on the opposite side of the room

" What's in there?"

" It's my personal bathroom"

" Ok I'll go hide in there. Arrange a meeting with him or something and we will tell him then." This whole situation makes me feel sick. How in the world did Kate and Elliot manage to keep there cool for all those months. Even though currently Christian and I aren't doing anything wrong, we are two young single people who are attracted to each other and share an intense connection, the issue however is how our relationship began. Christian rounds his desk and stands in front of me

" Everything is going to be ok." He plants a chaste kiss and I scurry off into the bathroom.

Once inside I lean against the door and take a deep breath. I suppose I was deluding myself this week, I have been so swept up in everything Christian Grey i had forgotten we still have so many obsticles to face. No matter how angry I am at Elliot for what he has done to me, my intention is not to hurt him. I loved this man, he was the first person in a long time that I have completely opened up to and let them in. I can be a very independent and guarded person, past incidents have made me this way. The thought of breaking apart brothers is the thing I fear most, if their relationship crumbles because of me I don't know if I will be able to forgive myself and i could handle it if Christian started to resent me for it, it would almost certainly spell the end for us. This fills me with dread.

I didn't shut the door properly on purpose so that I could see and hear what is going on outside. Christian returns to the room, gone is the seductive, flirty man he was 5 minutes ago the man standing there now oozes hostility and apprehension. It is then when I notice Elliot skulking in; he looks like has lost some weight, his standard check shirt no longer fits as tightly as it once did, the normally tanned, glowing face looks tired and pale, Elliot's whole demeanour radiates sadness and confusion. It may be mean but this pleases me somewhat, it shows that he may actually care for me a little and might be remorseful. If he came in here bouncing I would have probably lost it. The two men take their seats; Christian in his " throne" looking every inch the powerfully CEO, Elliot seated opposite like his is facing the headmaster and not his younger brother.

" What are you doing here Elliot?" Christian inquires softly. I can tell that regardless of his feeling for me this is still his older brother. I smile secretly at him.

" I just needed to talk to someone, everyone is angry at me at the moment"

" Can you blame them Elliot for fuck sake" he drags his hand through his messy copper hair " What you did was disgusting"

" I know that! I know I hurt Ana but she won't let me apologise"

" I don't think this can be fixed with an apology Elliot. You crushed her"

" Kate won't answer my calls either" I am fuming. After everything he is still trying to contact Kate. The only thing stopping me from marching in there is Christian who lifts his gaze in my direction and gives me the " calm down, I'm dealing with this" look.

" Kate shouldn't be top of your priorities right now. You should be more concerned with how Ana is feeling. Stop being such an inconsiderate bastard!" Christian's temper is rising and I can't do anything to cool him down because what he is saying is right.

" Hey! I didn't come here for a lecture Mr High and Mighty, I came here for some brotherly support"

" Seriously! You think I am going to sit and defend you. I carried the woman you supposedly loved out of the house when she was near unconscious because she found out you had been cheating on her for 3 months!" I close my eyes and try to hold back the tears. Hearing it put so bluntly to the man who came here for some sympathy is hard to stomach.

" Oh yeah about that, You my dear brother are the only person who has seen or spoke to her. Isn't that just a bit strange" Elliot's voice is full of indignation.

" Who else was she suppose to reach out to little brother huh? Her boyfriend. Her best friend. No that's right you two where too busy sneaking around behind her back and fucking like rabbits" Elliot hangs his head in shame, suitable chastised by Christian's putdown

" How is she?" he whispers. What is with his sudden mood swings. He was never this mercurial before. One minute he sits there remorseful then the next he seems the complete opposite.

" She feels betrayed, mislead and deceived but more importantly her trust has been broken. You really fucked up this time Lelliot. That girl deserves to be cherished" The last statement melts my heart and apparently breaks Elliot's as he lets out a sob. I no longer want to hear anymore. I move to sit on the small ledge opposite the door between the sink and shower. I'm trying to figure this whole mess out. There is no doubt that I want Christian, that is a no brainer. He wants me back which still baffles the fuck out of me. There is however the little niggle in the back of my mind, If Elliot can cheat on me maybe Christian will too. I mean look at the man, he is beyond gorgeous I bet he has women throwing themselves at him every minute of every day and I don't know if I can deal with that. The fact that I am hiding in a bathroom shows that this relationship is abnormal.

My thoughts are interrupted by footsteps heading towards me. The door swings open and I look up expecting to find Christian instead I find the bemused face of my ex boyfriend

" Ana!?" Elliot gapes at me. I stand up and push past him back into the office just as Christian re-enters the room. He freezes in his tracks when he sees me and Elliot

" What are you doing here Ana?"

" I... Um.. Er" I don't want to lie anymore I have had enough. Christian is my boyfriend and i am tired of keeping it a secret. We will not be like Kate and the man who stands before me. Elliot looks between Christian and myself and i see the realisation dawn on his handsome face

" No!" A disbelieving smile forms and quickly disappears. He waves his finger at us " You two? No fucking way" Christian comes up behind me and puts his hands lovingly on my shoulders

" Yes. Anastasia and I are dating" He declares alost smugly. Elliot's face is like thunder. He starts pacing the room, kicking the couch beside him. He spins back round and glares at me

" My fucking brother!" He shouts

" My fucking best friend. 3 months" I scream back at him. I am sure there is steam coming out of my ears. How fucking dare he. We continue to stare each othe out, both of our chest heaving with rage

" Making your way through the Grey family are we, who's next? My dad?" That was a direct hit to the gut. Christian lunges at him and I try my best to restrain him

" Christian. No!"

" I never thought you would do this to me Ana"

" Yeah well ditto" Elliot growls and storms out. I suspect he was expecting me to wither and plead for his forgiveness, sorry pal but you are the one who should be on your knees. I am not ashamed of Christian and i won't be bullied into being so. I collapse in Christian's arms and sob. I get that he is angry but he didn't have to be so mean. We need to have this out now, no more waiting about. I steady myself, grab my purse and jacket and head for the door

" Ana where are you going?"

" To find Elliot" I murmur

" The fuck you are!"

" This needs to end now. We are never going to feel comfortable in this relationship unless I get some answers. I need closure I think" He gingerly strolls towards me and i place my hands on his shoulders to balance myself. I plant a lingering kiss to his cheek, a mutual understanding sliently passes between us.

I search everywhere for Elliot. His apartment, the offices at his construction company, the bars we used to hang out in, even Kate's apartment. Our relationship was always fiery, we either fought like cat and dog or fucked away our problems. In hindsight, it was probably not the best but it worked for us at least i thought it did. After every argument Elliot would take off and I would have to run after him. That's when it hits me, I know where he is. He would always run to the same place. This small spot by Aiki beach. He claims it helps to calm him and clear his mind. I jump in my Beetle, Wanda, and head that way.

I see a figure sitting on a grass mound overlooking the beach. I make my way over, wrapping my jacket tighter around me trying to conserve some body heat. Elliot doesn't turn round but senses my presence. He takes another swig from his bottle of whiskey

" How did you find me?"

" Come on Elliot. You always come here when we argue. At least this is where I thought you were now i know you were making yourself feel better by sticking your cock in my best friend" I snipe. Elliot stands in front of me

" And now you doing the same with my brother"

" It's not the same and you know it, you sanctimonious dick!"

" Ana..." His eyes soften but mine water. All of my hurt and angry comes spilling out.

" I trusted you! I loved you! I thought you were the one! You have destroyed me!" I pound my fists into his chest with every word. He tries to hold me but I continue my tirade " I thought you were different, the famous Elliot Grey wouldn't dream of doing this but you have, you used me then tossed me aside for a better model. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." Pushing away from him I sink to my knees. The sea breeze stinging my damp face

" I'm sorry, I'm so so so so sorry" He joins me on the floor. Whispering his apology. I blank him out, I don't believe he is sincere.

" Tell me about the two of you"

" Ana, Kate has already told you" he sighs

" So you have spoken to her then. You told Christian she was ignoring you" _More lies!_

" Kate rang me after she left the apartment. She briefly told me about the encounter and that I should stay away from her"

" How noble of her" I scoff " Did you ever love me?"

" Of course I did!" He says it like its the obvious answer " You have to believe me when I say I didn't seek her out. I was totally in love with you, still am" _Ha!_" We tried to stop so many times but always gave in, she has this hold over me"

" Do you love her?"

" Yes" Elliot whispers.

" I don't understand it Elliot. Why didn't you just break up with me?"

" I don't know. I didn't want to, I was selfish. You are the kindest, most loving person Ana. You are beautiful, intelligent, sexy and I abused your trust. I will never forgive myself for that"

" I will never forgive you either" We sit in silence, watching the waves flow in and out.

" So your moving on with my brother?" It's crunch time

" Yes"

" I want to kill him Ana"

" Stop being so over dramatic. He is your brother, it doesn't matter what goes on you love each other"

" Oh I love the man who stole my girlfriend, I don't think so"

" He didn't steal me. You broke us Elliot. You did this. Stop blaming everybody else and take some responsibility. " I refrain from telling him about how our relationship started. It will only destroy them more and I am trying to salvage what I can

" I don't want to see you guys together"

" Your in no position to start making demands. I will not be held to ransom. Christian and I are together. Deal with it"

" In that case, I can flaunt Kate around" That was a seriously low blow.

" Why!? Why are you trying to hurt me even more?. Haven't you done enough" I can't stand him any longer. I get up and walk away

" Ana wait, I'm sorry. I can't stop it from coming out of my big mouth"

" This is done. Its exhausting. You have every right to be angry with us, but I will not sit around and be insulted. Go be with Kate. Fuck half of Seattle if you want, see if i care. It's no longer my business. Just do one thing for me please Elliot?"

" Anything"

" Don't shut Christian out."

I climb into my car, take one last look at my past. I need to leave all this shit behind, right here at the beach. If Christian and I are ever going to make it i will have to learn to trust again. I want to do that for him, i can see myself falling head over heels in love with him. As i drive off, i feel refreshed. The toxic people in my life have been removed and it feels liberating. As turn off the ignition once i have reached Jose' apartment, i check my phone. I know for certain Christian has been trying to reach me. Sure enough i have 23 missed calls and 5 voicemails _My control freak is in full fifty mode. _i dial his number and he answers on the 3rd ring

"Baby?"

" I hope you looked at the caller ID and you don't just call everybody that" i giggle and i can sense his smile

"Nope that name is reserved for only you"

"Happy to hear it Mr Grey. So what was so important that it warranted 23 missed calls?"

"Are you deliberately being obtuse? i was worried"

"You need to stop all this worrying, it is very ageing. No but seriously i am fine, we shouted at each other, he apologised and i decided to have a fresh start"

"Oh yeah do i feature in this?"

" Your the main feature"

"Baby you have no idea how much i want that. What are you up to tonight Miss Steele?"

" Well i have a hot date with some big shot CEO"

"Sadly you are going to have cancel because little old Christian here wants to take you out"

" There is nothing little about you baby"

"Miss Steele! Who knew you had such a filthy mouth"

" Mr Grey if there is one person in this world who knows about my filthy mouth, its you. Play your cards right and you may get to hear it again"

" Now there's a proposition a man can't ignore. Be ready in an hour. Wear something sexy

" Yes Sir!"

"Anastasia" he moans

"You like that baby" i whisper

"You have no idea. I need to go before someone walks in and finds me sitting here with a massive hard on" i giggle and press my thighs together, the image of Christian's hard cock is making me squirm

" Control it baby" _How does he know?_

"See you later Christian" i say trying to sound unaffected

"Bye baby... Oh and Anastasia?

"Yeah"

" I can't wait to be inside you"

I groan. Ugh that man will be the death of me.

**A/N Hope you enjoyed xxx**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N I am kinda glad I got the Ana/Elliot confrontation out of the way. I think it's time to temporally leave the angst an enjoy some Ana/Christian lovin'**

**If any of you have twitter I am xoLiannexo. Just let me know who you are and I will defo follow you back **

I rush into Jose's apartment excited about my date with Christian. Not to mention I am more than a little aroused by our earlier phone conversation. He sure knows how to send me into a spin. The way my name rolls off his tongue sends shivers down my spin and inflames my desire for him in one swift precise hit, and he knows it. After all the drama of the day i am still surprised Christian wants to continue with us, I feel like i have cause nothing but problems but his want for me never falters and for that I only like him more.

I heave the giant suitcase full of my clothes up onto the bed in Jose's spare room. It really was nice of him to let me stay here, I know this must be a difficult situation I have put him in. Kate, Jose and I were always together in college, we were the three musketeers if you will. Christian isn't best pleased with the arrangement, the jealous protective side is in full flight. I understand his reticence towards my friend I am neither dumb or blind; I know Jose has feelings for me and I would never take advantage of that, our friendship is important to me and it is only that. Jose is more like a brother to me, he never approved of my relationship with Elliot and I guess that opinion doesn't differ in regards to Christian. The first meeting between the boys was awkward and strained, Christian constantly dismissing Jose and focusing all his attention on me. He says he doesn't like sharing what's his, even though that is unreasonable I like the fact he refers to me as his because I feel the exact same.

Throwing various items out of the cases, over my shoulder and across the room only results in my room looking like a bombs hit it and not a suitable outfit for tonight. Christian's demand rings loudly around my head _" Wear something sexy"._He deserves someone sexy, I want to do this for him. I skim through the dresses hanging on the door of the wardrobe and finally decided upon one; its a plum coloured, skin tight, knee length, sweetheart neckline dress. Originally I dismissed the dress completely but my mother forced me to try it on and I fell in love. This dress gives me curves I didn't know i have, it enhances my breasts dramatically and it's pencil skirt-like bottom gives my hips some much needed definition. I pair this with the only designer item I own, a pair of sky high Louboutins. My Christmas present from Elliot, I love my shoes regardless of whom gifted them. I free my hair from the ponytail I've had it in all day, the long brown curls flow down and settle along the curves of my breasts. Looking in the mirror I smile, you wanted sexy Mr Grey you've got it. I am just putting the finishing touches to my look, a pair of diamond earrings, when Jose enters and his mouth falls open

" Shit Steele you look gorgeous" His eyes take a leisurely roam down my body which makes me shift uncomfortably.

" Thanks Jose. You got any plans for this evening?" I ask desperately trying to change the subject.

" Just heading to a new gallery downtown, getting the scoop on the competition you know how it is" Jose is a highly skilled photographer, he was always taking candid shots of Kate and I when we were in college

" Sounds like fun!" He clears a space on the bed and sits down

" So where is Mr Moneybags taking you tonight?"

" Jose!" I chastise " Just try and get along with him. Please"

" Fine Ana but he has a major attitude problem" I am about to defend Christian when the man himself texts me to let me know he is outside waiting.

" Look I don't have time to discuss this now. I have to go." I grab my clutch and walk carefully to the door. Sky high Louboutin's and my clumsiness is not a great mix. As I make my way to the car, I see Christian leaning against it. He is dressed in a grey suit, the pants hanging off his hips in the most alluring way, a crisp white shirt with the top two buttons undone, teasing me with a slight glimpse at his rock hard chest. I want him now. Here. He effortlessly glides over to me and plants his lips upon mine. I groan with need and pull him closer to me, feeling his erection in my lower stomach

" I know I said sexy Ana but this is" his hands greedily grab at my body " but this is beyond" I giggle at him and bite my lip

" You like Mr Grey?" I say batting my eyelashes innocently at him, he cups my ass and firmly squeezes

" Oh you bet, we better get going now before i lose all control and take you right here" the lust in his eyes is fierce. He ushers me into the car and climbs in beside me

" Where are we going?"

" You will have to wait and see"

We drive through the streets of Seattle as I try to figure out where we are heading. Christian has a hold of my hand gently brushed my knuckles with his thumb, neither of us speak we just travel in comfortable silence.

" Baby?" I face him and he pulls out a blindfold from his suit jacket. He points towards the window indicating that I should look that way. I do so and he ties the blindfold around my eyes. " no peaking Miss Steele" he warns

The car suddenly stops and I feel Christian climb out, he opens my door and gently guides me out of the SUV and over what I can only assume is a ramp. I can smell the sea breeze and hear the gush of the waves. Christian circles my body so that he is now behind me and removes the blindfold. I blink to adjust to light and I realise where I am. Christian has bought me on to the most luxurious yacht. We are standing on the deck which had been decorated with twinkling fairly lights, there is a table for two set up in the corner and rose petals are scattered everywhere. Tears fill my eyes. This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever done for me.

" Dinner is served baby" Christian whispers in my ear. I lean back into his embrace and savour this moment. Christian's arms tighten around me as we watch the Seattle skyline disappear before us as we sail off.

" Thank you Christian. This is perfect"

" You are perfect Ana." I turn my head and press my lips to his. In one rapid movement I am swept up into his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist, and whisked through to a bedroom.

He lowers me to the floor and caresses the curve of my ass

"I've wanted to take the dress off from the moment i laid eyes on you" He unzips my dress almost so slow its almost painful. He has hardly touched me yet but my panties are already soaking wet. Once my dress is off , he moves his attention to my underwear. He unclasps my bra and flings it so it lands on the bedside lamp. I giggle at this show of accuracy. _Mmmm_ s_o many useful talents C_hristian picks me up once more and places me on my back on the bed then proceeds to hook his long fingers into my panties and drags them down my slender legs. When he licks his lips i spread my legs further apart, silently inviting him.

Oh no Miss Steele, as much as i would like to sample your delights i have much bigger plans for you" Christian discards of his clothing, giving me my own personal striptease. _I am one lucky lucky lady. This man is mine and i am his, heart and soul. _

"Stand up" I quickly hop of the bed and he sits where i was.

" Turn around and put your arms behind your back" I do so and Christian grabs the belt from my robe and ties my hands together, this arches my back and pushes my breast out. He spins me to face him and groans at the sight. Christian runs his hands up my legs, across my stomach until he reaches my nipples. They are already standing to attention. I close my eyes, the sensation is incredible. He pinches, twists, sucks and flicks. I am about to come just from this when he stops. I open my eyes to find him sitting back, stroking himself. His hand is gliding seamlessly up and down the shaft of that glorious cock. I can't help but bite my lip and moan. I can feel my juices dripping down my thighs, he swipes his finger along the trail and sucks it. This man, this Adonis like being finds me that attractive. I do this to him. Sitting grabbing his erection he shifts up to the pillows and lays down.

" Hop on baby" He boyishly grins and at me and I squeal jumping up and over to him. He grabs my hips with one hand and positions himself so that my entrance hovers over him. I can't wait any longer and I sink down onto him. We both let out the loudest groan.

" Fuck baby, you so tight you feel so good around me"

" You like that Christian, you like being deep inside me?"

" It's my favourite place in the entire world baby" I start to move. As my hands are tied behind my back, Christian is guides me by the hips as I bounce on his cock.

" You look so sexy riding me" he moans

" Your big cock feels so good deep inside my pussy baby" I'm not usually one for dirty talk but this is seriously hot. I am so close, I increase my speed as Christian thrust up to meet me and swivels his hips

" Yesss Christian" I continue to move as I ride my organs out. Christian sits up so that we are nose to nose and I loop my tied arms around his neck the best i can. He bites my bottom lip and thrusts rapidly. I am building to another climax again, when I feel it. I huge smack lands of my ass. It doesn't sting like I thought it would. He managed to catch the right spot between my thighs. Christian is looking at me waiting for a reaction

" Again"

A dirty smile spreads across his face, he pulls out , lifts me by the waist and places me on the bed on my front.

" Tell me to stop if it gets too much" I nod and he spanks me again. And again. This seems to be his thing and apparently mine because I am so aroused. I spread my legs further and he hits me catching my throbbing clit. I come all over his hand, gripping the sheets and screaming his name. I am still climaxing when he pulls me up so I am leaning on my knees. He enters from behind, thrusts deeply a few times then comes spurting thick amounts of his seed inside me.

" That was the best sex I've ever had" I declare. He is still semi hard inside of me. He eases out gingerly and bite my lip at the feel of him slipping wetly out of me

" Shit" he says roughly " I want you again" Laughter erupts from the both of us. Christian unties my wrists and carries me into the adjoining bathroom. He places my limp, sated body on the counter and proceeds to clean me and his softening cock.

Christian stands back and leans on the wall staring at me. I am naked and displaying what i am guessing is very unattractive just fucked hair.

" I wish I had met you sooner. My life would have been completely different". The boat slowly rocks as we continue to gaze at each other

"How so?"

" My life has been one big control exercise but with you i am able to relax. What are you doing to me Ana?" Christian looks utterly perplexed. I jump off from my perch and hug him. My head leaning on his chest, the chest hair tickling my cheek

" Probably the exact same you are doing to me Christian. You are healing me" We stand there just holding each other for a while until my stomach interrupts us with a grumble making us both break out with laughter

"Come baby. Lets eat!"

**A/N Thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N** **I aplologise for the lack of updates over the past few days, life has been pretty hectic. To make up for it here is a long chapter. I have moved the time along a bit and the bit in Italics is a flashback**

**Thanks once again for all the reviews, follows and favourites. **

I climb onto the treadmill and start at a frantic past. It's been a month since Christian and I started officially dating and my workouts have been severely suffered as a consequence, although our extremely active sex life has softened the blow somewhat. The machine I am currently pounding is courtesy of ones over protective and green-eyed boyfriend. I just happened to casually comment on my lack of gym usage recently in an email session and I suggested that we postpone our plans for dinner that evening so that I could squeeze in an hour or so. Christian literally blew his stack and forbade me. His reasoning being he didn't want my half naked sweaty body in a room for an hour with men oogling me, he apparently had to endure watching the entire male popularity trying to get in my panties every single day which is utterly ridiculous. I don't think I have even been so angry and insulted,i don't need some man to dictate how i live my life. It resulted in me rebelling like a hormonal teenager and repling swiftly stating firmly that I would be heading to my gym and he shouldn't try to stop me. That night I rushed home to collect some workout clothes, as I hadn't actually planned to go but now was just to prove a point, I opened my front door only to be confronted by a brand spanking new treadmill situated in the corner of the apartment with a note attached

*** enjoy baby***

The old cliche mantra " New year, New me" is very apt. As well as a new boyfriend and apartment I have recently found a job. It's a small publishing house, SIP, located in downtown Seattle. It's perfect for me, their main focus is not about exploiting authors but trying to discover new talent and supporting the underdog. I fell in love with the job immediately

* * *

_"Anastasia Steele?" _

_My stomach flips at the sound of my name. Today is my interview at SIP. The job is everything I could ever dream of, this is what I envisaged when I pick my degree. Over the past few weeks I have attended interview after interview but nothing stood out, i suppose nothing could ever compared to idea of this. I stand and smooth down the black pencil skirt and white shirt. I button up my fitted blazer and take a deep breath trying desperately to calm my erratic nerves. Christian doesn't understand why I am so anxious about this meeting, he has been trying to persuade me for days to join GEH. That is never going to happen, I swear sometimes i feel a tad suffocated by his control issues. He tried his hardest to convince me that the only reason he offered me the job was because I would flourish and be an assets to his company, when in actual fact he just wants to keep an eye on me at all times and he hates the fact I will be spending time away from him. As much as I love that he cares so much about me I need some independence, I need to do this for myself. I follow the woman who called my name into a cluttered office, the total opposite of Christian's this has character whereas his is cold and clinical, seated behind a worn brown desk is a 30 something man. _

_"Jack, your 1 o'clock appointment is here" the woman ushers me in and closes the door. The man tightens his ponytail and rises from the chair _

_" Hi I'm Jack Hyde and you are..." He glances down at the notepad on the desk" Anastasia Steele"_

_" Yes thats me sir, nice to meet you" he offers his hand and I gladly take it_

_" Please take a seat" Jack waves a hand in the direction of the chairs in front of him" I'm very pleased you choose to apply here, I was just reading your application. It's very impressive" _

_" Thank you Sir. I must say I am very thankful you offered me an interview, from what i have already witnessed SIP is exactly where I want to be"_

_" I'm very happy to hear that" Jack smiles at me and runs a finger along the his bottom lip. _

_The interview lasted an hour or so and aside from the mandatory questions, it's unlike any I've ever experienced. Jack is relaxed and very un-boss like; we discuss in great detail our favourite authors and books, mine of course being the British classics I have spent my whole life emersing in. Jack explains what my job involves which at the moment is only to be his assistance but he stresses that chances of promotion are extremely common especially for someone with my GPA and passion. _

_" Well Anastasia it's been a pleasure to meet you" he stands and heads towards the door._

_" Likewise" I shake his hand again. He tenderly squeezes and places his free hand over our conjoined ones " I look forward to hearing from you" _

_" Oh I think that is a very possible likelyhood" Jack smiles and leads me to the elevators. As he pushes the call button, we hear a female voice shouting his name. A very attractive woman who strangely looks very similar to me comes bounding towards us, her chesnut hair billowing in her wake._

_" Lelia, I would like you to meet Anastasia Steele. She is a candidate for the assistant job. Anastasia this is one of Seattle's up and coming illustrators and incidentally my fiancée Lelia" The woman politely smiles at me but it doesn't meet her eyes. She quickly shakes my hand_

_" Nice to meet you, Jack could i have a moment please. In private"_

_" Sure. Miss Steele, we will be in touch within the next few days." I nod and the pair briskly walk into a spare conference room and close the door. _

_The doors of the elevator open and i move to the back just behind a woman reading one of those celebrity magazines. I can't believe how well my interview went, I am fairly confident I nailed it. This year may have started out on a bad foot but is getting better all the time. I lean back onto to the wall and my eyes wander to the magazine the woman is reading. Kate used to buy them weekly and they would be scattered all over the apartment, i really have no interest in it all however thanks to her untidiness I do have an idea of who; Taylor Swift is currently dating and subsequently what her next song will be about, I know what diet Victoria Beckham, Jessica Simpson and Selena Gomez are on AND I can name all the Kardashian's. She flips the page and my breath hitches. There in huge font at the top the page _

_CHRISTIAN GREY'S MYSTERY WOMAN _

_I try my hardest to peer over the shoulder of the woman but she is considerably taller than me with her 6 inch heels. The ding of elevator chimes and the doors rush open and we exit into the lobby. I need to find this article. Across the street I spot a magazine stand and hurry towards it. Practically barging a man out of the way I grab the offending piece and search for the page. The picture dominating the spread is of Christian and I aboard his yacht. The photographer is clearly some distance away as our faces are blurred and consealed by the dark._

_" What's that we can hear? It must be the sound of hearts breaking all across America. Yes as our exclusive pictures show, the incredibly gorgeous Christian Grey seems to be officially off the market. We were shocked when these pictures landed on our desk, Grey's private life has always been just that. The 27 year old billionaire is seen here with a attractive mystery brunette, the pair boarded Grey's Luxury yacht The Grace for a romantic date. Christian couldn't keep his hands off his girl oftenshowering her with kisses and holding the woman close . For many this will come as a shock, there have been no evidence of previous women in his life, so much so that rumours have been circulating for years now that businessman is gay. So who is the lucky lady that has captured the heart of one of The United States most eligable bachelors? Whoever she is we are extremely jealous and already obsessed with the newest A list couple. "_

_Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! _

_We have been trying to keep this quiet. After all the mess at Christmas we needed some time away to get to know each other. What is Grace going to say about this? She already thinks i am some kind of golddigger. I pull out my phone and call Christian _

* * *

I slow down the speed of the treadmill . That night Christian and I decided to tell our families about us before the press finally get a hold of my name. The idea of the media hunting me down and " exposing" me fills me with dread, I just want a normal life but that's not going to happen when you are dating THE Christian Grey. We haven't been able to arrange a time to meet his family as i got the job at SIP and it has taken over my life. I love it so much I leap out of bed every morning raring to go, this being totally out of character too say i'm not a morning person is the understatment of the year. I may be at the bottom of the todem pole but I am willing to work my way up and one day hopefully become editor. My new colleagues have welcomed me with open arms and made me feel really comfortable, even inviting me on the weekly night outs of which there is one today. I turn up the volume on the TV as CSI New York is on. Kate never let me watch it, which is another reason why I love my new apartment so much. I don't have to be considerate of anyone else except when Christian is round. Speaking of which the buzzer rings and his husky, sexy voice fills the room

" Anastasia it's me. Let me up" I switch the treadmill off and open the door for him. Christian strolls in like he owns the place and his eyes cloud with lust when he spots me in my workout gear. He points to the treadmill behind his body, never taking his gaze off me

" Best. Purchase . Ever if that's what you wear to the gym" I roll my eyes and chug down the bottle of water. Christian has come straight from the office meaning is dressed in one of his super sexy suits, this particular one is my favourite. Grey.

" I bought us some dinner"

" Christian I don't have time to eat, I only have an hour and half to get ready"

" Ana you are not going out drinking without having something to eat. Sit"

" I need to shower"

" Sit!" He glares at me. Clearly he isn't in a mood to be messed with. I huff and reluctantly take a seat at the breakfast bar. Christian unpacks the take out boxes and plates up

" Italian alright?"

" Doesn't look like i have much choice does it Mr Grey?" he arches his eyebrow but doesn't speak. We sit in silence and eat. I don't know why he is here if he is just going to be in bad mood.

" Bad day at work" I ask only to break the tension

" You could say that "

" You wanna talk about it?"

" Not particularly"

" Then do you wanna snap out of this mood"

" What mood?" I tilt my head at him

" Sorry" Christian squeezes my thigh " So where are you heading tonight"

" Some bar the guys from work always go to. It's called Maises I think"

" How many of you"

" I don't know. Jack and his fiancée, Claire from Reception and a few more people I don't know that well.

" Jack's going?"

" Yeah. Is that a problem now too?"

" Too right it is"

" Why!?" I drop my knife and fork and it clatters as it hits the china

" I don't like him Ana"

" You have never met him Christian!"

" I know enough. The man is a sleeze"

" How could you possible know that"

" I have my ways"

" What does that mean?"

" It means I needed to know that you would be safe. The thought of you in any kind of danger scares the fuck out of me"

" And?"

" And so I did a background check on him, the man has had 6 different assistants in 2 years, is that not a bit suspicious? plus there isn't any record of a fiancée. "

" Christian you can't do this. It's an invasion of privacy. I don't care why he has had so many different assistance, I like him and he always been nothing but respectful and professional towards me. And I have personally met his fiancée so i know she is real."

" Why are you defending him?"

" Because he is my boss and he hasn't done anything wrong. Not everyone is attracted to me, you need stop being so paranoid" There is a knock at the door and I know it can only be Taylor

" Come in"

" Sir, Miss Steele"

" Hey Taylor"

" Sorry to interrupt but could I speak with you Sir. It's urgent" Christian nods and walks out, shutting the door behind him. I hate when he is like this. Our relationship has been really good so far but there are moments like this when i realise we still don't know everything about each other. I am falling in love with this man and it scares me. Christian's Blackberry vibrates on the counter and I lean over to pick it up. The name Elena flashes on the screen. Just the mere sight of that name and the alarm bells go off. Christian said he would deal with her and because I haven't heard anything else I thought that he had. Curiosity gets the better of me and I open the message. _She has written an essay!_

**Christian**

**I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, that wasn't my intention. I only came by your office to offer my services. Anastasia isn't any good for you and you know it. What kind of woman cheats on her boyfriend with his brother. We have a long history and I care deeply for you and I know you feel the same way about me. I will let you get this out of your system and I will be here for you when it all falls apart**

**Christian you are changing yourself for her, you are denying your needs because you know she can't satisfy them. Don't do this. I know you cancelled our lunch on Tuesday but I will still attend if you change your mind.**

**Be careful**

**Elena**

I just finish reading when Christian re-enters looking stressed and concerned

"Ana?"

" Why can't I just have a normal relationship?" I murmur.

" Ana what's wrong?" He then notices the phone in my hand" What are doing with my Blackberry"

" The friend you care about so much just sent you a text" I hiss with venom

" What are talking about" he snatches it out of my hand and reads the message" I told her to fucking stay away!"

" I am going to get ready" I don't have the energy to fight. Maybe Elena is right, I'm not what he needs.

" You don't want to talk about this?" Christian asks bemused

" No. If what she is saying is true then there is nothing to discuss"

" It's not true Ana, baby she is just jealous of what we have and is hitting out"

" Christian" I sigh. Time to lay it all out on the table. " Being honest here, I am falling in love with you but if I am forcing you to be someone your not then this has no future. It seems once again the men in my life are keeping secrets from me. You told me you would deal with Elena and yet she seems to be more determined to cause a rift between us. What are these needs Christian? What services is she offering?"

" Baby don't let her destroy us. This means the world to me and I couldn't bear to lose you. Those needs are insignificant, you are what I need and I will not do anything to jepodise that. As for the changing me issue. You are Ana, for the better."

" That's all great Christian but do you know what screams out to me?"

" What baby?"

" The fact that I just told you I was falling in love and you completely glazed over it. I don't expect to hear it back but for you to disregard it like that hurts like a bitch"

" Ana I wasn't..." I cut him off

" Just leave Christian. I have to get ready"

" I don't think you should go out tonight" _Hell no!_

" Excuse me" I spit " You need to leave now. I will do what I damn well like. I am not your submissive!" He recoils in horror. _Why has that effected him so much?_ He picks up his belongings and I walk into my bedroom. Hearing the front door shut I release the breath I didn't know I was holding. The tears start to form, I thought he loved me back. He hasn't shown me any reason to think otherwise. Maybe I am just too blinded by my own feelings.

* * *

I don't even remember showering and changing. I just numbly get ready and head for the bar. We have been only dating for a month but my feelings for him are becoming all consuming. The thought of my life without Christian is an excuriticatingly painful one.

The bar isn't as busy as I thought it would be and I can easily see the group. Claire from reception is the first to greet me

" Ana" she squeals. Claire reminds me so much of Mia " Wow you look amazing!"

I look down at my outfit; a pair of ripped leggings, a grey loose fitting tank top, my black blazer and some black heeled studded boots. My hair is down and my make-up in minimal. I was too pre occupied to put any effort in althought it looks like I instinctively make quite good fashion choices.

" Thanks Claire. Sorry I'm late guys"

" Don't worry about it Ana. What you having to drink?" Jack asks from behind me

" Oh hey Jack. Um just whatever everyone else is drinking, Where's Lelia?"

" Beer it is then! She couldn't make it tonight, apparently something was more important"

I take the empty seat by Claire and immediately regret it

" Are you ok Ana? you look kinda upset"

" I'm fine Claire. Just not feeling too good" I lie

" Oh don't feel the need to stay. We all would understand"

" It's ok. It's good for me to be out right now" I know Claire isn't convinced by my lie but she accepts it.

The night drags on. I have lost count of how many times i have been asked if i am enjoying the job and I give them the standard answer I have perfected. I am just not entirely there, my head and my heart is with Christian at Escala. What I wouldn't give to be there will him now. I check my phone for the first time since I asked him to leave, there are 20 missed calls and one text. That is odd. I open it and a loud gasp escapes my lips

*** I love you too***

" Ana are you ok?" Jack worriedly asks, stroking my arm. All eyes are on me and I can feel the blush spread across my pale face

" Yes. Er sorry excuse me for a minute" I leave the table and sit on an empty one by the window. I dial Christian's number and wait anxiously for him to answer

"Grey"

" Hey, it's me"

"Ana! Are you ok?"

" Did you mean it" he knows straight way what I am referring to

" Yes I meant it" my bottom lip starts to tremble

" Please don't just say what you think I want to hear." I whisper

" Baby of course I love you, you just caught me off guard thats all. And honestly i am struggling with how strong my feelings are for you. To hear you say you love me means more than you will ever know. I don't deserve your love but you have given it to me and for that I will forever be yours."

" Of course you deserve love Christian. Why in the world would you think your not entitled to it?"

" I don't think now is the time to discuss my fucked up life baby"

" Tell me when Christian because you have to let me in at some point."

" I will baby"

" Tomorrow" i demand and he laughs

" We aim to please Miss Steele. Ok tomorrow. You having a good time?"

" It's been kinda shitty. My hearts really not into. What are you doing?"

" Oh you know, out and about. This and that."

" Your here aren't you?"

" Maybe"

" Whereabouts?"

" In the car down the street"

" How long?"

" About 2 hours. Taylor is awfully bored"

"Your stalker tendencies know no bounds" I giggle " Come in here Mr BigShot, it's time I introduced my boyfriend"

" Really your ready for that? because as soon as we do this there is no more hiding"

" Christian. Get in here."

" Alright, alright I'm coming. Ana?"

" Hmm"

" I love you"

" I lov..."

Gunshots

Glass smashing

Screaming

Darkness

" ANA!"

**A/N *hides* Sorry!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N I'm really glad you all enjoyed the last chapter, apologise again for the cliffhanger but I can't promise it won't happen again :D**

**Warning: This isn't a happy chapter! It's about to get emotional**

**Christian POV**

_Gunshots_

_Glass smashing _

_Screaming _

_Darkness_

_" ANA!_"

I scream her name at the top of my lungs. My precious Anastasia.

I bolt out of the SUV and sprint up the street towards the bar. There is glass shattered everywhere and injured people stumbling out crying. I vaguely register Taylor behind me but my priority right now is finding Ana. Sirens are blaring through the night sky, police and ambulance lights wizz past me at lightening speed. I didn't see the shooter at all, my eyes were trained on Ana sitting at the table by the window. _Fuck! She was right in the firing line_. She has to be ok, I can't lose her. I need her. She is my more. My future.

I barge my way through the crowds of people exiting the entrance of the bar, some are holding up those covered in blood, most are just running to safety. Hysteria is rife. As I enter the building the mix of smoke, alcohol and blood hits me like a wreaking ball and I can't stop my eyes from darting around every direction hoping to see Ana unharmed and probably helping somebody instead of thinking about her own safety. The rising panic is disorientating and I take a minute to calm down, my heart is racing and sound is blurred. It is then when my attention is drawn by a unfamiliar woman's voice screaming by the window. _Ana!_

" Please somebody help!" Her face is ashen and my gaze travels down to the hand on the lifeless person's stomach, trying to stem the out pour of blood. I feel myself pale. I would recognise that perfect body from anywhere; I've spent the past month studying and memorising every inch, worshipping the way it feels and moves, the body on the floor keeps me warm at night and owns my heart and soul. I rush over ignoring the crunch of the glass under my feet and drop down beside her

" Ana, baby I'm here" I stroke the bloodied hair off her forehead and I reach for her hand, tightly squeezing

" Chris..tian" she breathlessly murmurs, her bewitching blue eyes pleading " Help me"

A single tear falls from her eyes and its enough to break my own floodgates

" Oh baby. Help is coming I promise" I look and see Taylor hovering, his hand covering his mouth in shock " Where's that fucking ambulance!?"

" They are here sir, just trying get through the chaos"

" I don't give a shit. She needs help NOW!" Taylor scurries off and i turn back to Anastasia. The lights from the cars outside allow me to witness the extend of the damage. Her tank top is soaked in blood, the arm of the hand I am holding is embedded all the way down with shards of broken glass, she obviously hit her head on fall from the table as there is a blood pool forming and her delicate, angelic face is marred with cuts and bruises. I close my eyes and pray this is all I dream.

" Christian I'm tired" Her eyelids start to close

" No baby. Stay awake. Look at me" I sob. She does so and I see the terror and pain. " You have fight ok, you can't leave me. Please don't leave me"

She lets go of my hand and cups my cheeks, wiping away the stream of tears " I love you Christian"

" I love you too sweetheart, more than you ever know. So you have to stay awake okay!. We are going to live a long and happy life, we are going to get married and have babies. You are going to become a famous editor ruling the publishing world" I press my forehead against hers

" That sounds good" she wearily smiles up at me and i kiss her tenderly " It hurts so bad Christian. I just want it to go away. No. More. Pain" I feel her body go limp

" ANA! WHERE'S THE FUCKING MEDICS?!" I screech and two paramedics dash over

" Please move out of the way Sir"

" No way I'm not leaving her"

" Please Sir, let us do our job" I move fractionally away my eyes firmly trained on Ana

" Can you tell us who she is Sir?"

" Anastasia Steele, she's my girlfriend"

" Ok and how old is she?"

" 21"

" We have a 21 year old female, suffering from 3 gunshot wounds, lacerations to the face and arms and a possible fracture to the skull" one of the paramedics reports into his colleague. Tugging on my shoulder catches my attention and I spin to find Taylor looking angry

" Sir we have to vacate the building"

" Im not leaving her Taylor"

" You don't have a choice sir, the police are clearing the place"

" What part of I'm not fucking leaving didn't you understand!"

" I get it Mr Grey I really do, but they are trying to secure the premises" I glance back and see more paramedics swarming the scene. Ana is prepped and is being lifted onto a board and carried out to the ambulance. I run after them and grab her hand. She is dazing in and out of consciousness.

The scene outside is a frantic one. Emergency services scattered everywhere, the crowd being held at bay by police tape, innocent by-standers look on in horror. Ana is placed onto a bed and wheeled into the bus, I am about to jump in when I am stopped

" Im sorry sir but there isn't enough room in there for you"

" Excuse me! Look that is my girlfriend in there and if you don't want to find yourself out of a job by the morning I suggest you make room for me. I am a huge benefactor for this hospital and my mother is a senior member of the medical staff." The man visibly retreats before me and and lowers his head. I know I shouldn't pull my weight but I need to be near her, I'm sure she would chastise me for my behaviour. What I would give to hear her smart mouth now Who is going to put me in my place if she dies... _Stop don't think like that! _

" I'll follow behind in the car Christian" Taylor informs me

" Ok. Oh and Taylor, call my mother"

* * *

The journey to the hospital is the worst 20 minutes of my life. Ana is losing too much blood, her heart rate continues to dip at a dangerous speed . I am gripping onto her hand like my life depends on it because it does. I am nothing without her. Ana strolled into my life with her beauty and intelligence and brightened it. She brought colour, love and hope. Nothing else matters when we are together

" Please Ana" I whisper " Fight"

We reach the hospital and Ana is rushed down the halls by doctors and nurse shouting medical jargon, I have no idea what it means but I know it's not good, and into the emergency room. I am left in their wake. Alone is the empty corridor. I fall to my knees and let out a heart wrenching scream. I've lost her. I know I have.

A familiar scent fills my lungs and warm comforting arms wrap around my neck

" Shhh Christian" my mother rocks me and i fall into her embrace, clutching her so tight I'm guessing its hurting. I don't care that she is touching me right now, all I want is someone to hold me

" Mom she's dying. I need her. I love her" I cry loudly. Grace strokes my hair and kisses my forehead

" I've got you baby boy. Shhh I'm here" this only encourages my tears. We haven't spoke an awful lot since Christmas but here she is, by my side. We continue to sit on the hard tiled floor as I sob.

" Dr Trevelyn Grey?" We look up to find a male nurse i recognise from when we first came in. He is dressed in scrubs, stained with Ana's blood. " You phoned ahead asking to be assigned to Miss Steele. We are ready for you in surgery"

" Thank you John"

My mother. The angel. If there is one person I trust more than Ana in this world its Grace.

" Save her Mom"

" I will try my best Christian. You have my word" She presses a lingering kiss to my cheek and stands. The male nurse offers his hand to help me up and i nod politely. They walk down the hall, John briefing Mom on Ana's condition.

It's been 2 hours since Ana went into surgery. Every time the doors swing open, my heart skips a beat. I ask countless times about what's happening. I try every tactic in the book; threats, bribery, being nice, begging all falling on deaf ears. Pacing the halls of the hospital I pass the chaplaincy. Intrigue draws me inside. The room is small and mustard coloured. There are five rows of pews on each side all facing a huge portrait hanging on the wall, a statue of Jesus on an oak table is the centrepiece in front. I take a place 3 rows in and close my eyes. I have never been one for religion but right now I will try just about anything.

" I'm not really sure how this works but here goes. I know I have done some bad things in my life, awful in fact. I put my parents through hell over the years; I was a wild, out of control teenager trying to find a way to tolerate touch, figuring out why I was so different from everybody else, dealing with the rejection from my birth mother. I took it out on those I love the most. Man the shit I put them through but they have always been there for me, like now my mother is in there saving the woman I love.

Elena is another story. She taught me control. She gave me an outlet for my anger and frustrations. Being a dominant allows me to separate from real life, in that headspace I have complete power over everything. That was until Ana. I always thought that kind of relationship wasn't for me, it was for people who deserve love and happiness. I am a monster, I don't do hearts and flowers. Well that was before. Ana makes me want to do that stuff; I want to give her the world, protect her from the evils, I envisage a life that was alien to me. I know how our relationship started was wrong, she was my brothers girlfriend and I am sorry for that but he didn't appreciate her, he wouldn't have cheated if he did.

Please don't take her away from me. I will do anything. I promise to try my best to make her happy for the rest of her life. I will cherish and adore her. Uphold her dreams. Take care of her when she is sick and celebrate her successes. Give me my angel back.

Amen"

A tissue is presented in front of me and I turn to find Kate sobbing beside me

" When did you come in?"

" Just now" I accept her tissue and attempt to wipe away the tears. Failing as they are still falling rapidly.

" What are you doing here Kate?"

" I was coming out from an appointment when I saw you guys rush past. How bad Christian?"

" Bad. Really bad"

" Oh god. No" I run my hand through my hair and slowly take some deep breaths. We sit in silence, both of us contemplating this god awful situation

" You guys are dating huh?"

" Yeah. How did you know?"

" Christian it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work it out. I saw the way you looked at each other on Christmas Day. You have been inseparable ever since."

" So Elliot didn't tell you then?"

" No. I haven't spoken to him at all. I lost my best friend over Elliot. The worst mistake of my life and now she is lying there fighting for her life and I know I have no rights to be here. If she wakes up I can't hold her and tell her I love her because she hates me. I won't be able to help in her recovery. It's killing me"

" Yeah well you asked for it Kate. What do you expect?"

" I know. If I could go back and change it believe me when I say I would"  
Silence falls upon us once again. I know Ana needs Kate but she can't forgive, not that I blame her. I believe Kate when she says she is sorry but sometimes that just isn't enough.

" What happened Christian?"

" She was out with a group of friends from work. We had fight earlier she told me she loved me and i practically ignored it" Kate glares at me " Let me finish. She took me by surprise. We have been together a month, it's all going so fast but i don't want it to be any other way. I had been in a shitty mood and I stupidly took it out on her. Ana asked me to leave and I seriously thought it was the end. I have never experienced pain like it, until now obviously, on my way home I stopped by my therapist. We talked for ages, that man can talk some amount of mumbo jumbo, anyway I explained what happened and how feel when I am around Ana. He looked at me like he had just won the lottery" I sadly chuckle at the memory of Flynn's face " He exclaimed, and I quote " Christian I have been waiting for this day for years. The great Mr Grey is in love. I knew it would happen" i swear I wanted to punch the smug smile off his face"

Kate snorts. I don't know why I am telling her all this but I need to get it out.

" I tried to call her but she wasn't answering. Probably still mad. If anyone knows how stubborn Ana is its you. I sent her a text, a simple one but it contained the importance words. I told her i loved her. The thought of Ana in a bar surrounded by drunks was enough to make me sick with worry so I asked my security to drive me and we sat outside for 2 hours. I didn't catch one glimpse of her that whole time. I hoped she had gone home or not even turned up in the first place. It was then when I noticed Ana moving to sit by the window and my phone rang. That phone call was one of the best of my life but also my worst. We told each other how we felt, she was ready to go public. We were becoming a proper couple. That's when it all came crumbling down. I heard the glass smash and the screams. I heard Ana scream Kate" My eyes water once again " I heard my beautiful girl scream in pain and then line went dead. I should have been there to protect her, why didn't I just go straight into that bar when we arrived. It should be me on that operating table." Kate tries to comfort me by stroking my arm but its no use. The urge to find out what is going on powers through and I stand and shift past Kate

" I have to find out what's happening"

I race towards the operating doors and halt when I see my mother. She looks tired and her features are strained. Grace notices Kate behind me and her eyes darken with anger, this is neither the time or place for that and regardless of the drama I understand that Kate needs to be here.

" Christian sit down" she takes my elbow and leads me into a family waiting room. Kate tentively follows, extremely aware of the hostility emulating from Grave

" We have managed to remove all three bullets and stem the blood flow. That's the end of the good news I'm afraid. Son, some of Ana's internal organs were severely damaged and she lost an incredible amount of blood, she also suffered quite the blow to the head. Ana is stable but I cannot stress just how critical the next 24 hours are. Things don't look good, she is being taken down to Intensive Care as we speak. All we can do now is hope and pray she pulls through the night" I lean forward and hold my head in my hands while Grave runs her hands down my back.

" Thank you Mom" I whisper. " Can I see her" _I need to see her! _

" Not just yet. I will come and find you when she is ready for visitors. Remember Christian, she is in a coma. Prepare yourself" I can only nod. How do you prepare yourself to see the love of your life in a coma.

As Grace leaves, Taylor enters looking just as tired and worried.

" Christian, I took the liberty of informing Ana's father about her condition. He is on his way now" Fuck! I forgot about her parents. I'm such a selfish prick.

" Thank you Taylor. Can you fetch her mother's number too. I should call her personally"

" Sure Mr Grey"

" Oh and Taylor? I want to know how the investigation is going. This bastard needs to be caught. I want to know everything. Call Welch, Ros anyone, use some of your contacts in the force. Just get me some answers. Somebody is going to pay for this."

" Consider it done boss" he strides out with new determination

Kate is sitting silently in the corner, I had forgotten she was here.

" I need some air, you should get some rest. I forgot to ask, what was your appointment for?"

She shifts uncomfortably in the chair, avoiding eye contact " Oh nothing important. Just a check up"

* * *

I push through the large swing doors and into the night. The cold air supplying much needed relief to my on coming headache. Ana's prognosis is bad and now I have to explain all this to her parents. Her mom lives in Georgia I think I will send the company plane to bring them, they should get here mid morning. I am meeting her parents for the first time in the worst possible circumstance. We should be telling them about us together, showcasing our love. Instead I have to inform them that their daughter may die.

I watch as a figure approaches out of the darkness. Dressed in an oversized grey hoodie, a pair of leggings and hair piled up into a scruffy bun on top of her head, my baby sister comes barrelling towards me, flinging her arms around my neck.

" Ana will pull through this. She won't leave you Christian" Mia whispers into my neck and i tighten my hold on her.

Whoever is responsible for this better be running scared because when I find out who they are I will tear them apart.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N So as some of you who follow me on Twitter already know i've hit a slight writer's block in so much that i know what i want to write but the words aren't coming to me but i am pushing through. I have to say the last chapter has been my favourite to write so far and i'm glad you all approved!**

**Christian POV**

It's 5am and the nights events still seem so surreal. I can't wrap my head around it all. One minute everything was perfect, the next it's all holding on by a thread. I am sitting beside Ana holding her hand and running my thumb over her knuckles like I always do, stupidly hoping in vain the familiar gesture will ignite something within her lifeless body and she will wake up and come back to me. This isn't going to happen anytime soon i know. I can't help but flinch at the sight of her lying in this hospital bed tied to the machines; tubes coming out of her body seem to multiply ever time I look at her, they are in her nose, mouth, arms. The bruises on her gorgeous face are become more prominent and her normal glossy hair is hidden behind bandages. The cuts on her arm from the glass have also received sitches. The room itself is completely still, the only noise is the horrifying noise of the heart machine bleeping away and the husk of oxygen mask. In spite of Ana's condition she looks like she is enjoying a peaceful sleep, her gloriously long eyelashes fanned over her bruised cheek.

Ana's father, Ray arrived a few hours ago. He walked into the hospital room and immediately his hand flew to cover his mouth whilst the other clutched his heart.

"_ Oh god" _

_" Mr Steele, I'm Christian" My innate businessman exterior comes out to play like a defensive mechanism. I extend my hand to him which he promptly takes_

_" Nice to meet you" He politely answers but is understandably distracted. His old blue eyes firmly on his daughters battered and sleeping frame_

_" wha...what happened?"_

_" She was out with some work friends when it happened. She was shot 3 times. My mother is her surgeon and said they managed to remove the bullets but she suffered some extensive internal damage" Ray's face pales_

_" Is she going to recover?" _

_I feel my bottom lip start to tremble and I run my hand through my already messed up hair " Honestly Ray, it's touch and go. She's in a bad way. In sorry, I'm so so sorry" _

_The taciturn older man cups my shoulder " it's not you fault son. My poor Annie." He shakes his head and maneuvers around me and takes the seat by Ana's bed. _

_" Hey Annie. What have you got yourself into now huh? Can't leave you alone for five minutes can I. " His voice starts to waver " Now you listen to your old dad Anastasia Rose Steele, you need to wake up okay. You hearing me because I can't live without my precious baby girl." _

_I feel like I'm am intruding on this intimate father-daughter interaction, even if it is one sided. So I make to leave and call Taylor and find out how the investigation is going. At least I can try and control that somewhat, also I want to able to reassure Ana's parents that whatever is needed to catch this monster is being done. _

_" Sorry to be rude but why are you here?. Where is Elliot?" It dawns on me that Ana and I hadn't got around to informing her parents about our relationship. In fact the only people that know is Elliot, my Mom, Kate and seemingly now Mia although I have no idea how she found out. _

_" My apologies Mr Steele. Um I am Ana's boyfriend" The shock on Ray's face is evident " I know that's the last thing you expected. We were planning on coming to visit but circumstance got in the way. Elliot and Ana broke up over Christmas, some serious stuff went down but that probably isn't my place to discuss." _

_"Wow that really is a surprise. I always thought Ana and Elliot were perfect for each other" I know he didn't mean it too but that was like a knife to the heart. The thought of another man being the center of Ana's universe is abhorrent to me._

_" Yeah well my brother was a huge jackass..."_

_" Wait you brother!?"_

_" Yes Sir, Elliot is my older brother"_

_" Wow this is one big mess isn't it. Do you think he has anything to do with this"_

_" absolutely not! Elliot isn't capable of something like this." Ray observes me, I feel like I am being judged. The heart monitor a starts to bleep more rapidly and I rush to her side_

_" Ana baby, can't you hear me. Squeeze my hand if you can baby" We wait with baited breath for some kind of sign, but nothing. Why doesn't she want to come back to me. I will do anything._

_" You really love her don't you"_

_"More than I care to admit"_

_" If I know my daughter as well as I think I do, I would say she feels the exact same way. She wouldn't have caused so much drama for something she didn't believe in with her heart and soul. Now I don't want to be the mean old dad here but when she wakes up you better take care of her, protect her and don't even think about hurting her." Ray's warning is stern_

_" You have my word. When she comes back to me I will do everything in my power to keep her safe and make sure she is loved more than anyone on this planet."_

_Ray and I are both quiet as we sit and wait for Ana to wake. __I never thought i needed approval from anyone but knowing i have Ana's father's fills me with a sense of sucess. _

* * *

_Ray and I are both quiet as we sit and wait for any kind of change. I rest my head on the bed against her hip just needing to be close. All of a sudden a high pitch scream fills the room and I leap up and stand instinctively to protect Ana. In the door way is a very distressed older woman being held up by a struggling female nurse asshe weeps _

_" No! My baby. Not my baby girl!" Ray rushes to her and holds her close _

_" Ray. Look at her."_

_" I know Carla shhh"_

_"This can't be happening" _

_Ray helps Carla over to Ana's bed and she flings herself onto her daughter. _

_I leave the room unable to stand the heartbreaking scenes. This is all too much. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and i pull it out_

_"Grey"_

_"Boss, its me"_

_"Yes Taylor"_

_"I managed to get a hold of one of my buddies who works for the cops, he informed me that there hasn't been many leads so far. The foresnic team have just finished at the bar and are processing their findings. CCTV from the surrounding premises have been obtained, that should help to provide an image of the shooter. They do have a theory that its not a solo act, this was well planned and looks like the work of a team. There is more bad news i'm afraid Mr Grey"_

_I sigh, of course there is. This is me "Go ahead"_

_"The police are certain that Miss Steele was in fact the intended target. She was the only severely injured patron and the shots were precise"_

_Somebody must have identified her from that fucking magazine article a few weeks back. Why does the connection to my name always cause so much drama. Ana was petrified when she saw her face plastered across the tabloids, albeit a blurred distorted face, and it took me ages to reassure her. _

_"Keep me updated Taylor. I want to know about every move, decision and action. i am going to increase our personal security as well. If this is what you say, a targeted attack, i am not going to risk Ana's safety again. I need the new men briefed and stationed at this hospital by tonight. You hear me Taylor?"_

_"Loud and clear Mr Grey. And... um hope you don't mind me asking but how is Miss Steele?"_

_"No change to report. Her parents are in with her now"_

_"Very well. I shall organise the new security ASAP" I hang up and return the phone to my pocket. As i do so Ray appears _

_"I'm just going to arrange some accomodation for Carla and I"_

_"Its on me Mr Steele?"_

_"No Christian, i can't accept that"_

_"Its not a problem Ray. Where is Carla's husband, Bob is it?"_

_"He recently suffered some heart trouble and is unable to fly"_

_" Thats a shame, i'm sure Carla could have used the support. Tell the hotel to put you guys under Grey. If they have a problem tell them to call me directly or GEH"_

_"Thanks for everything you are doing son, Ana will appreciate it"_

_"You are so important to her which makes you a priority to me." _

_I nervously re-enter the hospital room. Ana's mother Carla seems to have calm down and is now perched on the bed. She turns to look at me when the door creaks alerting her to my presence_

_"You must be the famous Christian"_

_"Um yes ma'am"_

_" My daughter speaks highly of you. Thank you for sending your plane, i really appreciate it"_

_"Its not a problem. Did Ana tell you about us?"_

_"She did. She phoned me a few weeks ago to tell me about her new job. I've never heard her sound so happy and i knew it wasnt just about the job. My Anastasia was in love. Deeper than she had ever been before and that young man is down to you" She smiles kindly at me and i swallow the lump in my throat. I didn't know she had told her mother, Ana always said she they were close and that she had one night phoned her mom when she was depressed over the Elliot and Kate palarva. _

_"Well believe me Mrs Adams, the feeling is completely mutual."_

_"I haven't always been the best mother to her. I've made some terrible personal mistakes and she has had to handle the brunt of the aftermath. The last time i saw her she flew out to Georgia last minute to care for me when i was sick. the least i can do is be here to do the same"_

* * *

I have been sitting by Ana's side for 9hrs and i really need to stretch my legs. I decide to go and find some disgusting hospital coffee and see whats on their barely edible menu, its not a patch of Mrs Jones' breakfast. If there are any positives to come from this is its giving me a chance to re-evaluate my outlook on life, especially my BDSM lifestyle. For the past month i haven't enjoyed much of it, the occasional kink with Ana aside because that doesn't count. I am not as hardcore as some other Dominant's i know, some of them down at the clubs can be brutal but that just isn't me. Seeing a woman's ass colour pink turns me on greatly i readily admit that, even more so when Ana allowed me to spank her, and yes sometimes i use instruments to achieve this. Paddles, canes, whips, belts are all regular in my world and i would be lying if i say i didn't want to explore these with her. The difference between what i did pre-Ana and what we do now is that Ana is not my submissive and i have never wanted her to be. I was extremely strict with my previous subs in terms of sticking to "the contract" i wanted them to follow the rules and if they disobeyed i would punnish them. This supplied me with the control i crave, it stops me from falling into that dangerous area i felt when i was small and in the presence of the crack whore and her pimp. I will never allow myself to fall foul to that position again. At times i do want to punnish Ana when her smart mouth runs wild, mainly because i've never had to deal with it before so my first instinct is to enforce a punnishment but then i feel this strange rush of satisfication, i never want to tame her. Ana is refreshing and challenging but can also be vunerable and stubborn. I feel like i have finally found my missing piece, however corny that may sound, and i vow to be upfront and honest which means i need to tell her about my lifestyle but boy i am terrified that i will lose her...again. _If she ever wakes up _

This plastic chairs are not good for my posture and after spending the whole night upright in the old rickety chair my back is killing me, not mention this cardboard tasting piece of toast and weak coffee is vile. I stretch as far as i can when i see Mia strolling towards me. I thought she went home after seeing Ana and walking out with my mother at about 3am. I guess she stuck around, that girl may be a little firecracker but she has a heart of gold. My relationship with Mia has always been in my opinion the best one i have, again until Ana, i took to Mia like a duck to water. She was just a baby when Grace bought her home, innocent and harmless. I suddenly felt it was my responsiblity to be her older brother and protect her which i have aimed to do every since that day.

Mia takes a seat opposite and tiredly rubs her eyes

" You should be at home getting some rest" I admonish

" It's fine. I wanted to be here. Any change?"

I shake my head " No but she made it through the night which is positive. I don't know what to do Mia" I admit

" Your doing it Christian. You are here supporting Ana. You managed to get her parents here, make sure Mom did the operation and on top of all of that you are pushing the investigation and no doubt will deal with the press when they inevitable come sniffing around. Now I may be a tad biased but I think you are doing the best you can"

" When did you get so smart huh?" I lean over and clasp her hand" How can you always be so nice to me?. I've been a shitty brother"

"Christian" Mia sighs " I love you so much and I know you have... Issues but you have always had my back. From Elliot used to be to rough with me while playfighting to the beating the boys at school when they were inappropriate." We both laugh " You remember that, Mom was soooo mad, it was what like your 5th fight that month. You protected me and i know you will do the same for Ana. Don't be so hard on yourself"

" How did you know about Ana and I"

" Elliot told me. He stumbled in one night completely wasted mumbling something about being an asshole, losing to you again and how everybody hates him, i just thought he was being over dramatic as usual. He was falling all over the place, looking for Mom and Dad's drinks cabinet. He actually reminded me of you back in the day" Mia raises her eyebrow at me and i know exactly what she is referring too. Before i met Elena i turned to drink to help numb the pain. The amount of times i would search high and low for my parents secret stash of alcohol and i was always caught by Mia.

" Elliot puked all over himself before i had the chance to get him into the bathroom which was beyond disgusting, like i am never having babies if thats what i have to clean up day in day out. Eww." I smile at my baby sister. She is the last person on earth you could imagine cleaning, let alone someone elses vomit. This girl could rivial Paris Hilton on that issue. "He managed to sober up and in the process told me all about the little love square you guys have going on. I had no idea this was all going on right underneath my nose. I'm kinda annoyed i wasn't in on it big bro" She smirks at me

" You have my sincere apologises little sis. Took me by surprise as well"

"I like Ana. Alot. She's good for you i can tell."

"What about you Mia any guys on the horizon i need to punch?"

"Oh ha ha!"

"I'm deadly serious. No man is good enough for my little sister" I announce in a silly voice and pinch her cheeks

"Jeez Christian" She slaps my hand away " I have an image to uphold you know. See this is what i mean, where's this Christian come from. I like him he wasn't here before the lovely Miss Steele"

" I'm starting to like him too. I should get back up there. I don't want her to wake up and not find me beside her" We both stand simultaneously and i take her in my arms

"She will come back to you Christian. I'm certain of it. I love you"

"I love you too" Mia pulls back and frowns

"You hardly ever say it back. I mean i know you love me but just i never get used to hearing it come from your lips"

"I'm sorry i don't say it often enough."

"It doesnt't matter. Its who you are and plus i know you adore me." She walks out of the canteen and shouts over her shoulder "What's not to love. I'm fabulous" Trust Mia to put a huge grin on my face

I walk back up to Ana's room. She is going to need a lot of help if she wakes up, _when she wakes up when_, we should move in together so I can help her. I know she was firmly against it but that was before, the circumstances have changed. Escala would be the best option but she can keep her apartment if she likes, I would pay for it of course. I should probably call Ros and fill her in so that she can handle everything. As I approach the room I hear a familiar man's voice. It can't be Ray as he took Carla to the the hotel to check in. I get closer and realisation dawns on me. The man sitting by Ana stroking her face is my older brother

" I remember the first time I saw you. It was at that sports bar on the college campus. Every man's eyes in that room were glued to you including mine. You were stunning and I just wanted to talk to you. I made up that stupid chat up line remember " Did it hurt when you fell heaven"" Elliot chuckles " I will never forget the look you gave me, I thought I had blown it, that usually works but not with Miss Smarty Pants Steele. But you gave me a second chance. I know our relationship was full of ups and downs, you loved me and I hurt you and for that you will never know how sorry I am Ana. I lost my head and got swept away. Don't ever think for one second that i didn't love you because i did, in spite of what i did i never stopped loving you. Please get better because this world would be a lesser place without you."

I can't listen to anymore of this bullshit. I stride aggressively in

" Get out!" My voice is low and menacing. Elliot's head snaps up

" Bro I was..."

" I don't care what you were just doing, you need to leave right now!"

" I don't have to do anything, she was mine first" This comment hits its target and I lunge for him, grabbing fist full of his shirt and pushing him out the door and slamming his body against the wall

" Don't you ever come near her again"

"You stole her from me!"

"Stop lying to yourself Elliot! You are right she was yours and you were complacent, you fucked her best friend for months behind her back. Did you really think she was going to just forgive you so you could continue your dirty little game. I picked up the pieces Elliot, I saw that girl in there for what she really is. As incredible woman capable of so much love which you nearly all but destroyed"

"I didn't even get the chance to make it up to her. You just came by, the Great Christian Grey with his golden touch. You have everything; money, power, fame and now my girlfriend. I fell in love with two women and now i have lost them both. I have nothing" He screams in my face. I see a nurse desperately dailing the phone, no doubt calling security

"That isn't my fault Elliot"

"Why does it all come so easy for you Christian."

"Christian and Elliot Grey!" Our heads twist to see our mother storming towards us "Put him down Christian!"

We both continue to stare each other out, chest heaving. Mom grabs my shoulder and shoves me back. She sure does have some strength for such a small woman

"I have had enough of this. That girl in there was only a few hours ago fighting for her life on an operating table. Have some damn respect." Her eyes dance between us " I did not raise my sons to behave like this. Now i know there are a whole heap of issues brewing between the three of you right now and to be honest im ashamed of every one of you on some level but all that shit can wait. What matters now is that poor girl in there"

Elliot and I both revert back to 11 year old boys nodding our heads, fearing our don't mess with me mother

"Elliot i suggest you leave" He opens his mouth to protest but is soon cut down "Don't you dare argue with me Elliot Grey. You lost that priviledge when you decided to be unfaithful. The last thing Ana needs right now is added stress. Leave!" My brother retreats and heads for the exit

"Christian go back in there and calm down. I was coming down to tell you that the chances of Ana waking up soon have increased. She is responding better than expected to the medication and the head injury wasn't as bad as first thought. We won't know the lasting damage of her injuries until she wakes up." For the first time in nearly 12 hours, optimism surges through me. _My love is going to be ok!_

* * *

It has been 2 days since the shooting and Ana is still unconcious. The waiting is like torture, i count the hours, minutes, seconds that tick past praying that the next will bring her back. I haven't seen the outside world, wild boars couldn't run me out of here. I need to be the first person she sees when she opens those ocean blue eyes. It is late afternnon on the second day and Carla, Ray, My Mom and Dad, Mia and I are all sitting around Anastasia's bed on chairs i had installed. The others were not cutting it and because everyone was refusing to leave i had to do something. Taylor comes striding in and address the room

"Mr Grey i think you should see this" He reaches for the remote

We all turn in the direction on the television mounted on the opposite wall. The reporter is standing outside the hospital entrance.

" I am standing outside Swedish Medical Centre after reports came in that Christian Grey has been seen on the premises. No official statement from GEH yet but it is understood that someone connected to the businessman was rushed here two days ago." Distorted pictures of myself and Mia flash up on screen " Also there has been sightings of both Mr Grey's sister Mia and his mother Grace. Insiders at the hospital told us that Dr Trevelyn Grey was very insistent that she was assigned to the patient and performed the surgery. The person in question is thought to have been a victim of the bar shooting which took place in downtown Seattle. The attack happened at around 8pm outside Maisie's. An unidentified figure was seen fleeing from the scene but police are still investigating and currently have no suspects. We are expecting a statement from Mr Grey imminently. Back to you in the studio"

I slam my coffee down on the bedside table. This isn't fucking good enough. I need information now. I look up at Taylor and he nods understanding my silent request, he leaves the room and I dial Ros' number

"Ros? Its Christian. I need to organise a press conference straight away, i don't want the situation getting out of control"

"Okay. Do you need somebody to write you a statement?"

"No. I can do that"

"The earliest we can have everything in place would be tomorrow mid morning"

"Thats fine. Is everything running smoothly on your end"

"It's all under control"

"If there are any contracts i need to sign which are urgent, contact Taylor. I will not be leaving the hospital until Anastasia has woken up. Clear?"

"Crystal"

* * *

I step out into the crisp morning air. Hundreds of flashes go off at my appearance and reporters are shouting questions. I stride up towards the podium and clear my throat

" A few days ago my girlfriend, Anastasia Steele was gunned down whilst on a night out with work friends at Maisie's Bar. She suffered three gunshot wounds and a significant blow to the head which has left her in a severely critical condition. I urge anyone who may have some information or witnessed any of the happens which took place to contact the police immediately. This animal needs to be stopped. I would appreciate respect for our privacy during the incredibly difficult time" I finish and make my way back inside.

" Mr Grey how long have you and Miss Steele being dating?"

" Are you in love Christian?"

" Is she after your money ?"

" What are her chances of survival?"

It takes every ounce of restraint not to punch each and every one of those reporters. What kind I questions are those. As i enter my temporary home, or so it has been for the past 2 days, i find it empty. I take this opportunity to lay beside Ana. This is the first time i have been able to do this, there is usually a whole group crammed in this relatively small space. Ana's body heat and the gentle beats of her heart console the persistent knot of worry deep in my stomach. Reaching up to cup her bruised face, i pull her to my lips

"Ana? Come on baby, wake up. Why won't you wake up" I brush my lips against hers, then move them across her face. From the corner of her mouth, up her cheek and then back down towards her neck, trying to coax her awake and heal her with my kisses.

"Christian"

My heart stops

**A/N Whoa that was a long one. Writers block clearly agrees with me!**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Firstly i am so sorry for the lack of updates this week, its been hectic and exhausting. My plan this weekend is to write as much as i can and hopefully have some chapters ready to post throughout the week. Again thank you for you reviews, follows, favs and patience. I didn't expect to get a chapter out today but got inspired whilst listening to my girl Adele ( This may be evident towards the end) **

**As an little note this is my personal casting preferences for the film:**

**Christian Grey- I was 100% Team Bomer but recently i rewatched the first series of The Tudors and my god Henry Cavill has to be Mr G. Its a perfect role for him**

**Ana- Tbh i haven't actually given it much thought as long as it isn't Emma Watson. DO NOT turn Hermione into Ana**

**Elliot- Because i am totes in love with him and have been for very long time Chad Michael Murray ( Its an One Tree Hill thing, if i could get away with him being Christian i would)**

**Kate- Amber Heard maybe?**

**Mia- Lucy Hale?**

**Carla- Mary Steenburgen**

**Ray- Jeffrey Dean Morgan **

**Taylor- Someone like Jason Statham**

**Grace - Sela Ward ( CSINY connection)**

**Carrick- Victor Garber**

**Sawyer- Carmine Giovinazzo because he should be in everything**

**Ana POV**

My head feels fuzzy.

If feels like I have been in this state unknown for years, sometimes I think I can hear voices and I try with all my energy to respond. Although the majority of time I don't recognise the person talking there is always one who am instantly attuned to. My love. Christian. I've heard him barking orders; _nothing changes there_ I've also heard him comfort whoever else is in the room, he chats to me sometimes it isnt much it might be innate information such as reading the daily paper, I know my mom and dad are here because he tells me how much they are struggling seeing me in this state. When no one is in the room, Christian pours his heart out. He is a notoriously difficult person to get any information out of, granted he has been more open with me but that only goes so far. This is what shocks me the most, I know we confessed our love to each other however even though I accepted it, in the back of mind I had a niggling doubt. Mainly based on my own insecurities, I have had men in the past, Elliot the prime example, who have told me they loved me and subsequently letting my guard down and giving myself to them completely only to be hurt and deceived. The hardest thing to hear however is the sound of him crying. Never in a million years could i imagine Christian weeping; he is always a pillar of strength, the person who has a calm head and doesn't let emotion rule him but here he is pleading with me to wake up and I try so hard. I want to see his face, comfort him and wipe away the tears.

I can feel other sense return to me which provides the hope that soon I will wake up from this nightmare. That horrible sterile hospital stench infiltrates my senses and scares me. The last I remember is; the sound of shattering glass, screams piercing through the room and this strange pain unlike anything I've ever experienced as well as the terror etched on Christian's handsome face.

I smell my moms perfume, she has worn the same one since I was a child and every time that aroma is around I know I am home. It relaxes me and I fall into the abyss once again

I wake and find myself anxious to move. The burning heat is so uncomfortable, almost like I am being cocooned by another person. It is then when i feel the brush of somebody's lips on my face, caressing my cheek._ Christian_. The urge to see him, touch him, feel him returns in full force and i try my hardest to wake up. To my surprise light begins to shine through and my eyelids slowly prise open. I blink and gather my bearings.

" Christian?" My voice is broken and shaky. A gasp escapes his body and my gaze rises to his face. Christian is staring wide eyed, his mouth forming a perfect "O"

"Ana!" He exclaims in disbelief

" Hey"

" Oh my god. I've missed you so much baby" Without thinking I try to sit up and sharp excruciating pain shoots through my abdomen.

" Arrrggh"

Christian leaps up panicking " Ana what is it. Tell me what's wrong?"

" Pain" I manage to squeak out. This is unbearable.

" Wait there. Don't move" Wow you don't have to worry about that, jeez

He hurries out to fetch a nurse and I focus on controlling my breathing and channelling the pain. Minutes later, Christian returns with a blonde haired nurse

" Miss Steele, it's nice to see you awake. Your boyfriend here tells me you are having a little trouble with the pain" _Little trouble! I'm in fucking agony here bitch!_ " I am just going to increase your dose of medication. I will inform the doctor and he will stop by for a visit and assess your injuries."

" You need to call my mother Dr Trevelyn Grey. She is the one responsible for Anastasia" Christian snaps

" Ah my apologises I have just seen that here written in the records. Try to relax Ana, the meds will kick in soon. Mr Grey, she will probably require some water soon make sure she takes small sips okay?" He nods and the nurse retreats out of the room. Christian grabs my hand and takes a seat in the armchair by the bed

" How bad is the pain?"

" Slowly getting better. What happened?" I croak. The flash of fear sweeps across his beautiful features.

" You were shot Ana"

" How... What... Why?" I am confused. The pain was so severe I never took the time to realise what was the cause.

" I'm trying my best to find out the how and the why and believe me I will get the answers" The anger in his voice startles me, god help whoever is responsible " You were shot 3 times and my mom said there was damage to your internal organs. My mom will be able to explain It better" The need to touch him drives me to stroke his stubbly chin. He cups my hand and nuzzles into it

" Have you been here the whole time?"

"Of course I have" he snorts " I'm not leaving your side ever again" I smile tiredly at him but I am faced with a anguished man. He no longer looks like the powerful CEO, that person has been replaced by a small lost boyone who is scared and confused

" Hey look at me" I demand and he does reluctantly, slowly drawing his gaze up to meet mine " I love you"

Those 3 simple words, heavy with meaning arouse him from that dark place he has been inhabiting for the past 2 days

" I love you too so fucking much baby" Pulling himself up he leans over and presses his lips to mine. Pouring all his emotion into one sweet tender kiss. As we break apart I hear the door open and Grace steps in, a smile spread across her tired face. _Did anyone get any sleep!_

I'm a little nervous about being with Grace in the same room again. The last time I saw her she basically accused me of being a golddigger. I know she is disappointed in us all and who could blame her. It's an awful situation where there is nothing but hurt and breakdown of lifetime relationships. She was the only one who knew about Christian and I from the start but I presume this is no longer the situation. Grace steers around the bed and stands next to Christian placing a comforting hand upon his broad shoulders

" I can't tell you how happy I am to see you awake Ana. You gave us all quite the scare then, especially this one" She gives her son an affectionate squeeze

" Thank you for everything you have done for me Grace. You saved my life" My bottom lip starts to tremble as realisation dawns at just how close I came to death and what this glorious woman did, Grace put aside any personal feelings and saved me

" There is no need to thank me. And besides its my job and you are not just another patient. You are the woman who my son loves and the girl I spent Christmas with. I would not have abandoned you." Grace kisses my forehead and pulls out a folder " Ok let's get down to business. You where extremely lucky Ana. There was some tearing of the tissue and we did have to repair some damage to your abdominal organs mainly your intestine but fortunately the shots missed you spleen but you did lose a lot of blood which meant that we had to give you a blood transfusion. The recovery time will be significant and you will probably find mobility a struggle for a while but considering other possible outcomes... Well it doesn't bare thinking about". Christian's body relaxes and his shoulder sag literally like a weight has been lifted.

" I will leave you two now, I know there are a few people waiting outside dying to get in here. We will talk probably later okay Ana, just get some rest and if its too much you need to ask them to leave" She hugs me and i tighten my arms around her

" Thank you" I whisper sincerely in her ear

" Take care of yourself and my son, sweet girl. He loves you"

" I know. I love him too"

* * *

It's so nice to see my mom. The last time we were together she was sick and I was taking care of her. Now that's been flipped on its head and she is flapping around me, fussing over every detail. I would take this in a heartbeat over her reaction when she first came in. My mother is an emotional woman at the best of times. It took me half an hour just to calm her down, no idea where the energy for that came from though. Christian excused himself shortly after my parent arrival. I think he is having a hard time keep his emotions in check whilst at the same time trying to cling onto a scrap of control. I think he is following up on the investigation although he won't tell me any details, constantly throwing out the " You do not need any more stress, I am handling it" which may all be well and good but the unknown doesn't sit well with me. Someone tried to kill me I think I have a right to know what's happening to catch this psychopath. Being stuck in this hospital might have its advantages; Christian told me his wasn't going to leave my side so my insistent badgering is bound to break him at some point and he will be forced to reveal all. I may be currently indisposed physically but mentally I am fit as a fiddle and anxious for the truth. I believe some of Christian's reluctance is because of guilt. As my mother babbles away I attempted to figure out why he feels this way. Maybe because he is a public figure which automatically makes me a target, the shooting may have been a random attack and I was just caught in the crossfire who knows but if anyone is going to find out it will be my boyfriend. The crackle of the television draws me out of my thoughts

" Breaking news! A statement has just been releases from Grey Enterprise Holdings confirming that at 9 o'clock this morning, shortly after Mr Grey's press conference, Anastasia Steele awoke from her coma. The 21 year old girlfriend of the billionaire suffered 3 gun shots to the abdomen in the bar shotting 2 days ago. This is what the CEO had to say this morning" Christian walks into the room as they show his press conference.

" I guess the word is out then" I say taking a slurp of my water. My throat feels like I've swallowed a handful of needles

" Yeah I'm sorry Ana I had to address them, they were hounding GEH and my family trying to get information. I needed to explain and ask for privacy"

" It's okay, just a little weird i guess. Haven't really prepared myself for the onslaught"

" I will do everything in power to make you feel safe baby" he replies emphatically and I know he doesn't just mean the press. The sentiment warms my heart but doesn't ease my escalating fear of leaving the safety of this hospital. The added danger of strangers following me as a result of my new found recognition is a frightening concept

* * *

Its midnight before I finally get some alone time with Christian. As much as I appreciate everyone's support all I really want is to be wrapped in his safe, comforting embrace. Speaking of, Mr Gorgeous himself walks in looking exhausted. I know he hasn't slept a wink since the shooting, probably blaming himself the whole time. Now dressed in a black tshirt and some pyjamas pants, Christian settles into the chair that he has been permanently stuck to. I open my arms silently inviting him in

" Baby as much as I would love to crawl in there i don't want to hurt you. I'm fine here honestly"

" We both know that's a load of crap, it must be killing your back. You won't hurt me. I really need you to hold me right now." I see his resolve crumble and he hesitantly joins me. At this moment in time I am in pain and need to be handled with care but that doesn't mean Christian has to treat me like glass for the foreseeable future. He encloses his strong arms around me and i revel in his warmth. The silence in the room is unnerving, it takes me back to those few minutes after the first shots were fired. In a heartbeat I lost all sense of sound and it felt like the end, my life was over. It had been cut short before it had ever really had time to begin. I would never experience the joys it can offer like marriage, love, children.

Unable to stand the silence anymore I nuzzle into Christians neck

" Put some music on please baby" Christian looks at me puzzled but soon sees the pain in my eyes and reaches over to the iPod in the dock placed on the bedside table. I wonder idly why it's there, maybe Christian needed a distraction while I was in the coma. He quickly shuffles through the songs knowing exactly what he is looking for no doubt. All of a suddenly the dulcet tones of Adele fill the cold hospital room and we both lie there listening to the raining crashing against the window and the lyrics saying what I know Christian can't quite express himself

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear  
And there is no one there to dry your tears  
I could hold you for a million years  
To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_  
_But I would never do you wrong_  
_I've known it from the moment that we met_  
_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

_I'd go hungry, I'd go back and blue_  
_Nothing that I wouldn't do_  
_Go to the ends of the earth for you_  
_To make you feel my love_

I feel his teardrops fall on my cheek and the sob erupting from his chest. All of the worry, stress and now relief which has culminated during the most horrific few days is spilling over. The depth of my feelings for this man is overwhelming. I could have missed out, the rare love of Christian Grey

**A/N Have to say the last bit did make me cry. The lyrics of the song fit perfectly**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N Was hoping to get this out earlier but kept on adding bits. I'm glad the last chapter went down well. A little bit of fluff was needed amongst all the drama. **

**You can also blame CSI:NY for the delay. **

**every Danny and Lindsay fangirl's dream came true and we found out Lindsay is pregnant again which probably means nothing to most of you but trust me its a huge deal!**

**On with the drama ( and a moody Ana)**

I have been stuck in this clinical prison for a week now and it is driving me crazy. Mobility is still a pretty huge deal for me, three gunshots wounds will do that to a person. Christian has been by my side and as much as I love that man I need some space. He waltzes in looking every inch the Hollywood movie star in a pair of ray bans, leather jacket, low v T-shirt and pants which hangs perfectly on those defined hips.

" Have you eaten yet?" Here we go again always constantly on my case about my diet. Doesn't matter how many times I explain to him that I just don't have a huge appetite he never understands.

" Oh hey Christian. I'm fine how are you" I reply petulantly

" Now isn't the time for your smart mouth Ana. You promised before I left that you would have some breakfast" He nipped out to Escala to change and collect some paperwork. My parents came by this morning to check up on me, they are leaving tonight so they returned to their hotel to pack, its going to be difficult to say goodbye being so far away is hard. The hour of freedom was pretty liberating but my bad mood hasn't improved

" Yeah well I haven't got round to it yet. I have a very busy schedule which includes staring at the ceiling, staring at the four walls, sitting in the same position because I cant move my body and having strangers constantly poking and prodding me. So as you can see my time is full." My voice is dripping with sarcasm

Christian sighs and sits on the bed brushing the hair off my forehead " I know that you are frustrated being stuck here, i am trying my best to pull some strings and get you home. Speaking of which how do you feel about moving into Escala for a while?"

" Why?" We have already had this discussion it's too soon to live together.

" I know you have reservations and there is nothing I want more than for you to move in permanently so that I can wake up to your beautiful face in my bed every morning" I blush scarlet, Christian sure does have a way with words. He knowingly smirks " but its only temporary I promise, it's just until you recover. The hospital are more likely to discharge you if you are going to place where there is a person to look after you."

It makes sense. " Can I think about if for a little bit?" I ask gently. The last thing I want to do is hurt is feelings by rejecting his offer again.

" Sure baby. Now about breakfast" he pulls his phone out and taps In a well known number " Taylor, on your way here could you stop by I hop and pick Anastasia some breakfast up. I also need to a quick debrief on the investigation" He hangs up and I glare disapprovingly at him

" What now?"

" Why are you always so sharp with people. Taylor does a lot for you the least you can do is say please and thank you"

" Ana I don't have time for that shit. I need things done and I need them straight away. Taylor knows the drill"

" Yeah well if you spoke to me like that I would tell you were to stick it"

" Oh really Miss Steele. And where would you like me to stick it? Please do tell?" My lips curl at his not so subtle innuendo and I punch him lightly on the arm

" Stop it. Don't be getting me all hot and bothered when there is no chance of release" his grin soon falls " hey I'm just kidding." I stroke his arm reassuringly " How about I make you a deal? I will eat the breakfast Taylor so kindly fetched for me if you fill me in on the investigation"

" Blackmailing me Miss Steele?"

" If that's what is takes, then yes. I have a right to know what's going on Christian"

" I can't worry you anymore Ana. The most important thing is for you to get better. Let me handle this" I am sick and tired of being kept in the dark.

" Christian! Enough of this. Either you tell me or I will find someone who is eager to accommodate my simple request. I need to know. In a few days I will be leaving this room and re-entering the real world and I would like to know the facts before I do. The unknown is killing me" my voice rising towards the end of my rant. Christian runs his hand through his copper hair, debating his options.

" Okay okay if you promise to eat every last scrap of food Taylor brings in here, I will tell you everything I know." I smug smile of satisfaction spreads across my face and Christian shakes his head at me amused

" Thank you baby. Now what does a girl have to do get some loving from her control freak, frustrating boyfriend huh?"

Christian leans over and hovers above my lips " She has to stop being a smart ass"

" Not going to happen sorry. Get used to it" he growls and swoops down. The kiss grows in intensity with every second before its rudely interrupted

" Oh I'm sorry" a small voice murmurs from the doorway. We break apart and I glance over Christian's shoulder, surprised by who i see

" What are you doing here" I snipe

" Ana" Christian chastises and I glare at him. Why is he defending her

" Look I was here when you were brought in and I have been worried about you"

" Well there was no need. You've seen me now you can leave Kate"

" Ana please"

" My situation changes nothing Kate. I don't want to see you"

" Ana!"

" Stay out of it Christian"

Kate turns and walks out of the room dejected. I am in no mood to discuss this with Christian. Why all of a suddenly is he Kate's biggest supporter. Christian opens his mouth to speak as Taylor enters with my food.

" Miss Steele"

" Hi Taylor. Is that my breakfast?"

" Yes ma'am"

" Please no ma'am it makes me feel old. Christian go and hold your debrief"

" But Ana"

" Go Christian" I bark without giving him eye contact. I can't be around him right now

"Sawyer will be right outside the door"

" Uh huh" He waits a second for me to change my mind then leaves. I am angry at him for not respecting my wishes towards Kate. If there is anyone in this world who knows exactly how I feel it's Christian but despite this he has the nerve to correct me on the way I speak to her. What gave Kate the impression she was welcome here in the first place.

I was so preoccupied with getting Christian to leave that I forgot to ask for my breakfast to be served and Its too painful to do any excessive movement, although the pain has eased recently, that is due mainly to the daily physio visits.

"Sawyer!" I call for the new bodyguard on station outside my door. I got quite the surprise when I met him for the first time. Nobody bothered to introduce us so when he came into my room whilst I was alone it lead to a severe panic attack. It was only when I calmed down that Christian explained who he was. Since the incident Sawyer has kept his distances out of fear of a repeat occurrence. The panic attack scared me as it showed underlying issues growing inside me, Christian suggests that we should make an appointment with his shrink, a Dr Flynn I think his name was, and i hesitantly agreed. The idea of a therapist is not an ideal one for me but if it helps with my anxiety I will give it a bash.

" Miss Steele?"

" Can you plate up the food Taylor brought in please"

" Of course" Sawyer is very much like Taylor. Both look like they were born to be security. Muscular, serious and taciturn.

* * *

About an hour later Christian comes warily into the room. I am in the middle of my physiotherapy

" Good Ana. Ok control your breathing and take a few steps forward. I'm here if you need to hold on" Joanne the physio says. I put one foot forward and winch at the sensation.

" Christian can you stand in front of Ana so she has a visible goal" I glance up at him through my eyelashes, he is smirking and i roll my eyes. I may be angry with him right now but truthfully he is the prize at the end. With the steady hand of Joanne I manage to successfully reach Christian, throwing my arms around his waist and laying my head on his chest. I feel him tense and his breathing escalates only to calm seconds later as he gets use to my touch.

" Well done baby" Christian kisses my hair and helps me back onto the bed.

" You did well today Ana. It will take time but as long a we keep up the progress you will be fine. Remember to practice your personal exercise we have to strengthen those muscles again"

" I will do. Thanks Joanne" I really like her. She is patient with me and understand just how difficult this is and how sore I really am.

Christian and I are left alone and it's becoming awkward. It's ridiculous and I will not repeat my previous mistakes of letting things fester, it happened with Elliot. I've learned my lesson.

" We need to talk" Those 4 words always mean trouble, and in this instant that's true.

" I know."

" I have a list just to warn you"

" Do you now. Well no time like the present to air your grievances"

" Kate"

" Your still mad at me" he sighs

" Of course i am. I'm angry, confused and a little apprehensive" He positions himself on the bed, one leg tucked under the other.

" I was mess Ana. The shooting had just happened and you were dying" he says bluntly " Nobody was giving me any information and I was working myself up into a frenzy. The thought baby of being without you, just as we had started was heartbreaking. The operation was long and I had no control whatsoever and as you know that is rare and honestly I don't know how to deal with it, I still don't. I walked past a chaplaincy and for the first time in my life I prayed. I begged God not to take you from me." Even though I had seen how this has affected him i hadn't considered just how much.  
" when I finished she was there. Kate was devastated Ana, regardless of your issues that girl was as close to you as a sister and to see you in that state crushed her. She is sorry I believe that and I do not think for one minute you should miraculously have a change of heart and forgive her but at least go a little easy on her here. I don't like the girl but I know what it feels like to see you dying and that image eats away at you." I'm gobsmacked.

" Why didn't you tell me this. Baby I am going to be fine."

" I can't sleep because every time I close my eyes all I see is you lying on the floor bleeding" Christian's hangs his head and covers those teary eyes with his arm

" Oh baby come here" he lies down and buries his face in my neck as I brush my hands through his messy hair.

" Have you been to see Dr Flynn about this?"

" No I've been too busy. Here with you, dealing with work and the press. It just doesn't seem like a priority "

" I tend to disagree. Christian if I am going to see this man you should too. How about you find out if he will come by tonight."

" You sure about that?"

"Positive. I want to see him before I leave anyway"

" Why?"

" I am just having a little trouble with a few things" I shrug nonchalantly. If I tell him the full extend of my fears he will freak out.

" You can always talk to me you know that"

" Yep. That works both ways as well"

" I'll call Flynn. It's a good thing you brought this up now"

" Why's that?"

" While I was away earlier I managed to speak to a few senior members of the hospital and they agreed to discharge you tomorrow on the condition that you are on complete bed rest and my mother comes by for daily check ups."

Elation mixed with terror builds. I couldn't be more delighted to leave this room but I am heading into danger I can feel it. " I take it that means I am staying at Escala"

" It's part of the condition"

" It's only temporary remember!"

" We'll see" he gives me his panty dropping smile. Other obstacle to content with, no sex for a while.

" You need to tell me what you know about the shooting now"

" Whoa Ana, talk about change of direction"

" I told you I had a list now stop deflecting"

He sits up " You need to prepare yourself and before I start I promise i will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I've said it before and I mean every word" my stomach flips at his words. Oh this can't be good

" The bad news is the police haven't arrested anyone yet but they have leads. I have my whole security department working on this around the clock. The CCTV from the other shops around the bar did highlight the shooter unfortunately their face was hidden but both the police and us were able to confirm that it was a male who fired the shots. He was then seen running around the back of the convenience store opposite and he was joined by two accomplices. These were both confirmed as females.

" Really?!" I ask in disbelief.

" Yeah that shocked me too. But baby I hate to tell you this... Um... You see... This is hard" Christian struggles to look me in the eye. I've never heard him stutter before. Alarm bells chime.

" Christian what is it?"

" Ana. You were the intended target" It's a blow to my gut and panic has a vice grip on me

" Why... What did i do... Why would someone want to kill me... oh my god" I am finding it hard to breath. Someone wanted me dead. Christian gathers me in his arms and rocks my trembling body

" Shhh baby. Slowly breath" I do as he says " That's it. Deep breaths" this is worse then I could ever imagine. They didn't succeed so they are going to come back to finish the job. I am living on borrowed time. Christian repeatedly tells me he will keep me safe but that won't always be possible.

" This has more to do with me than you Ana. Ive been dreading this moment for days because I'm terrified you will leave me because of it and I won't blame you one little bit."

Leaving him wouldn't solve anything I would be miserable. I knew what I was getting myself into whether that be dealing with his status and all the baggage entailed with it or the fallout with Elliot.

" How did they know about us? only a handle full of people were aware of our relationship"

" My security advisors Welch and Barney discovered that your work email had been hacked. This implies that it's an inside job, we are going through the backgrounds of each employee with a fine tooth comb"

" I have been there a few weeks, you would be lucky if I could name 15 people and they certainly don't concern themselves with a lowly assistant. I don't understand Christian"

" I suspect whoever is responsible has been following you since before you started at SIP. We haven't been entirely careful about concealing ourselves. We don't flaunt it but we still go out and act like a couple. Honestly I'm surprised the press haven't caught on sooner."

" Are you at risk?" It's been bugging me, If I am a target it must be because of who Christian is or somebody with a grudge and they are trying hurt him and I would be the perfect candidate for that.

" I would say that is a high possibility but I have security around me 24/7 and now so will you. I have assigned Sawyer as your personal guard, he will be by your side at all times Ana"  
This relaxes me somewhat. At least I feel little less alone.

" Thank you for sharing this with me" although it wasn't what I wanted to hear, in a perfect world these pricks would be locked up, I am proud of Christian for opening up to me. He doesn't do it often so this was a big deal.

" Can you see why I didn't want to tell you. I am struggling to hold it together let alone what you must going through, you have enough on your plate"

" True but baby we are in this together. It's what couples do. If you keep things from me this relationship will fizzles out rather quickly because I'm done with all that. I left it behind with Elliot on that beach."

" You have to be patient with me at times though Ana. This doesn't come naturally to me"

" Promise me you will endeavour to communicate with me"

"You have my word"

" I love you so much Christian"

" I love you too Ana. More than you will ever know"

After forcing down more of the delightful offerings this hospital provides for dinner, Christian and I are relaxing before Dr Flynn arrives. I haven't disclosed to Christian yet that when the good Dr arrives I need him to leave the room. It may sound hypocritical as I have relentlessly nagged at him for withholding information from me but the difference is I have every intention of explaining my fears to him, I just require the time to order my thoughts and feelings so I can articulate them to him and to myself.  
The session is a necessity for the both of us, he may look calm and relax right this minute as he reads the financial times but I know underneath that exterior is a man conflicted. I decided to speak with him now instead of causing a scene when the shrink arrives

" Christian?"

" Yeah baby" he peers over the broad sheet newspaper

" Don't get angry with me but I would prefer if you left Dr Flynn and I during my session."

" Anastasia. I want to know whats going on in that pretty little head of yours"

" And I will tell you."

" You promise"

" I promise"

" There's a lot of promises flying around this room today" he remarks

" Good. I intent to hold them"

" I informed Flynn that the time will be considerable less than an average session. You need to rest"

" I am totally fine with that" talking about my insecurities isn't something I want to dwell on for a long period time

" What no fight?" He arches his eyebrow amused

" Nope! See I can be amendable" I stick my tongue out at him

A knock on the door startles us and Christian hops up to answer it giving me the full on Christian Grey ass show. I may be currently indisposed but I still want him badly. It going to be a while before I can even entertain any of those ideas and I hate every second of it.  
Taylor tells us that Flynn is here and a man appears behind him. He is definitely not what I was expecting, younger for starters mid to late 30's is my estimate.

" Christian"

" John" they shake hands and both pair eyes turn towards me

" And this must be the famous Miss Steele. Hi I am John Flynn" he holds his hand out to me. His British accent makes me smile, I have had a love affair for anything British for as long as I can remember

" Please call me Ana."

" It's nice to finally meet you. The man who captured Christian Grey's ice heart" I blush on cue

" I knew this was a bad idea" Christian mutters under his breath

" Oh hush Christian. So how do you guys want to do this"

" Anastasia would like to speak to you alone. I will go after"

" That's fine. Shall we get started Ana?" The butterflies in my stomach multiply. Christian collects his newspaper and laptop then plants his lips upon mine.

" Don't take any of his bullshit baby." He grins at Flynn and exits

" Have to say the change in him since he met you is remarkable Ana. I've never seen anything like it"

" He is an incredible person"

" That he is"

" He needs your help though. He is having a hard time with this"

" And so are you. I can see it in your eyes"

" Is it that obvious?"

" To me it is. So why don't you try telling me what's eating away at you?"

" It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that I am terrified"

" That is completely normal Ana. You were shot for peak sake"

" But the thought of leaving this room gives me a panic attack. That's not right"

" It ok to be scared"

" I should be ready for a fight though. My whole life I have never been weak, I have had moments where of course I felt dejected but I always pull myself together. Now I want to hide away in a corner and forget about the world. Christian could assign the whole American armed forces to protect me and it would make a blinds bit of difference. They are waiting round the corner ready to pounce.

" I'm not going lie to you Anastasia there will be a threat when you leave here but we live with danger everyday of our lives. We could get hit by a bus on the way out to buy some milk, you could be struck down by a terminal illness at any point, the world is full of peril but we take that risk everyday. You are aware of the situation which automatically prepares you, your body is on high alert. Not to mention the security attached to you."

" What if that's not enough. If these monsters don't get me will my irrational fear drive Christian away from me."

" Somehow I don't think that will happen"

" How can you be so sure"

" Ana. I have worked with Christian for many years. I know everything about that man. He is head over heels in love with you and it gratifying to witness. Many thought it would never happen. As far as your concerns, let people help you. Your body may not be able to fight back but the most powerful tool known to man, the mind, will. Believe in that and trust that justice will be served. I recommend we schedule some sessions, I will let Christian know If thats ok with you?"

" That's sounds great" I nod in agreement still pondering his words

" He told me you are leaving tomorrow. If you need me to come by don't hesitate to call me" John pulls out a business card and places it by the flowers on the beside table.

" Thank you Dr Flynn"

" Anytime, now I best see to that boyfriend of yours. It was nice to meet you and remember... Stay strong. Don't let them win. Try and focus on the positives like what there is to look forward to. The thing these people hate most in the world is seeing the object of their grievance happy." We shake hands once again and he exits leaving me with a lot to think about.

My parents sit with me whilst Christian is in with Flynn. I don't want them to leave and cling on to my mother like a child. I would be lying if I hadn't considered going back to Georgia with her but that is running away from the problem. Plus i am in no condition to fly and Christian would have a fit. When the time comes for them to depart i dissolve into tears, reduced to begging my parent to stay. I know it's a selfish request, they have lives to get back to. My mother has to return and look after Bob, the only silver lining is Ray is coming to visit me at the weekend. Mom finally manages to pry me off of her and they make a quick dash before she changes her mind.

Tiredness descends upon me after my final does of pain medication and I snuggle down for the night. Christian climbs in and I wrap myself around him craving his warmth

" How did your session go? " I ask stifling a yawn

" Yeah we talked through some stuff"

" He is very good. No wonder you spend so much money on him"

He laughs " I personally feel he over charges. He told me you would like to see him again"

"Yeah I think it would be good for me. We could try and attend some together"

" Sounds like a plan. Big day tomorrow baby" he strokes my arm

" Mmmm." I deflect the statement. It is still playing heavily on my mind. Christian tilts my chin and kisses me sweetly

" Goodnight baby."

" Goodnight Christian"

I am slowly drifting off when I hear the door creak open.

" Mr Grey?" Taylor murmurs

" Yes" Christian agitatedly answers

" Barney just called, they have found out the name of one of the accomplices" this captures my attention and I turn my wide eyes over to Christian. His are stormy

" Who?"

" Elena Lincoln Sir


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N This week has been crazy busy. I have been swamped with essay and reports with stupidly close deadlines.**

**I have been writing this chapter for days and found it quite a struggle. Although some aspects of my story are similar to the books, i have altered and changed a few things. **

**Thank you all for your patience!**

The anger radiating off of Christian is palpable, I'm sure if this was a cartoon there would be steam billowing from his ears. Those striking grey eyes blaze and his chest is heaving at a 100 mph. The hold he has around me is becoming painful.

" Christian your hurting me baby" I whisper and the hold immediately relaxes.

" Explain" He commands at Taylor

" Witness reports state that a woman matching Ms Lincoln's description was spotted lingering around the vancinity before the attack took place. She was described as looking edgy and solely focus on the bar. I got a phone call at lunchtime from an acquaintance who provided me with these details and it instantly rang a bell so I acquire some of the tapes and ordered Barney to search her records. This is when it was discovered that she had applied and attained a gun license and purchased a weapon alongside some ammunition. We have had surveillance tracking her since this afternoon and we saw two unidentified subjects entering her home. We believe one of these suspects is the shooter. I contacted the police with every piece of information in our possession but protocol prevented them from acting immediately, they have to verify the evidence before making any arrests. During this time, the group had managed to exit Lincoln's property and unfortunately the tail we had on them was lost. They haven't been seen since."

The only thing keeping Christian from charging out the room right now is me.

" That fucking bitch!" He screams and leaps up. Christian paces the room frantically " Why would she resort to this? We agreed to part ways months ago!" He seems to have forgotten Taylor and I are in the room

" I am going to kill her." This one comment sends shockwaves through my battered body, he is deadly serious. If anything happens to Christian because of that woman I would never forgive myself. She would have won regardless if her attentions weren't successful. My life without Christian doesn't bear thinking about. I see the determination surge through his muscular body and he heads straight for the door on a mission. A murderous mission. It takes all of Taylor's immense strength to hold him back. I cry out for Christian to stop but pain prevents me from putting any power behind it

" Fucking let me go Taylor" Christian shouts in a rage

" I can't let you do this Christian" It's always strange when Taylor refers to Christian by his first name. " Elena will get what's coming to her"

" I don't give a shit. I will find that bitch and make her pay"

" You ending up in prison for the rest of your life won't solve the situation and that is what will happen if i let go. People rely on you Mr Grey" Taylor looks pointedly at me. As if a ton of bricks suddenly hits, Christian remembers that I am sitting on the bed watching this show play out. He looks at me and his eyes soften. I see his dilemma play out in front of me

" Search high and low for her and don't stop until she has been found. Do not let her out of your sight when you do. I want the names of the other pricks as well" Christian barks and Taylor goes off to follow his bosses requests. Once Taylor vacates the room, Christian slams his fists into the wall making me jump and a huge fist shape hole appears. An anguished scream erupts from deep within his soul and it breaks my heart, I cover my mouth in an effort to hold in the sob.

The enormity of the information we have just received begins to set in. This woman I have never met organised my murder and the possible deaths of many others in that bar. What in the world would drive someone to these lengths? there is something connecting Elena and Christian, something strong enough to drive a person to mastermind such an inhumane act. Our relationship has past by at lightening speed and we really haven't had the time to discuss each others backgrounds. It is then when it dawns on me; before the shooting Christian agreed to tell me whatever it was he was keeping from me, with all the drama and my lingering head injury it had slipped my mind. This attack was callous and steeped in jealously, Elena wanted to hurt Christian badly.

_Is my love for Christian enough to put my own life at risk? I am caught up in issues way bigger and more dangerous than I could ever imagine._

Christian is standing by the wall resting his forehead upon it. His back to me, the hard muscles rippling with tension.

" Don't do anything stupid" my voice is timid. His head snaps around

" Stupid! Ana she nearly killed you and its all because of me." Through all this anger i see the guilt eating him up inside

" Tell me why. Before the shooting you promised to let me in, now is that time Christian." I hear rather than see the large gulp. It takes him a few minutes but his admission knocks me for six

" Elena and I had a... relationship, if you could call it that" My mouth drops open

" When?"

" I was young"

" How young?" He avoids eye contact

" 15" A gasp escapes my lips

" Oh my god Christian" She abused him. _Why hasn't this woman been locked up before? _

" Ana it's not what you think. She helped me"

" How the fuck did she help you?"

" She taught me control and a way to channel my anger. You want to know why I am the way I am? it is because of what she introduced me to. I was out of control as a teenager, dead set on ruining my life and inflicting nothing but anguish on my parents. I was part of this immaculate family which was full of love that I don't deserve. My whore of a mother didn't give two shits about me and I was falling into the abyss. Elena took me away from all the shit, she carried some of my burdens. My scars are a constant reminder everyday of that life the Grey's rescued me from and until you Ana I couldn't tolerate touch. That has been one of the most surprising aspects to emerge from our short relationship. I crave your touch and for a while there I thought I had lost it. If you had died Ana, a piece of me would have died alongside you.

My poor troubled boy. Fifty Shades of fucked up but I love him so.

" When did you and Elena finish?" I feel the distain of the words as they leave my mouth

" It properly finished about 2 months before I met you" Shock. Anger. Disgust. Confusion. Hate . Yes those are my emotions right now and by the looks of Christian's ashamed expression all of these are being displayed across my face. A part of me, the hopelessly in love with this man part, desperately wished he had told me they had ended this illicit affair years ago, the infatuation that clearly exists between the pair would be extinct and everyone had moved on. This is not the case. A mere 2 months ago my boyfriend was fucking this monster, it's not nearly enough time to have washed away feelings which have been culminating for such a long time. Christian is a 27 year old man for fuck sake, this has been going on for over 10 years.

" What do you mean by completely?" I snarl. _I am just a rebound for him?_

" We broke up officially when I was 22. Since then we have had sex sporadically" My stomach feels like its received another 3 bullets.

" This is the reason I am lying here with my stomach tarnished forever. This is woman is pining for your dick."

" She can pine all she likes. It's yours" This isn't a flirty, sexual statement. He means it wholeheartedly but there is something not right, he isn't telling me the whole truth.

" What else?"

" What do you mean?"

" Don't bullshit me Christian. How did she teach you control?" His mouth sets in a hard firm line. His clenched fist firmly stuck on the sheets

" I am not going to unveil that here"

" The fuck you aren't!" I shout, immediately regretting raising my voice as pain flashes through me and my face contorts

" Okay Okay Ana just calm down. " He waits until the pain subsides" Remember when I tied you up the the last time we had sex and spanked you" I nod, unsure of where this is heading " well to put it lightly that was me going easy. Elena and I participate in a different sexual lifestyle to most." Realisation dawns.

" I was a dominant Ana" _Was?_ I am speechless" Say something" his voice is hoarse. Words continue to fail me.

" Do you expect me to do that?"

" No. No. No. Baby what we have satisfies me more than I can possible express. I'm not going to sit here, lie and tell you those urges have disappeared because they haven't. We have experimented before and you enjoyed it baby" He is right when he tied me up and spanked me I was so aroused. I can't actually remember a time when I had been that wet.

" A little spanking and a loose knot is not that same as a full on BDSM scene and you know it. I can't do that Christian. Whips, belts, canes all terrify me"

" I understand that baby. I would never use anything that you aren't comfortable with."

" You want me to be a submissive?"

" No" he defiantly exclaims " In the past my submissive's have had to abide by a strict set of rules, again which exercise my need for control. I love that you challenge me, I am over the moon that you let yourself go completely when we have sex. It is a pleasure to watch you with no inhibitions. " I blush. It's not that I am prudish when it comes to discussing sex it's just I have never given the way I act during much thought. I suppose I do lose myself in the moment.

" How many submissive's have you had?"

" 12"

" 12! "I choke. " What do you look for in a submissive?"

"Please don't do this!"

" Answer the fucking question Christian"

He sighs audibly " At first I was looking for someone like Elena. Blonde hair and so on and then about 4 years ago i contracted a Brunette and something inside clicked. Flynn and I have discussed it and length and he has come up with some interesting theories on the matter"

" Flynn knows about this?!"

" Yes"

" I feel like a fool. We have been so wrapped up in each other..." Christian cuts me off

" That's a good thing baby. It's demonstrates our connection"

" But 12 submissive's Christian!"

" I know Ana."

" The puzzle is finally piecing together. Elena had nothing to worry about with these other women, they were your play-things and were definitely not a threat to her, a means to get your sexual gratification. But our relationship is unlike anything she has had to deal with. As much as I love you Christian, is risking my life worth it? Elena can clearly attend to your needs"

" Ana. I don't want her" Panic seizes him and he cups my face, wiping away tears I hadn't realised I'd shed " what I felt for the bitch wasn't even in the same realm as how i feel about you. Baby you are the one for me. The only person I have ever loved, ever let touch me, ever saw a future with. She may have given me control but you can give me a life" The sincerity glows from his grey orbs

" I want to believe you Christian but this is a lot to handle."

"Baby do you love me?"

" Of course I do but love isn't always enough"

" At the moment it is working for us. Anastasia a few days ago I was facing a life without you and I was destroyed but by some miracle you survived and I get the opportunity to shower you with my love and devotion. I will take you anyway I get can you. Ana I am a desperate man for you." His words go some way to quelling my doubts

" Christian I'm not going to give up on us but allow me some time."

" I promise. Just don't run" I nod and he seems to relax. Shifting on the bed to make room beside me, he gladly accepts my silent gesture" I am surprise at how well you have taken all of this"

" Honestly that makes two of us. Don't get me wrong I am very apprehensive about of all of it Christian and the Elena thing disturbs and terrifies me. What are you going to do about her?"

" Ana if you only knew what is going on in my head you would run for the hills. Elena is finished. She tried to take the most precious thing away from me so I am going to destroy her world"

"Please let the police handle this." Christian doesn't answer instead he pulls me carefully into his side, lifts my chin and lowers his lips to mine

" You beguile me. Baby you are so strong and brave."

" Be gentle with me" I whisper my plea

" In everything" Christian replies and once again I am lost in his kiss.

* * *

This morning I am leaving the hospital and it has been chaotic so far. Christian and Taylor have spent most of the time discussing and devising an exit strategy to rival the FBI. Mia dropped by briefly to deliver some clothes, that girl certainly knows her fashion and I was particularly grateful to have a female around. The absence of Kate rears its ugly head at times like this. Mia didn't display any hostility towards me which I found extremely surprising. Grace came in with the release papers and to give me one last check up.

In about 20 minutes I am due to leave and I find myself alone in the room for the first time since I awoke. I spend the time assembling something resembling confidence and calming the erratic nerves stirring inside. It was no use. The terror of leaving my sanctuary is gripped me tight especially in light of all the revaluations revealed in the early hours

Christian comes bounding through the door, excited about finally getting me home. This is soon evaporates when his eyes find me weeping on the bed

" Baby what's wrong?" His face etched with concern

" I can't do this Christian! Please don't make me do this!"

" Do what baby?"

" Leave here. This room. I know as soon as my foot takes a step out of the hospital they will come" Christian bundles me in his arms as best as he can without hurting me and kisses my hair  
" Nobody is getting anywhere near you. I promise."

" You can't control this Christian. These people didn't finish the job they set out to achieve. I am a walking target!"

" Is this what you needed to talk to Flynn about?" I give him a slight nod. All of those concerns I voiced to Flynn last night are coming back with a vengeance. I had somehow managed to quell them somewhat last night as i toss and turned. I pondered Flynn's words for a long time, dissecting and over analysing them but now I am faced with the reality and its a whole different ball game.

"Ana we will do this at your own pace. We have all the time in the world and I will be with you every step of the way."

" Talk me through what's going to happen" Maybe if I know all the details it will put my mind at rest a little

" Sure baby. Well as hospital policy dictates you will be transported out of here in a wheelchair but as you can't walk properly yet that is really a moot point. Sawyer will be shadowing us the whole way and security have swept the route and made sure its clear of any lurking paparazzi or other potential threats" I know he is referencing Elena and her mob "I will take you to a secure back exit where Taylor and Ryan are waiting with the SUV. It's then a matter of driving to Escala. Taylor will be with us, Ryan and Sawyer again shadowing us in two cars" _Wow this sounds like an operation fit for the president!_ " I take your safety deadly serious Ana. Trust me no matter what it costs I will do everything in my power to protect you." He seems to have mellowed a tad since last night but you can see the simmering volcano fit burst within. Blowing out a deep breath I swing my legs off of the hospital bed

" Place the wheelchair outside the door please"

Christian is completely befuddled by my request " What for Ana?"

" I need to walk out of this room." Being wheeled out isn't facing the problem head on, by walking I am in absolute control. This is the first steps, literally, in beating Elena

Rather reluctantly Christian places the chair where I asked and then steadies me by holding onto my waist as i stand. The time when I can support myself physically cannot come soon enough.

" If at any point this becomes too painful you have to tell me and I will carry you. Understand?" I nod and tentatively take my first step. I am doing remarkable well up until I reach the door, I clench the doorframe in terror. From this vantage point I am confronted with a crowd of people. Groups upon groups of people, any one of them could at some point rush at me or gun me down. My breathing becomes erratic and the shooting pains coming from my stomach are gaining in strength. Christian is whispering words of encouragement into my ear. I swivel my head to look at him

"You can do this baby" He mouths at me and places a tender kiss on my forehead

_Elena will not win. Elena will not win. Christian will protect me_

I close my eyes and shut the world out. Concentrating on the feel of Christian's hands on my body. I begin my journey once again by opening my eyes and focusing on the wheelchair. With a few more painful steps I reach my goal and Christian eases me into it. He bends down so he is aligned with my face

" I am so proud of you baby. We are going to beat this"

And for the first time since I woke up I feel hope ignite within me.

**A/N You have no idea how I pleased I am to finally finish this. Review and tell me what you think!**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N No i didn't expect an update either! Thank you so much for all your reviews for the last chapter, it means so much. This is a bit shorter than normal but a short chapter is better than no chapter **

It has been a month since the shooting and I am steadily recovering. Christian has been by my side almost continually, he only fully returned back to work a few weeks ago. I swear Ros has been a godsend, if Christian hasn't already given her a raise I will personally demand he do so. Although he has spent most of his time tending to me; Christian wouldn't be Christian if he had let his work slip, I know he trusts his senior members of staff to keep his company afloat but it's his baby. He created it, nurtured it, lived and breathed GEH for the past 8 years. I would often find him in his study or waking up to him sitting upright next to me on the bed with his laptop. I admire his devotion to me but the twinge of guilt was eating away and I forced him back to work.

Although many aspects of our relationship have developed over this period, one area which has ceased to exist has been our sex life. For the first few weeks I was out of action, it was impossible for me to walk any more than a couple of steps without the pain crippling my body so sex was definately out of the question. Christian point blank refused to touch me anyway out of fear of causing more damage. It was sweet the way he cared for me, Mr CEO is the last person i was expecting to step up to the plate; he has opened his home to me, an issue we still are debating to this day. I know he plans to ask me to permanently move in but i still hold my stance that is it too soon. There is a huge part of me however which is desperate to take the leap, i love this man, i see a future with him and living together would just cement our commintment to each other but for the first time in a while i had finally managed to regain some independence. Before I had been dating Elliot for 6 months and it was a very all consuming relationship to say the least. Before and during Elliot i was living with Kate, so again sharing my home. When all the shit at Christmas went down and i made that breakthrough at the beach after my confrontation with Elliot i vowed to start afresh, it felt as if i was leaving my teenage/college years behind and beginning my new life as an adult; a new job, apartment and boyfriend. By moving into Escala i would effectively be giving up this new Ana before i ever got to fully experience it. Speaking of my new job, i am itching to return. I brought the topic up with Christian a few days ago and my idea was shot down in flames, his dominant personality in full steam. I know he is only trying to protect me and i admittedly was wary as well, he didnt give me the opportunity to explain however. Elena and her muderous crew haven't been found yet and fear on the matter is something i have to tame and control practically every moment of everyday, i was going to suggest that i work from Escala. It would be simply enough for Jack to email me work to complete and i would then have something to occupy my mind. Christian got the wrong end of the stick and point blank refused to hear me out; disobeying me from work and then storming out of the room to sulk in his study, something i have noticed he does frequently when his is fustrated or angry, these days mostly at me. I appreciate the fact he is leaning how to be in a normal functional relationship, without the whips, canes and contracts, but i really wish he would stay and talk to me about what is irking him so much. I have had this type of behaviour develop in my relationships before, his brother is case in point, and i will do anything i can do prevent this from happening again. I love Christian more than i have loved anyone else and to lose him because of lack of communication simply isnt an option.

Joanne my physio has just left after another punnishing session so i make my way to Christian's vast bathroom to shower and change for his arrival home, I want to show him the improvements i have achieved today. I enter Christian's bathroom and head for the vanity unit but i am halted by the gigantic mirror towering above it. I have tried my hardest, and succeeded may i add, not to look at my battered stomach. It has helped that it has been bandaged up but even when Grace or the nurse Christian arranged come to Escala everyday to change them I refused to look. My other injuries have all but faded away; there is still a little evidence of the glass cuts on my arm but i have had the sitiches removed, the bruises which littered my body especially on my face have disappeared and except from a minor short term memory issue my head is fine.

Personally I don't think my body is anything to shout off the rooftops about but one thing I have always be slightly proud of has been my stomach, maybe its because of my small appetite but i have always been slight of frame. It is very diffcult for me to put on a great deal of weight, a blessing to many women but for me it has always been a hindrance, i like curves and although i'm not supermodel thin i would love a more curvaceous silhouette. I have lost a considerable amount of weight since the incident again a topic Christian is constantly on my case about, practically forcing feeding me or making sure i am fed every three hours. I remove the sweats and baggy t-shirt, the fashion option of choice when one has had 3 gunshot wounds and lounges around in bed all day as per request of their over protective boyfriend, so I am left in just my panties and bra. The large white bandage covering the effects of the shooting stands out like a flashing neon sign to me so no wonder what Christian thinks when he sees it. He generally avoids looking in that direction but when it does catch his eye I have caught him flinching at the sight which honestly only fuels my insecurities. Deciding to finally bite the bullet, pun unintended, I release a long breath and carefully unwrap the gauze. Once finished I stare at the unveiled flesh and gasp. Over my petite slim middle are three rather large ugly scars, the skin twisted and angry red, the sitches holding my skin together look like they come straight from a Halloween film. They look repulsive. Running my fingertips over the outline of the damaged skin i shiver at the texture, how am i ever going to feel comfortable enough to allow Christian to touch me. I will never feel sexy again and the thought of being naked physically makes me feel sick. Unable to look at my disfigured body anymore i remove the remaining items of clothing and walk into the shower unit. I turn on the water to scolding hot and stand underneath the spray. Christian's sexual appetite is unlike anything i have ever experienced before; we all like sex but this man takes it too new levels. He is always ready to perform and before the shooting it is a trait i constantly took advantage of. In some respects i have already asked too much of him. Christian has given up his BDSM lifestyle for me; a lifestyle which provided him with disapline and control, i may not have asked him to do it but he values our relationship enough to make a huge change in his life. If i can't satisfy him with "Vanilla" as he calls it i haven't got a hope in hell of keeping him, Elena would have won. Desperate to hide myself within the safety of my clothes i rush through the rest of the shower, dashing away tears as i reflect on the damage this is having on my relationship and inevitable loss of Christian. Resisting the urge to look in the mirror once again i wrap the warm fresh towel around my dripping body and start my moisturising routine. Suddenly the door swings open startling me.

"Oh there you are" Christian exclaims flustered

"Where else would i be" I mutter, pulling the towel tighter. Something flashes across Christian's eyes; maybe the fact i am sitting on the edge of the tub practically naked or maybe its whatever lead him to worry about my whereabouts, usually Elena related, i have no idea.

"You should be in bed" Christian's new catchphrase

" I needed a shower, Joanne just left" Even i recognise how despondant my voice is

"What's wrong baby?"

" Nothing Christian." I huff " Can you just leave so I can finish getting ready"

" Why, you've never had a problem getting ready in front of me before"

" Christian just leave!" My raised voice takes him by surprise and he knows not to push the issue so returns to the bedroom. I follow his dejected frame and slam the door behind him. I know I shouldn't take this out on Christian, he hasn't done anything wrong but I can't bear the thought of him touching me right now. I saw the flash of arousal in his eyes when he found me only in a towel rubbing myself with moisturiser, he is a man afterall a very virile man at that and I know at the current moment he wouldn't make a move but that isn't going to last much longer, soon he is going to want sex.

Christian is leaning on the wall opposite the bathroom door as I exit the room, i expected nothing different.

" Are you going to tell me why you won't let me within touching distances of you? This isn't the first time you have pushed my away" Christian whispers. He is hurt. The last thing I wanted to do is hurt him. Tears well in my eyes as I sit on the edge of Christian's giant bed, he moves swiftly and crouches down in front of me balancing himself on my knees. I have to be honest with him, in the few sessions I've had with Dr Flynn since i left the hospital he has hammered home the issue of communication as its one of my biggest fears.

" I'm repulsive"

A gasp fills the room and a tender hand cups my face but I push it away. I don't want his sympathy

" Why the fuck would you say that! You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on"

" Christian I don't need your pity or bullshit. My stomach is ruined, my self confidence is shattered into a million pieces much like the glass that sliced my arm" I throw my the offending body part into his face to enforce the point"

" Ana you are being stupid. It will all heal" This comment enrages me and I leap up heading for the massive walk in closet

" You haven't seen it Christian. It is disgusting" My face screws up. I reach the chester draws at the back of the closet and pull out the content

" See these?" I hold up a handful of bikinis Christian bought when he decided to buy me a whole new wardrobe for Escala much to my disgust. He nods bemused " I will never be able to wear these again. And as for this" I produce an item of the expensive lingerie. It is gorgeous, red lace with garter straps hanging from the bottom, the bra extenuates my bust and bodice clings to body, there is a red lace thong which accompanies it. It was the piece I was most excited about wearing, the first item I noticed when Christian proudly showed off his over the top gift and through my shock and anger I was secretly dying to try this on. Now it's just a symbol of my old self, the girl who liked to feel sexy and was confident in the bedroom. " Even the sight of it puts the fear of god in me Christian. Do you know what that means? It means she has succeeded because it turns out now I can't please you afterall. Not only can I not do the things you like to do now I can't have sex at all. Why would you want me? You might as well call her right this minute and tell Elena you will take her back because she was right I'm not the one for you" My insecurities are spilling out like the Niagara Falls. I continue to toss out all the underwear and fling in every direction. Finally Christian snaps out of the shocked trance he was trapped in and rushes towards me. Grabbing my wrist he pulls me away from the draws and up against the wall. He lips are on me in an instance. Rough, passionate, urging like he is trying to climb inside my mouth. His tongue tangled with mine. He drags himself away and leans his forehead against mine

" Don't. You. Ever. Talk. About. Yourself. Like . That. Again.

" Christian..."

" No Ana stop! I will not have you talking like that. I do not care what your stomach looks like"

" You say that but I've seen the way you grimace when it catches your eye, and that's with the bandage on. I have just seen it off, it's not a pretty sight"

" Do you know why I find it so difficult? It's because the guilt I feel is killing me Ana. It's niggling away at me, it haunts me at night. Because of my past your life has been altered forever and coming to terms with that is not easy let me tell you. Piled on is the fact I can't find the bitch to give you some justice. I am useless Ana

" No Christian. You have been more that brilliant throughout this"  
"Offering you my home is the least i could do seeing as this is all my fault."

"Stop blaming yourself. This is Elena's doing not anybody elses. You are a good man Christian and yes you may have some issues but don't we all" I say as my sight falls to my stomach. I want to reassure him and i know the only way he understand is though sex. I can already feel his growing erection against my belly and i have to hold back a groan. Confused, so confused. His hand reaches for my breast, slowing massaging my nipple through my shirt as he nips at my neck

" Christian I can't..."

" Shh beautiful girl. Let me take care of you." Christian sweeps me up into his strong arms and carries me through to the bed, gently placing me upon as if I were a valuable antique. He unbuttons his shirt and unbuckles his belt before shuffling out of them. Once fully naked he looms over my fully clothed body and reaches for my hand. Taking a deep breath he then lays it on his hard pectorial, upon his heart.

" Yours. Only for you. It has only ever belonged to you" He then moves my hand over his scars, the tiny circles dotted around his chest.I brush my fingertip ober them, he has never allowed me to touch them

" I know what it feels like to have your body tainted by horrible memories." His breathing is rapid " Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you."  
He lifts up my loose fitting t-shirt and brushes his lips over my scars " I will love these just as much as I love the rest of you" I officially swoon like a teenager.

" Who are you and what have you done with Christian?" I giggle through my tears

" Honestly Ana I haven't got a clue. I am a completely different man when I am with you. You make me a better person"

" Ditto." I cup the nape of his neck and drag his head up. I'm still extremely wary of him being down there. We lie cheek to cheek just holding each other, feeling each other's warmth.

" Make love to me Christian" I whisper. I need this. I want to forget about Elena, shootings, apartments, clothes and everything else that has been loaded on me. It has to be just Christian and I, connected in the closest possible way.

In a matter of seconds my clothes have been expertly removed and Christian's mouth is encased around my hardened nipple. The little nub is sucked and licked before its twin recieves the same attention. The butterflies fluttering around inside of me are dying down with every gentle caress. Gone is the brutish, sexual animal Christian usually portrays, the man lavishing me with his mouth and delicate hands is a man in love, worshipping his woman and washing away her doubts

Christian entwines our fingers and holds them next to my head. I wrap my legs around his waist as he slides his hard stiff length slowly into my dripping sex, letting me feel every inch of him. Christian's kisses match his slow lazy thrusts, our tongues stroking and caressing. He pulls away from my mouth and peppers my face with gentle pecks eventually resting his forehead against mine as he continues to glide his cock inside of me. The tears leak out of my closed eyes, I truly love this man and I love the way he loves me. Feeling drops of wetness tumble onto my cheeks I open my eyes and I stare straight into his saddened orbs

" I thought I had lost you. I thought i would never experience being inside you again, never before did i savour the way you cloak and pulsate around my cock. " He sobs " Never leave me Ana"

" Never" He kisses my tears away and finally increase his pace. I tighten my hold on him as my climax builds

" I love you Christian"

"Say it again" He grunts

" I. Love. You" I say between each thrust then fall into my silent release.

" Oh baby I love you too so so much" Christian exclaims as he too climaxes and stills. We lay there for god knows how long, neither one of us willing to break our precious connection. We may face dangers and obstacles, disagree and fight and drive each other insane but when it comes down to it we will always have this. The ability to sait each others fears and block out the rest of the world and return to our bubble.

Elena beat that!

**A/N I know it wasn't the normal hot, sweaty, dirty fuckfest we all love but i felt this needed to be sweet and emotional. I hope you don't mind. Once again let me know what what you thought!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Well I was hoping to get this written and posted on Friday but I was forced out and subsequently spent Saturday recovering. So to make up for it here is a long chapter; there is sex, twists, secrets, drama, reveals, sex oh and a bit more sex **

**Oh and thank you so much for your reviews on the last chapter, you have no idea how much they mean to me**

Christian and I have spent the rest of the day curled up in bed; talking, laughing, kissing and generally enjoying each other. Although Christian has been very attentive since my release from hospital it is very rare that I get his full undivided attention and I love it. Interrupting us from our love bubble is my phone bleeping away constantly, it's very unusual that its mine instead of Christian's . After the fifth time I reluctantly drag myself away from my makeshift pillow, otherwise known as Christian's chest, and lean over to see who is blowing up my phone. My mood takes a sudden downhill swirl when I find its Kate. Refusing to let her spoil my precious time with Christian, I switch off my handset without reading what she has to say. I simply don't care.

" Who was that baby?"

" No one important"

" You sure"

" Completely" desperate to distract him i graze my lips against his stubbly jaw as my wandering hand travels down his hard sinew chest, the deliciously defined abs clenching at my touch. I reach the top of the sheet which is inconveniently covering the lower half of his Adonis like body

" Ana..." Christian groans knowing exactly what's coming. Instead of going straight for the kill I decide to tease his sturdy cock through the bed sheet, gripping it softly and running my thumb over his tip. I feel his cock jerking in my hand, begging for more.

" Ana please" The writhing man pleads. Well isn't this a turn up for the books; the dominant being dominated by little ole me, more surprisingly he is allowing it. Of all the times I've had to pleasantly endure his seemingly endless sexual torture and now the shoe is on the other foot and I am enjoying it immensely.

I place large, wet kisses along his broad shoulder as my naughty hand seductively caresses its way up his large rock hard length before finally dipping inside the bed sheet veil to find its goal

" Yesss" Christian hisses whilst throwing his head back as I wrap my fingers around his jerking cock. I can tell it is taking all the will and concentration in the world to resist his orgasm, giving me a clear understanding of just how practiced he really is at commanding his control and it finally hits home with a thud just how much he must feel for me to allow that restraint to slip. Although this fruition isn't entirely new it is the first time I have realised the extent of the power he has unwittingly gifted to me. The idea sparks my lust for him and i feel the urging desperation to taste him, feel him, to bring him pleasure and satisfy his needs, I head down his body and take him in my mouth. Christian sighs in contentment as my tongue flicks over his throbbing head.

" That's it baby suck me" I take his soft but firm cock as far as I can until he hits the back of my throat

" Fuck Ana" His husky voice is laced with amazement. I look up at him through my eyelashes to discover him gazing down, watching me intently and pushing the hair off my face and down onto one side so he can get the full inhibited adulterated view. I smirk and guide my wet mouth back up, sucking hard and loudly as a go. Christian cups my bobbing head with his strong hands, the hands which can bring me to my knees the second they touch my sensitive skin, and moans loudly. The small intermittent bursts of pre cum are spurring me on so i continue to suck harder and faster, running my tongue along my Christian Grey lollypop, humming softly ensuring vibrations pulse along his engorged length and stroking him where my mouth can't reach. I can tell he is on the verge of orgasm as his thighs bunch with tension and his breathing is becoming erratic. I lift my eyes once again and they become locked under his intense stare, it's intimate, erotic and apparently all he needs to come undone. Christian stops my eager mouth by holding my head firmly whilst he thrusts and soon comes loudly and wetly, spurting thick amounts of his seed. His orgasm is so powerful his grip on my head loosens and I take the opportunity to milk him to the very end.

I release his softening cock from my mouth with a pop and brush my lips with my finger gathering any remaindering leftover of his cum and sucking it off.

" Woman you are going to kill me" Christian is slumped against the headboard trying to gain some semblance to his breathing. I giggle and return to my spot beside him

" We aim to please Mr Grey" unconsciously biting my lip which encourages Christian to pull my chin and attach his tempting lips in it's place. I hear shuffling outside and a minute later a timid knock at the door

" Yes" Christian growls, annoyed that we are being disturbed

" Sir you have a visitor" Christian sighs as he leaves the bed, pulls on a pair of sweats that hang perfectly of his chiseled hips and waltz out the door and into the great room, his swoon-worthy chest exposed.

Intrigue gets the better of me and I decided to follow him, grabbing my silk thigh skimming robe on my way out. As I reach the great room I recognise a familiar voice and my temper ignites immediately especially when I remember Christian's state of undress. There standing in the middle of the opulent room is my former best friend, her red rimmed eyes boring into me

" Ana..." I put a hand up to stop her. Silently urging Christian to retreat back into his bedroom and to my relief he seems to understand and walks in that direction, he reaches me and stalls

" At least hear her out then you can tell her to leave... Oh and no cat fights as much as that would be totally hot I know for a fact you are naked under this robe." Christian hooks a finger inside the lapels of the silk" I don't care that she is a girl, nobody else touches you" He whispers his warning then stalks off only turning his head back and mouthing " Mine". I lovingly grin at him as I watch the muscles in his taught backside dance as he moves. _Gah! Playful, jealous, naked Christian_. What I wouldn't give to follow him back Into that room but right now I have to deal with Judas.

" What do you want Kate" I sigh. I am beyond tired of dealing with this bullshit. Having 3 bullets lodged inside your body and nearly dying as a result really puts what is important into perspective and this certainly isn't at the top of that list. I have already heard what she had to say, honestly I don't know what more she can add. Nothing will make a difference. She made her bed, now she must lie in it. _And I should be in Christian's bed_

" You look better"

" Well I should hope so the last time you saw me I had just woken up from major abdominal surgery, If I wasn't looking better somebody at the hospital didn't do their job properly" my voice could not drip with anymore sarcasm.

" How is the recovery going?" Kate enquires completely disregarding my bitchy manner.

I shrug " It's going as well as can be expected. Look Kate can we cut the small talk, what did you want?"

" Can we sit" she gestures to the couch and I reluctantly take a place. Christian is right I need to get this out of the way as quickly as possible so I can get rid

" How's Elliot?" I ask sweetly and in return I receive the full on Katherine Kavanagh glare.

" I haven't seen Elliot since Christmas, you would know this if you answered your phone once in a while" _Is she angry at me! Seriously!_

" Yeah well my life has been pretty traumatic recently, you would know that if you hadn't been fucking my boyfriend"

" Ana if I could take this all back I would you know that. It's all such a mess"

" Your telling me! Are you actually going to tell me why you are wasting my time"

" I thought you were dead" this statement floors me.

" I don't understand"

" It was like a nightmare. The day was just going from bad to worse. I was sort of in a daze, wandering through the hospital. I remember pushing through the big swing doors and being confronted with a scene which could have easily been plucked straight from some film or hospital drama. Everyone was frantic, there was so many people pushing and shoving and blood seemed to smeared everywhere I looked. I remember thinking that whoever was lying on that bed was in a lot of trouble and that when I saw him. Christian. Looking more haunted and pale then I even knew possible, his cheeks were tear strained and he was grasping a hand. That's when you were wheeled past me. Ana my heart stopped and my world crumbled. You may not like me very much at the moment but that doesn't change the fact that before all this shit we were closer than most sisters so to watch you dying in front of my eyes is the most harrowing image i will ever see in my entire life. I knew I had a slim to zero chance of getting close to you or finding out any information from the nurse, I even attempted to gain some insight by claiming to be family but of course Christian's security were on high alert and had made sure that no one was told anything so I just hung about hoping and praying you would pull through. That's when I saw Christian walking aimlessly thought the hospital wards and eventually enter the chaplaincy" I sit there gaping at her. Is she hoping that this little sob story will get her back into my good books, I understand that seeing me in the state I was in would affect her, i would be the same if I was in that position regardless of our feud; but this doesn't change what she did, it doesn't take away the hurt I feel when I look at her. I don't think anything ever will.

" You shouldn't be angry at Christian for being a bit more sympathetic towards me, I was just there at the right time" A pang of rage strikes through me, I don't want her anywhere near Christian especially when he was in such a vulnerable state, my fist clench in my lap " He loves you Ana"

" Elliot loved me before you came along" I snipe

" He still does"

A disbelieving laugh escapes " Whatever. It doesn't matter now does it? He has you"

" Except he doesn't"

" What"

" I lost you because of what we did, we both ruined our relationship with you. It doesn't feel the same"

I sarcastically clap " Do you want me to praise you for that Kate. What did you expect? I would be angry for a little bit then you would come round and beg for forgiveness then little weak doormat Ana would fall at your feet and welcome your cheating ass back into her life. Sorry that didn't work out for you there Kate, I grew some balls and actually got a back bone. The two people I trusted broke me apart and I lost a massive piece of my heart. I'm over this Kate"

" Don't you think I know all this Ana. "

" Then why are you here" I shout

" I am in trouble Ana"

" I don't care" I callously retort avoiding eye contact with the traitor beside me

" Please"

I sigh and turn my head. Kate is fidgeting nervously, she looks tired, pale and drawn. I am not going to lie seeing her in such a mess tugs at my heart strings. Kate is always the life and soul, glamorous and feisty, the woman now is a shell of her former self.

" What is it Kate?"

Eventually she speaks

" I'm pregnant" it's barely a whisper but to me it was as loud as a foghorn

" WHAT!" I scream

" I'm sorry" she stares at me wide eyed

" Get out!"

Christian comes scrambling through, concerned no doubt by the noise " What is going on" he implores

" Oh you will never guess, Kate here has only gone and got herself pregnant. And your brother is the father I take it" I ask pointedly at her and Kate nods

" Fuck!"

" Yeah. Why the hell didn't you use protection Kate!"

" We did! Most of the time. We got carried away sometimes"

" Do you not realised how at risk you have put not only me but now Christian. You stupid idiot" I am pacing away the floorboards.

" Have you told Elliot yet?" Christian asks, his face looks impassive but I can see the simmering anger behind those grey eyes  
" No. I can't bring myself to do it. He has rung a few times but I have not answered. What am I going to do?"

" Is this why you were at the hospital when I was brought in"

" Yes. I was sick all week and thought it was just a virus or something. I only took a pregnancy test to rule it out but it came back positive. I went to get it confirmed"

" I can't believe this" I turn to face Christian, angry tears threatening to fall. He gathers me up into his arms and I bury my face into his chest.

" How far along are you?" He asks

" 13 weeks" The levels of betrayal are multiplying by the minute. Their disgusting behaviour has now produced a child. How am I ever going to look at that innocent being without feeling resentment and pain. The stress of this announcement is cause my stomach to hurt, so I remove myself from the life raft known as Christian and head for the bathroom to retrieve my pain medication.

" Ana?" Kate and Christian call after me

" I need to take some pills, be back in just a minute"

Did I do something wrong? Am I a bad person? I must be because one bad thing after another keeps happening. I have tried for the majority of my life to be a good person, make sensible and responsible decisions, try and stand on my own two feet and be kind to those I come into contact with. In the space of a month everything I have built my life upon , the relationships I have created and spent time on and giving my heart too have come crumbling down in spectacular fashion. Now new threats have been introduced; Elena and this new baby. There might be an enormous spectrum between the two but when it comes down to it they both have the potential to cause a gigantic amount of danger. Returning to the great room I once again cling to Christian and an awkward silence penetrates the atmosphere

" Do you want me to inform Elliot of your pregnancy?" Christian's authoritative manner breaks the tension

" Um... If that's ok. It might be better if it came from you" Kate murmurs and I snort. Somehow she even manages to weasel herself out of this as well. Christian takes his phone out and dial's his brothers number and confusingly puts it on speakerphone

" Hi?" Elliot's bemused voice crackles through

" Hi. Are you free tomorrow?"

" Sure. Why?"

" I was wondering if you could come to Escala. I need to speak to you"

" Sure I can swing by. Is everything ok?"

" I fill you in tomorrow. Say around 3!"

" Yeah okay. See you then"

Christian hangs up without a farewell as usual. I am saddened that their relationship is still strained. Christian told me that Elliot had got in touch a few times when I was in the hospital and they have began to slowly reacquaint. Throughout the phone call Kate and I occasionally glanced at one another, I feel like she is a infection perpetrating my safe bubble. Escala has become my little haven recently as its the only place I feel protected and loved. Now she is here bring her negative aura and I want her out.

Christian steps up and takes control of the matter " There is not much we can do for you Kate. I will speak with my brother and get a better handle on the situation after tomorrow. I suggest you leave, this isn't helping either of you. Taylor will see you out" Kate nods and stands as Taylor enters. It looks like she is about to head towards me for a hug and kiss like old times, it was our small tradition the little bit of affection between best of friends, she seems to remember herself and quickly recovers

" Ana, Christian. Thanks for hearing me out" she smiles tentatively at me but I dismiss it. The elevator dings I know she has gone, my body sags in relief.

" You ok baby?" Christian worriedly asks as his tugs on my hair to tilt my head

" I am now" I grip his wrists and nuzzle into strong arm

" You wanna talk about this"

I shake my head " No but I think Dr Flynn may have his work cut out with this one" I joke in attempt to lighten the mood.

Christian studies my face then clutches me close to his body " Promise me you will open up. I am here for you always"

" I know. I need a little time, she has dropped a massive bomb on me and I cannot do anything about it. There isn't a chance i am going to forgiven them though."

" I admire you Ana" He brush his lips over mine " So strong"

* * *

The days following Kate's bombshell have been blissful. Christian has taken it upon himself to help me forget, and by forget I mean distract me with sweet gestures like flowers when I wake up in the morning, keeping the conversation light and sex. Lots of sex. Despite his best efforts there have been times where I have struggled. My therapy sessions with Flynn are always the worst, I don't know why but I do tend to spill my darkest fears to this man but in return we are slowly making progress on my recovery. Kate's pregnancy has put us on a back foot however. I am finding myself hiding behind a facade when the topic arises, at first I refused to acknowledge it was happening but Flynn soon put a stop to that. That little life growing inside of Kate is a product of love. Kate and Elliot clearly love each other, both have admitted it, and I think that is the aspect I am having a hard time coming terms with.

Elliot's reaction was a not a great one as I understand. Christian made sure I was completely out of the way when he arrived at Escala. Apparently Elliot was scanning the place for me, an act which angered Christian a great deal. Christian said Elliot was extremely shocked and upset, he left the building on the warpath and we haven't heard anything since.

Christian and I have just enjoyed an  
exquisite romantic meal prepared by the genius that is Gail Jones, Christian housekeeper. The food is out of this world, I have no idea why she is here Mrs Jones should be in a top restaurant as head chef. Christian has been relaxed this evening and it is a joy. I plan to show how grateful I am for all that he has done for me by suggesting we play a little. BDSM scares the shit out of me still, nothing has changed in that respect but I want to do this for him. We will have to take it slow, my inexperience and injuries prohibiting any hardcore shit, but an introduction wouldn't do any harm. As our meal winds down I decide to approach the topic with the man himself

" Baby?"

" Hmmm"

" I want to do something"

His eyes immediately darken" Oh yeah what do you have in mind Anastasia?"

" I want to sub for you"

Gone is any trace of arousal it is replaced by fear. I quickly scramble to my feet and climb into his lap

" Ana... I can't..."

" Christian I am willing do this"

" Oh Ana, thank you for that but I won't risk what we have for anything"

" Don't you want to take me in there?"

Even though I have never seen it, Christian has explained his " Playroom" to me. I guessed it was behind the door which is always locked

" Of course I do baby but I don't want to hurt you."

" You won't Christian. I trust you"

I see the argument taking place in his head.

" You will of course have to be gentle with me but we can try" My words do nothing to dispel his worry so I stand and take his hand. I drag him up the stairs and stop outside the locked door. Christian is standing behind me so I place his hands on my breast as I lean back and cup his neck, directing his gaze to me

" Fuck me Christian"

I am tied to a cross by my wrists. Naked. Christian is sauntering around the room in just a pair of ripped, faded jeans. The top button is undone and his happy trail is sneaking up through the opening. I long to run my tongue up it but as I am tied up this idea is dashed away. He opens a draw and takes out a number of items ensuring he obscures then from my view. A heightened sense of awareness tingles through my body, the anticipation Christian is creating is torture. Suddenly an instrumental classical piece fills the room and surprisingly arouses me. The music is sensual and erotic and paired with the dimmed lighting achieves that mysterious ambiance.

Christian finally returns to me but stands out of touching distance. The look in his eyes is one I have never witnessed before. Dom mode.

" Promise me you will stop this if it gets too much"

" Yes"

Christian raise a questioning eyebrow. Oh I forgot when we came in he explained the rules.

" Umm.. Yes sir"

" Good Girl. I mean it Anastasia, safe words?

" Yellow and red"

" Use them" He implores

" Yes Sir"

" I want you to close your eyes. I know we agreed on no blindfold but I would really like you to fully experience the sensations. You can open them at any time but I would ask you try"

I take a deep breath then close my eyes as per his request. I entered this room hoping to finally get some understanding of the appeal. I know this wont be any where near Christian's usual experiences In here but I want a taste.

After what seems like an age, I sense his body close to mine. His lips make contact with my skin, the valley between my beasts. I gasp

" Hush baby" He runs a soft object across my stomach and I immediately tense

" No!" The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it and I open my eyes

" Ana?" My Christian is back, the Dom has disappeared

" Not my stomach, please not there"

" Okay baby" He kisses me chastely and I once again surrender myself to him. The object runs up both my arms, across my collarbone and down to the tops of my breast. By now I have determined the object to be a feather. The feather strokes every inch of my full breast except the place i am yearning for. My hardened nipples

" Please Christian"

" Oh what did I say Anastasia. In here I am Sir." Before I can answer a loud slap comes down on my behind

" Ahhhh"

The feather continues to tease and avoid my nipples. I pull on my restraints and bite down on my lip preventing me from begging him. Eventually the feather makes contact with my sensitive numb and it take every ounce of control not to come. The sensation is devine and groan in appreciation, my pussy is dripping. Christian latches onto the other one and sucks hard

" Yess Sir, oh yes!" I arch into his mouth and he bites down causing me to spiral into my orgasm. I am in the midst of my pleasure when Christian detaches himself from me and stoops to pick something up. Christian scoops up the juices streaming down my thigh, sucks it off his finger then plunges them into my soaked pussy

" Baby you are so wet. "

I moan loudly as he begins to slide his fingers quickly in and out.

" Don't come Ana." What! How am I suppose to stop myself climaxing!? Is he crazy?

I about to argue when a buzzing sound grabs my attention. There in Christian's free hand is a vibrator. He unhurriedly runs it up the inside of my leg

" Remember Ana, don't come."

" Yes Sir" I reply breathlessly. In this moment i would do anything he asked. And then the vibrator is on my clit. Holy fuck that's good! Christian rotates it around my tender little bundle as he continues to finger fuck me. I can feel my climax approaching at lightening speed

" Ahhhh. Fuck. Christian... I can't... So good... Ahh"

" Good girl Ana. Keep going baby"

" Please" I beg

He removes his fingers completely replacing them with the vibrating stick. Christian pushes his drenched fingers into my mouth and suck off my arousal causing him to growl.

No longer able to resist, Christian quickly drops the vibrator, unties me from the cross and carries my over sensitive body to the bed draped in a blood red sheet. Christian lowers me to the floor and turns me away from him.

" Bend over. Lower half of your body on the bed and that glorious ass in the air baby" I do as instructed giving him unfettered access.  
He grabs a pillow from the top and places it underneath my stomach. This sweet act is not lost on me but is soon is forgotten as his hands caress my backside

" Now you called me Christian numerous times even though you have already had a warning. That deserves a punishment, don't you agree Miss Steele?"

" Whatever you feel is necessary Sir"

" Oh see, you've got the hang of this baby. I think 10 should do it" 10 what?

The first blow shocks me but doesn't scare. It felt good. The second comes soon after hitting me perfectly in between my thighs, striking not only on my ass but also my sex. I moan loudly, who would have thought I would love getting spanked so much. The 10 blows are soon over and Christian swiftly enters me from behind and I come instantly. Christian continues to pound relentlessly into me, grabbing my hair as he thrusts. The pillow is helping to soften any pain arising but I am more focused on being fucked senseless.

" Fuck Ana. You are so tight baby. I love being inside of you" I push my behind further into him and reveal in the sound of his balls slapping against my skin.

It's not long before another orgasm is sneaking up on me and I succumb to it, screaming Christian's name. A few more deep thrusts and the man himself climaxes

" Ana... Ana. Fuuuck!"

He pulls out and scoops me up before I fall on my belly and climbs into the bed, holding me against his heaving chest.

" How was that baby?"

" Amazing" I grin up at him

" Glad to be of service Miss Steele"

* * *

I am once again alone. Christian has been called into the office on emergency business. The phone call did ruin the moment entirely, I was basking in post orgasmic glow in the playroom when the doomed call came in. I understand his obligations of course but sometimes I forget I have to share him with GEH.

I figure as I am fine to have fairly adventurous sex I am able to return to work, at home at least. Christian reticences won't stop me, I have to work surely he can relate. I head for Christian's study, it feels like I am intruding on his personal space but I need to use the computer to email Jack. I switch it on and wait for it to load, absentmindedly skimming through the papers scattered along his desk, they all look very important.  
As soon as the computer is ready an email icon pops up on screen and I open it just as a shortcut to the programme, I don't intended to pry even more than I already am just be being in this room. The page opens and displays an email from a L. Willliams. That's strange. The name is vaguely familiar. The subject line reads " Us".

I scroll down the page and my heart is in my mouth.

" My dearest Christian

This has all gotten rather out of hand don't you think. Only you have the power to stop this, so the longer you resist the more that plaything of yours will suffer.

Make the right choice baby

Yours forever

Elena

P.s I have attached a video as a small reminder. We are undeniable baby"

I am going to be sick. Morbid curiosity overwhelms me and I stupidly click on the link

A video begins to play. The room I am currently sitting in is on screen only Christian is sitting in my place. The date located at the bottom of the screen informs me that this was filmed just over a year ago. Elena enters the room and catches Christian's attention instantaneously. I reach for the speakers and turn up the volume.

" Elena, of what do i owe the pleasure?" He grins

" I thought I would drop by and see how my favourite man is doing"

" I'm ok. Lelia just left, she is meeting some friend Jack I think she said his name was"

" Your okay with that?"

" Not really but she will find that out next week when I make her ass nice and red" Christian smirks and Elena laughs smugly.

" Poor girl. I was actually hoping you would look over some specs for me, the salons are needing a revamp as a partner in them and a dear friend your opinion means a great deal to me"

" Just a dear friend, baby you wound me" he places a dramatic hand over his heart

" Oh you are much more than friend" Elena winks and lays the plans over his desk.

The next 10 minutes is nothing more than two business people working, it then takes a dark turn as Elena rounds the desk to point something out. She stands far too close to Christian, her ass rubbing against his crotch. Elena is wearing a tight black shirt, a pencil skirt and sky high heels. Even I notice how sexy she looks, for her age Elena is extremely attractive. Christian positions his hands on her derrière and starts to stroke. I see the smile tug at her lips as she unbuttons her shirt. They continue to talk like nothing is happening. This is a game, one which they are both very skilled at. Elena's shirt is hanging open and she pulls down the straps of her lace black bra to expose her breasts. She is bent over Christian desk, tits swaying as he gyrates against her.

" Mmmm that feels good baby" Elena purrs.

Christian unzips his pants and pulls out his hard erection. He leans over and whispers " I can't wait to be inside you baby. It's been too long"

This is killing me, literally shredding my heart into pieces. I know I should stop but I can't. This Is the closet I will ever come to unveiling the real relationship between these two. I am pulled from my thoughts by a loud wanton moan. Elena has been divested of her remaining clothes, Christian's pants have been completely removed he now stands with his open shirt on. Christian Is spanking Elena. Hard. So much harder than he ever had with me. About 15 times in he grabs the ruler on his desk and continues to hit her, his cock standing to full attention. Elena is loving it, begging for more and keening for him. He suddenly stops and falls back into his office chair stroking his cock.

" Play with yourself for me baby" he demands. Those eyes blaze with lust.

Elena perches on the edge and spreads her legs wide open, her feet resting upon the chair. Christian is sitting directly in front of her. Elena plays with her clit, thrusts her fingers  
through her fold, rubbing her juices around, over her nipples, sucking on them. My boyfriend opens a draw and retrieves some clips, he attached them to her nipples and pulls. I have never seen Christian masturbate this hard, he wants her so bad. Unshed tears cloud my eyes. In one blistering move he stands and impales her on his cock, wildly fucking. Grunting and swearing

" Christian baby! Yes faster! "

" Fucking hell baby. Your pussy is my home!" His hand circles her neck as he leans down to kiss her. Not once does she touch his chest, a small lining of hope. He didn't lie when he said I am the only person who has had that privilege.

Elena is the first to reach her peak, gripping the desk tightly

" Fuck Christian. Fuck!"

It takes Christian longer, he is always right behind with me but with Elena it doesn't come as easy.

" Come in my mouth baby" Elena hops off the desk and kneels in front of him. Christian jerks off in his hand violently and sure enough spurts all over her face.

I press pause and reach over to grab the garbage can to vomit.

I have to get out of here

Without shutting the computer down I rush out of the office and down to the bedroom. I hastily shove random clothes into a sports bag, grab my purse and head for the elevators ensuring there are no security around. I manage to make it down into the lobby and out onto the street to flag down a cab. Right now I couldn't give a shit about the dangers I could face by leaving alone I just need to get away. I climb into a taxi and see Sawyer bounding towards me screaming my name. I give the driver the address to my apartment and we speed off.

Unaware of the danger hot on my tail.

**A/N This. Took. Forever. I hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry for the C and E scene. Tell me what you think and i will try my best to reply to you xo**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N So the last chapter caused a little bit of a stir. I feel an explanation is needed. I debated for ages about including the Christian and Elena video, I do think it helps to understand just how desperate and evil Elena is, she organised a shooting after all. It helps to keep in mind that their relationship is a lot different to that in the book, Christian is a grown man and has been sleeping with this woman for 10 years, the reasons for that coming up! I totally get why people found it hard to read, it was hard to write but it will be a catalyst in this story in many different ways. Having said that I loved everyone's opinion on the chapter.**

**Christian POV**

Sitting in my office at GEH my mind starts to wonder. Today has been full of surprises, never in a million years did I expect Ana to bring up the playroom and actively encourage we go in there. I have been terrified of broaching the subject with her even though I have reluctantly informed Ana of some of the details of BDSM but not to any great extent. Surprisingly I am very content with our vanilla lifestyle, it satisfies me more that I could possibly imagine and that I feel is down to my Ana.

There is a knock at the door and Welch comes barging in, if it were any other employee I would not stand for such rude behavior but allowances are made for this man, he does a lot for me.

" Welch"

"Mr Grey, I apologize for calling you in at such a late hour"

" It's not a problem. What's up?" It was a problem, I was hoping to have a few more rounds in the playroom with Ana before I was summoned in, under normal circumstances I would have refused but as I have already missed so much over the past few weeks with Ana becoming my main priority I feel it was integral I begin to integrate myself back in the workplace, wouldn't want these fuckers to forget who is boss.

Welch spreads papers in front of me, some are blurred camera shots of a woman in sunglasses and a floppy hat sitting at the wheel of a large black SUV " Well as you know we have been working tirelessly on Ms Lincoln's case as per you instruction and it has been difficult to say the least" The strain is evident on the man's face, I really have pushed them on this and don't regret it. Elena must be found and punished and I am motivated in providing Ana with a sense of security again.

" Has there been any improvements?" I ask hoping for a positive answer. It baffles me that this scheming vindictive woman has evaded our and the police' attempts at catching her.

" Yes"

My heart stops and eyes widen " And.." I'm becoming impatient

" There has been a sighting of Lincoln in Seattle" Ana! My first thought is of my love. She is by herself at Escala. Yes Sawyer is there but that's it. One man isn't enough to protect the most precious thing in my life.

" Where?"

" An unmarked SUV has been seen around the city, usually in the vicinity of yourself. One of your security clientele noticed it and brought it to my attention, I made sure a tail was in place and we managed to get substantial pictures through the tinted windows as you can see and I scanned them through the recognition system and sure enough it was match"

" Why the fuck wasn't I told about this!" Someone is fired

" They didn't want to cause anymore stress to you or Miss Steele until it had been confirmed by myself"

" Who informed you of Ms Lincoln's appearance?"

" Reynolds sir"

I snatch the receiver off the holder and punch in the number

" Taylor... Reynolds I want him out... Make sure he is removed from Escala by the time I return" I hang up, nobody keeps me in the fucking dark especially with a situation as dangerous as this, i employ him not the other way around.

" Sir there is something else."

" What?"

" The CCTV system in Escala was hacked and recordings from over a year ago were copied"

" Why!?" Blackmail? Is she going to try to bribe me by threatening to expose my lifestyle. That is impossible, she would just be incriminating herself as well. Elena knows I have enough shit on her to bring her down too, I guess she is already in so much trouble she no longer cares.

" I am still working on what she was after I should have an answer in a few hours. I will let you know what I find"

" Thanks Welch. Have the police been contacted?"

" Yes Sir"

" I want a complete overhaul of the CCTV at home. The best quality you can find, no fucker is getting shit past me anymore. Check all system in GEH and SIP to see if they have been infiltrated also "

" Yes Sir" He knows he is being dismissed and returns to his work. I have to get home to Ana. These past weeks I have been somewhat delusional, thinking Elena had maybe escaped abroad or died in a ditch. I knew that these weren't viable possibilities, we have known each other far too long for me to expect Elena to give up and hide away. I grab my belongings and after a quick call to Taylor informing him of my departure I head for the elevators and down to the garage.

* * *

The ride home is tense, I am constantly on edge and scouting around looking for this illusive vehicle. I can't wait to get back into Escala and into Ana's arms. We reach the apartment without incident and I clamber out the car and into the elevator, I have an uneasy feeling settling in the bottom of my stomach but I am sure that's just a result of recent developments. As the doors slide open the apartment is quiet and dark, usually I would find Ana waiting for me in the great room or the kitchen, greeting me with her glorious smile and warm embrace but she is no where to be seen. It has been a long day so she has probably already headed to bed, her stomach must have been aching a little after our adventure into the playroom. The memory makes me smile. She was amazing.

I head into into the bedroom, sharing my bed with Ana has become something I look forward each day. Having her delectable body wrapped around me every night comforts me more than i could ever have imagined.

I enter my room to find it empty. Panic seizes my frame Where is she?

" Ana" I shout. The panic is evident in my voice. I push open the bathroom door hoping to see her in there but once again I am sorely disappointed

" Ana?" Where the fuck is she?

I run around the apartment flinging open the doors of every room to no avail

" Taylor" I scream. He is by my side in a second looking just as agitated

" Where is she?" I growl

" I don't know Sir" Fuck Fuck Fuck! Has Elena got in here and taken her? did she leave me? Where is my baby? Where is my love?

I rush back into the bedroom and into the closet, most of her clothes are gone and the rest are scattered across the floor. Her purse is no longer sitting on the self next to the designer ones I brought her. I fall to my knees and sob, she has left me.

After some considerable time I manage to pull myself together enough to head to my office. What in the world would caused her to leave so suddenly? Was i too rough on her in the playroom today? I thought she enjoyed herself, at least that's what she told me maybe she just didn't want to raise suspicion in order to make a clean escape. Whatever the reason I will not give up without a fucking fight. Ana has no one here in Seattle, Ray lives just outside of Portland and Carla stays in Georgia. It is too late in the night for her to travel to either destination so she must have returned to her apartment, the one she purchased before the shooting. I root through the drawers of my desk looking for the spare keys to the R8, as I frantically search I bump the desk which causes the screen of the Mac to burst into action and grab my attention. I frown as my brain works overtime attempting to work out what is displayed on the screen. I sit back in my chair and wheel forward, scrolling down the page. I swear I turned the computer off before I left, I never risk leaving it on too many important document are stored on here. I notice the address. Leila. Why is Leila emailing me? We haven't had any contact since I terminated our contract over a year ago, I was fed up with her clingy nature and whiny voice.

As I read down I soon realise this message isn't from Lelia at all but Elena. Fuck! There Is a link to a video and my stomach drops before I click knowing what exactly what lays ahead. The puzzle pieces seems to be falling perfectly into place.; Elena back in the city, Escala and SIP security systems hacked and Ana's disappearance. The video begins to play and past life is showcased in full technicolour. Ana must have seen this. Oh no! No wonder she left. I need to explain. Taylor comes hurtling into the room out of breath

" Just got a hold of Sawyer Sir, he said Miss Steele ran out around an hour ago with a bag and got into a taxi. He followed on foot but lost her"

" I know where she will be, I am going there now"

" I will accompany you Sir" I will not argue with him, that will only waste time.

* * *

" Ana let me in" I bang on the door. I called ahead to the apartment complex to ensure I was granted immediate access i know for a fact Ana would not have buzzed me in, that woman is as stubborn as they come but she needs to hear me out whether she likes it or not.

" Go away Christian"

" No"

" Yes"

" Listen to me. I am not leaving this door until you hear me out so save yourself some hassle and the embarrassing encounters with your neighbours and let me in Anastasia! " After a few strained minutes I hear her sigh and the lock on the door click. The door opens and my beautiful girl stands in the entrance, her tear stained cheeks and red eyes breaking my heart. The smooth melody of The Lumineers sweep through the airy room

_I stood alone upon the platform in vain_

_The Puerto Ricans they were playing their salsa in the rain_

_With open doors and and manual locks_

_In fast food parking lots_

_I headed west i was a man on the move_

_New York it lied to me i needed the truth_

_Oh i need somebody, i need someone i could trust_

_And i dont gamble, but if i did i would bet on us_

_Like the dead sea, you told me i was like the dead sea_

_You'll never sink when you are with me, oh lord, like the dead sea_

_Woah i'm like the dead sea, the finest words you ever said to me_

_Honey can't you see, i was born to be your dead sea_

" Baby" I move to hold her and she flinches away from me. This shocks me to my very core. She can't pull away from me! Not now not after everything we have been through. I move forward into her apartment and attempt to touch her once again. I need to feel her skin.

" Christian don't! "

" Why not Ana? I don't understand why you ran. I haven't done anything wrong" I really believe this. My fucked up relationship with Elena happened before I met Ana, and although she has been mixed up in this fucked up tangled web what she saw on the video took place a while ago. If she had stayed we could have talked and figured this out, instead she chose to run and could put herself in grave danger.

" You really believe that?"

" Yes i do. Elena and I have been over for a while. I don't want her, only you. How many more times do I have to tell you this?"

" I watched that video Christian" she whispers and tears fall down her cheeks. It's hard to watch her like this knowing I am the cause of the pain

" That video was from a long time ago Ana. Surely you saw the date"

" Yes but do you know what else I saw. You. Totally under her spell. Like a little lapdog. You wanted her badly Christian"

I sigh and sit on her couch running my hands through my messy hair, it is time to admit the truth not only Anastasia but also to myself. Flynn and I have been working towards this for a few months, actually before i even met Ana and up until now i have simply refused to open my eyes and accept what happened to me but seeing the woman i love sitting here in pain because of that vile monster is like a slap in the face.

"The first time Elena touched me i stood there in shock" I gulp and Ana's eyes widen when she realizes i am about to reveal all " I was so young and remarkably not all that attractive to girls, i am not saying i wasn't a walking hard-on like most teenage boys because i was but instead of using the predicament to my benefit and channel it into meeting and sleeping with girls i just stayed away and dealt with it on my own. There are many reasons for that, i was a loner for starters and that was of my own doing. The thought of allowing people close to me was sickening, they could reach out and touch me at any moment and i wouldn't be able to prevent it. If someone did there was no question i would have lashed out and on many occasions that is what took place, another reason why i pushed people away. They were scared of me. I wasn't bullied at school; being a Grey kinda halts any hostility, nobody wants to antagonize one of the richest and most powerful families in the state, social standing is integral to these vultures and that is past down to their spawn. Sometimes i would watch Elliot whore himself about and be jealous, he seemed happy and carefree the majority of the time and in my head i had twisted that around again and again until falling upon the conclusion that all the sex he was having was a resulted in his upbeat personality and as i couldn't entertain that idea i would be miserable forever. Looking back on it now Ana i am so fucking embarrassed and ashamed of how weak and vulnerable i was, for a man in his mid teens to be that fragile, gutless and scared is wrong and i see how i was a magnet." I take a deep breath as Ana comes to sit in front of me on her small oak coffee table. I have never told anyone about this shit accept Flynn but if this is the only way i can keep Ana i will do it, i will do anything for her;

" Before Grace and Carrick adopted me i had a hard life, my mother and i were living in this run down, dirty, rat infested apartment in Detroit with her pimp. She was a drug addict Ana." I hear her gasp, right now witnessing her reaction isn't an option i couldn't bear to see the pity across her perfect delicate features so i keep my gaze firmly on the carpeted floor. I do not want or need anybodies sympathy. " My memory of that time is a little hazy but what i do remember haunts me. The string of strange men gliding in and out at all times of the day and night, hearing my mother resist their advances only to be beaten as a result by the men themselves or her pimp, the stench of cigarettes and alcohol, hunger Ana i was so hungry at times i thought my stomach would eat itself and there was no one about to help me, if my crack whore of a mother wasn't prostituting herself about she was sprawled out on the couch passed out from her latest shooting up session and as for her pimp his favourite pastime was to beat me that is how i got the scars on my chest and why i find it so difficult to allow touch. I was just a small boy at the hands of this beast and i couldn't do anything to defend myself. Anyway when i was around 4 years old everything came to ahead, i recollect being trapped in the apartment for days. Alone. Well i say alone the crack whore was there but she hadn't moved unbeknownst to me she was dead but i didn't know that, what child would. I remember hearing the door creak open and that always signaled that the pimp had returned and usually i was in his direct firing line so i always curled up in the corner with my filthy blanket and wait in anticipation. This time was different though"

I finally look up and see the tears streaming down Ana's face. Why am i burdening her with this shit? but i have started so i should finish, then she can leave me knowing all the facts " The pimp threw his keys and drugs on the counter and called for the crack whore he obviously got no response and it was angering him, that is when he spotted me and snarled, in a last ditch attempt to thwart his rage i pointed at the lifeless body slumped across the couch and he went to investigate. The rest is just a blur of shouting, policeman, nurses, important looking people in suits, the pimp's face as he was dragged off by the officers and then my guardian angel. Grace. My real mother. She was gentle with me, stroked my hair of course i flinched at her caress the first time but soon found it soothing, much like when you touch me baby. Grace gave me food and water, she looked at me with caring, warm eyes when all i had witnessed in my short life was anger and hate. That is why when i became troublesome in my teenage years i always felt guilty for putting my parents through the pain, i always thought i was undeserving of their love. Why would they want me? the kid always getting himself into fights and causing them nothing but hassle, never showing them any affection and closing himself off. They had Elliot and Mia, normal happy children."

"Christian you had been through a lot baby. No one would have expected you to just dust yourself up and carry on through life without any issues. What you went through as a child was horrific."

"Your right Ana but with the vast amount of shrinks i had seen you would have thought i might have moved on. It wasn't until Elena came along that my life began to take a different direction. I was crying out for something, i know now that something was control and she gifted that to me and despite all she has done i am thankful. Without that i would not have achieved all my successes. But and i stress this Ana, control is the only good aspect to come out of that relationship. As i said before i was vulnerable man was i a wreak and a sitting duck to somebody like Elena. As you know she was a family friend, secretly Grace hated her but she often donates a great deal of money to the charities we support so to be on her bad side can have a detrimental effect on lots of people who are suffering and as Grace is such a kind person she would never risk upsetting someone who contributes so much. My relationship with Elena started when i was 15 and i had arrived home early from school, sent back again because i got into a fight with this fucker Daniel Jones he was pestering Mia so i lunged at him. Both Grace and Carrick were at work and couldn't be contacted so were unaware of the situation. Fighting was such a regular occurrence by this point that normal school procedure was thrown out of the window and they liked to just get me off the premises. Any other kid would have got expelled but not a Grey, that was unthinkable. The doorbell rang, i answered it and Elena was standing there. She forced her way past me and strode into the kitchen. I of course followed her completely confused by what was happening and that is when it started. She hit me. I mean really slapped me across the face hard then planted her lips on me. Honestly i have never been more shocked in my entire life; i stood in the middle of the kitchen like a statue, my cheek on fire and a woman chewing my face. I wouldn't necessarily say i liked it but the fact we were skin to skin, albeit not my chest, and i wasn't screaming and running for the hills was a revelation. She grabbed my face between her fingers and told me to meet her tomorrow at her house and i did. Intrigue by the sudden turn of events compelled me to follow her every whim; youth, vulnerability, the hope of a way out of my turmoil were also factors i think. She showed me her playroom, i was her submissive for a few years all in secret. She was married, older and unattainable and i enjoyed the thrill of the game and the satisfaction the pain gave me but after a while i began to feel uncomfortable. It was around the time i applied and was accepted to Harvard, my parents was so excited and proud. I felt more a part of the family than ever before and i didn't want to jeopardize that. I mentioned how i was feeling to Elena and suggested we stop because it was wrong, boy did i receive one hell of a beating for that. She was furious and that is when the mind games commenced. She would tease and manipulate me, convince me that what we were doing was helping me and i was healing. After a time i believed her unconditionally and i was tired of fighting everything and everyone so i allowed myself to fall into that lifestyle extensively. Over the years i adapted; became the Dom myself, dropped out of Harvard and built GEH but i was still tangled with Elena. She was relentless with me at times, when i reached my twenties and became more assertive and i cut the ties with her a little just so i could explore BDSM myself but she always managed to reel me in. Flynn calls it Stockholm Syndrome or some shit like that. When i finally had enough and ended it she was suspiciously calm about it and insisted we stay close friends and i wanted that to, afterall she did help me somewhat. It was you Ana that encouraged the real Elena to show herself, our love is so strong and is a threat to her sick life."

Ana hasn't uttered a word and it is scaring me. This is it, i am going to lose her. I brace myself as she reaches out and clasps my hands in hers

"Thank you" she whispers and my head snaps up

"What?"

"You finally opened up to me. That is all i have wanted since we met Christian"

"You... your not lea..ving me" I am confounded. This should have her packing up and shipping off to the other side of the world.

"Why would i leave you baby? I love you"

" But you ran before" Coming home to an empty apartment earlier pops into my head and saddens me.

"And for that i am truly sorry Christian. I just panicked and needed to get out. That video was disgusting and something a girlfriend should never see"

"I'm sorry you had to watch that, i honestly didn't know anything about it" Ana climbs into my lap and i close my arms around her, my anxiety, fear and panic dissipates away. I nuzzle my nose into her silky hair inhaling the vanilla scent. She is home

"Please don't run from me again"

"I promise"

"Please don't go snooping around my office again" I smirk

She giggles " I promise" Anastasia looks up and kisses the tip of my nose " I really am sorry about that, it wasn't intentional i needed to use the computer"

"It's okay baby, but i would prefer if you ask i have a lot of important documents on there"

"You got it"

We sit in silence for a while just holding each other " You really okay with all the shit i have uploaded on you tonight?"

Ana ponders my question for a while " Yeah. I mean of course the Elena shit isn't nice to hear but she abused you Christian."

I stay quite. Admitting i was abused is not a subject i am comfortable with yet. I understand her behavior was sick but i am not ready to label it.

A change in subject is desperately needed "You fancy some take out?"

Ana gasps with mock shock "The great and powerful Christian Grey eats unhealthy take out food like us hoi poli. Somebody contact the Nooz immediately"

" Well aren't you the comedienne of the week" I poke her side and she squirms in my lap. It's truly extraordinary how we can go from a deep, painful conversation to joking and playing around. I have found my soul mate.

" Yeah I'm a bit brilliant" She waves her hand and throws her head back in a flippant manner. She is so adorable. I kiss her passionately conveying all my feelings in this one act, searching for some reassurance after all the heavy shit that I am still enough for her, that she can deal with the broken fucked up man I am.

" You want Chinese?" I ask running my nose along hers

" Sounds good"

I kiss her one more time before moving her off my lap. " It's best if we head back to Escala it is more secure we can order the food once we are home"

" Home?" Her perfectly sculptured eyebrow raised. It wasn't a slip of the tongue and Ana knows it. She will move into Escala before the end of the month, I will make sure of it.

" Home" I state defiantly " Get your bag together baby, I need to go outside and brief Taylor. Be ready in 10" She nods and I make my exit.

* * *

**Ana POV**

I grin at the retreating back of my too-handsome-for-his-own-good boyfriend. Tonight has been a rollercoaster to put it lightly. Not in my wildest dreams had I thought he would finally confess all to me but it all came tumbling out and although parts were difficult to stomach I am so glad I now know. It gives me more of an insight into what makes Christian Grey the man he has become, his childhood sounds horrifying and no wonder there are significant long lasting scars and as for that vile bitch troll I hope she rots in hell.

I stuff my clothes back into the sports bag feeling so much lighter than I did a few hours ago. I was an immature idiot for running out the way i did; it was dramatic and unnecessary it's just I am always ready for somebody to hurt me and suppose running is a defense mechanism. Get out before they have the chance to inflict hurt. It hasn't worked in the past so I have no idea why i continue to practice the moto, many aspects of my life need a good rethink.

A loud crash in the adjoining room startles me. That's odd. I do a quick inventory in my head of all the furniture and objects in that room to see if there is anything which would cause such a commotion but nothing jumps out. The floorboards creak, footsteps clatter along the lament panels I am stuck in fear's choke-hold Please Christian hurry back! The creaking sounds is becoming louder and the footsteps are closer. Christian!

The white door swings open and there looking immaculate is a woman. Knife in hand.

" We finally meet Anastasia" the woman purrs, the knife gleaming in the moonlight.

" Who are you?" I squeak.

Come on Ana! "Don't show weakness" Ray's voice echo's around my head

Her evil laugh pierces through the tension " I suppose I should have introduced myself before I tried to kill you the first time, well this time I intend to do things properly. I am Elena dear and you are Anastasia Rose Steele. 21 years old. Daughter of Carla and Ray. Employee of SIP as Jack Hyde's assistant. Tenant of the lovely apartment we stand in now. Ex girlfriend of one Elliot Grey and the bitch who stole my man and survived my first attempt of killing her. "

Oh. My. God

" You see young Anastasia" She slowly saunters over to me " In the past i haven't given his other sluts a second thought. i knew my baby would return to me, i trained him to be that way. Even the lovely Lelia" She raises her voice and another woman stalks out of the room. Fuck! How could i have been so stupid! Its Jack's Lelia. She smirks at me and moves to join Elena as they approach me at a snail's pace. I back up with every step they take but i am halted by the breakfast bar " But then you come along and enchant Christian, work some kind of delusional magic and convince him he is capable of leading a normal life in a normal relationship well i am sorry to break this to you honey but that will never happen, i will never allow that to happen. You have irritated many people Anastasia by flaunting yourself in front of Christian and it is time. We. Taught .You. A. Lesson"

"Please don't" I whimper. I am trapped in between the counter and Elena who has now reached me and is trailing the blade of the knife along my jaw

She tilts her head to one side and the corner of her lips curl up " You couldn't keep one brother satisfied and he is the runt of the litter, what makes you think you can keep Christian's interest. Elliot and your best friend Kate. That must of hurt huh?

"How did you know about that?"

"I have my sources. I suppose i should congratulate you on the conquest of two brothers. I can't see your appeal personally but credit where credit is due. I never fancied Elliot much, he doesn't have Christian allure, strength and beauty"

"Your sick" I spit at the monster and she smiles

"Jealous? I taught him everything he knows Anastasia. The way he touches you, the way he fucks you is all down to me."

"And yet he chose me didn't he Elena?" The fight rises within me. This bitch won't win. Christian is mine. Rage blazes in her deep blue eyes

"Quiet" She screams and hits me across the face, i slump to the floor only to be dragged up by my hair " You should be dead! I planned it all meticulously but yet again you just will not fucking disappear. HE IS MINE YOU MAN STEALING BITCH"

Elena knees me in the stomach. right where my gunshot wounds are located, they scream in agony. No longer able to stand i fall as Elena and now Lelia continue to kick me in the ribs. All of a sudden the brutal attack stops and Elena is on the floor leaning over my curled up body, she presses the knife into my cheek. I feel the blood trickling down and mixing with my tears, landing like raindrops on the floor.

"He won't want you after i destroy your innocent looks so i might as well finish you off dear"

"You two never touched him" I murmur

"Excuse me" They both say in unison

" Christian never let you touch him did he?"

"Of course he didn't. What is your point?"

"I have free reign" I smirk at their reaction.

"Your lying"

"I am not. What reason do i have to lie. runtime to run my hands all over his bare torso, scrap my nails down his back as he makes love to me. Kiss his scars and feel his defined abs under my fingertips. Its glorious Elena and i am the only woman and will be the only woman who will ever be allowed that privilege"

"Stop talking" Her voice is agitated

"He loves me"

"Stop"

"He worships the ground i walk on"

"Enough" Elena's voice continues to rise as i carry on. Lelia stands there stock still, mouth agape

"And i love him back. With every breath i take"

"I'm warning you"

"I am going to marry him, bear his children and bring him a lifetime of happiness"

"STOP!" Her banshee cry is illustrated with the raising of the knife. She is about to plunge it into me when the door bursts open and in walks my saviour

"Don't. You. Dare" There is a deathly chill to his voice

"Christian" Her voice is breathy. Aroused.

I look up to see Christian, his Dom alter ego shining and Taylor behind him with a man tussled up in handcuffs, his face marred with fresh bruises and cuts.

"Drop the knife Elena"

"No"

"Drop. It"

"No! She must pay for what she has done."

"Anastasia has done absolutely nothing wrong. That woman has shown me nothing but love and hope. I will not let you take her away from me"

"Who are you trying to kid Christian?" She stands and moves towards him. I try with all my might to get up and stop her, to protect my man but the searing pain is too much " You will soon realise that what you need can't be found with that weak little girl. Our life together baby that is destined to be" She reaches him and grips his arm. In one swift move he pins her against the wall

" You disgust me." He snarls

"I own you Christian"

"That is where you are wrong and why you will spend the rest of your miserable hate filled life rotting away in prison along with Lelia and your boytoy shooter Issac there. I don't belong to anyone, i am free to love who i want. So listen to me Elena and listen good. I . Want. Ana"

"Lies" She whispers as a single tear fall down her cheek

"You can keep deluding yourself but i couldn't give a flying fuck. You nearly killed the most important person in my world and best believe me i will make sure your life is a living hell"

I see her arm beginning to rise, the knife smeared with my blood edging closer to my Christian's abdomen, noise from the stairwell which sound like a herd of elephants seeps through. _The police are here!_

"Not before i make her life a misery" Elena whispers, that blade inches away.

Lelia is watching me intently and sees my reaction. Both Elena and Issac give her a slight nod. From the breakfast bar Lelia grabs the glass fruit bowl and hovers it above my head

"NOW" I hear Issac shout and Lelia lets go of the bowl and Elena rams the blade into Christian

The last thing i hear is Christian crashing to the floor and the apartment being flooded with people

**A/N Annnnnnnnd breathe. I promise there is happy, fluffy times ahead. Also Fucking Elena!**  
**The song is "Dead Sea" By The Lumineers. My favourite band, i am off to see them in 2 weeks :D Check them out. The frontman is stunning. **  
**Review and tell me what you thought**  
**Thanks for reading xoxo**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Thank you for all your reviews! So glad to get rid of Elena. So shall we have a few chapters which are drama free? Kate and Elliot will become more prominent soon and I think might want to explore the Ana/Elliot relationship a little bit.**

A month has passed since the confrontation with Queen bitch Elena and both Christian and I have recovered from our resulting injuries. Gratefully they weren't as serious as they could have been. Christian's strong hold on the evil troll prevented her from putting any real strength behind her action and his stab wound didn't puncture too far into his leg, he limped around for a few weeks and was on crutches but thankfully his daily workouts in the gym combined with his determination to hurry the rehabilitation on his leg ensured his recovery was a speedy one. I on the other hand suffered a bit more than Christian, which always seems the case at the hands of Elena or this time Lelia. It turns out that Lelia got a touch of the cold feet when faced with " finishing me off" and instead of smashing the bowl directly onto my head she directed it off to the side so it only half caught my skull. It was still enough to cause concussion and multiply cuts but there is no lasting damage just some reoccurring headaches and some tiny scars that are hardly noticeable when a bit of make up is applied.

The police arrested all three of them on; suspicion of attempted murder, GBH, misuse of the computer fraud and abuse act, kidnapping and breaking and entering. Carrick made sure kidnapping was added to the list of charges because we had no way of escaping their evil clutches in that apartment. It was revealed that Isaac, Elena's current submissive who bears an uncomfortable resemblance to Christian, was the shooter and Lelia was contacted by the vindictive skank after Christian terminated their contract. They became acquaintances and she utilised that when I came onto the scene, she offered Lelia the chance to reconcile with him if they got rid of me. It is safe to say they will all face lengthy jail time but now Elena and Lelia are pleading insanity, not untrue in my opinion they are both basket cases, but this means that we will have to give evidence at trial. Facing them again frightens me to death but Carrick has promised to coach me and provide tips on handling the prosecution. Grace and Carrick have been spectacular and although things are still a little frosty between Grace and myself, I am starting to feel accepted into the family. It is such a shame that it is only spawned from disaster though, not sure it would have happened without all the drama.

I am still living at Escala, the thought of returned back to that apartment is not a pleasant one. At first is wasn't an option, it was a crime scene and i was banned until the police had collected the evidence they. It seems the motley crew escaped and hid in a small town named Edmonds, originally where Isaac is from, but when they returned to the city they took refuge In my apartment. Once a place which had been a symbol of a new chapter is now tainted and the prospect of moving in with Christian is becoming more appealing as time goes on. We have been through so much in such a short amount of time and the next logical step is to live together. I am waiting for him to properly ask me though, this girl needs a little romance after all I have been through the past few months I think I deserve it.

But now I have a whole new different issue I content with.

When did I become this person. Reliant on a man. Needy. Desperate. All consumed by one. This Ana had no place in my life before. Now it is a whole different story and I'm not sure it is a good thing

It is the day before I make my big return to work and I am alone at Escala. Despite persistent warnings from the doctors, his mother and myself, Christian went into the office earlier leaving me here on his bed. Aroused. I have no idea why I am in such a predicament, Christian didn't leave me hanging this morning, we put his morning glory to good use and he went on his merry way. That was 3 hours ago and I am ready to go again, desperately yearning for my man and his big cock. I have attempted almost everything to distracted myself; Showering, cleaning the kitchen, rearranged the closet, watching mindless daytime TV, a lengthy phone call with my exuberant mother and catching up on correspondents but all with no success.

That's it. Christian here I come and boy you better be standing to attention when I arrive.

Rummaging thought the extensive closet I finally come across the dress I had in mind for such an occasion. It is a little fancy for mid morning but its a statement piece and and ensured to catch Christian's attention. The best part? Easy access. It is a gorgeous Alexander McQueen Kaleidoscopic print dress. The fabric hugs my curves and accentuates my toned tanned legs. The eye-catching design is splashed with baby pink, grey and a dash of blue. I team it with my simple but sky high black Louboutins and diamond studded earrings. I grab the Hermes Birkin bag showcased in one of the closets pockets and my keys and head to find Sawyer but I am stopped in my tracks by my vibrating cell phone. Annoyed that my mission for Christian's cock has been delayed I snap my greeting

" Well isn't somebody grouchy today" His dulcet sexy tone oozes down the phone and directly into my already sensitive and moist sex

" Hey baby" I purr. God I need him. I fall onto the bed when i hear his intake of breath telling me he is aware my current aroused state.

" I thought I would check in and see what you were up to, make sure there were no crazy bitches about" He jokes. It's amazing that we are able to draw humour from the ordeal already. A copying mechanism Flynn reckons

" I have a problem Christian. An urgent problem" I tell him innocently running my fingertips over my lips

" What's wrong baby?" Christian's voice is tinged with panic

" I can't shake it"

" You can't shake what? What is it Anastasia?"

" There is only one solution and lm not sure that is an option at the moment and it is driving me to the edge of despair"

" Christ Ana will you just tell me. You are really starting to worry me"

" I am wet Christian. Dripping. Soaked. Crying out for your cock" I seductively inform my well endowed boyfriend who I know is now growing harder and harder with every second that ticks by

" Fuck baby"

" God I need you" My hands are slipping down my body, over my full breast and elongated nipples. My hips start to grind on the bed trying to gain some friction as his breathing become shallow and faster, the small barely detectable growls drifting through the phone

" Where are you Anastasia?" The Dom voice!

" In your bedroom"

" Our bedroom" He corrects

" On the bed. My dress is riding up my thighs"

" Slide those panties off baby"

Finally! It isn't the same as having Christian here with me but just his presence is enough to make me come like a train.

" Tell Andrea you are not to be disturbed, close those blackout blinds and unzip you pants Christian" Two can play at this game. Without missing a beat I hear him bark the order to his personal assistant and sigh as his erection is freed from its restraints.

" Spread those legs wide and slide those fingers into that tight glistening pussy baby" Oh the relief! As soon as my fingertips connect with the sodden lips I shudder with pleasure and the feral moan i release is unlike anything I've ever heard.

" Grip that shaft baby. Imagine my tight pussy clenching around you. The warmth of being inside me makes you so hard doesn't it Christian?"

" So fucking hard Ana"

I ride my fingers faster and faster. My climax creeping up, the sound of Christian groaning edging it on. My legs are open as far as they can go and my free hand is frustratingly teasing the hardened nipple thought the material of the ridiculously expensive dress.

" Ana stop!"

What!

"Remove those drenched fingers and suck on them baby. Imagine it's my cock, I am fucking your mouth Ana" I do as he says, sucking with gusto.

" Now I want you to look in the draw on my side of the bed" He is dominating me and I am loving it. This game is exciting. I pull open said draw to find a key gleaming in the centre

" The key you see Ana opens the playroom. Hang up and make your way upstairs" I press the end button, grab the key and hurry to the secret room. Phone still in hand. I have never been in the playroom alone before, it doesn't seem right without Christian. This is his domain not mine.

The room is exactly as I remember it; dark and sensual but strangely comforting. I literally just step in and close the door and the phone rings. Before I can speak I am given more instructions

" Take off your dress and bra" Careful not to tear the items of clothing I carry out his request with hast.

" Don't question anything Ana. Just follow my orders. Understand?"

" Yes Sir" I don't know why I felt the need to address him in this manner but It felt right.

" Now are you naked Anastasia?"

" Yes Sir"

" Still wet for me?"

" Very Sir"

" Good girl. I am still sitting and my desk stroking my big cock. You wish I was there deep inside you don't you?"

" Badly Sir"

"In those draws on your left is something that will help with your problem Miss Steele. Third one down"

I saunter over, my juices trickling down my legs and my clit throbbing with anticipation. In there is a wide selection of dildo's. All shapes, sizes and colours, a single woman's dream.

" Choose one Ana"

I pick the purple one. It's long, thick and full of ridges. I encase my hand around it groaning

" You like the feel of that Ana?"

" Yes but it doesn't compare to you Sir"

I can sense his grin. I am enjoying this game and all but I really wish he was here. I miss his scent and the touch of his hard body.

" There should be a bottle of lube also in the draw. Collect that and climb on the bed, squeeze some of the liquid in your palm and coat the vibrator with it" He hangs up once again

I am sitting in the middle of the bed waiting, it has been at least 10 minutes. I understand he is building the tension, teasing and creating a high level of anticipation but this is becoming annoying. I stare at the now shining dildo. I ache for penetration. The object laying in front of me can satisfy that urge but my surprise submission to Christian prevents me from taking matters into my hands. The phone rings and I snatch it off the bed

" Turn it on" The background is different. The noise is distorted and I can hear a rumbling engine. He is on his way here! I flip the small black switch on the bottom and the dildo buzzes into life

" Raise yourself up on your knees and hover over the dildo" As I position the buzzing dick underneath me I idly wonder if Taylor can here Christian. I would be mortified and could never look the bodyguard in the face again. The vibrations are just reaching my swollen clit, making me squirm and bite my lip

" Sink down on it Ana. Wrap that glorious pussy along the shaft"

" Yesssssss... Fuck Christian"

" Don't move Ana. Feel it"

" Oh Christian... So good... Hurry baby"

" I am on my way baby. In 10 minutes time it will be my rock solid cock you are riding"

I tweak my nipples and throw my head back. This is incredible.

" Slowly slide up"

" Ahhhhh"

" And back down"

" Mmmmm"

" Faster Ana"

" Christian" I moan

" Faster Ana. Bounce on that dildo"

" Fuck. Fuck. Fuck"

" Don't come baby. I want to experience your orgasm"

" Christian hurry baby. I can't hold it off much longer"

" Control Anastasia. Stop moving but keep the dildo inside of you" I hear the street noises dissipate. He is in the underground garage at Escala. My heart starts to race. He is here. The car door slams shut and the elevator dings it's arrival.

" Christian" I whine.

" Don't come baby" the line goes dead. I close my eyes trying to stave off the impending bliss clawing its way closer. Oh why did he demand I keep the dildo inside of me. It feels so good, would it be so bad if I grind down a little bit? If I can angle it a little to just press against my clit...

" Don't you dare"

My eyes flash open and find Christian leaning in the doorway. Completely naked. Cock in hand. Hard as stone. He stalks towards me, his dick jerking with every step. Christian grips my hips and circles me around until I am on all fours, his cock poking at my ass. He takes the dildo and pulls its slowly out and drags it around and up, spreading my juices. Without a word he roughly thrusts into me and I come immediately. Oh the sweet relief. After what seems like hours of foreplay I finally reach my peak and it is magnificent. Christian is still, enjoying the affects of my orgasm but soon starts a punishing pace.

" I think I went back to work to soon" he exclaims breathlessly

" I agree. Oh yes Christian... So fucking big"

Christian grabs my hair as he rotates his hips, hitting the right spot every damn time.

" Ana I'm going to come" Christian groans loudly before spurting his seed. The sensation sending me spiralling once more.

We both lie spent on the bed. Christian wraps his arm around my waist and tugging me into his side, burying his noise into my hair and inhaling the scent of my shampoo

" I was on my way to see you. I got all dolled up in one of your expensive outfits and everything" I giggle

"God I love that sound... Why were you so horny baby?" He asked whilst stroking my bare back

" I have no idea. Are you complaining?"

" Definitely not"

" Good"

"You may be bad for my business though "

"Why's that?"

" Because the thought of you here wet and waiting for me sends me in a spin. I already cancelled two meetings this afternoon"

" Christian!" I admonish. I never want to interfere or come in between his work.

" It's okay baby. They weren't important and are being rescheduled as we speak. I may be unable to resist your charms but it doesn't make me stupid. Stop worrying"

" Fine. Just don't put anything at risk for me"

Christian snorts " Okay Ana" he replies sarcastically. I shake my head and roll my eyes.

" So I have you all to myself this afternoon?" I ask ignore his reaction to my eye rolling

" Yes. On one condition"

" And what might that be?"

" I get to be inside you the whole time and in every room" he whispers, licking the shell of my ear

" What about the security?"

" I gave them strict instructions to stay away unless an emergency arises"

" And Mrs Jones?"

" Same rule applies"

" I see. We are really alone?"

" I have to take advantage of the time I have with you. Tomorrow you are back at work and I have to share you. So what do you say Miss Steele? Permission to enter?" Christian mock salutes

I spread my legs " Hop on board Mr Grey"

A face splitting grin Illuminates the room before he pounces.

**A/N The dress Ana never got to show off to Christian is here**

** Camilla-Belle-Alexander-McQueen-Printed-Mini-Dress-Push-Premiere-LA-2754015 **

**And while I'm at it the dress Ana wore In chapter 1 is**

** . **


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N So I am starting to feel really bad about the amount of updates so even though i am currently snowed under with work I have set aside some time to write a chapter today, call it a belated valentine post. Once again thank you for your reviews!**

**Christian POV**

This fucking leg!

I stretch the offending limb under my desk trying to rid the ache. That fucking bitch may not have cause any serious damage but it was enough to induce some amount of discomfort. Looking around my office in GEH I sigh, once upon a time this used to be my sanctuary. This was my haven when the real world was on my ass and life was bleak, dark and unfulfilled. Now i watch the clock from the minute i step through the door in the morning yearning to leave and return home. I suppose I started this company as a distraction, one that has conveniently and undeniably allowed me to live a privileged life, but at the time of conception I was under Elena's command or spell if you wish and it felt like GEH was my flare of independence, two fingers up to the world. It was my mark of determination and proof to all the doubters who have questioned the intelligence of the poor orphan son of a crack whore. Now however my mindset has changed. The thrill of chasing a difficult deal, lording my power and saving some dwindling company who haven't got a hope in hell of recovery hasn't worn off but I find myself at an impasse. There is another aspect in my world which has taken precedence and finding the balance between them is becoming increasingly fustrating.

On my desk is the person in beautiful, brave, beguiling, stubborn, witty woman. My Ana. My mind constantly wanders to thoughts of her during the day, much to my detriment, so much so it has increasingly occurred throughout crucial meetings like last week when I was holding vital mergers and acquisitions with the CEO of an Italian electronic's company. I have been chasing these bastards for weeks even brushed up on my limited Italian and pulling out all the stops to charm them into giving me some of their precious and valuable time. So after they arrived from Italy, in my private jet which had been scheduled to take some investors to Brazil may I add, we had commenced our meeting in the luxury, newly refurbished conference room hammering out the deal. This would not only boost my financial status but also it would expand GEH in Europe an ambition i have harboured for many years and a career step i am very passionate about. Paulo Santini is a hardass, no nonsense fucker and one of the richest men in the world, he has an estimated net worth of over 30 billion. Like myself he started his company at a young age developing various technological advancements in electronics, his greatest and most profitable achievement is his creation of an alternative eco-friendly generator which can be installed in your house and helps to conserve energy and dramatically reduces household costs, in fact I heard about it when it first popped up on the market and demanded Elliot acquire the device and have it built into Escala. Although he is not the most desirable man on the planet, he managed to bag himself a French supermodel at one of the former Italian Prime Minister Silvio berlusconi's infamous Bunga Bunga parties.

Paulo has decided to sell off his company because of health problems and I suspect he has fallen out of love with the business world, something these days i can somewhat relate to. In my honest opinion to be successful in this industry you have to be selfish, ruthless and it helps a great deal if you are a fucked up individual with no personal strings attached which before Ana I was the perfect candidate for.

For weeks Ros and I have been devising an intricately fool proof plan and I was delivering it with gusto; recreating my glory days when i could convince any fucker to lay their whole life out on a dish for me, that was until I stumbled. I never stumble. Ever. I was launching into our future prospects sector of the programme when I could have sworn I noticed Ana through the glass wall. She was leaning on the opposing side swirling her car keys in her hand; her long curls falling around her supple perky breasts, her champagne coloured blouse artfully open down to the tops of her perfect tits seductively giving me a glimpse of the black lace Agent Provocateur bra contained inside the silk prison. The small piece of lingerie is low plunge, a see through panel running just left of her delicious nipple, the tender nub i can spend hours suckling upon. I know under that skin tight grey pencil skirt incasing her firm thighs is the flimsy thong which accompanies the set. I can almost here the tear of the fabric when I shed it off her slim hips and those nude Mary Jane Louboutins only highlight her toned long legs with glorious results. What I wouldn't give to have those wrapped around my head as I feast on her tight delectable pussy right now. The space in my pants becomes considerable smaller and the need to buried deep inside my girl is all consuming, I yearn to feel her clenching around my swollen enlarged member. I excused myself from this highly important meeting in search of Ana. My dick firmly leading the way. I approach the desk of some blonde intern who flutters her eyelashes at me and pushing out her clearly enhanced chest. Why these sluts feel the right to make a show of themselves to me is baffling i am their boss for fuck sake and my company is not a strip joint. Ignoring her shameless advances I demand to know where Ana went only to be told that nobody fitting her description has been seen, in fact the whole floor has been declared a no go area. I head immediately to the men's room and unzip the painfully restricting pants to release my throbbing erection into my waiting palm. What the fuck is happening to me. I would have never allowed a woman to come in between me and my business but this one bewitching goddess has me in the restroom fighting to find some remnants of control. I stroke my length up and down imagining Ana spread eagled waiting for me to plow into her, that glistening pussy shining at me, begging to be licked and fucked. Oh how I love to taste her, to run my tongue around her silky folds and nibble at her swollen clit. My strokes become faster when I remember how it feels when I fuck Ana's mouth, that smart orafice full of my dick. Man that girl can suck! It doesn't take long for me to spurt thick amounts of cum as i reach climax; carefully avoiding the suit pants bunched around my ankles, walking back in with cum stained all over them wouldn't be the best idea. That night I went home I fucked Ana's brains out, we fucked for hours and I just couldn't get enough.

Fortunately my little incident didn't ruin the deal and we managed to secure an agreement. That is why I am stuck in the office at 11 o'clock at night finalising the contracts. After putting the finishing touches to it and making sure Ros is happy with the agreed arrangement I switch of the Mac computer and head down to the waiting SUV and Taylor. We speed through the deserted streets of Seattle, before Ana this was my favourite time of the day. It was not unusual to find me running through the park or strolling down the quiet sidewalk enjoying the serenity. Nobody pesters you, the cool midnight air clears your head and It was the perfect distraction from sleeping, from the terrifying nightmares. Now I can't even entertain the thought of wasting time that could be better spent with Ana, just hearing that innocent giggle, experiencing her challenging me, the feel of her in compassed in my embrace. It frightens me just deep this love I have for one person is and I don't think Ana realises how much power she has over me and the last person who did, abuse it.

Upon entering Escala I find all the lights off which isn't a huge surprise because of the late hour; although there is the usual fleeting moment of panic, the memory of the time Ana left and walked right into the clutches of Elena still plagues me.

" Sir I will be turning in for the night. I should remind you that I have the day off tomorrow, Gail and I are going away for Valentine's Day"

" Ah yes I remember" I yawn " Have fun"

Taylor gives me a rare smirk " Oh we will. Do you and Miss Steele have plans sir?

" Unfortunately my day is pretty hectic but I should be able to squeeze a little surprise in" I haven't exactly got anything arranged but I have an idea.

" Well enjoy" We nod at each other and head for our respective partners. The door to Ana and i's bedroom is ajar and a graceful figure can be seen reclining on the bed. I know for a fact Ana would have tried her damn hardest to wait up for me but by the looks of it she couldn't keep those pretty little eyes open any longer, personally i lay blame on her return to work at SIP. She went back disregarding my concerns, although that Hyde bastard is firmly under my watchful eye. I am almost certain he knew what Lelia was concocting and he will come face to face with my fists if my suspicions are confirmed. I am about enter and curl up next to her warm body when a soft moan stops me in my tracks. Upon further inspection I see that what I thought initially was an innocent scene, a young woman asleep is in actual fact my naughty little minx, naked and exploring her pussy with her long slender fingers. My cock instantaneously jumps to attention. Her bent knees spread even wider as she plunges further into her soaked core and as her moans become louder and the tugs on her nipples become harsher I can no long tolerate the distance so I quietly sneak inside carefully avoiding disrupting the writhing woman on my bed. Shredding my suit I move to the bed and slowly climb on making sure the bed dips alerting her to my presence, without warning I slide into her waiting pussy and we both moan at the contact

" Hey baby" She purrs. God I love this woman. Neither of us attempt to move we just relish the closeness

" And what do you think your doing Miss Steele?"

" Masturabating Mr Grey" She boldly announces

" Oh really do i not carry out the job to your high standards?"

" Believe me you do but what's a girl to do when her boyfriend isn't around and she is unbelievably horny. C'mon Mr Genius discuss?"

" She waits for her apologetic boyfriend to return so he can fuck her seven shades to Sunday"

Ana bites her bottom lip and I growl. I have no idea why but every time she does that my cock responds, it has done from the very first moment we met. I idly wonder if Elliot found it as sexy as I do, I shake my head in revulsion this is definitely not the time to dwell on their previous relationship " Well right now said boyfriend is not carrying out that promise. " Ana circles her hips to demonstrate her her point" Does girl need to continue her previous ministrations?"

" Like fuck she does" and with that I glide my cock out and rub it over her tight drenched pussy before sliding it back it and beginning our all too familiar erotic dance. Sex before Ana was always a selfish act, the main objective was to release the tension built up inside of me. I needed to release those endorphins in order to continue acting like a rational human being, it may sound crazy but I was so tightly wound up that it began to affect every aspect in my godforsaken life. But as I watch Ana's mouth form the perfect " O" as i speed up my thrusts and plunge deeper inside of her it is clear that is no longer the case. This woman has changed me so much; the damaged child, the troublemaker, the outcast, the cold distant businessman is now recipient of a beautiful woman's love. A love strong enough to banish the darkness and renew hope in what was once a desolate existence and as we reach our peaks together I conclude to make this woman mine for all eternity.

I am up bright and early the next morning boosted by renewed vigour caused by my late night epiphany. After showering and dressing at record speed I head to meet Sawyer in the Great Room, not before writing Ana a note explaining my absence and propping it up against a glass a freshly squeezed glass of orange juice. She doesn't start work till 10 and as much i would love to wake up and bury myself in her she needs to rest and I want to make a quick exit. Once sawyer and I are safely on our way i start to execute my plan. First a call to the most exclusive florists in Seattle to arrange red roses for every destination Ana visits today, I make sure a box of rosé petals are delivered to the apartment for later on tonight. Next call is to Mac, my helmsman on The Grace asking him to prepare the yacht as we will set sail mid afternoon and give him an itinerary so he can make the necessary arrangements. Traffic in the city is hellish this morning and if this was any other day my temper would be fraying but as I have so many preparations to organise I haven't even noticed, it was only Sawyer's loud expletive which alerts me to the chaos. My next point of call is one I am most apprehensive about. Ray.

" Mr Steele?"

" Yes"

"It's Christian"

" Ah it's lovely to hear from you son. How are things? Ana called last week to fill fill me in on the current events. You two don't like the quiet life huh?" Ray jokes. We did bond when Ana was in hospital, I respect the man a great deal

" Oh you know us Mr Steele, we attract the crazies"

" Your sure do. So of what do I owe the pleasure of a phone call? It isn't Ana again is it?"

" It is relating to her but nothing bad I can assure you. I just needed to ask you something..."

After a somewhat awkward and embarrassing conversation I hang up delighted with the result. This night has the potential to define the rest of my life.

* * *

**Ana POV**

I have been absolutely spoiled rotten today. My initial disappointment of waking up alone in Christian's gigantic bed was soon washed away when I found the familiar gesture of orange juice, a note and a dozen red roses on the bedside table. That is where is all began. Everywhere I go today I have been inundated with roses; in the car, on my desk, in the deli the new security guard James was not impressed with the recent addition to his job description, delivering flowers on behalf of his boss. Speaking of which the man himself has been sending me love texts all day, since when did he come such an advocate of Valentine's day.

I love you xxxxx

You are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on xxxx

Thank you for choosing me despite all of my failings xxxxx

Trust me xxxxx

Be patient with me xxxxx

3 o'clock. The harbour. Bring a jacket. And your sweet ass xxxxx

There is no way Jack is going to allow me to leave early, he has been in a foul mood for days. The constant stream of flowers isn't helping the situation but as the clock ticks towards quarter past two the angry bear exits his cave and stalks towards me.

" Ana!" He bellows and the whole room turn their heads in my direction. Damn you open plan offices!

" Yes Jack" my harmless reply seems to only fuel his ire and his lips curl up into a subtle snarl

" I don't need you for the rest of the day, you can go home" He flings a sealed brown envelope on my desk " And give that to who ever is on reception pretending to do their job on your way out"

" Um sure" I have an uneasy feeling about all of this and I can't help but wonder if Christian had a hand in organising my escape but i don't have time to brood on it so I quickly pack up my work and shove it haphazardly into the leather chanel satchel Christian bought me and hurriedly make my way to the ground floor. There is a crowd gathered outside the main entrance and it is distracting Claire at reception, so much so she doesn't even acknowledge my existence. I realise all the commotion is because of a very presidential looking limo has pulled up out front and the crowd are desperately trying to figure out who the famous face is inside. That is when I notice Sawyer in a ridiculous shofer outfit standing with the back rear door open

"Miss Steele" The crowd gasps in jealousy

" What are you doing Sawyer? What is this?" I giggle in disbelief

" Compliments of Mr Grey ma'am"

" Did he make you do this?"

" yes ma'am"

" Are you getting a bonus? And stop calling me ma'am"

" No ma... I mean Ana" He grunts and I laugh at his reaction.

" Where are we going?"

" I am not at liberty to say"

" Where is Christian?"

" I am not at liberty to say"

" Are you going to keep the costume?"

" i am not at... Definitely not"

I laugh and get into the limo.

After an hour drive and some further merciless Sawyer teasing we arrive at the final destination. The security guard accompanies me to The Grace and helps me climb on board, getting on a boat in 6inch heels is not a skill I possess. The deck is beautifully decorated much like it was on our first date; the lighting from the candles and fairy lights is sensual and warming in the early evening ambience, once again there more flowers only this time the petals are scattered across the wooden floor creating a path to the cabin. My eyes travel along the trail until they fall upon the lavish Italian leather shoes standing in the doorway, they belong to the impeccably gorgeous man grinning lovingly at me.

" Your here"

" So it seems" I whisper my reply. What is this all in aid of? I know it's Valentine's Day but surely this is way too over the top for a minor occasion

" I have been desperate to see you all day. Come" Christian holds his hand out and I take it, dazed my surroundings and the situation. He leads me over to one of the deck chairs as the boat begins its decent into the serene ocean. Once comfortable on his lap Christian attacks my mouth like he has been starved for days, his tongue lapping and dipping, groans erupting from his chest and his hands caressing my body like this is the last time they will ever touch it. He seems nervous, anxious. For the next half an hour we float across the sea at a gentle pace, dining on the three course meal which has been devised by a chef Christian has hired for the evening. The conversation is comfortable and flows as easily as the waves, however i have never seen Christian fidget as much as he is tonight. He is constantly squirming, playing with the cutlery and patting the pocket in his grey slacks. After dinner, and i feel like I am about to give birth to a food baby, we once again curl up on one of the cushioned deck chairs and relax as the sun begins set. This has been the perfect Valentine's Day and the icing on the cake is being able to snuggle into my man and inhale his heady scent. My content state isn't around for long as it is disrupted when The Grace docks on a small remote island, I turn questionably at Christian

" I found this place last year. Mac and I had been sailing around and around aimlessly for days when we stumbled across it. I've never brought anyone here, this has been my secret getaway place but I want to share it with you"

I palm his stubbly cheek " Thank you baby."

We descend off the boat and stroll hand in hand along the sandy beach, feeling the grainy sand underneath our naked feet. This may not be located in the middle of the Mediterranean but remarkably there isn't a whole lot of difference, the climate being the obvious change but that is taken care of as usual by Mr Control Freak and his demand that I bring a coat. We stop and turn to watch the sun set over the horizon, Christian stands behind me kissing my hair. This is so romantic I could cry. I am about to praise my man on his excellent romance talents when he maneovers around me and drops down on to one knee and my hand flies to my mouth

" Anastasia. You have given me more than just about anyone on this planet. Your sweet, kind, forgiving nature has taught me so much and you have attached yourself onto my ice cold heart and revived it back into life. All the money, power and success in the world will never compare to you Ana and you have no idea how honoured i am that you have chosen to give your heart to me. I love you so sincerely my sweetheart and I promise I will do everything in my power to worship, protect and adore you for the rest of your life if you allow it. So please Anastasia make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?"

The tears are falling freely down my cheeks, I fall to my knees and cup his beautiful face

" Yes"

**A/N Aww! Next up Ana and Christian go home to the Greys to announce their engagement...**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated as usual**


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N I am so glad you all enjoyed the engagement, I wanted to make it different to the one in the book and maybe a little more romantic. I have a plan for this story and depending on my imagination i reckon we are not too far away from the end. I have a couple more twists up my sleeve before we reach that point however. As always i love all your reviews!**

I sit twirling the engagement ring around my finger. The diamond twinkling as the sunlight hits it. Christian really outdid himself on this one, the oval cut stone itself is set beautifully perched off the silver band which is encrusted with smaller diamonds. I asked him where he purchased this magnificent object only to be shot down by one of his famous smirks and a tap of the nose, although i have an inkling that he had a hand in the design. Walking around in public however has become an issue for me, this ring is probably the same price someone would expect a house to cost which automatically increase the threat level in my mind.

The ring wasn't actually presented to me until a hour after Christian got down on one knee; I was so overwhelmed by the whole day, situation, the man himself that I completely forgot i was suppose to have a ring. And of course the couple of rounds of beach sex successfully dispelled any thoughts of a diamond. Beach sex whilst is fun, naughty and highly pleasurable it does carry a few consequences which can put a dampener on what should be nothing more than a dirty memory. The day after was when I learned a new skill, how to extract sand from places you didn't even knew existed.

That was yesterday. Today..

I have a feeling will be the complete opposite. Christian and I are off to the Grey's to inform the family of our news and my anxiety is at a all time high. The last time I felt this on edge was possible the first time I was to meet the clan only this will be 10 times worse. Back then I was simply being introduced as Elliot's girlfriend and was expecting a quiet, albeit slightly intimidating Christmas, the events that occurred over those 2 days have changed my whole life and everything has been flipped on its head. No longer am I Elliot's girlfriend, I am Christian's fiancée. Grace is still frosty towards me, she is polite and kind when she is forced to be but I still feel her reticence and who could blame her. Perhaps i was a little presumptive regarding the progress with my future mother in law. I honestly believed we were beginning to repair the damage to our relationship during my recovery period but as soon as i was able to leave the bed and no longer required her medically she began to break away and now we are almost back at square one. I have no idea what Christian was thinking when he organised this little family reunion, we aren't ready I feel to all sit in one room and pretend everything is sweet as a peach. Feelings have been hurt, trust has been shattered and secrets have been rife this year. The gathering could have been considerably less stressful if we had just invited everyone over to Escala but no Taylor is currently speeding us along the highway up to Bellevue and the Grey's residence.

As we pull up to the house along the long, dust driveway Christian squeezes my hand intended as a comforting gesture and runs his thumb over my engagement ring. I pull it off and place it safely in my purse. My finger feels naked without it on even after only a day. I stare at my future husband. This man is mine for the rest of eternity. How did I get so lucky? There he sits in casual attire; his cream cashmere knit sweater, light blue slightly acid washed jeans, a pair of stylish brown army boots with the laces removed and his trademark just fucked copper hair. He looks edible and if it wasn't for the fact I was about to be thrown into the lion cage I would fully utilise the power this ring gives me and jump him. Christian notices my carnal appreciation and rewards me with a knowing wink before he climbs gracefully out of the car and around to open my door. Always the perfect gent.

* * *

"Mom. Dad"Christian greets his parents as I subtly hide behind his statuesque frame. I am an adult for fuck sake and I cowering behind a man! Get a fucking grip girl!

"Christian" His mother kisses his cheeks and rubs his muscular arms "Its so good to see you honey. I was surprised to receive your request for dinner. Is Mrs Jones ill?"

"No she is fine. Its just that it has been a while since we all were in one room together" Christian eyes darken as he recalls that last time, it was when I was in hospital after the shooting. He reaches behind to grab my waist and pull me into his side, gently kissing my hair. Grace and Carrick watch the interaction and I see their hostility thaw a touch.

"Yes well best not to dwell on such negativity." Carrick murmurs and looks to his wife, imploring her to understand his message. "Welcome back to our home Ana dear. Its so good to see you in such health" He leans down to kiss my cheeks "Lets go sit down, we are making the place look untidy"

* * *

The morning has been littered with awkward pauses and glances, polite conversation and complete avoidance of any controversial topics or problems. That suits me fine for now but If these people think I am the type of girl who will carry on this charade for a long period time they are sorely mistaken. As much as confrontation with these people scares me I truly believe I am not the root cause of the issues and I will not start my new life with Christian having his family disapprove of our union.

We take our places at the imperious dining table for dinner. The same chef which prepared our Christmas feast has been hired again. Lets just pray events of that day do not make a reappearance. Mia joins us in a flurry of activity. She comes bounding in with what looks like the luggage of an entire aircraft, a man I immediately recognise as Kate's brother Ethan along with one other who I can only assume is Mia's new flavour of the month, the waiters are tripping and bumping into all the brightly coloured obstacles Lady Grey has just left abandoned and everyone is rising from the table to greet the newcomers. Without hesitation I leap up to welcome Ethan

" Hi!" I squeal and jump into my old friend's arms. Ethan and I have always been close. He lived with Kate and I for a short while a few years back and we instantly clicked. Ethan possess the very fortunate Kavanugh genes; he is tall, muscular, his striking blond hair is short and styled and the Kavanugh money clearly funds his extensive designer wardrobe. However despite all the riches Ethan is very down to earth which is a quality I have always admired and I suppose why we mesh together well.

" Long time no see Annie" Ethan hugs me tightly as I return his embrace. Just his smell and presence reminds me of Kate and all of a suddenly I miss my old life. Before Christian or even Elliot, it was just Kate, Ethan, Jose and I going to school, hanging out, and growing up finding our way in the world.

" I've missed you" I admit, desperately trying to hold back my emotions. Now is not the time for waterworks. Ethan reluctantly places me back onto the ground but doesn't remove his arms from around my waist

" I'm sorry for what my stupid sister did to you. Believe me I have giving her a piece of my mind on more than a few occasions over these last few months. I can't believe that she could be so reckless and cruel"

"Thank you" I mouth before I feel another familiar hand on the small of my back " Um... Ethan this is Christian. My boyfriend"

" Nice to meet you Christian." Ethan offers a handshake which Christian politely accepts.

" And you are?..." Christian asks coldly. Shit! I didn't think about how our hug could have looked to Christian. I won't lie there have been periods in which Ethan and I have tried to make a go of a relationship but there was always something in the way to stop us.

" Ethan. I am your sister personal assistant, lifelong friend of the lovely Miss Steele and unfortunately older brother of one Kate Kavanugh"

" Oh I see." Christian replies before attempting to drag me away but I resist. I haven't seen Ethan in nearly a year I will not pass up this opportunity because of Christian's jealousy.

" So you are a P.A now?"

" Sure am sugar. The publishing house I was working for in New York went bust and I was out on my ass so I decided to alter my career direction and applied for NYU in the fall"

" You could have always gone and worked for your father at his law firm Ethan. You didn't need to go back to school"

" Are you kidding? You know my father better than anyone Ana, he would have had a field day with my failure. My pride and more importantly my ego prevented me from going down that route. No I asked around, contacted a couple of connections and eventually went for an interview with Miss Grey around October of last year. Why she needs an assistant I do not know but It's only temporary. I just need enough money to put a deposit down on an apartment and a little spare cash for my tuition fees."

" Sounds like you have this all figure out" I praise and Christian grunts with annoyance. His hand never leaving the small of my back. If he was a cat he would have peed on my leg by now.

" You know me, never down and out for long"

"So what are you going to study?"

" I debated for a long while over media studies or physchology but finally decided on the latter. Wanted to do something which would get my father off my back, a respectable profession as he likes to call it"

" You shouldn't let him control you like that Ethan. You loved the publishing world"

" I did but when you are constantly up against "The golden girl" you start to tire of the lectures and the disapproving looks. I love my sister don't get me wrong but that doesn't mean I have to like her all of the time does it?"

" I think we might be in the same boat with that one" I do love Kate despite of what she has done but that really isn't the issue right now.

" So what you up to?"

" Well I am working as an assistant, like you, at SIP"

" Wow Annie that is great. Working your way up. Im proud of you" Ethan flashes me his all American boy toothy smile. That smile can make a woman's heart flutter and sex wet in one fail swoop and once upon a time I was the prime target. Times have change though and it doesn't have the same affect it used to, Christian is the only one who can weaken my knees. I am actually surprised at how quiet he has been I expected a full on caveman to barge in, throw me over his shoulder and precede to carry me out and spank me silly. Thankful for his composed attitude I slide my arm around his waist and nuzzle into his chest. Christian smiles down at me

" Ana!" The unmistakable shriek of the excitable young grey fills the room

" Hey Mia. You look amazing as usual" Its true, this girl always looks perfectly put together and the idea of her in flat shoes and not in a pair of designer heels is laughable.

" You too! Your boobs are huge. Did you get them done?" What! The men all cast their gaze down to inspect the offending area. Maybe it is the bra I am wearing or the tight shirt

" No Mia I haven't. Who is the guy?" I nod my head sideways at the man standing nervously chatting with Carrick.

" That's Calvin. He is an underwear model for Dolce and Gabbana" And much like the men did only seconds ago, my eyes are fixed on his very pronounced package bulging in his tight jeans. Wow. That has to be a sock right? I raise my eyebrows at Mia who winks, mouths " It's real" and laughs

" Okay, Okay enough. I do not need to hear about the size of the dick my sister is currently entertaining" Christian grimaces and we all laugh as we retake out places at the table.

The group are just finishing our fabulous starter of lobster salad with fennel, beetroot and savoury blackcurrants when there is commotion emanating from the entrance hall  
"Well well well doesnt this look cosy"

All heads swing round to see a very inebriated Elliot stumble into the dining room. His hair is unkempt, the clothes hiding his slimmer than usual frame are littered with stains and the bottle of Jack Daniels hanging precariously in his grasp are all indications of a man in trouble  
Carrick sighs and shakes his head "Not again". Senior Grey rises from his place at the head of the table and hurriedly walked towards his eldest son, placing an arms around Elliot's slumped and tired shoulders and escorts him out of the room. It kills me to see the man I used to love in such a state knowing I had a very integral contribution to it. The guilt starts to eat away at me as an awkward silence consumes the room. I now realise why Grace has been so cold with me all of a sudden. Her son is in a downward spiral because of some my actions and events that have transpired. I have to fix this.I excuse myself from dinner and begin the hunt for the drunken idiot.

"Where are you going?" Christian hisses whilst running after me

"To deal with this"

"This is not our problem"

"Are you serious? Yes I know Elliot has done some shitty things to me but I am no better. I practically left him for his brother for fuck sake"

"Ana don't. We don't have to make excuses for our love."

"Your right we don't but I can't just stand back and watch as your brother spirals out of control. We have a history together Christian"

Christian recoils. " What is that suppose to mean? Do you still love him?"

"Now you are just being stupid. Would I agree to marry you if I was still in love with Elliot?"

"No" Christian replies childishly

"Okay so go and chat with your mother, pre warn her about our announcement." I kiss his cheek and head up to Elliot's bedroom. I open the door and I am overcome with memories. There on the bed is my ex boyfriend, hammered and waiting for me like he used to in the past. We would scream and shout at one another then spend the remainder of the night enjoying wild, indulging, almost animalistic sex. Our relationship was toxic from the outset, I realise that now but I craved him at the time. I wanted him so bad and I think if I hadn't of met Christian I might have turned a blind eye to his betrayal which is an equally terrifying and worrying thought

" Its been a while since you and I have been in a bedroom" I joke

" What do you want Ana?" Elliot slurs

"Why are you doing this to yourself Elliot?"

"If you have come in here on your high horse just to lecture me then you can leave. I am not your problem anymore remember? Don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out" He turns so his back is towards me

"Elliot Grey I am not going anywhere so either you talk to me or we can sit here in silence. Lets be honest it won't be the first time"

"Do you know what Ana? You constantly portray yourself as the victim, poor little Anastasia. The girl who was cheated on by the big bad man. I don't know how many times I have apologised to you, we have both told you how much we regret it and how we hate ourselves for it but you continue to drag it all out" Elliot waves his hands around erratically " But let me remind you that you are no saint. Does the name Christian Grey ring a bell?"

" Fuck you Elliot. I never once said I was a victim or a saint. I make mistakes every day but nothing will compare to what you did so I'm sorry if I can't just move on as quickly as his highness would prefer. You did the unthinkable pal and I won't be bullied into letting it slide."

"No you would rather watch me suffer"

"Oh and this has been a barrel of laughs for me has it? You may not have been around to witness it but I have a had the worst few months of my life with nobody around to support me but Christian. I have no friends, no family here. I am practically alone"

Anger lingers in the air...

" I came to see you in the hospital"

"You did?"

" Mom called and informed me of the shooting. Would have never happened if you stay with me"

"That's below the belt Elliot"

"Only stating the facts" He takes another swig of the Jack Daniels " Despite what you might think our relationship wasn't as torturous as you make out. We were in love. We were happy"

"We were addicted to each other"

"I still love you Ana"

"Stop it!"

"I still lie awake at night thinking about your perfect body under my fingertips" He stands and falls over to me.

"Your drunk and i'm with Christian"

"I know you want me baby" Elliot whispers and brushes his lip against my cheek

"No!" I push him away and turn to leave

"You can deny it all you want but the infatuation with my brother will wear off soon enough. Under all the money, success and grandeur he is fucked up Ana. Far beyond anyone's help."  
"Your wrong"

"I'm right and you know it. I can tell you are already getting bored of his shit. He put you in danger and yes the threat might be gone for now but for how long? There is always someone lurking around the corner waiting to pounce, to find a way to hurt him and my darling you are now a huge flashing neon sign " Property of Christian Grey. Come have at it" He doesn't have anyone else, we all were tired of his bullshit years ago"

" You really are disgusting Elliot. Jealous is such an ugly trait. What a lovely thing to pass onto your child"

Elliot stills. His eyes transfixed on mine

"How the fuck did you know about that" He snarls

"She came to see me and told me about her pregnancy. Great job babe, were you too drunk or lust filled to remember to wrap your dick up?"

" I thought she was on the pill"

" Yeah well looks like your both thick as pigshit. Am I in danger? Do I need to go and get tested? How utterly embarrassing that I have to walk into a clinic and be checked for a sexually transmitted disease all because the man I loved could keep his dick in his pants."

" Hey it's not like we were having that much sex as it was"

" No Elliot we weren't and the reason for that was because you weren't around. Kate was occupying that particular job"

" Are you ever going to forgive us?"

" Are you going to man up and be a father?" I ask completely ignoring his question

" She won't talk to me. I have been trying for weeks to see her but she clearly wants to do this alone. So fine fuck her"

" Look I know you have a whole world of issues swimming around that head but you are not this man and you know Kate. She is pushing you away because she doesn't want to get hurt. She thinks its the right thing to do by me but she is wrong. I'm not some bitter twisted old witch who wants her to suffer. Kate needs help, I don't want her to accept her fate as a single mother if you are willing to be there to support her. I don't want to see it or hear about it but this innocent child deserves the love of two parents. Of two people who...love each other"

" I ruined everything Ana. I love you. I love Kate. The idea of having a child has never been an option for me however the more I consider it the more I see a carbon copy of me running around, us playing sports in the backyard, teaching my boy how to ride a bike or to fish. Doing all the things I did with my dad.

" You will have that even if you and Kate can't make it work. Co parenting will be the next best thing"

" I thought i would have all of that with you"

For fuck sake. And I thought Christian was mercurial

" No you didn't. Stop deluding yourself"

"You will come back to me"

"Keep dreaming"

"It will be better than last time baby. I will make sure of it"

" It's just not going to happen Elliot. Let. It. Go!"

" Why not? Give me one reason, other than the obvious"

"I'm engaged"

"What!?"

"Christian asked me to marry him yesterday and I accepted"

"No please this can't be happening" Elliot frantically shakes his head

"I love him with every fibre of my being. He is my other half. Talk to Kate. Be a man" I walk out the door and down the spiralling white staircase

"Ana!"

"You need to get a grip of your life. if not for yourself then for your child Elliot. Stop living in the past" I reach the bottom step and straight into Christian's embrace"

" Is everything alright?" Christian whispers as he hold me tight, protecting me from the drunk man storming down in a rage

" You! What the fuck man. First you steal her away from me then you get her shot. We finally start talking again then you go and fucking propose!" Elliot screams

" You need to calm down"

" Like fuck i do. How could you do this?"

" We love each other"

" Whatever. She is just another piece of ass to you."

" Oh really and what was she to you? Clearly not much"

" You have no idea! I love them both!"

" Tough shit Elliot. You can't have both, the spoilt rich kid act doesn't apply here. I love Anastasia and we are to be man and wife. Deal with it"

" Christian!" A gasped cry echo's from behind us. Everyone has been standing watching this car crash unfold. Why can't anything go right in my life? As a young girl you dream of announcing your engagement; Champagne, smiles, hugs, congratulatory kisses, parties, excited girls squealing immediately pulling out bridal magazines from thin air. Instead I get a drunk ex, waring brothers and an audience of people who are lukewarm about me to say the least.

Christian squares his shoulders and clears his throat. " We were hoping to announce this a bit more formally but my prick of a brother put the kibosh on that"

" Fuck you" Elliot murmurs

" Yesterday I asked my beautiful girlfriend to marry me and she accepted. We are officially engaged" Christian's smile is as bright as the sun

Grace approaches us with caution " Honey don't you think this is all a bit sudden?"

" No" Christian says flatly

" You have been through a lot together in such a short space of time we understand that maybe your relationship is a little more intense as a result but darling you don't really know each other all that well"

" Mother Anastasia knows more about me than even you I regret to inform you"

" There is no need to turn cruel Christian. I am merely stating the facts"

" No you are stating what you believe to be fact. This woman knows everything about me and she still continues to stay and love me. You may not agree with the way we began or how things have progressed since but this is happening. We are getting married, sooner rather than later if I can help it, and as much as I would love to have my family there on our special day if your not then so be it.

" Christian you are my youngest son and to see you this happy is a gift but surely you can see some of your father and I's reticence"

" Actually" Carrick interrupts " I am over the moon about this. Yes there has been ups and downs, trials and tribulations but these two have survived it all with their love and more importantly their lives in tact. Being completely honest with you son I never thought I would see the day when you would walk through those front doors and inform us of an engagement. Ana is perfect for you, any fool can see that and I have no doubts in my mind that you two will have a fulfilling and long lasting life together. As a father I want nothing more than to see my children happy settled and safe. Go plan your wedding to this beautiful young woman and we will all be there to wish you a life time of happiness and truly mean it. It's about time this family stopped the arguing and fighting, learnt to move on and let bygones by bygones. Christian I am very proud of you son and Ana welcome to our family. I love you both."

I brush the tears away and embrace Carrick. Of everyone in this family he is the last person I expected to get support and approval from. I know Christian is especially touched by his fathers speech and as they share a father/son moment I turn to Elliot and clasp his hands between mine, deciding to act upon Carrick's words of wisdom.

" I forgive you"

" What?" He looks up confused

" I forgive you but I won't forget what you did to me. I am tired of holding a grudge and I know now that by doing just that I am preventing everyone from moving on. You hurt me more than anyone as ever has there is no denying that but we are going to be a family, a peaceful one even if it kills me because that is what Christian deserves. I have to be civil around you for the rest of my life and I will need to time to learn how to do that. Repair the damage with Christian. He needs you and you need him. I want you at our wedding but if you find it too difficult I understand but I know it would mean the world to your brother if you were there and even if you consented to being his best man. And as for Kate you already have my somewhat reluctant blessing. Do right by your child and Kate. Your a good man Elliot. Don't waste your life on what could have been or what if's"

Mia is by my side in an instant l, tugging my hand desperate to inspect the rock on my finger. I retrieve it from my Hermes purse and slip it back into its rightful place

" Holy shit. This is spectacular" Mia states in amazement " Christian I knew you had taste but you have exceeded my expectations. Although I am a little pissed you didn't include me in the ring shopping. I could have taken you around all the best jewellers; Cartier, Tiffanys, Lorraine Schwartz, Harry Winston, Bulgari... "

" Mia Mia Mia enough" Christian holds his palms up in mock surrender and laughs

" Sorry I am just so excited! How did he propose because if you didn't do it properly and get down on your knee I will beat your ass"

Christian launches into the whole anecdote and everyone is enthralled. By the time he finishes he has successful fed his sister appetite for details and raises my excitement levels. I am going to be someone's wife! Not just anybody's oh no. Christian fucking Grey's wife.

Deciding to call it a day, Christian and I collect our coats and say our goodbyes. Elliot has returned to his room to sober up and hopeful call Kate. Something I should consider doing. I can't very well tell Elliot I forgive him and not do the same for Kate although it will be a much harder conversation.

Christian is helping me into my jacket when Grace appears in front of us.

" I am happy for you two. In fact I am ecstatic. I love you so much Christian" Grace begins to cry and Christian puts an arm around her shoulder " My sad troubled little boy is happy for the first time in his life and that is because of you Ana so I thank you. And I am sorry if I have upset you or caused you any harm. It's just I am very protective over my children and Christian in particular for obvious reasons. If you will have me I would be honoured if you would allow me to help plan your wedding."

" Of course Grace. It would be my pleasure" We smile at each other and hug before breaking away so Christian and I could leave. For the first time I feel a part of his family.

Anastasia Grey. Sounds fucking kick ass!


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N So I have finally managed to kick the writers block which hit me half way through this chapter. **

**I have started a new story Rescue Me which has suffered the same fate as this, I have a half written chapter so if I can work through this damn writers block it should be posted later on this week. Go check out the first taster chapter and see what you think**

**As usual thank you for all your reviews!**

Driving down the highway my mind starts to drift. Christian and I have just had the most glorious and relaxing weekend away to celebrate our engagement. My future husband booked us into a luxury retreat outside of the city and whisked me away the morning after our showdown at the Grey's. We have been pampered, primped and personally I have been sexed within an inch of my life. Definitely not complaining though. When you have a fiancé who is as sexy and irresistible as mine you tend to pounce upon any sexual opportunity that presents itself. However I am now without said man and travelling into what feels like more drama. Firstly I am surprised I am even driving. The plan all weekend was that Christian and I would travel home together, spend one last night in out post-engagement bubble before we both return to our respective jobs. That was in an ideal world, reality in fact throws you a curve ball and in this instance that curve ball was Ros and a bout of the flu leaving her bed ridden and Christian hopping into the car and back to GEH to regain control.

So now I am alone and speeding towards Seattle. My stomach in knots and doing some kind of Olympic gymnastics routine. I am determined that my new life as a married woman will not start off with bad blood lingering over our heads which why I have chosen to forgive the two who have hurt me so much. Elliot in a way was easier because I have somebody in his place and who I love endlessly. Kate however feels different. I don't have another best friend.

As thoughts of our friendship consume me, the poignant lyrics of Emeli Sande drift through the car

_"I guess it's funnier from where your standing_

_Cause from over here I missed the joke_

_Clear the way for my crash landing_

_I've done it again, another number for your notes_

_I'd be smiling if I wasn't so desperate_

_I'd be patient if I had the time_

_I could stop and answer all of your questions_

_As soon as I find out how I can move from the back of the line_

_I'll be your clown_

_Behind the glass_

_Go ahead and laugh cause its funny_

_I would too if I saw me_

_I'll be your clown_

_On your favourite channel_

_My life's a circus circus_

_Round In circles_

_I'm selling out tonight."_

The tears trickle down my cheeks as I listen to the words. For years I felt inferior to Kate. She has everything; she is gorgeous, men fall at her feet just begging for her to give them the time of day, her parents are wealthy and were able to give her and Ethan a good education and upbringing, her career prospects are bright and she has a legion of friends. I was just always so glad to be in her presences and to be associated with the great Katherine Kavanugh. It may sound childish but that feeling of "being in with the popular crowd" is so tempting it can cloud any rational judgement. I was a doormat. Weak. Always felt like the butt of the joke and that may not have been intentional but nevertheless true. Kate isn't the Regina George character i sometimes portraying in my mind though. There is this side of Kate which is fiercely loyal, protective and kind. When that girl is in your corner she will fight to the death for you. Case in point was when half way through my first semester at college I had some issues with this girl Zoey. Of course I didn't fit in with most of the cliches around campus; I didn't care about designer clothes, didn't spend spare moments gossiping about The Bachelor or the hotness of Ryan Gosling. Books kept my mind occupied most of the time and I preferred to stay in and meet my deadlines than going out to some exclusive nightclub and picking up some college douche. This refusal

to conform made me a target. Zoey would sit behind me in lectures on purpose just so she could kick the back of my seat or whisper shit in my ears. She would position herself in front of me in the library just so she could shoot daggers and she attempted to start some false rumours around about me. I kept this all a secret because it was humiliating and admitting that she was getting to me would only have played into her hands but one day Kate got wind of it. We had been sharing a dorm room together and already had started to become close. She heard what had been going on from a class mate who had filled her in on Zoey's bullying. Next thing I knew Kate had the bitch held against the brick wall threatening to beat the living daylights out of her and to accidentally reveal to everyone about her little dalliance with the local crackhead. Safe to say I was never bothered again and from that moment on she was my best friend. I spent near enough every waking moment of my college life with her.

Sucking in a deep breath i knock three times on the front door. It feels wrong to be waiting to be let into the place which had been my home for so long. It's just a sign of how much we have drifted apart. The door swings open and a surprised and very pregnant Kate stands in the threshold

" Hi."

"Hi" The awkwardness penetrating the air

"This is a shock. Never in a million years would I have expected you to be standing here, I'm really pleased you are though Ana. Its so good to see you" Kate moves forward to envelop me in a warm embrace but I freeze and she takes the hint and backs off, content with just rubbing my arm softly

"I know. I just have something i have to talk to you about"

" Okay sure. Come on in."

"Thanks"

I walk in and nothing has changed. The furniture is still situated in the same place, the usual vase of purple tulips sit on the breakfast bar and Paramore is blasting from her bedroom. What hits me the most however is the scent. My heart aches. This apartment and Kate was the closest thing I had to a home and a family and as much as I love my parents their separation was extremely hard on me and removed that sense of security which only returned when I moved into this small compact apartment

" Would you like a drink?"

"No thanks" I want to just get down to business and hash this out with her. It has gone on long enough

" So what's up?"

" Has Elliot been in touch?"

" Um yeah. He called me a few days ago asking about the baby."

" That's good. I'm glad"

"You are?"

" Yes. This child deserves the best chance in life Kate and having two loving parents is that."

" Wow. Why the change of heart?"

" I have some news of my own which has forced me into doing some rethinking"

" Oh yeah?"

" Christian asked me to marry him"

" Oh Ana that's amazing" This time she doesn't hesitate to jump up and hug me. It should feel weird and uncomfortable but strangely it doesn't. It is what I know now I have been yearning for. I tentatively return her embrace and struggle to hold back my emotions. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let her worm her way back into my life and that still sticks but there is no harm in taking those first steps to recovery and maybe just maybe this moment right here are exactly those first steps.

" Yeah. I shall soon be Mrs Grey"

" I am so happy for you" Tears well in her eyes " Sorry hormones"

" It's okay. This is a really joyous time in my life but there is one thing that is killing me and that is not having a best friend to share it with. Kate I always thought when I got married we would plan it together and you would be my maid of honour. You know going wedding dress shopping, visiting the florists, you planning some inappropriate Hen night which would send Christian thermonuclear. But I am doing this alone. We are both facing huge milestones in our lives without one another and at this moment in time I hate you for causing that to happen.

" I want you to know my baby. My child should know their Auntie Ana, the sweetest person on the planet."

" It hurts my heart that it won't happen like it should. There is a part of me which is screaming to just let this all go, give you a bear hug and tell you that we should just be like we were before but I know life doesn't work that way. Even if that was to happen I know I would constantly be wondering what you are doing, always on heighten awareness when Christian is around you and you can bet your bottom dollar that I would never let you two be alone in the same room. What kind of friendship is that? Trust is something I don't give easily and you have known that from the start so when somebody abuses it I find it hard. In this case rebuilding that trust is something I neither have the energy for or the confidence in my capabilities to do."

" I had a dream the other night"

"What? Kate are you even listening to me?" Jeez that girl is exasperating!

" Just wait." She holds her palms up "I had a dream that none of this had happened. There was no Elliot, no baby and no Christian. Just you and me. Like old times but we were older an still friends but you were pulling away from me. You had seen through this mask I put on for everyone and I no longer lived up to your expectations. My whole life everyone has seen me as the lively outgoing girl who can fuck a man and put a girl in her place at the same time without even bating an eyelid. I have news for you Ana deep down I am not that girl. I cry myself to sleep every night because I can't continue to play this character anymore. You think you are the only one with issues? With your friendship I found someone who saw through all the crap and loved me for me. You are the only one who has seen me without make up, picked up the pieces when I let my guard down and allowed somebody to get close only for them to break my heart and leave me vulnerable and you Ana are the only person I have allowed to see a glimpse of the real me"

" Kate" I cry. Buckets of tears are seeping from both of our eyes

" I haven't got a clue what possessed me to do what I did and as many times as I've said this I don't think you have truly listened to me. I am so sorry. I have made so many mistakes and hurt so many people but that selfish bitch has been left behind and I wish I could say it was entirely because of seeing the devastation I caused, and that undoubtedly is a factor, but something bigger was the catalyst . This baby growing inside of me is why I am changing. I have created life and you may not want to hear this Ana but it was done out of love. I will stay away from Elliot for the rest of my life to prevent causing you anymore harm however I will not lie to you or myself and say I didn't love him because I do. I truly believe I wouldn't have betrayed you if I didn't have strong feelings for Elliot but that is over now. The only goal I have in life now is to set a good example for my child.

" I want you to be happy"

" Ditto sista!" We both swipe at our tears and giggle at Kate's reply

" How is your pregnancy going?" I ask genuinely interested

" Better now. I wasn't looking after myself properly at the start and morning sickness was kicking my ass but my second trimester has been a lot smoother. This whole bump thing is really excited, I love waking up every morning and seeing that my stomach has grown just a that little bit more. Its a sign that the baby is healthy and I am finally doing something right"

"Pregnancy suits you Kate however I am a little disappointed that you look so good" I nugde her with my shoulder " No but seriously you are glowing"

"Thanks Ana. So are we about to here the tiny patter of another mini Grey's feet?" She asks laughing but stops when she realises what she has said " Oh I'm sorry Ana, I didn't think. This baby might not even have the last name Grey its just sometimes easier to say it and maybe sometimes I think about Elliot being involved and wanted our child to have his last name...

"Whoa Kate its okay. Honestly. Um I suppose I haven't really though about it and we haven't really discussed it but yeah I would love a baby. Christian however maybe is a different story but we have our whole lives ahead of us. Plenty of time for children.

"Too right. You would be a great mom"

I can tell she is kissing my ass right now but I didn't really expect anything else quite frankly. " Do you know what your having?"

" No my scan is next week and I am still deciding whether or not to find out. It would be easier to know then I can start buying the right clothes and painting the room. Its just a neutral colour"

"Are you turning my old room into a nursery?"

"Yeah I hope you don't mind?"

" Of course not, its not like I will be moving back in here anytime soon. You know those kind of decisions should be made with Elliot"

" I know but I have shut him out for so long it's hard to open that door. He isn't exactly mature anf the prospect of looking after two children isn't one I am relishing"

"But maybe this is just the kick up the ass he is needing."

"I can't afford to let him in just for him to abandon us further along down the road. And then there is you" She looks at me nervously. As much as my heart is conflicted I know I have to give her my blessing.

" Don't deny yourself for my benefit."

" It's not entirely for your benefit."

" I know but give it some thought"

" I will."

" I told Elliot I have to forgive him and move on so it is only right that you are told the same. "

" What has happened to change your mind"

"Christian is the simple answer. I really do believe if he hasn't entered my life I would have turned into bitter old woman making voodoo dolls of you and Elliot. I am about to be somebody's wife. Kate and I am marrying into the family of the man who betrayed me. We will be around each other constantly so it's not fair to everyone else to carry this on any further. Carrick reminded me of this recently and plus I am tired of carrying around the grudge, I have been shot, kidnapped and threatened all in the last few months and if you take anything from these experiences its that life is too short to be angry. "

" Can't believe little Ana Steele is gonna be the wife of a multi billionaire and I am going to be a mom. We aren't even 25 yet."

" I know it's crazy. I miss you" I admit. It really is nice to just sit and gossip with my friend again. It has been such a long time

" God Ana I miss you too. More than you could ever imagine. This flat is cold and empty without you here"

" Escala is taken some time to get use to. It certainly isn't this place, in fact I reckon this tiny apartment would fit in the great room with ease."

" Are you really happy?"

" I really am. I found a man I worship and who I know will love me for the rest of my life. Let Elliot in. I know you are scared of the unknown but he can help you and he wants to be a part of this baby's life. I have known Elliot for so many years now and there is no denying he can be reckless and selfish at time but beneath it all he is a good kind man who loves you Kate. All I want is for this family to be civil again, for Christian and Elliot to bond as brothers once more and for us to move on. I don't know if our relationship will ever return to how it was, if we will be as close, but for so long you have been my family and I am prepared to lock this in a box and throw away the key in order for us to progress forward,. It won't be all plain sailing and I will get angry and snap at you, I may be hostile sometimes but I don't think you expect me to be happy as Larry with you."

"Thank you for trying again with me" Kate sobs "This will never happen again I sincerely promise you. For the rest of our lives I will always be trying to make it up with you."

"Just be patient."

Kate nods and I finally feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Time to return home to my man.

* * *

My heels click along the tiled floor of the entrance room in Escala. I shed my coat and head into the kitchen to pour myself a much needed glass of crisp Pinot Grigio

" Ana?" Christian's anxious voice echo's through the room

" Hey baby"

Christian saunters through in a white untucked shirt, black pants and bare feet. He looks delicious as usual. He wraps me into his arms and I inhale the new scent of home.

"How did it go?"

"better than expected. How is the empire holding up?"

"Better than expected" he grins as his hands make their way down my back to cup my ass

"So I see." I wiggle my derrière and giggle

"Mmm I adore that sound. Lets see what other noises we can create" And with that he hoists me up into his arms and strides towards our bedroom

"Sounds like an excellent plan Mr Grey"

"We aim to please Mrs Grey"

* * *

" Christian baby?" Its Saturday afternoon and after a busy week I finally have some alone time with my future husband. We have already decided that this time has been put aside and dedicated to planning our wedding but like so many other plans they have gone askew. Christian has been hauled up in his office for hours but now I can hear him rustling through his closet. I am currently still relaxing in bed with the breakfast of pancakes and fruit which Mrs Jones kindly went out of her way to prepare and the morning papers.

" Yep"

" Can you come here a second"

" Ana I'm busy. Is it urgent baby?"

" Yeah it kinda is"

I hear him sigh and before I know it he is in front of me

" You call m'lady"

"Shut up smartass. When I was in hospital did I get my shot?"

"How am I suppose to know that?"

"Are you being serious right now. Christian if you are joking I will kill you"

"Ana you were dying! I had more important things to worry about and besides we hadn't known each other that long so I wasn't aware of you birth control schedule"

"Oh fuck"

"What are you trying to say here Anastasia?" His eyes narrow and brows furrow with annoyance"

"Well I just assumed that I would get my shot." I ponder.

"I will call my mother" He storms out the room and I sink down into the sheets.

Five minutes later he reenters the room looking relived.

"My mother just confirmed that your gynecologist paid you a visit whilst I was away one day at the office and gave you a shot. Worry over"

"Umm.. maybe not"

"Fuck what now"

I throw the newspaper at him so he can read the page. His eyes quickly scan the article then widen with surprise

"So there was a mix up and a batch of faulty shots were sent out to clinics by mistake. And yours is on this list?"

"Yeah"

"So you could be..."

"Yeah"

"Have you had any symptoms?"

"Tender breasts, increased sexual libido, I was vomiting all afternoon on Tuesday remember..."

Christian runs his hands through his copper hair. Please don't run from me!

"What are you thinking Christian?"

"I don't know Ana" He whispers and I leap out of the cocoon i've created within the bed and hold him against my chest

"We are in this together. I know it is sudden but this is a good thing Christian. We may not even be pregnant."

"I'm scared" No longer is the strong businessman in my arms but a small vulnerable boy

"Oh me to baby. Me too"

"I'm going to call the doctor and get you an appointment" And with that he pulls away and heads dejectedly out the room and my heart sinks. Just as my life was beginning to get brighter we are hit with another blow. All I can do is hope and pray that Christian comes around and sees what a brilliant father he will be.

**A/N The song is "Clown" by Emeli Sande. Tell me what you think!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Apologies for the wait. This week has been hellish. Real life is kicking my ass and i have been so indecisive about what route to take with this story, everytime i start to write i change my mind and go off into a different direction. On the upside though i have become completely obsessed with the Thoughtless series by SC Stephens, so much so that i haven't read any fanficton (my inbox is bursting) and i managed to read all 3 books in 3 days and that is some feat if you have seen the size of them. Kellan Kyle get in my life like right now!**

**Prepare for a very confused and indecisive Ana**

The stillness of the apartment can sometimes get to me. The way the rain taps against the towering glass windows or the constant ticking emanating from the abundance of clocks situated around every corner, they should be a relaxing soundtrack but here they fuel for paranoia and can send you crazy. This opulent palace deserves to be filled with joy and laughter. With every room a person should be greeted by another happy face that warms the heart. Instead Escala has far too many empty spaces and white walls. Its clinical and its a whopping great symbol of the old sad dominant Christian. My reluctance to move in was in essences to do with these factors. Disregarding the speed of our relationship, this place has always intimated me. It is a ever obvious reminder of what can happen when you shut everybody out and become a one man island and although Christian has come on leaps and bounds in terms of opening up and allowing me to enter his heavily guarded heart there is still so many obstacles to overcome, our current predicament showcases that.

It is Monday afternoon and i am sitting at my desk distracted once again. The workplace is not suitable for someone with a sulking fiance and the weight of the world resting upon their shoulders. Tomorrow is , our appointment with Dr Green. We are having to wait a few days to see the doctor because even the great and powerful Christian Grey couldn't manipulate his way around this one. Off of my own back i have taking 5 home pregnancy tests which have all turned out to be positive. I took them alone. The only time Christian has spoke to me was to confirm the appointment and even then that was just a murmur and no eye contact was given. So we are stuck at an impasse and a silent one at that. Of course i didn't expect Christian to pop open the champagne and shout how happy he is that i am carrying his child from the rooftops but i expected some sort of a reaction. I got nothing. No smiles, no shouting, screams of either joy or fury. Just blank. This is when the accelerated pace of our relationship becomes a hindrance. In most other cases, when the topic of pregnancy occurs you normally have a back catalogue of experiences to call upon and can take an informed course of action only i don't possess that trick. I am left to work out how to handle the situation by using guesswork and i don't like that feeling. Half of our problem is undoubtedly our combined stubbornness, neither one of us are willing to relinquish the fight and back down.

A pregnancy was not top on my list of priorities either if i am being honest. Being young and just starting my career this could be a huge spanner in the works and may halt any progression i could encounter, if Jack ever takes that stick out of his ass and stops being the world's biggest prick, however on the flip side i have never given the avenue of motherhood too much thought. Even the surprise of Kate's baby didn't spur any pondering on the subject, i was merely caught up with dealing with the emotions which arose about the troublesome twosome. The symptoms i have been displaying over recent weeks did started those niggling doubts that maybe i am with child and the consequences of such an occurrence but nothing to in depth. Being a mother in my mind is possibly the most important role a woman will ever take on. We are responsible for bringing a life into this world, ensuring it has a safe environment in which to grow and once the child arrives we have to teach it how to be an asset to society. You have to care, love, protect and nurture this tiny human being and maybe in the process you will suffer heartache and a number of difficulties but it is all worth it. All i have to do now is convince Christian of this.

Before my thoughts start to consume me even further, the office erupts into nervous whispers and glances. The usual laid back environment has become unusually tense. The reason for this appears three seconds later as my angry and stern looking man strides through the open plan space. Woman slyly check out his ass, much to my displeasure, the tapping of keyboard keys increases and suddenly everyone is fascinated with what is on their computer screens. For a horrible moment i think he is coming in here to cause a scene and start a fight but instead he walks straight past me and into Jack's office, slamming the door for good measure. Taylor is hot on his heels with Sawyer behind looking as equally confused as i. There isn't any logical reason for being here except to see me, Christian has no ties to SIP as far as i know but then again when does he tell me anything. I have to practically force him to relay any information. Deciding to ignore the fact he is here i carry on with the meaninglessness task Jack has set me, seriously when did sealing envelopes become part of my job description. All of a sudden a huge roar booms from Jack's office, Christian is screaming at my boss. Is he determined to ruin this for me? If i am fired and he leaves me i have nothing! Not prepared to stand by and watch him destroy this for me i rush in to put a stop to it. Christian has Jack by the scruff of the neck against the wall with Taylor not even bothering to attempt to restrain him.

"Christian!" I shout trying to get his attention but he ignores me

"All this time. I knew you had something to do with this" Christian bellows " The background check didn't do you justice Mr Hyde, it seems you have quite the colourful past. Drugs, gambling, sex trafficking i could go on but frankly it makes me sick. How the fuck did you manage to hide it for so long?"

"I am a clever man Mr Grey" Jack replies with a sneer which turns my stomach

"How did you know Elena you slimy bastard"

Jack turns his head and refuses to answer. Big mistake. Christian knees him in the groin and slams his body hard once again into the wall " Answer me!"

"At the club... You know... Seems i'm not the only one that likes a bit of rough" Jack stutters then turns his creepy gaze in my direction "who would have guessed you liked to be whipped Miss Steele, we could have a lot of fun" He licks his lips and stares at my breasts. Christian loses all control and begins to hit Jack in the face. Over and over again. I cower into the corner wrapping my arms around my chest and Sawyer stands in front of me in case this gets even more out of hand. Taylor finally jumps into action and pulls Christian off of Jack's slumped body.

"If you ever fucking touch her i will kill you! Do you hear me!?" Christian leg still manages to land one final blow to Jack's body as Taylor drags him away " You are fired you sleazy piece of shit. The police will be here any second to throw your ass in prison and i hope you rot in hell. I will take personal pleasure watching you wither and die behind bars with the rest of your fucking buddies."

"Its all your fault" Jack murmurs, blood is dripping from his mouth and nose

"Excuse me" Christian spits

" If it wasn't for you i would have left her alone" Jack points a finger at me "She isn't all that, i like girls with more up top like Lelia. Lelia is a good fuck isn't she Christian? Even better when she is on her knees, shacked up with a mouth full of dick. I bet the little princess over there doesn't do that for you does she?

" Shut the fuck up!"

"No! The only reason she got the job was because i found out she was seeing you. Not the only one with contacts Mr Grey. From then on it was easy. All i had to do was put on a smile, lay on the charm, call Elena to inform her of my new assistant and hook her up with every thing she needed. You think you are so protected, you surround yourself with big burly security but they can't do shit can they? That bitch over there was shot and where were you then huh?"

Christian is about to let rip again but the police burst through and immediately apprehend Jack. What the fuck just happened! Jack was involved with Elena? How did i not know this? I worked closely with the man day in day out and i never suspected a thing. Yes he gives me the creeps and he was dating Lelia but i just figured that he was fooled like the rest of us. Turns out he was one of the worst and i was stupidly dense. Christian his leaning outstretched on his arms on the wall trying to calm down

"You are now in charge" The first words uttered between us in days knocks me for six

"What!"

He pushes off the wall and pulls a plaque out of a bag on the desk and hands it to me

ANASTASIA GREY, EDITOR

Even though i am angry and confused, Anastasia Grey warms my heart. _He still wants to marry me!_ "I don't understand"

" I bought the company" He simply states like he had just purchased some milk at the store

"When?" I squeak.

"I finalised the contracts this morning. The information about that fucker just landed on my desk an hour ago. This wasn't how i wanted to tell you but..." He shrugs " I have to get back to work"

All i want him to do is hold me. We haven't had any physical contact in two days and it is killing me. Relenting, i surge towards him and practically throw myself around his statuesque frame. It takes a few moments but eventually he returns my hug and wraps me up tight and buries his nose into my hair. We stand there for god knows how long just holding each other, i can't lose him. I know for sure that if we can't get past this i will be reduced to a shell, constantly pining for a life i was only fingertips away from. Taylor clears his throat to indicate to Christian that it is time to leave and in that moment i could have punched the security guard. I was finally beginning to re- connect with Christian and now he is being taken from me.

" Don't fight me on this" He murmurs into my hair and i wonder of what he is referrring to; the position or the baby

"The promotion" Christian answers, reading my thoughts "You deserve it"

With one last sniff of my hair he untangles me from his body and exits with Taylor.

* * *

My day at work has been hellish and i am so glad when the clock strikes five and i get to go home, that is until i remember what the atmosphere is like there. The tender moment i had with Christian earlier on however gives me hope that maybe we have turned a corner. On a whim i decide to sought some much needed advice

"Hey Sawyer" I say brightly as i hop into the SUV " Do you think we can make a quick detour before returning to Escala"

"Umm... sure Miss Steele. Where is it you would like to go?" His tone reeks of uncertainity

"Bellevue"

I am sure even the strangers out on the street could hear Luke's sharp intake of breath when i reveal our destination but ever the professional he covers it with a less than subtle cough which makes me giggle. Luke Sawyer has been assigned to me ever since the shooting and during this period we have become close, much to the disgust of Mr Grey. Despite what Christian may or may not think my relationship with Sawyer is purely platonic, i see him more like an older brother than a romantic interest. He is very different to Taylor which i appreciate, that style of protection just wouldn't suit me. Taylor has had several more years of experience on Luke and it shows. I can't remember a time where Taylor has let his guard slip without good reason which is why i suppose he is such a excellent match for Christian. On the other hand i'm still not used to the whole security concept, of course i know it is necessary after i was nearly killed, but i feel sometimes Christian goes overboard. What harm is done if you chat and joke around. Shouldn't you feel comfortable with the person who effectively is in charge of protecting my life? It is not unusual for Luke and i to share a joke, some conversation on the drive to and from work or exchange a knowning glance when we see Christian approach in a foul mood or the office whore parading her ample bossums around in an inexplicably low cut shirt.

We arrive at the affluent neighbourhood in no time, much to my surprise given the time of day and the level of traffic. I have near enough chewed down my fingernails throughout our journey. I have never actively seeked Grace out she has always been Christian's mother or my doctor but never my confidant. Ensuring Sawyer does not report back to his boss on our location i finally pluck up the courage to face one of my biggest doubters. Alone. A trend which is becoming more and more regular

The housekeeper Gretchen is the one who greets me at the entrance to the house which has hosted much of the drama recently. Gretchen has been snotty with me ever since Christian and i became official and when we annouced our engagement only a week ago i swore i might have to duck as she contemplated throwing the bottle of wine she had in her hand at my head. She isn't the first woman who has displayed that kind of hatred towards me, Christian Grey has a long line of female admirers and now that i am to become his wife i'm sure my face is on voodoo dolls across the nation.

"Hi" I gift the unfriendly housekeeper a small smile, albiet with a tinge of smugness. " I am here to see Dr Grey" It still doesn't feel approriate to call his parents by their given names. It would maybe be okay with Carrick because after his speech on the day of our engagement annoucement i feel accepted by him but Grace is still a no go. I don't want her to hate me anymore than she already does.

"Mrs Grey is around here somewhere. I shall go and call on her, please take a seat. Would you like something to drink?" Gretchen's professionalism kicks in. She ushers me into the spacious lounge area then skittles off to find Grace. This house, like Escala, intimdates me; the high ceilings, the imperious paintings, the expensive china and just generally the whole ambience of the place screams class. When Christian and i are married and looking for a place to raise a family i hope he doesn't choose a house like this, as they say less is more. It occurs to me that the scenario is much closer than i realised. If i am indeed with child those types of decisions will need to be made in the coming weeks. I turn when i hear the clipping of heels behind me and sure enough the elegant figure of Dr Grace Grey appears

"Anastasia dear, i wasn't expecting you" She kisses both my cheeks

"I know, i'm sorry for just stopping by but i wanted your advice on something"

"Oh... What can i help you with?"

Here goes...

"There is a very high possiblity that i am pregnant"

The shock on her face that i was expecting to see doesn't appear instead she nods and smiles

"Congratulations"

"Your... i mean... you are okay with this?"

"Ana dear, I know i haven't always been welcoming towards you and for that i can only profusely apologize but i know, as does anyone that comes into contact with the two of you, that there is a deep and pure love which exists there."

I swallow the lump stuck in my throat " Thank you"

"There is no need to thank me. How is Christian handling this?"

"He isn't" I state simply.

"My son is complicated if you haven't already worked that out" She softly laughs " But he loves you Ana"

"But what if that isn't enough? There has to be a final straw at some point and you know Grace, i think this is it" My emotions are quickly getting the best of me as i finally voice my concerns and they become all too real. The day Christian walks out on me and our unborn child is only a matter of days away in my mind

"Nonsense" Grace scoffs " My boy had the worst start in life imaginable and i am sure he is terrified of what he went through being repeated on his own child but what he fails to see is that throughout his adult life he has ensured that steps are put in place to prevent ever returning to that small, lost, broken little boy and he has succeeded in so many aspects of his life as a result, this is no different. Every prospective parent becomes hampered by doubts, i am sure you are having a few, but once that small bundle of joy is placed into your arms those niggling worries fly out of the window and are replaced by the strongest love you will ever experience. Personally i never got to carry a child and give birth so you could say i haven't got a right to say that to you but when all three of my children were handed over to me it felt just the same"

"He is petrified"

"Has he seen Flynn?"

"I dont know"

"Why is that dear?"

"Because we aren't speaking"

"What!" Grace shouts and startles me

"I found the article in the paper, showed him and he just walked out without a second glance. He has been hiding in his office ever since. He won't even sleep in the same bed as me Grace, its like if he does he will impregnate me again and i will give birth to twins"

"That stubborn boy!"

"I don't want to lose him Grace" I whisper and my eyes become blurred with unshed tears

"Oh honey you won't." She moves to sit beside me and hugs my shaking body "Shhh we will fix this"

* * *

I leave Grace with a new spring in my step and a determination to fight whether that is for my family or as a single mother. Grace spent the next hour relaying stories of her struggle to concieve, the problems Carrick and Grace had as a result and Christian as a child and how much she enjoyed watching the timid skinny boy blossum into the man he is today. Hearing the pride and admiration in her voice for her son made me excited about my own child.

When i return home Christian is once again taking refuge in his office and i snap. I have had enough, he is a grown man and yes he has issues but that is not a reason to shut me out and act like a three year old. For years i managed on my own and i can sure as hell do it again, call it survival instincts hell it may even be my maternal instincts but i would pick myself up and dust myself off. Undoubtedly raising our child alone would be the toughest mission of my life but our child is more than worth it and that little boy or girl would remind me every day of the love Christian and i shared. That of course is the last option. There is no way i am walking away without a fight, we have too much to lose. I head to the bedroom and strip off my work clothes and slip into some sweats and a tank top. Eyeing up the abandoned laptop on the bed and idea pops into my head. The easiest form of communcation my mother had always tried to instill in me was the written word. Now i could sit here and write some long heartfelt letter to him detailing how much faith i have in him, to try and describe the depth of my love and how i will be by his side as his dutiful wife every step of the way but i know Christian and one look at my words and he would crumble and refuse to read anymore knowing whatever is on that page is the truth and sometimes having it staring back at you is not always the best option. The only other available form of interaction with the obstinate man, short of barging into his office and demanding he listens to me, is email. We normally use it to send flirty messages during the work day, the light hearted conversations never fail to brighten my mood and fire up my want for him. With my mind set on email i flip open the laptop lid and get to work on Project Christian

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Alone

Date: March 4 2013 19:34

To: Christian Grey

Have you had dinner yet?

* * *

Start off casual...

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Re:Alone

Date: March 4 2013 19:37

To: Anastasia Steele

Yes. Gail has left you some in the oven to heat up

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Hungry

Date: March 4 2013 19:40

To: Christian Grey

What was on the menu?

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Re:Hungry

Date: March 4 2013 19:43

To: Anastasia Steele

Chicken Pesto Pasta. Where were you?

* * *

Ha! now we are getting some where. His concern for my whereabouts is my first step in the door

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: M.I. A

Date: March 4 2013 19:45

To: Christian Grey

Why do you even care? You haven't shown much interest recently

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Watch it!

Date: March 4 2013 19:43

To: Anastasia Steele

Don't start Ana! I have had a few things on my mind if you haven't noticed. Just answer my question

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: No its time you watched it!

Date: March 4 2013 19:48

To: Christian Grey

Oh and i am sitting around without a care in the world Christian? When you finally decide to stop being so god damn selfish you may realise that i am currently going through what should be the happiest time of my life alone. i am scared that you have falling out of love with me, that i am going to have to do this as a single mother, as a woman who is completely and utterly heartbroken. I know you are terrified Christian but you have me. I am about to become your wife. i will share your life but you have to be willing to let me in. Talk to me!

* * *

I wait and i wait...

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: I am...

Date: March 4 2013 19:59

To: Anastasia Steele

going to fail you. That child. I don't want to but that's just what happens. I love you more than anything or anyone on this planet but Anastasia you will leave me when i can't be the man you want me to be. Oh Ana i am more screwed up than you will ever realise. For some unknown reason you are only able to see the good in me but i can assure you that the bad far outweights the good. My childhood has had such a huge impact on the rest of my life and i'm sorry but i refuse to transfer that onto an innocent baby. Yes i have achieved many things but in retrospect it really is inconsequential, money is worthless to a child. How could i possibly be a father?

* * *

His email floors me. This is the first time throughout all of this that he has been honest with me.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: You are...

Date: March 4 2013 20:05

To: Christian Grey

The kindest, most loving man i know. Baby you may think that you haven't had good parental role models but you are wrong in fact you have the best. Grace and Carrick are prime examples of two people who put aside their own personal troubles and dedicated their lives and love to their three adopted children. Do you think it was easy for Grace to accept that she would never carry her own child? That woman had wanted children her whole life and was devastated when the doctor told her that she couldn't. We have been given a gift Christian and your are going to be a great father. We will enter into this together. I am never leaving you. Ever

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: I am in awe of you

Date: March 4 2013 20:09

To: Anastasia Steele

Your faith in my ability astounds me...

How did you find all this information out about my parents?

* * *

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Never underestimate me Mr Grey

Date: March 4 2013 20:11

To: Christian Grey

I went to see her after work, that is why i wasn't at dinner. Finally i think we are starting to make some headway. I do have faith in you, buckets full of it.

Don't think i have forgotten about the whole Jack Hyde/SIP debacle buddy.

* * *

From: Christian Grey

Subject: All in due course...

Date: March 4 2013 20:14

To: Anastasia Steele

I love you.

* * *

I release the breath i didn't realise i was holding and the relief is clear. Within a minute i have successfully ran from our bedroom to his office, swooping up a bottle of god knows what on my way. We have avoided each other for nearly 48 hours now so when i finally come face to face with the handsome features of one Mr Grey i nearly swoon and drop to my knees to worship at his feet like a 15 year old who has just met One Direction, i am disreguarding our earlier interaction at SIP because he was so angry. We stand staring at each other for a while before i take the initiative and reach for his balled up fists and drag him into the great room. From the moment i laid eyes on Christian i knew he was man full of misconceptions and very uptight so i figure the only way to loosen him up is to... well get him drunk. And by that i mean off his face.

Three hours later and Christian has successfully achieved a state of drunkenness. Its glorious. For once i am not worried about his mood suddenly changing, he is merry and hilarious. I am of course sticking to soda but Christian has polished off almost two bottles of wine and has started on the Whiskey. Christian has removed his shirt so his ripped chest is fully on show and because i haven't had sex in a while and i am pregnant it is highly distracting and a testiment to my willpower. If this was the other way around i have no doubts that by now Christian would have carried me into the bedroom and be balls deep inside of me

"Annnnnd then i pulled him off his girl " He stands or should i say stumbles up and staggers over to the sound system " sooooooo he could do dis with meeeee"

Christian is telling me all about his relationship with Elliot. It sounds like these two were really close when they were growing up which is why i am surprised Elliot didn't know anything about Elena and it saddens me that those two don't have that kind of relationship anymore. I think Christian could really benefit from that and now that are both going to be fathers, that may just be the starting point for them to bond over. With a shit-eating grin he pressed play on the machine and the instantly recognisable jangle of the symbols echo's out

"No!" I shake my head violently. He is going to hurt himself!

_"This speech is my recital, i think its very vital_

_To rock a rhyme that's right on time_

_It's tricky is the title, here we go..."_

He is attempting to criss cross his feet and failing miserably

"Christian stop!"

"Baby just watch. This is fucking awesome!"

_"It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time_

_It's tricky... its tricky tricky tricky tricky_

_It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time_

_It's tricky... tr-tr-tr-tricky ( tricky) trrrrrrrrrrricky_

Oh. My. God. His breakdancing is appaling. He tries to spin on his hand, but falls. His legs are like jelly. And well his "Gangsta" moves, the less said about them the better.

_"I met this little girlie, her hair was kinda curly"_

Christian points to me and giggles. My side aches from the laughter

_"Went to her house and bust her out, i had to leave real early_

_These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me_

_Or spend some time and rockrhyme, i said "It's not that easy_"

He wiggles that delectable ass in my face and i reach out to pinch it

"Ana! Step away from my junk" He wags his finger at me and acts morally outraged, he then tries to spin on his head but falls hard on the floor instead. I leap up worried but there is no need. He is layng laughing his ass off like a small boy. Oh why can't our life always be like this.

Before he causes himself some serious harm i direct him towards our room and start the impossible task of getting him ready for bed. If he isn't kissing my neck he is fondling my breasts. On more than one occasion he attempts to strip me of my pants and glide his fingers into my folds but alas he is poking around like a teenage boy, his cock is at half mast anyway which is no good to me. My head eventually hits the pillow and i reflect on the day. Christian still hasn't told me about Jack but that is my fault. Tomorrow.

"I love you Ana"

I turn and see him watching me

"And i am going to try with all my heart to be a good father" His eyes ooze with sincerity

**A/N This is only the beginning and honestly i still haven't decided what route to take. I have various "scenes" already written but i just have to figure out if i want to use them. The song is "Tricky" by Run DMC**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N So i finally worked out where i want to go with this story from here on out. I hope you like and are interested in what i have chosen to do, the subject matter for this chapter and the next is something very close to my heart. The two songs i have picked are worth listening to if you can just to put it all into context**

**Enjoy!**

I wake up the next morning with renewed faith. Last night was indeed the breakthrough i had hoped for. Christian's late night pledge was exactly what i wanted and now i feel confident that we will pull through and he will finally accept that he will become a father. Already having slept in longer than i intended to, i hurriedly strip out of my silk nightgown and into the blue skinny jeans, thin grey tank top and black army boots i had picked out last night before bed. I gather my too long hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head and leave my make up simple with a light coat of YSL Touche Eclat Foundation and Concealer, some long lasting Chanel Mascara and some baby pink lipstick. Adding my green jacket with the leather sleeves and a Hermes Birkin bag which has become my staple fashion accessory, i am out the door and in the car on the way to Christian's office in record time. Sawyer hands me a few bottles of still water to drink in preparation for the ultrasound.

Despite having one hell of a hangover my little trooper still managed to haul himself out of bed this morning and into the office. Apparently he has a very important breakfast meeting with some potential business associates which is why we have to stop by and pick him up. My stomach churns as the small seed of doubt begins to worm its way into my thoughts, Did he mean what he said last night? Was it just the ramblings of a drunk man? I don't think my heart could take it if we started ignoring each other again. I shouldn't have worried because as soon as he elegantly climbed in beside me, a kiss was placed on my cheek and a warm smile graced his beautiful face. This is what expectant parents should be like: giddy, excited, happy and in love.

We are rushed into the doctor straight away and i am grateful. Waiting is not a skill either one of us possess. After the inital introductions by Dr Green we are shown to an ultrasound room down the hall. The lights are turned off when i am comfortable on the bed and Dr Green takes a seat on the stool beside it and lifts up my top to expose my stomach. The scars of the shooting are clearly visable and apart from Christian, nobody has seen them. I reach for Christian's hand and grip it tightly. Dr Green squirts cold gel onto my stomach and then begins to move the hand-held probe over the area. Time stands still as she searches for life. Suddenly she slows and i hear Christian gasp. There on the tiny monitor is our baby. A speck. A blur. A child.

"Christian. Ana. I can confirm that you are indeed pregnant." Dr Green smiles.

"I can't believe it" Christian whispers and stares at the screen in amazement.

"Christian" He looks down and at me and the smile spread across his face triggers my tears. He leans down and kiss them away as well as making sure he kisses every inch of my face. We are so absorbed by our happiness that i don't realise that Dr Green is still moving the probe around and pressing down even harder.

"Ana could you just lie still for me a moment" The determination on her face snapping me out of my joy and panic creeps in.

"Is there something wrong" My voice is timid

"I am sure its nothing" She continues to press into my stomach and tap away on the keyboard with the other hand. After a while she hands me a towel to wipe myself and switches the lights back on.

" Before you go i would like to take some blood and could you provide me with a urine sample?"

"Sure. Is there a reason? "

"Just precautionary at this stage. Don't worry about it. Because of the injuries you sustained from the shooting i have to just make sure everything is in order." Her words soothe me and i ease back into my elated state.

* * *

The next day i feel like i am walking on cloud nine. My irritation with Christian concerning my sudden appointment as editor at SIP drains away as soon as i close the door of my new office and sink down into the executive chair. This is just a small taste of what it feels like to be Christian and surprisingly i am loving it. The end of the day is soon upon me and i am looking foward to returning home to relax in a nice hot bath with a bottle of white wine but instead what i am greeted with nearly knocks me off my feet. The scene before me is truly beautiful. The usual bare and cold great room is now bathed in a warm glow created from the hundreds of candles situated all over. There are flower petals scattered along the floor much like they were on the boat the night Christian proposed. On the small coffee table is a bottle of sparkling fruit juice and two champagne glasses and i can't help but giggle at the sight. On the couch is a selction of baby clothes, toys and equipment such as breast pumps, diapers, pacifers and blankets. A cream bassinet, fully built, is standing off to the left; the material forms a kind of skirt which falls all the way down to the floor and gathers to make a simple hood. There is a wide gentle green sash, set through loops, which forms a swag look and is finished with a large bow at the front which is sleek and elegant. Tears trickling down my face as i consume the scene._ Christian has made such an effort! _

The twinkling lights of Seattle draws me to the wall to ceiling glass ceiling like usual and i walk over to stand and look out. Coldplay starts to play and from out of nowhere Christian appears and wraps his arms around me from behind and sings lightly into my ear  
_  
"Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And everything you do  
Yeah, they were all yellow  
_  
"I adore you" He stops and whispers then begins to sing once again

_"Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiul  
D'you know? You know i love you so  
You know I love you so  
_  
"I can't wait to make you my wife" He kisses my neck

_"I swan across  
I jumped across for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
Cause you were all yellow  
_  
"I swear to you i will make you proud of me by being a good father"

_"Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
D'you know? For you i bleed myself dry  
For you i bleed myself dry  
_  
"I love you"

"Oh Christian" I sob " I love you too, so so much"

He turns my body around and untucks the red tank top from my high waisted skirt and pulls it up and over my head. He runs his nose along the length of mine and unclasps my bra strap. There is a desperate urge to feel his skin underneath my fingertips so i take on the responsiblity of divesting him of his shirt, slowly undoing a button at time and making sure i graze my fingers against his abdomen. Once the offending shirt is removed, Christian unzips my skirt and begins to make his way down my body, creating a path of open-mouthed kisses between the valley of my heavy, heaving breasts and across my stomach. Once he reaches my skirt he cups my side and pushes both the skirt and lace panties down, nudging his nose into my sex. A strangled moan fires out of me as he licks the inside of my thigh. I pull him up by his strong shoulders and into a passionate kiss. My hands tangle in his hair as his enclose around my boobs. His thumb stroking rythmically over my erect nipples.

"Make love to me Christian" I beg against his lips.

Without any effort at all i am lifted into the arms of my man and backed up onto the window. By balancing my naked body on the glass and his chilsed chest, Christian manages to wiggle out of his pants and expose his throbbing cock. He glides that magnificent beast smoothly inside of me until he reaches my hilt. We pause and i look deep into his eyes, the love that relects back burns into my soul. There is nothing in this world that comes close to the connection Christian and i share and now our life together is truly begining. With excruiticating slowness he pulls out of me to the tip then back in at the same speed. I can feel every ridge, every inch. I am consumed by our hot, sweaty bodies and our erotic pants as i slide up and down the glass. The whole of Seattle could be watching us right now but i couldn't care less. I wrap both of my arms around his shoulders and tug on his hair to access his lips. Our kiss is as slow as our love making. I worship his mouth, taking the time to explore and caress every part of it. His fingers tighten on my ass in pleasure as my hands travel from his hair to his back, feeling the muscles flex as he moves inside me with ease. With our foreheads touching Christian increases his speed and my heels push into his delicious derriere forcing him to enter me deeper. The tremblings of my orgasm spasm around Christian's shaft resulting in his own, the sensation of his release jerking into me prolongs my euphoria.

"Wow" I pant

"You approve Mrs Grey?"

"I certainly do Mr Grey but i will be expecting this treatment every night" I raise a challenging eyebrow

"Deal" He kisses my sweaty brow

"Out of curosity why have you started calling me Mrs Grey? We aren't married yet"

"In my mind we already are."

I smile at his sweetness "We really should set a date"

"How about next month?"

"A spring wedding? That's a good idea, hopefully i won't be showing too much by then and i can wear a normal dress"

"Baby, you will look stunning whatever you wear" He scoffs "Do you want me to organise a wedding planner or would you like to do this yourself?."

"Umm a planner. All that stress isn't good for the baby"

"I will make a few calls in the morning"

" I love that we have planned all of this while you are still inside me. It's very...us" I smirk and wiggle my hips. Christian Jr instantly arise once more

"Round 2?" He asks with a face splitting grin

"Oh yes! And this time i want you to fuck me senseless"

* * *

Two weeks later we are back waiting to be seen by Dr Green. Christian is fidgeting beside me. The good doctor didn't reveal much in her very brief phone call, only that Christian and I needed to make an appointment as soon as possible. That is never good news. I swear my heart is beating at a million miles an hour and i am trying desperately to distract myself by studying the posters dotted around the waiting room. There are those warning about the side effects of smoking, the importance of checking your breasts for lumps, cures for the common cold and helplines for those suffering from addiction but the one poster that stands out is of a woman holding her infant child. She is cradling the baby girl to her chest and placing a gentle kiss on her tiny forehead. The notice is stressing the importance of breast feeding and the benefits to your child. It was always my plan to attempt to breast feed, i know it is not always possible as sometimes the baby doesn't latch on or simply the breast is just too sore but i need to try because i want to feel as close as i can to my baby. My boobs will no longer will be the plaything of my husband but a lifeline for my child. I turn to said man and see the anxiousness in his posture. He is erractically shaking his grey slack covered leg, his hands are clasped together in a pray-like gesture and for a brief moment he closes his eyes and tries to steady his breathing. We both know whatever news Dr Green divulges it could be life changing. If anything is wrong with the baby and it is a result of the shooting i will personally go down to the prison and kill Elena and Jack with my bare hands. In an effort to calm Christian, and myself, down, i place my hand on his arm and gently squeeze. Grey eyes turn and lock onto mine; i see the worry and apprehension glowing and all i want to do is tell him everything will be okay but i know deep down that its not.

"Miss Steele?" The woman behind the desk calls my name to alert us that our time has come. Taking a deep breath, i stand and pull Christian with me. We enter Dr Green's room and close the door behind us.

"Ahh Ana, Christian. Take a seat" We dutiful sit down in front of her desk and join our hands together tightly

"I'm not going to draw this out any longer. During your altrasound i detected some potential abnormalities that concerned me, these could cause some difficulties with your pregnancy and is why i requested the blood and urine tests ."

"What kind of difficulties?" Christian asks gruffly. My throat seems to have seized up

"At this point i am unsure but there is a chance your baby could be born with a birth defect, possibly Down Syndrome. This is a condition which occurs when extra genetic material causes delays in the way a child develops within the womb and can effect them both mentally and physically. At conception a fetus should normally inherit 46 chromosomes, 23 from the mother and 23 from the father but this doesn't always happen. An extra chromosome is gained causing the delays."

"How can we find out for certain" Christian asks, the CEO in him kicking in

"There are two prenatal tests available: a screening test or a diagnostic test. Screening tests are the cheaper option because they don't provide a definate answer, they only estimate the likehood of DS. The diagnostic tests are 99% accurate but carry a high risk because it involves invasive techniques performed inside the uterus which can cause miscarriage. I must stress that this is only based upon my opinion and you are welcome to seek out another professional for their opinion. It may be nothing and just a scare but it is better to be safe then sorry."

I am in absolute shock. My baby could be born with a disability.

"Ana?" Dr Green enquires softly, no doubt worried by my frozen reaction "Are you okay? Would you like me to go over anything else"

I shake my head

"It's best if you two go away and digest this news. Discuss what test you would like to proceed with and call me to arrange a suitable time for it to take place. Here are some pamplets filled with additional information, read these over and don't hesitate to get in touch if anything is bothering you "

We stand and shake the doctor's hand and leave the clinic. By this point i am just working on auto-pilot, putting one step in front of the other. My head swimming with so many thoughts. Somehow Christian has made sure i am safety guided into the back of the car before rounding the vehicle and coming to sit beside me. The drive home is silent, Christian is suppose to return to work however that is no longer an option. As the world zooms past i am trapped in my thoughts.

* * *

"Christian. Please just leave me alone" I whisper and rush off to the nearest bedroom making sure i close the door behind me. Escaping to our room is not an option at the moment, times like these i wish i had my own santuary somewhere which only belongs to me. My efforts to temporally hide from Christian are unsuccessful. obviously as this is Christian Grey and taking instruction is not something the man does well. I barely have a second to breathe before he comes marching in. I know he is confused by the situation but quite frankly so am i and i really need is some space.

"Ana please. Please don't shut me out. Talk to me baby"

I get up to put some much need distances between us and head for the IPod dock on the drawers "Just for once can you please accept my wishes and give me some time." I shout at him without turning around "Christian i am begging you"

"Okay but please don't hide from me" He pleads. It is not just him i am hiding from right now, it is the whole world.

Following his rejected frame to the door I close it behind him, sinking down to the floor. Burying my head in my hands as the dam breaks and Niagara Falls escapes from my tear ducks as the song i selected plays

_God knows what is hiding in that weak and drunken heart_

_I guess you kissed the girls and made them cry_

_Those hard-faced Queens of misadventure_

_God knows what is hiding in those weak and sunken eyes_

_A fiery throng of muted angels_

_Giving love and getting nothing back_

It is such a shock to the system. I shouldn't have excited myself so much. Never in my life have I pondered my existence, not even after all the Elena shit but now i can't think of anything else. Being a mother was always something i assumed i would become when i was in my early thirties and happily married with a stable home life but something has changed. This baby would is the product of the greatest love i have ever and will ever experience. Christian and i have fought off all the odds, the barriers people have constructed in our path we have tore through.

_People help the people  
And if your homesick, give me your hand and i'll hold it  
People help the people  
And nothing will drag you down  
Oh and if I had a brain, Oh and if I had a brain  
I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool  
That turned, all those good hearts away_

Is it my fault? Did i cause this? I thought i was doing everything by the book but maybe the excitment of it all has had a bigger effect then i realise. I know that the doctor said this happens at time of conception but i can't help the guilt. Carrying a foetus and experiencing that feeling of my child growing inside me is the one thing that has excited me the most and although that won't change i will be constantly fretting about the health of my child.

I have been making sure i eat the right foods, avoiding alcohol and people who smoke at all costs. Although it is only early days every day i wake up in the morning and expect my stomach to expand. Many women do complain when they no longer fit into their clothes and have to introduce a maternity closet but i cannot wait for that. In my dreams i imagine quickly grabbing whoever is beside side me so they can feel my little baby kick. Will my baby still do that? I want to give birth and witness a new life being brought into this world, my child with the man i love. My baby being cradled in Christian's strong arms as he looks down adoringly at the life he helped to create. This pregnacy has taken over my life and i wouldn't have it any other way. This is when i realise that it doesn't matter if my child is not like a normal baby, it is my baby. We will love and cherish them.

With or without a disability, I can't wait to watch as Christian attempts to teach them about business and i can introduce them to the world of literature. My child would want for nothing with a father like Christian and as much as the prospect of being a father scares the living daylights out of him i know as soon as he holds the bundle of joy in those strong arms he will fall head over heels in love, maybe more than he does for me and that's okay because its suppose to happen like that. We can buy a big house, the first symbol of the commitment we have made to each other. It would have a big backyard where the little boy and girl can explore. Huge family gatherings will be held there. The picture perfect life. This child has the potential to save my soul and that won't be snatched away from me.

_God knows what is hiding, in this world of little consequence  
Behind the tears, inside the lies  
A thousand slowly dying sunsets  
God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts  
I guess the loneliness came knocking  
No one needs to be alone, oh save me_

My life i will dedicate to caring for them. I don't care if i have to give up my job and become a full time carer. Of course it will be an adjustment but with a family like the Grey's we will pull through.

_People help the people  
And if your homesick, give me your hand and i'll hold it  
People help the people  
And nothing will drag you down  
Oh and if I had a brain, Oh and if I had a brain  
I'd be cold as a stone and rich as the fool  
That turned, all those good hearts away_

Christian enters a short while after i sent him away. He places something at the foot of the bed then slips in behind and hugs me close to his chest.

"Are you okay" His lips brush against my bare shoulder

"Getting there. Sorry for yelling"

"Baby you don't ever have to fucking apologize to me. I know i can be overbearing at times " I turn my head and give him a _at times! try 99% of the time_ look which he ignores " Its a lot to handle isn't it?"

I nod and snuggle further into him " Are we strong enough to do this?"

"Baby if there is one thing i am certain about it is us. We have survived bitter exes, guns, knives and surgeries . We have beaten the odds at every turn and we will continue to do so. But this is different. I don't care if this baby is: black, white, green or fluorescent orange, a boy or a girl, we will love this child more than any child has been loved in this world and i will promise to fight everyday to prevent what i went through from happening. We might be scared about what the future holds i know that we will pull through.

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Christian? " He tickles my side "I thought you were freaked out by all this. What has changed?"

"You know that analogy about the duck who looks serene and composed on the surface but underneath is paddling like crazy just to stay afloat? Well that is me. But yesterday i was reminded of your faith and love for me. Your strength is all i need to feel strong. Outside the boadroom i feel like i lack in every aspect of life but somehow when i am with you i can push all that aside and trust in your judgement completely."

"I feel the same about you." I smile up at him and kiss the corner of his mouth.

"It also helps that while i was giving you your "space" i was researching DS on the internet" He retrieves the items at the end of the bed "At least we can try and be prepared if the tests come back as positive"

There are pages and pages of information, from what problems can occur during pregnancy to how to care for a person with DS; how to adapt your home to accomodate a person with DS, health issues and the obsticles they may encounter for example poor communication and social skills.

I am amazed by his commitment and right now i have never loved him more.

**A/N The songs are Coldplay "Yellow" and Birdy "People help the people" The next chapter will be an extrememly personal one and i am quite excited for you all to see it. Please tell me what you think and i will try me best to reply to you all. Thank you for reading**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N I am sorry! Real life is kicking my butt at the minute. Uni work has taken over my world, add family visiting and being ill on top of that and unfortunately writing gets pushed to the bottom of the pile. Even now that i am on holiday for 2 weeks i still have so much work to do but i will try and see if i can squeeze in a few more updates.**

**For those wondering about my other story "Rescue us" that is next on the agenda. **

**Thanks again for your patience.**

* * *

Blinking awake i am instantly aware of Christian's steady breathing fanning across my bare shoulder. It is the same every morning and now has become a weird source of comfort. The early morning sunrise streams through the balcony doors and bathes the room in a warm glow. _Finally a pleasant spring day in Seattle_! I untangle my fingers from the protective grasp Christian has on them against my stomach, an act which bring a smile upon my face, and shift onto my back to look at the fine figure beside me. I treasure these moments as they are few and far between. Recent events must have really taken it's toll on him as it is very rare that i awake before Christian. If just to cement the point further he is lightly snoring, material stored away in the back of my mind for future mocking purposes.

Christian's long eyelashes brush against his sun kissed skin as his eyes twitch in slumber. Those plump pouty lips are open just a touch, enough for me to latch onto and worship but i quickly push that idea aside, that would wake him and put an end to my secret inspection. My eyes travel down from his face to his chest. Those tiny white circles just adding to his perfection. Without those scars Christian wouldn't be the person he is today and although i wish he hadn't had to endure the pain i thank god that he is strong enough to pull through and make something of his life and is still able to love the way he does. He has become so incredibly generous and quietly compassionate which will only grow stronger when our child arrives. Lastly my gaze falls upon the bottom half of his body where unsurpisingly there is the familar sight of his morning glory standing tall and proud underneath the thing white sheet. In all the time i have known Christian and have woken up in his bed he has always had an erection, Every morning. Without fail. What more could a girl ask for?

I stretch my arms and legs quietly as not to disturb Christian, trying to rid the stiffness of sleep . The light bounces off my engagement ring. The diamonds sparkle and gleam in the early morning sunlight. In some ways this ring is ridiculous. My fingers are fairly slim and dainty so having a huge rock around them can sometimes be an effort but 99% of the time i only admire it. I hadn't notice until a few days after Christian's poposal that there is a enscription on the inside of the band. It reads:

_In my heart forever and always _

For a man who claims to be troubled and damaged he sure has a romantic and caring streak. My eyes flick between the twinkling ring, my still flat stomach and the man dozing beside me. This is my future all wrapped up in one. Mixed emotions surge through me: Happiness, fear for my unborn child and the dangers that lie ahead, apprehension, what if i am a terrible mother? A bad wife? What if i can't handle everything?

"Stop thinking so much. It is disturbing me!" A voice laced with sleep breaks through my thoughts

"Sorry" I apologize

"Don't be. What's going on in that beautiful head baby? He nuzzles into my neck and i curl my arms around his head and start to play with his hair

"Oh the usual stresses. "

"Hey stop that! Let me handle all the worry"

"Okaaaay Christian" I reply sarcastically and roll my eyes. Seriously like its just something i can just turn off. He rubs his eyes and reaches for his phone on the bedside table.

"I have just recieved an email from that charity we got in touch with the other day. They have arranged for us to visit a family" Since the doctor appointment we have both done our fair share research and even got in touch with a local charity for some more information. I go in for the tests in a few days so we wanted to be prepared before.

"Oh yeah that sounds like a good idea. Whereabouts?"

"I don't know, they said they would send me the details later."

"It will be good for us"

"Yeah it will give us an insight"

"I love how you committed you are to this baby. You had me scared for a while there"

"I am so sorry for that Ana. During those few days we weren't talking i did a lot of soul searching. I even went to speak with my dad"

"You did" I am shocked. He never told me he went to see Carrick

"Yeah. He told me about being a father and how it was his greatest achievement. We have had a rocky relationship over the years and that is mainly down to my awful behaviour as a teenager but he has really been there for me through thick and thin. I owe him alot baby..." He pauses, contemplating his own words

"He is a great man"

"He sure and if i am half as good as he is as a father, our child will be fine"

Christian you are going to be just as good as Carrick. I have said it before and i have a feeling i will be saying it for the next nine months, i have total faith in you baby"

* * *

Taylor parks up outside a charmingly large family home. The front lawn is well maintained and is encased with an abundance of flowers of all varieties. A rainbow of colours decorate the garden and infuse it with such life. There is a long driveway which stretches right up to the front door. There are hanging baskets with yet more brightly coloured plants dangling around the arch of the entrance. Christian helps me out from the car and we walk hand in hand up to the door. Christian rings the loudest doorbell i have ever come across and its impossible for me to hold back the giggle bubbling inside of me when i glance up and witness Christian's grimace.

"Why does it have to be so fucking loud?" Christian complains and i smack him on the arm

"Shhh Christian! Keep your voice down. Remember they are an elderly couple" I chastise

"Yeah well couldn't they get better hearing aids or something instead of making their visitors deaf?"

I glare at him. His attuide sometimes amazes and shocks me. I understand that he comes from a very different world to most but i know for a fact that Grace and Carrick taught him good manners. Somewhere along the line, probably between Elena and his unpreciedented success, he seems to have lost them and his sense of the real world. This is an issue i will need to address later. He may have his way of approaching a situation and i will never try to change that but a little bit of tack he will find will go along way. It takes some considerable time but finally the door clicks and opens to reveal a small, silver haired elderly woman standing in the threshold. The petite lady is dressed in long baby pink skirt and a plain tshirt under a lace white sweater.

"Hello. How can i help you?" She asks in a smooth English accent

"Hello my name is Christian Grey and this is my fiancee Anastasia" Christian holds out his hand and the lady gracefully accepts.

"Oh yes. You contacted the charity our Leslie is involved with to arrange a meeting"

"Yes ma'am" I reply

"Well come on in. My name is Lily. Welcome to our home"

"It's very nice to meet you Lily" I say as we step into this beautiful entrance hall is modest but delightful with 4 rooms and a staircases leading off of it. There are small trinkets which have been collected over many years dotted around on the walls and shelves. A table sits in the corner with a plant and an array of vintage hairbrushes and combs, a gorgeous silver 1930's mirror hangs above it.

"May i take your coats" Lily asks and we gladly rid our outdoor wear as the heat in here is on full blast. She takes our coats into one of the rooms off to the right. My eyes aren't sure where to look next, there is so much to take in. A door right next to me opens out into a stunning downstairs bathroom. I peek inside and see a gorgeous oval bath at the far end with steps leading up to it; there is a long vanity unit with an overhead light, it is stocked full of products and a luxury walk in shower. Back into the hall and on the opposite side is a bedroom. It is exactly what i expect a woman of Lily's age, 92, to look like. It is classic and elegnat with timeless decor. It feels like we have been transported back in time to the 40's. Although the room isn't particluarly large and is predominantly filled with the king size bed she has still managed to fit in a vintage dressing table and a closet.

Christian leads me through some double doors and into a lounge/dining room. The space is enormous. Similar to the size of the Great Room back at Escala. To the left is a seating area. An old man, around the same age as Lily i am guessing, is sitting in a recliner chair watching the widescreen flat tv which like the doorbell is at an extremely high volume. The man doesn't look as able as Lily. Speaking of the elderly woman she is darting around us which such effortless ease i am astonished. I am already aware of how extraordinary this woman is and i have only been in her presence for 5 minutes. She picks up the television remote from the glass coffee table in the center of the room and reduces the volume to a more pleasing level

"Bert we have visitors" She informs her husband who slowly turns his head and nods an hello in our direction and adds a small wave. His hand shakes erractically

"Parkinson's disease" Lily tells us when she sees our reaction "And that is just the start of Bert's ailments" she jokes and places her steady hand in his and squeezes affectionately. This small act of love and dedication nearly reduces me to a sob.

"How long have you two been married if you don't mind me asking?" I ask quietly trying to suppress the emotions swirling around inside. _Damn hormones!_

"72 years" Bert answers without missing a beat. The man is still clearly as enamoured with his wife as he was when they first met all those years ago. Christian's eyes stare down at me with the same expression and my heart skips a beat. I really do hope we are still in love like that when we reach our nineties. He leans down and lightly pecks my lips with a gentle kiss before turning his attention back to the old couple.

"Would you like a drink? Tea? Coffee? Lily offers

" I would love some tea please" I answer

"Coffee for me please" Christian and Bert reply in unison. Lily and i share a knowning smirk

"Anastasia dear could you help me in the kitchen?"

"Of course"

Lily skittles off and i follow hot on her heels, eager to spend time with her and soak up all the wisdom she has to impart. I am like a sponge around this lady. On my way to the kitchen i pass by a family sized dining table. It expands the length of the dining room and could easily seat 8 to 10 people. Of course there is another beautiful arrangement of flowers in the center in a intricately patterned vase. This is what i picture when i invisage my future family gatherings. Don't get me wrong the Grey's do those occasions brilliantly but is it all very grand for my taste and something i am not attuned to coming from a remarkably small family. This however is intimate and cosy. It is humble enough to allow conversation to ebb and flow easily without shouting; although i am sure a lot of that goes on, it usually does when family members are involved. This is where everybody gathers on the holidays to celebrate and bond and personally i cannot wait to start creating those memories in my own home.

I find Lily in the spacious, modern, black and white kitchen which looks out on to an extremely large and long backyard. I am drawn to the window much like i am at Christian's

"That was Bert's pride and joy when he retired" Lily sighs as she comes to stand beside me "That man would get up in the morning, have his breakfast then disapear into the garden. I wouldn't see him for the rest of the day" She chuckles "It was his whole life but then his health detiriated. His hips gave way and he had to have several operations to fix them, we found out a few years back that he had bladder cancer which really has debiltated him, not to mention the Parkinson's disease and to top it all off his eyesight isn't the best. All of this combined forced Bert to forget about the garden he loved so much. My grandson Darren takes care of it all now, the bare minimum of course. It is just too large to keep it to the standard it once was. Plus they all have their own busy lives, they don't have the time to dedicate to it. Unfortunately now Bert is bound to that chair, we don't even sleep in the same bed anymore because he can't get up and down. He just pushes a button and the chair effectively tips him off."

"That must be hard for you?"

"It is difficult to watch the person you have loved your whole life struggle but we are getting very old now love and we just get on with it. You have to don't you?" She shrugs and continues preparing our drinks the old fashioned way. With china tea cups with saucers and a kettle stewing away on the stove. The image makes me smile.

"You have an exquisite home"

"Thank you dear. We have lived here for over 30 years now. My son Geoffrey relocated his whole family from London when his children were small and built his own house just a few miles away from here. They loved it so much and the rest of my children had moved so far away from us so we decided to follow suit. It's been a blessing to watch our grandchildren and great grandchildren grow up and fall in love with this house as much as we have. It has been perfect for Leslie too."

"Leslie is your son with Down Syndrome?" I ask

"Yes" Lily glows with pride and love when she discusses her son "I can honestly say if it was for my beautiful boy i think we would have given up a long time ago. He keeps us going in every sense of the word. Of course he can be challenging at times but i love him more and more every day and he is such a good boy. He is at Group this morning. He should be home any minute actually."

"Group?"

"It's a place he attends three times a week. People with all kinds of disabilties go although it is mainly those with Down Syndrome. They play games, partake in various activities like painting, music lessons and different outings to attractions. That kind of thing. He absolutely loves it. He always comes home with a big smile on his face"

She places our cups on to a tray and i carry them through to the men. They are sitting discussing sports. Christian has shed his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt. His face is alight with the kind of joy that only appears when men are having a heated discussion about sports, in this case soccer. I didn't know Christian was so knowledgeable on the topic but then again this is Christian Grey. I take my place beside him, looping my arm around his and lacing our fingers together. He begins to play with my engagement ring like usual as i slowly sip on my tea trying to be as ladylike as possible. There is nothing quite like tea made by an English person and as a avid tea drinker i think i can make a statement as strong as that. This is easily the best cup i have ever had. Fact

"So i must congratulate you Anastasia on your pregnancy" Lily kindly smiles at me

"Thank you. We are very excited" Christian wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me into his side

"Children can be both a blessing and curse" Bert chips in with a twinkle in his eye. The old man may be suffering from a number of health issues but the cheeky chap inside is still shining bright.

"How many children do you have?" Christian enquires

"Four. Geoffrey, Barbara, Linda and Leslie. And many many grandchildren and great grandchildren"

"Yeah and they blooming bleed you dry i tell ya" Bert chuckles

"That is only because you insist on giving them money whenever you see them!"

"Well what is an old bugger like me going to do with all that money Lil? And i only get complaints from all you grumpy sods when i give them sweets" He indicated to the tray of candy on the table beside him. Lily rolls her eyes at her husband but the corners of her mouth are upturned in a small smile

"What did you do before you retired Bert?" Christian asks his new found pal

"I was train driver son like many generations before me. Steam trains to be specific. Yeah i drove them around London and the surrounding areas during the Blitz"

"Wow" I gasp in amazement "That must have been quite the experience?"

"Sure was! It did certainly test your skills and training. I was responsible for protecting hundreds of lives or for the important cargo i was carrying onboard. Honestly i was petrifed at times but you just got on with it" Bert repeats the exact words his wife only told me a few minutes ago " I had to support my Lil and earn a living. Granted wasn't much in those days but we got by didn't we duck?"

I smile at his term of endearment although i hope Christian comes up with a better one for me. I love it when he calls me "baby", it makes me feel truly his.

"We did sweetheart" Lily replies and Bert gives her a wink. The moment is interrupted by the front door closing shut and a man comes shuffling in

"Mum. Dad" He shouts. Lily pushes herself up off the couch and approaches her son with open arms and a wide grin

"Hello darling" She envelops her son in a tight hug and kisses his cheeks "How was group?"

"Good mom." Leslie then goes on to tell her about his day but i struggle to decipher all of it. His speech is very undeveloped but Lily seems to understand every word. Lily removes the backpack from her son and helps him with his coat. Leslie then heads over to his father and the two embrace in such a heart melting fashion. They seem to be having a silently conversation but Bert's eyes are glowing with unconditional love. Christian is watching the exchanged very closely. After a while they speak

"Hello son"

"Hiya dad."

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah very good. Me, me, me , me and David played pool"

"Did you win?" Bert asks

"Yep!" Leslie exclaims.

"He wins everyday apparently. Leslie never loses or so he says" Bert winks at us making me giggle and Christian laugh quietly.

"Leslie, this is Christian and Anastasia" Lily introduces us. He smiles at us and shakes Christian hand

"Nice to meet you"

"Its nice to meet you too Leslie" Christian surpises me by pulling him into a hug. I think i actually gape at him. Leslie also embraces me and takes his place in "his chair" by the window

"So how old are you Leslie"

"51" He answers with no hesitation. Over the past few days both Christian and i have done our fair share of research and the life expectancy of those with Down Syndrome has dramatically increased, many live well into their forties, fifties and sixties depending on how severe the syndrome is. This man has clearly had a wonderful and fulfilled life.

* * *

We spend the rest of the afternoon with Leslie. He shows us everything from his bedroom to the photographs of his big 50th birthday party. Lily told us Leslie had been planning that party for years, even going as far has ordering his sister Barbara to make a four tiered cake and a expecting bus to travel around to all his relatives and bring them here. Christian especially bonded with Leslie. By the end of the day the two had become inseperable and on many occasions my eyes filled with tears just watching them interact. The rest of their immediate family arrived before we departed and they all displayed that same amount of love towards Leslie. That boy was cherised by everyone he came into contact with and for good reason. I have never met such a kind, loving person. He helps take care of his elderly parents just as much as they do caring for him and the strength of those three remarkable people will stay with me forever.

* * *

After such a long day Christian and i are curled up in front of a blazing fire with a bottle of red wine, listening to "Spem in Alium" by Peter Phillips, a classical piece chosen by Christian.

"I really enjoyed meeting Leslie" Christian says as he runs his hand up my leg

"Me too. You were incredible with him Christian" I cup his cheek and stroke my thumb over his evening stubble "It also helped me with a few of the questions that have been bugging me"

"Oh yeah? Care to inform me? You know you are not always that forthcoming on the topic"

"I know and i am sorry baby. I suppose i am having a hard time sorting out my thoughts and feeling and communicating it all to you. I just have all these worries any first time mother has but with added stress of DS. I am scared that my child won't be accept by society, that i will find it too difficult to watch them struggle, the possibilty that you will one day finally have enough of it all and leave me and i will have to do it all by myself. What if the birth doesn't run smoothly? What if you are away at the time i go into labour? All of these what if's and i am slowly becoming overwhelmed by it all..." I ramble on and on before Christian silences me with a heart stopping kiss

"What did i tell you about worrying?" He murmurs against my lips

"Its not that simple" I argue

"I know trust me and i understand all of these worries because i have them too but baby if there is one thing i am completely sure of its that you will be a fantasic mother and i will never ever leave you. Ever. Its not an option now and it will not be an option then. Just being apart from you the few hours when we both go to work nearly gives me heart palpations and my anxiety goes through the roof. I know i handled the news of the baby terribly and i will never forgive myself for that. I will spend the rest of our days making it up to you."

"Christian stop beating yourself up about it. You are here now with me, by my side and showing me every second of every day what an amazing father you are going to be and i can't wait to be your wife"

" Yeah about that."

"What?" My heart starts to race. Has he had second thoughts?

"Well i was thinking..."

I really start to panic. Why does he always have to prolong things "Christian what? You are scaring me"

"I think we should bring the wedding forward" He announces

"Really?" The wedding was planned for the end of next month.

"I can't fucking wait anymore baby. Its driving me crazy"

"Its the same for me Christian but a wedding is a big event. It takes a long time to organise!"

"I don't give a fuck. I have hired planner who can get it sorted in two weeks"

"Two weeks!?" I squeek.

"Yes. That is long enough, too long in my opinion. I would be happy to drag that fantasic ass of yours down to the courthouse right now and make you my wife but my mother would kill me, so would yours for that matter. And unfortunately i have a number of associates that need to be in attendance." He grumbles

"You are serious?"

"Deadly."

"Okay. Two weeks" My mind is in overdrive. I need to call my mom and see if she can fly in on such short notice. I need to pick out my wedding dress and figure who i want to be my maid of honor. Mia would be the obvious choice but my heart is screaming at me to pick Kate. I just don't know if i a truly ready for that yet. I thought i had more time to contemplate it.

"I can practically here the clogs turning in that brain Ana. It will all work out baby. By the end the month you will be Mrs Grey and sunning yourself on a beach on our honeymoon"

"How long have you been planning to spring this on me?"

"A few days. I am an impatient man Miss Steele. You should know this by now"

"Oh i do. Well now the time frame has been shortened i suppose we should cram in as much of that sinful out -of -wedlock sex as we can" I bite my bottom lip as he growls and lifts me over his shoulder and marches into the playroom

"Into the position Miss Steele. I think a little spanking is in order"

**A/N Okay so as previously mentioned this chapter is an extremely personal one. Lily and Bert are my very own great grandparents and Leslie is my second uncle. As you can tell i idolise my Great Nana she is the most courageous, kind and inspiring woman. At 92 years old she still takes care of the two men, she does everything for them and i mean everything. She has survived two heartattacks and other serious illness'. My great grandad is very ill and continues to get worse but somehow is still the grandad i remember when i was a small kid. And as for Leslie well he is just a little darling and i love him to pieces. Because of him i have learnt a lot about disability and met some of the kindest indiviuals on this planet. It saddens me when i see the prejudice those with a disability recieve, it is small minded and disgusting.**

**Next chapter will see the results of the tests...**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N I know I said that I was going to do a chapter on the test results but I have decided to go off the beaten track and address an issue some people have asked about.**

* * *

**Kate's POV**

"Katherine you really must make sure you eat properly. You are not a child any more and I really don't want to have to fly out to Seattle to ensure you are taking care of yourself and the baby. Your father and I are desperately worried about you sweetie"

My mother continues to ramble on but I stopped listening a while ago. It is the same every week. My parents are currently in Tennessee on their second vacation of the year but are due to stay with me nearer my due date to help out. I am in two minds about it if I am being honest. On the one hand the thought of my overbearing mother flapping around me 24/7 fills me with dread but then on the other hand I am lonely and could really use the company. Since Ana rightly moved out I have become somewhat of a recluse. I only leave this apartment for doctor appointments and to quickly pop down to the grocery store to pick up some essentials. A far cry from my previous life. That fun, outgoing party girl is well and truly dead and buried, never to be resurrected and I am relieved. That girl caused too much heartbreak and was so self involved.

"Mother for the last time I am fine. Stop treating me like a five year old child."

"Hey lose the attitude young lady"

"Sorry mom. I am just a little stressed out at the moment; I am getting bigger by the day, I can no longer see my feet, my boobs are unreal and my back is killing me. I swear I am carrying a two ton baby!"

"Stress isn't good for the baby sweetie"

Here we go again " I know mom. Look I have to go. I have a doctor's appointment in an hour"

"Okay sweetheart, call me if you need me."

"I will Mom. I love you"

"I love you too darling. Oh and Katherine have you spoken to Ana recently?"

She asks the same question at the end of every phone call. After I fell pregnant my parents wanted to know everything and that included telling them about my affair with Elliot If the look on Ana's face wasn't painful enough my mother's reaction was off the chart. She has never screamed at me like that before and at one point I thought she may even hit me, not that I would blame her. Ana and my mother have always been close, they have a special connection and I know my mom looks to Ana as another daughter. I would be lying if I said I was never jealous of their relationship because at times I was. Ana is so different to me in almost every way, I have always had a privileged upbringing; my father owns and runs a successful business which has gifted us a wonderful life, we practically got everything we moaned for and my parents have a strong marriage. Ana didn't have that. Her parent divorced when she was younger and she spent her childhood being passed between them and their respective partners at the time. There were points where their relationship was so strained especially with her mother and she reached out to mine for support and comfort. The three of us would go shopping, out for dinner or drinks or simply slob around the apartment watching Romantic Comedies and devouring a bucket load of Ben and Jerry's and a case of wine. Those are the times I miss the most. When I didn't have to give two shits about my appearance or watch what nonsense was spewing out of my mouth because she just accepted me and my family for who we were.

"No Mom not recently"

"Call her baby. You might just be surprised"

"I will think about it"

"Please do. Show her that you are willing to salvage your friendship. Remember she came to you and forgave you. That has to mean something. I will let you go. Think about what I said. And eat healthy. No grand baby of mine will be malnourished."

"Bye Mom" I hang up the phone and throw it on to the seat beside me. God help me. If I am this exhausted after just a phone call living with her is going to be nightmare. I decided to jump in the shower and at least make myself look presentable for my appointment. It is a check up to see if the baby is growing okay and if I am gaining enough weight that sort of thing. If there is one thing I miss it is a nice steaming hot shower. The heat prickling my cold skin is a sensation I desperately need to feel but I am stuck with the lukewarm temperature It makes having a shower a very speedy activity. When Ana lived here she was always on my case about taking too long in the bathroom, it was not unusual for me to go all out; aromatic candles, bubble bath which spilled over the side of the tub, soothing music gently playing in the background. By the time I got out I would resemble a prune and come face to face with a very agitated room-mate I smile at the memory of her face, even angry she is the most adorable person. Her forehead scrunches up, her eyes narrow into slits and she has a full on pout. It is hilarious. I would always kiss her on the head and run off, leaving her to stew. Her ire never lasted more than an hour and we were back to harmonious best friends.

I wrap my expanding body in a warm fluffy white towel which only just covers the important parts, it used to hit just above the knee. I carefully dry my long blonde hair and pad out of the bathroom carefully as not to slip. My bedroom is two doors down but for some reason I am drawn to the spare room at the end of the hall. Ana's old bedroom. Even though I plan to re-decorate and transform it into a nursery at the minute it is still to difficult to change. The room still smells of her perfume. Most of the furniture is here because she had to leave behind as Christian has everything she could ever need, they hired a removal company to come in and box up all her clothes, books and other pieces scattered around. I sometimes unconsciously wander in here and sit on the bed and daydream. I remember the first time I ever saw Ana. She looked like a little lost duckling walking around the enormous campus. It was the first day of freshman year and there was nervous excitement penetrating the air. College is such a huge step for a young person, they finally cut those strings their parents have on them and are let loose into the wild. That first year is mayhem; sex, alcohol and for some drugs and yet Ana wasn't interested in all of that, I could see that from the very outset. Although she dressed in a very bookish manner she still stood out in a crowd. That long chestnut glossy hair fell down her back in waves, her curves may have been covered up in those unflattering outfits she used to wear but they were still visible and envied by a very high percentage of the girls in our classes. Ana has the face of a supermodel, pale yes, nevertheless striking. What makes her even more appealing to men and women alike is her indifference to her looks. She doesn't give it much thought and honestly believes she isn't all that. Boy could she be more wrong. She caught the eye of the Grey men for a start. On many many occasions Ana would tell me how gorgeous I was and I would do the same but she never understood her appeal. She still doesn't. I was drawn to her. Ana was the complete opposite to any other friends I have acquired over the years and we quickly became inseparable. If we were ever apart for any considerable period I would start to feel like I had lost a limb, that was how close we were. That is why I have no idea how I could betray her like I did. The therapist I am seeing has a theory that I blocked out Ana in order to allow my feelings for Elliot to shine through. Dr Peyton Jones suspects I was more in love with Elliot than I let on. We differ slightly on this opinion.

The first time I was introduced to Elliot Grey was unremarkable. We were in some douchey college bar celebrating the end of our mid terms. Ana and I had been cramming for weeks and seriously needed to let loose, Jose joined us and the night was going perfectly. Shot after shot came our way and Ana finally was relaxed. That girl is uptight at the best of times but drunk she is the life and soul of the party. My feet were fidgeting under the table to the beat of the dance track blasting out the sound system and I could no longer sit back and ignore it. I grabbed an arm of Ana's and José's and dragged them into the pit of college kids in the middle of the dance floor Ana as usual was oblivious to the swarm of guys hovering around her, looking for an in. I tangled our fingers together and pulled her close, grinding and singing into her ear. This was our normal move. I was so buzzed and far gone that I didn't notice her and Elliot giving each other "the eyes" all night. Ana never puts herself out like that so the vodka must of been having an greater effect that normal. She has been with some jackasses over the years which of course makes me fiercely protective over her. Being the selfish bitch I was back then I let Ana out of my sight and focused on the guy chatting me up, James?..Jack?... Joe?... something like that. Anyway that night we headed back home and I disappeared into my room with the J-man to fuck his brains out. The next morning after I tossed the loser out I found my dozy eyed room-mate smiling away to herself on the couch. She explained all about Elliot and how much she liked him. It was so nice to see her finally happy. They dated for a while and everything was good. Elliot and I were friendly; polite smiles in the morning, conversations at dinner that kind of thing. Then things changed. Ana was crying all of the time. Whenever Elliot was round the night would end the same; an initial disagreement, a screaming match between the two, Elliot would storm out only to return a few hours later when the two would kiss and make up by having loud hard sex. Ana became weary and emotional constantly and it was difficult to watch. They just were not compatible but that didn't give me the right to do what I did. I know that.

The night Ana flew to Georgia, I was moping around the apartment. We had planned a special girls weekend ( including Jose) to Cabo in Mexico. This had been in the calendar for months but of course Carla's health came before our trip, that wasn't the reason why I was so down. The guy I had been seeing at the time was blowing me off. Andrew wasn't my usual type. He was a musician. The lead singer of " The sexy bastards" to be exact, I know classy name! He was your stereotypical, skinny jean wearing, emo haircut, ego obsessed arrogant prick who I suspected had a mild cocaine addiction but regardless he was a beast in the sack. Since Ana was away for a few days I was hoping for a marathon sex session with Andrew but he would not accept any of my calls or texts. A sexually frustrated Kate is not someone you want to be around. I was the end of my tether when Elliot appeared looking for Ana. I wasn't interested at first in entertaining him but after he suggested we do a few shots I soon became a little friendlier. The night wore on and he began to spill all his secrets, not that there were too many illicit ones, it was mainly his fears about how his relationship was dwindling. I felt sorry for both of them, this was destroying them. More and more alcohol was consumed and the next thing I know I was straddling him on the couch. I got my sex session and a whole lot more. After that night I refused to see him and would not allowed myself to be in the same room for a few weeks yet I couldn't stay away. I needed him. My every thought was about him. I was acting like a crazy person just to be near him. I was a slut. A slut in love.

The day Ana caught us was the worst day of my life. By that point I had managed to categorize all the lies in my head. I had become a pro at sneaking about and acting normal in front of my room-mate When Ana told me Elliot was taking her home for the holidays it felt like she had punched me in the gut, I wanted to be the girl he took home to meet his parents. I decided then to join my family and try my hardest to forget all about Elliot Grey. Distance would cure this addiction I had right? Wrong. I jumped at the first chance that presented itself, my mother grating on my last nerve, and came back to Seattle. I know I shouldn't have accepted Ana's invitation to join the Grey's but I had no sense of morality atthat point and when Elliot cornered me I was gone. He has that effect on me, one look and I am disarmed. It was so incredibly stupid to have sex in his bedroom, if Ana wasn't the one who walked in it would have been somebody else. She had a fucking panic attack. I caused the person I loved to have a severe panic attack...

Realising that I am running out of time, I waddle into my bedroom and throw on the first items of clothing that come into view. This happens to be a pair of maternity jeans and a baggy grey tank top. I quickly blow dry my hair and stick it up into a high ponytail. Rummaging throw my cluttered vanity dresser I come across a bottle of foundation and quickly apply some along with a touch of mascara. Walking back into the kitchen I grab my cell and call a cab; driving is no longer an option for me with this huge bump. Just as I am about to catch the lift downstairs to wait outside the doorbell goes. I open the door to find a downtrodden Elliot looking at the floor. This is the first time I have seen him since Christmas. After Ana found us, I cut off all contact; dodged his calls, refused to see him, even thinking about going as far as moving away. It has only been in the past few weeks that have spoken to him about the baby.

"Elliot?" I ask quietly, unsure of his current state.

"Can I come in?" He murmurs

"Um not really I am on my way out"

"Oh okay"

"What did you want?" I ask fearfully

"I think it is about time we talked"

I ponder this for a second then decide to hear him out "Yeah it is, I have 10 minutes"

I let him walk past me and close my eyes at his lingering scent, I have really missed that. I close the door and stand with my back to it, needing something solid for support. He finally looks at me and my heart leaps. He is staring at my growing bump with a smile gracing his handsome face

"Wow. You look huge"

"Thanks" I scoff

"I didn't mean it like that Kate!" Elliot sighs

" Can we just skip all the small talk Elliot, I have places to be"

"Right sorry. Sure you don't want to sit down?"

"Actually I might" My back is so sore. I carefully lower myself down in to the chair and look up at Elliot expectantly

"Kate. I really don't know where to start"

"At the beginning usually helps" I have no idea where this spunk is coming from but I have kinda missed it.

Elliot laughs. It seems like this is the first time he has in a while "Oh you are still that same old Kate"

I am immediately on the defensive "No I am not! I have changed Elliot. I will never allow myself to be that vindictive hurtful person again"

"Hey calm down I didn't mean it like that. I meant your feistiness, even Ana wouldn't want you to be a different person Kate. Look I didn't come here to fight I came to apologize. We did a bad thing Kate and I can't quite forgive myself for it; Ana has but I can't. At the time she was the first person I really felt something for and saw a future with but then we started to become close and I got so confused. I don't think there is another person on this planet who is like you Katherine Kavanagh. Your beauty is just the start of your appeal. I am the one who came in between the two of you and ruined your friendship and for that I am so sorry. Please believe me when I say I was in love with both of you, probably still am but as a result of my selfishness and immaturity I lost it all. I don't want to lose this baby too. I know I have a lot of growing up to do and holding grudges and feeling damn right sorry for myself isn't helping anybody least of all you. I understand if you don't want me to have any contact with our child and I will respect your decision but please give me a chance." He takes me hands and begs. The speech seems a little rehearsed but I don't care right now

He release a large breath and I wipe away the tears. In my dreams this is what I have envisaged. For the man I love to step up and be a man. A father. I want nothing more than to run into his arms and start our lives together as a family but I can't bring myself to take that leap. I will however allow him to be a part of this child's life, how can you deny a father the opportunity.

"I was on my way to the doctors. Would you like to come with me?"

His smile is bright enough to illuminate the room "Absolutely!"

* * *

The doctor's appointment ran smoothly although there was some awkwardness when Elliot first walked in. It was a delight to watch his face light up when the baby kicked half way through. He paid careful attention to every word Dr Crammer said and even picked up a number of pamphlets on the way out. After all these months doing this alone it was a joy to have somebody there. We discussed it and he will make the arrangements to attend every scan, check up and he will be my birthing partner. We have even decided that next time we will find out the baby's sex. We spend the rest of the day together reacquainting as friends, we went for coffee at Starbucks and a walk through the park as it was a pleasant spring day. It was nice to hang out with him without the feeling we were doing something wrong, if we are going to co-parent things between have to be civil. He dropped me back at the apartment because my feet were aching, I thanked him for everything and lent him some parenting books that I have been reading.

At last I feel everything is beginning to work out. Happily I stroll over to the answering machine and see the red light flashing away indicating a message, I press play and Ana's shy voice echoes through

"Hey Kate its Ana, I was wondering if you are free tomorrow to get together for lunch or something... Um call me back when you get this... Bye"

Tears fill my eyes. Am I finally getting the chance to win my best friend back?

**A/N Okay I hope this chapter helps those who were wondering what the hell was going on with Kate and Elliot. **

**Next chapter is definitely the test results... I promise**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N So here we are another chapter and finally those test results I have been promising! Thanks to Heather Sweigart for becoming my Beta**

**Warning! Crazy Mia ahead!**

The strong scent of coffee fills my lungs as soon as I step foot into the coffee house. Sawyer follows close behind as I search for a free table. The shop is busy today with business men and their laptops, teenagers with their course work and moms feeding their unruly children and occupying most of the spaces. The moms in particular grab my attention for obvious mom reasons. Before I would be annoyed with them for being unable to control their offspring, a nosy interfering child is the last thing you want to deal with when you are desperately trying to cram for finals but now I see differently. Firstly, it was my fault; I should have been strong enough to ignore my body's craving for an overpriced cup of coffee and stayed stuck to my seat in the library and secondly these moms have to contend with a hell of a lot and should be commended not judged by the rest of society. It's amazing how your outlook on a situation changes in the blink of an eye. I spot a free bench over by the far wall and race to secure it. Sawyer looks mildly amused by my sudden spurt of energy but nevertheless follows my lead. Safely seated amongst all the chaos I ask Sawyer to order an iced tea and a small latte. I pull out my iPhone to send a quick text to Christian.

_Here safe and sound. Hope your day is going well honey. xxx_

We have begun to explore new nicknames for each other. Cheesy to the extreme. I am still prominently "baby" to Christian, but he has branched out into sweetheart which I am loving. I have tried them all; honey, darling, munchkin, pookie, love muffin; the last three were not favoured by Christian one bit.

_It's going... I wish I was there with you baby, I hate all this time we are spending away from each other. I feel like I am going to miss something with the baby, fancy coming to work here so that I can watch you all day? xxx_

_Honey you are not going to miss anything, this part of pregnancy is fairly boring. If you are like this now what is it going to be like when the baby is here? You will have to return to work at some point. For the thousandth time I already work for you remember? Anyway you do watch me all day, the name Sawyer ring any bells? xxx_

_Sawyer is there to protect you not to keep tabs on you Ana you know this. I could always move SIP into Grey HQ, kill two birds with one stone? Don't remind me baby, one of my biggest fears is being away and missing all the important stuff like first steps, first word. xxx_

_Christian stop stressing out, it will all fall into place okay. I am not going to tell you how to run your business but maybe moving SIP into the building isn't a bad idea... xxx_

_You serious? xxx_

_Yes? xxx_

_No fighting me on this. xxx_

_N__ope! xxx_

_God I love you! xxx_

_You should, I'm brilliant! I love you too xxx_

_Why don't you just ditch your little meeting and come and show me how much you love me? ;) xxx_

_Why Mr Grey was that a winking emoticon I just received? xxx_

_It sure was baby. Now how about that peachy ass, naked, bent over my desk and turned a glorious shade of pink? xxx_

_I hate you. Hormones and your dirty little offer has left me all hot and bothered xxx_

_Well, let me help you alleviate your troubles xxx_

_Christian I can't. This is important xxx_

_*sigh * I know. Look we will put this on hold, but when you get home young lady, your ass is mine! xxx_

_And it will be perked waiting for you xxx_

_That image is my motivation to get through this dull meeting with the German Solar Power capital. xxx_

_It is not dull Christian because you love it. Go show them who is boss then come home and show me ;P xxx_

_Love you sweetheart xxx_

_Love you too Pookie xxx_

That man sends me into a spin! The smile has not left my face during the whole conversation and I am successfully turned on. I have heard that pregnancy sex is good, but so far it has exceeded good. I can't seem to tear myself away from him and that monster cock. The poor boy has been required to satisfy my needs almost constantly and although his sex drive is high at the best of times, even Christian is tired out at the moment. I know however it is not just my highly sexed mood which is wearing him down; it is also the worry of the test results. I went into hospital a week ago for the screening test. We chose this option because of the risk of miscarriage in the diagnostic test and as I am still in my first trimester it just seemed like the safest choice. My hands were shaking throughout and at one point Christian even had to whisper calming words into my ear.

I look up and see Kate waddling through the crowds her eyes darting around trying to locate us. I wave in her direction and she smiles. Sawyer gets up to help her over and make sure she doesn't trip over the small boy who is sitting right in the middle of the floor playing with his trucks. Kate is near her due date now and is as big as a house but still looks beautiful. She has that all round pregnancy glow. It's so weird how our lives have turned out and interconnected; we are both involved with the Grey brothers and both pregnant. I stand up once she reaches me and wrap my arms around her the best I can with her bump in between us.

"You look well Kate" I tell her. I return to my seat as Sawyer pulls out a chair for Kate opposite.

"Thank you. I just want her out now."

"Her?"

"I am having a girl" She gushes. I called Kate after my test last week. With Christian springing the wedding on me it has given me the opportunity to really evaluate my relationship with Kate. I was picturing my wedding day; having all the girls helping me to get ready, my mom bursting into tears every five minutes, slipping into my wedding dress and feeling like a princess, my father telling me his pearls of wisdom as we wait for the music to start and the flower girls to finish, walking down the aisle and seeing Christian at the altar looking as striking as ever, rows and rows of family watching Christian and I exchange vows, the wedding photographs, the speeches and Christian and I's first dance. Kate is in all of that. I want her there.

"Oh Kate" I stretch across the small wooden table and squeeze her hand "Congratulations. I am so happy for you."

"Thank you. We are over the moon."

"We?"

"Oh yeah, Elliot came by and we talked a lot. He finally admitted to his faults and apologized. We are taking things slow but we are getting there."

"That is great. Really" I say genuinely. I am so glad Elliot has finally stood up to the plate and accepted his responsibilities as a father.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"So, what has been going on with you?"

The nerves kick in and I have no idea why. "Um I have some pretty big news of my own."

"Oh yeah" she says as she sips on her iced tea.

"Yeah. Kate... I am pregnant."

Her mouth drops open. I stare at her waiting for some reaction but she is stock still "Kate?"

Her eyes begin to fill "Ana congratulations!" she squeals. Kate leaps up, well stands up moderately quickly in her condition, and pulls me into a warm hug. It feels so right to be this close to her again. I knew that I had missed her, but I didn't realise just how much. Sharing this time with my best friend means more to me than anything. We stay in this embrace for a while; the other patrons openly staring at us, but it doesn't matter we need this. Eventually we break away and swipe at our wet cheeks.

"I can't believe you are pregnant. " Kate says examining my stomach.

"Yeah there was a mix up at the health clinic and here we are."

"And how do you feel?"

"Nervous."

"Understandable"

"Yeah I guess. There is more to it though."

"Oh yeah?" Kate enquires and I go on to tell her about out the baby and the chance of Down Syndrome. Somehow I end up spilling all my fears to her, things I haven't even discussed with Christian.

"Ana, I am so sorry you are going through all of this."

"Its fine I just want to know now. I want to start preparing for this little life, making sure that we are the best parents and I am the mother this child needs me to be."

"You are going to be an outstanding mother Ana. Never doubt that."

"Thank you and likewise" I smile "That isn't all. I have more information to impart."

"Proceed" she flicks her hand like royalty and I giggle. This is so comfortable, so familiar.

"We have moved the wedding forward."

"Oh really?" Kate replies dismissively.

"Uh huh. To next week"

Kate's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets "Next week" she screeches.

"Keep it down! We are trying to be put the press off and if anyone hears and runs to the media everything will be ruined."

"Sorry but why the rush?"

"Christian Grey"

"Now I understand" She says sarcastically.

"He said he couldn't wait any longer and needed to make me his wife as soon as possible."

"You got yourself quite the romantic there girl."

"No I have myself one hell of a headache. Everyone is rushing about like headless chickens; Grace is going to give herself a coronary, my Mom is fretting over everything especially my dress; she is flying in tomorrow, Carrick and Dad have been calling each other with tips on their speeches can you believe that! And Mia is driving me crazy Kate, that girl is a whirlwind." Kate giggles "Christian said that he hired a planner who could do this in two weeks, but in reality it was difficult so Mia took charge. How that family copes with her I will never know, she is on the phone constantly asking about flowers, centrepieces, menus and bands. She is on Christian's case 24/7 about the vows and the honeymoon. My head is about to explode!"

Kate laughs all the way through "This isn't funny Kavanagh. I may be in jail on my wedding day for strangling Mia."

"Deep breaths Ana. In and out, in and out" I send a dirty look her way "See I've been practising, gonna ace this birthing shit."

Trust Kate to make me smile through a breakdown. Her happy demeanour changes though when we pause and she remembers she isn't a part of it all. "I am sure the day will be perfect Ana, your dream wedding with all of the people you love and adore there to witness it and at the end you will be married to the love of your life."

"Your right, all of those people will be there and so will you."

For the second time today her mouth is agape, I am quite enjoying inciting this reaction from her as it is very rare that I can make Katherine Kavanagh speechless "Excuse me" she whispers.

"Kate I know we have been through the ringer these past few months, but there isn't anyone I want there more than you. I have tried to push aside my love for you and replace it with hatred but it hasn't worked. I love you. You are my partner in crime, my sister and my best friend and I am tired of fighting this! So, Katherine if all goes as planned and you aren't giving birth, will you attend my wedding... as my maid of honour?"

The tears are gushing down her rosy cheeks. She nods her head frantically "Of course I will" she cries.

"Thank you"

"No thank you. Are you sure? I mean really sure? After everything?"

"Some people will call me crazy but who cares. Only you and I understand the love we have here"

"I will never hurt you again."

"Promise?"

"Promise"

"Good now you have a bachelorette party to plan because even though you are 9 months pregnant I know you can plan a kick ass night... also I have a sneaking suspicion Mia is planning a party with fire-eaters, wild animals and a truck load of strippers" _The horror!_

"The strippers sound good..." Kate teases.

"Christian will string them alive."

Escala is empty when I return. Kate and I spent the next hour sharing ideas on my party and phoning venues. I kick off my heels and plonk myself on one of the comfy chairs in the TV room. Daytime television and junk food sounds like heaven. Gail comes into the room looking flustered.

"Oh god what's wrong Gail" I ask concerned.

"Miss Grey has been blowing up that phone all day."

"What does she want this time? I ask exasperated.

"She wanted to know when y'all are meeting tomorrow for the dress fitting."

"Okay I will call her back. Thanks Gail."

I slide the phone handset on the lamp table beside me and dial the all too familiar number. It only rings twice before she answers.

"Ana?"

"Jesus! How did you know it was me?"

"I have assigned you a special ringtone. Look I was just going through the diary when I saw that your dress fitting is tomorrow and your mother and stepfather are flying in."

"Yeah that's right."

"So, does Carla want to join us?"

"I would think so Mia, she is my mother" I sigh

"Right. Yes. When is good time? I need to call the dressmakers and organise a time."

"Well, Christian and I have an appointment early tomorrow morning..."

"For what?" Mia demands cutting me off.

" Oh nothing important" we haven't told the family about my pregnancy yet, we were going to announce it at the wedding. "The jet should arrive from Georgia around lunch."

"Okay well Mom finishes her rounds at the hospital at two so shall we say three?"

"Yes that's fine" I agree and desperately hope this is the end and I can hang up, but of course with Mia Grey it is never that easy

"While I have you on the phone Ana, you and Christian need to call the caterers and the cake makers to arrange a suitable time for your taster sessions.

"We don't need taster sessions Mia, I am sure everything you have picked out will be divine."

"That isn't my decision to make Ana, you have the final say."

"Fine, call them and set up a meeting with both on Tuesday and Thursday night here at Escala."

"Will do."

"Is that all?" _Please say yes! Please say yes!_

"I think so, oh wait I have to remind you that on Saturday you and Christian must attend a meeting with the priest who will be marrying you."

"It's in the calendar I think."

"Okay well that is it for now. I will call you if I think of anything else."

"I'm sure you will. Oh Kate is now part of the wedding party so you will need to pencil her in, she is also now in charge of my bachelorette party on Saturday. Goodbye Mia" I rush off the phone.

"Wait Ana what!?"

I thought hiring somebody else to plan your wedding was supposed to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed! I blame Christian. This wouldn't be so much if he had just stuck with the original date. The stupid romantic control freak!

The rest of the day is surrendered to television. I scroll through the channels picking out home makeover and cookery shows. Gail joins me when the food channels are on; it seems she can't tear herself away. It is actually pretty funny. The two of us spend the afternoon shouting at the Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten, for being too damn perfect and drooling over the luscious curves of Nigella Lawson who is officially my new girl crush. Mia has been an ever constant presence however

"Ana what do you think about doves?"

"Not a fan" I hang up.

Ten minutes later.

"Swans?"

"Too extravagant."

Thirty minutes go by before the phone rings again.

"Ice sculptures."

"How many?"

"12"

"12! No. The limit is two, three at the most" Mia groans and hangs up but not for long.

"Given the size of the wedding I have ordered a six tiered cake."

"Why six Mia?"

"It has to feed everyone Ana" She tells me like it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"You guys just have to decide on a flavour and the design. Live band/singer?"

"Yes Christian has that covered."

"He does?"

"Yes Mia he told you this" Christian and I have a special connection with music and he wanted full control of that aspect of our wedding, much to Mia's disgust.

"Fine. Will you get him to call me when he gets in; I need to run this ridiculously small budget he has given me by him. It's simply not enough."

"I think $500,000 is more than enough."

"Anastasia Steele soon-to-be Grey we are looking at around $2 million doll."

"WHAT!" I screech.

"Calm down! This is a showbiz wedding; all of the media and Christian famous friends are going to be there, its needs to be spectacular!" _I didn't know Christian had any famous friends!_

In the end I unhook the phone and turn up the volume on the TV to try and block out the world, especially one Mia Grey. My wedding is becoming as big as the Oscars! All I want, is to be Christian's wife. I don't need all this fuss and grandeur, a trip down to city hall would have suited me fine.

Music is blaring from the television so I close my eyes and sing along with Hayley Williams.

_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry_

_and curse at the wind._

_He broke his own heart and I watched_

_as he tried to reassemble it._

_And my momma swore_

_that she would never let herself forget._

_And that was the day that I promised_

_I'd never sing of love if it does not exist._

_But darling,_

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

It is not long before I am joined by Christian. He comes up behind and wraps his arms around my neck, pressing our heads together as we sing.

_Maybe I know somewhere_

_deep in my soul_

_that love never lasts._

_And we've got to find other ways_

_to make it alone._

_Or keep a straight face._

_And I've always lived like this_

_keeping a comfortable distance._

_And up until now I've sworn to myself_

_that I'm content with loneliness._

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk._

_Well you are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_I've got a tight grip on reality,_

_but I can't let go of what's in front of me here._

_I know you're leaving in the morning_

_when you wake up._

_Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_And I'm on my way to believing._

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing._

"Hello my secret lover, I have been waiting for you all day. We have to be quick my fiancé will be home any minute." I tease

"Ana" Christian growls.

I turn in his hold and act shocked " Christian! That was not how it sounded."

"Don't play with me woman. It will only be worse for you and your sweet little ass in the long run."

"Oh those delicious threats."

"Not a threat baby. A promise" He whispers.

"I've missed you" I place a lingering kiss on his cheek.

"I've missed you too baby."

"How was your day?"

"You are now looking at the proud owner of a small up and coming German Solar Panel Company."

"Well done baby. I am so proud of you."

He shrugs "All in a days work."

"I had a good day too."

"You did?"

"Yeah. It was so nice to sit down and laugh with my best friend again. It felt normal you know?"

"I'm glad baby. While we are on the subject, I went to see Elliot today."

I whip my head round in shock "You did?"

"Yeah took him for a beer. I asked him to be my best man. I understand if that is too weird for you and I know we haven't discussed it, but he is my brother and the handful of times that I have actually allowed myself to think about getting married he was always beside me. So much shit has gone on and he did a terrible thing to the woman I love and I will never forget that; but I love him and he has been there for me my whole life, through good times and bad and trust me there has been some bad times. So what I am saying is I kinda owe him..." Christian rambles on. Its novel to see him in such a state. The more he rambles the harder it gets to contain my laughter. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you are adorable.

"I am not adorable" He pouts.

"You kinda are. Christian I think it's a great idea."

"You do?"

"Yes! In fact I asked Kate to be maid of honour today."

"Well hasn't this worked out for the best?"

"It sure has. There is one problem though.

"What is it baby?" Christian asks me as he moves to stand in front of me. He pulls me up and into his arms.

"Your fucking sister" I complain and he laughs "I am serious Christian. I am going to kill her."

"I will sort it."

"Sooner rather than later. Even poor Gail is feeling the effects."

"Done. Now dance with me Mrs soon-to-be-in-a weeks-time Grey."

Christian spins me as The Wanted blasts from the TV.

_She wants me to come over_

_I can tell her eyes don't lie_

_She's calling me in the dark_

_She moves us where the room around the lights turn like the sky_

_Confidence like a rock star_

_I wanna put my hands on her hands_

_Feel the heat from her skin_

_Get reckless in the starlight_

_I'm moving to the beat of her heart_

_I was so lost until tonight, tonight_

_I found you, in my darkest hour_

_I found you, in the pouring rain_

_I found you, when I was on my knees_

_And your light brought me back again_

_Found you in the river of pure emotion_

_I found you, my only truth_

_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you, you, you_

_'Til I found you, you, you_

_The night is getting older_

_And I can't come off this high_

_I don't want this here to end_

_I know she feels the same_

_Cause I can see it in her eyes_

_She says, "Can we start again?"_

_I wanna put my hands on her hands_

_Feel the heat from her skin_

_Get reckless in the starlight_

_She's moving to the beat of my heart_

_We were so lost until tonight, tonight_

_I found you, in my darkest hour_

_I found you, in the pouring rain_

_I found you, when I was on my knees_

_And your light brought me back again_

_Found you in the river of pure emotion_

_I found you, my only truth_

_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you, you, you_

_'Til I found you, you, you_

_I said, people_

_We're all looking for love tonight_

_But sometimes we can't see it_

_We're all blinded by the light_

_And we all get low, all get low_

_Searching for that piece of mind_

_Just when I have given up_

_Looking for some kind of sign_

_That's when I found you, you, you_

_I found you, you, you_

_I found you, you, you_

_I found you, you, you_

_I found you, in my darkest hour_

_I found you, in the pouring rain_

_I found you, when I was on my knees_

_And your light brought me back again_

_Found you in the river of pure emotion_

_I found you, my only truth_

_I found you with the music playing_

_I was lost 'til I found you_

"We should head out tonight."I suggest when we stop dancing.

"Ana I am exhausted." He falls back into the chair.

"Come on old man. Let's go and be young." I plead as I climb onto his lap and nuzzle into his neck.

"I am so tired. Call Mia, I'm sure she will be happy to attend a night out on the tiles with you." He smirks.

"Fuck off. Pleeeeeease can we go out?"

"On one condition."

"What's that?"

"We come home early and I spend the night buried inside of you."Christian runs his tongue along the length of my neck.

"I think we can make that happen."

Christian and I end up in a small bar tucked away in down-town Seattle. He didn't want to go anywhere too loud and crowded and where he would be recognised. This bar is a hidden gem. The lighting is dimmed, a small stage with a stool in the centre and a piano at the side dictates the room, there are a number of round tables across the floor all with a small plastic flower in the middle and at the far end the bar is lined with eager customers. It is open mic night so the room is full. Christian disappears to presumably get some drinks so my attention is fixed on the singer on stage. She can't be any older than 20, she is strumming on an old guitar and singing about her ex girlfriend who has chosen drugs over her. Fifteen minutes soon pass and Christian still hasn't returned and I am getting worried. I know the bar is busy, but he isn't even in my eye line. Not willing to give up this table by leaving, I pull out my phone and scroll through to find Christian's number however I am stalled by the sound of the piano and the deep voice of somebody very familiar.

_You do something to me_

_Something deep inside_

_I'm hanging on the wire_

_For a love I'll never find_

_You do something wonderful_

_Then chase it all away_

_Mixing my emotions_

_That throws me back again_

_Hanging on the wire,_

_I'm waiting for the change_

_I'm dancing through the fire,_

_Just to catch a flame_

_An' feel real again_

_Hanging on the wire,_

_Said I'm waiting for the change_

_I'm dancing through the fire,_

_Just to catch a flame_

_An' feel real again_

_You do something to me_

_Somewhere deep inside_

_I'm hoping to get close to_

_A peace I cannot find -_

_Dancing through the fire yeah_

_Just to catch a flame_

_Just to get close to,_

_Just close enough -_

_To tell you that..._

_You do something to me_

_Something deep inside deep inside._

Christian's eyes never leave me all the way through his performance. The emotion behind the words sends shivers up my spine. You could have heard a pin drop when he was singing; everybody was captured by his voice. I knew he could sing, however I had no idea he was this good. The room has broken into loud claps and whoops.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Now I would like to introduce to the stage my gorgeous fiancée, Miss Anastasia Steele."

No, no, no. No fucking way. Panic seizes my body. How could he do this? The spotlight scans the room before following Christian's gaze and falling upon me, the whole room turn their heads in my direction. A member of staff appears at my side to escort me to the stage. I can't believe he is doing this to me! I have no other choice than to climb up and join Christian.

"It is about time everybody heard that amazing voice" he whispers into my ear.

"I can't Christian!"

"You can baby. Every time you sing my heart skips a beat, you really don't know how great you are and besides these people are soon going to tell you."

He has always said positive things about my voice though I honestly thought he was just being biased.

"I am going to be sitting right over there "He points to our table "Just sing to me."

He jumps off the stage and leaves me all alone. Somebody hands me a spare guitar and I gulp. Ray taught me to play when I was kid but I don't play often. Deciding to just bite the bullet I perch on the black stool and start to strum a song I think describes everything I want to say to my fiancé.

_Don't tell me love is something you won't try again_

_That's just not true_

_But baby right now maybe what you need a friend_

_Well, I'm here for you_

_I will be by your side_

_If ever you fall deep in the dead of the night_

_Whenever you call_

_And I won't change my mind_

_No, I'll see you through_

_And I won't give up_

_No, I won't give up_

_I won't give up on you_

_You need someone who knows you from the inside out_

_The way I do_

_I seen you walk the wire never looking down_

_I believe in you_

_I will be by your side_

_If ever you fall deep in the dead of the night_

_And I won't give up_

_No, I won't give up_

_I won't give up_

_You can call it love_

_But I won't give up on you_

I do exactly what Christian told me to do, my eyes never straying from his handsome face. As I finish the last chord he lights up enough to brighten the whole room. The audience also seem to love my performance too because they are all on their feet clapping, some even wiping away tears. I hand the guitar to the backstage guy and make my way over to Christian. He runs and lifts me off my feet.

"See I told you, amazing. My baby, the superstar!" He proudly exclaims.

* * *

The next morning arrives before I know it and we are both on tender-hooks. Nothing more than idle chit chat is exchanged between us during our morning routine. Christian has taken the day off so is dressed casually in a red polo shirt, blue jeans and boots. I am wearing a red and purple strapless maxi dress and a pair of brown sandals; I grab my black and white Celine handbag on the way out. The morning Seattle sunshine is bright so we both slip on a pair of aviators and hop into Christian's black R8. The early hour ensures that the clinic is empty and we are ushered straight in. Dr. Green keeps us waiting for a stupidly long time. Christian is bouncing his right leg and wringing his hands together in anticipation. My anxiety is shot to hell.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Miss Steele, Mr. Grey. We have a new intern starting this morning so we are trying to get her sorted" Dr. Green says as she walks into the room.

"I know that feeling" Christian laughs nervously.

The doctor sits behind her desk and looks through our folder on the desk. "We did the screening test, last week, to search for any abnormalities with the foetus. Before we begin I must remind you that this test isn't well recognised for its exact diagnosis yet it does give us a clear indication. Firstly, how are you Ana? Things are progressing smoothly?

"Yes everything is fine, the morning sickness has stopped."

"I bet you are happy about that."

"Very"

"We have the results here and it seems everything is in order" Christian and I both release a breath we didn't know we were holding " The baby is much larger than I would expect at this stage of your pregnancy which is why I was concerned it may have a birth defect. It shouldn't be anything to worry about at the minute; however I will have to closely monitor you as time progresses. Hopefully this is just a growth spurt and things will settle down. If not the option of a vaginal birth may not be available, but we will discuss that nearer the time.

"Thank you Dr. Green" Christian's voice is hoarse.

"It's not a problem. I will ask if our appointments can be more regular than normal. I want to keep a close eye on you; the initial tests have come back clear, but as you are only in the first trimester it may be undetectable however at the moment, you have one healthy eager baby."

We leave the doctor's office in a daze. The whole situation is quite surreal. Our baby is fine. I look up at Christian and he has the same expression on his face.

"Baby?" I query.

"I'm okay. I guess just surprised."

"Yeah but this is good right?"

"Oh of course. It's just that we have been preparing for our child to be born with Down's Syndrome."

"I know and we would have loved that child just as much."

"Too right!"

"We aren't out of the woods yet Christian" I remind him.

"Everything will be okay. We have each other and that is all that matters."

**A/N I know many of you were expecting the baby to be born with DS but that was never the plan. I just wanted to highlight a few things like Christian's development as a potential father and its importance. Like in the book, his horrible childhood has taunted him and the prospect of becoming a dad scares him greatly so I wanted to explore his reaction when his child is in danger. The concern and kind man he tries to bury deep down comes through. I also wanted to write about Down Syndrome as it is something that is close to my heart. It is a subject which hasn't been touched I don't think on fanfiction, or with this trilogy anyway, so I wanted to bring something new to the table.**

**The songs in this chapter are:**

**Paramore- The Only Exception**

**The Wanted- I Found You**

**Paul Weller- You Do Something To Me (one of my personal all time favourite songs!)**

**Jana Kramer- I Won't Give Up ( one for the One Tree Hill fanatics like myself )**

**Anyway we are on the wedding home straight. I have some really cute surprises coming up! **


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N First off I have to apologize for the lack of updates, my life has recently become one big deadline and unfortunate my stories have been left at the wayside. My schedule is beginning to clear up a little bit so hopefully updates will be more regular. Even better news, I finish in a few weeks and I can write till my hearts content**.

**The wedding part 1**

**Christian POV**

The day is finally upon us. My wedding day. It's just turned 5am and I am already awake, showered and had an hour in the gym in an effort to calm my nerves. A gruelling session on the treadmill did nothing to soothe me, so I have ended up sitting in my eerily quiet office trying to distract myself with work. My mother, an advocate for tradition, practically kidnapped my wife-to-be last night and held her prisoner at their house. Far away from me. She cut off all communication ties by confiscating her cell phone and laptop which slowly but surely sent me stir crazy, in the end I had to drive over there and try to sneak in like a horny teenage boy. My mother caught me climbing the tresses below the spare room and ordered me home, much to the amusement of my father. The whole scenario would be hilarious if I wasn't so uptight and scared. This apartment was once my sanctuary and place of solace but now without Ana its barren and unnerving. Our bed was cold and lifeless; there was no passionate love making, no gentle kisses and caresses or words of endearment and support. To say I had a restless night would be an understatement. Every time I thought I was finally drifting off to sleep, those fucking stupid, niggling insecurities reared their ugly heads again. Years of self doubt, loathing and guilt came creeping back and threatened to ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me. I tried to wash away all of those doubts by replacing them with happy memories of Ana; the day I proposed and she said yes, when she first uttered those three most important words " I love you" and the moment she woke up after the shooting, her beautiful eyes twinkling at me when I thought I would never be privileged to look into them again. I love Anastasia more than life itself but I still continue to question if I will ever be enough for her. She deserves so much better than a broken man who has a mountain of issues as tall as Everest. I want so desperately to be the man she needs me to be, a man our child can be proud of.

My hand reaches for the small piece of paper lying next to the keyboard of my computer. My vows. We decided to write our own a few weeks ago and I have been working on them ever since. This is the fifth draft and I'm still not totally happy with them. This is my chance to truly declare my love and devotion to her and I can't screw this up. I open up the folded paper and skim through, adding little amendments as I go. I am so engrossed I don't hear the small tap on the door; it is only Taylor clearing his throat that alerts me to his presence

"Sorry Taylor. I was away in my own little world." I apologize and safety tuck my vows into the pocket of my pants

"It's not a problem Sir, I am just here to deliver this" Taylor holds out a white envelope and an uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. The angle of which he is holding it prevents me from properly seeing who it is from. What if it is from Ana? It must be who else would be sending me a letter on my wedding day? Oh God I knew this would happen, she has changed her mind and decided to cancel the wedding. One night away from the intensity of our relationship is enough time for her to realise that I am too much hassle, too riddled with issues. I don't blame her; I would sprint away from me too. My heart is beating so fast it may soon rip free from my chest.

With a shaky hand I retrieve the envelope from Taylor "Who is it from?" The words stick to the back of my throat. Maybe if I can get to her quickly I can convince her to take a chance on me, promise her the universe and beg at her feet. She can't leave me! My entire world revolves around her, Flynn finds this to be incredibly unhealthy but I couldn't give a fuck; she is my air, my sanity and my hope.

"It's from the prison" My whole body sags in relief. The adrenaline which was coursing through my veins slowly dwindles. I haven't lost her. I close my eyes and slowly exhale, I was certain Ana was walking out of my life.

"Sir, are you okay?" I open my eyes to see a concern Taylor. The guy probably thought I was having a breakdown. It is only now that his words sink in "It's from the prison". Dread is the overriding emotion now, fuck today has only just begun but already I am fully strapped on to the roller-coaster. The only people I know who are incarcerated are Elena and Lelia. Of course this is the day they decide to get in touch.

"Thanks Taylor. Remember I need to be brought up-to-date on all security measures in place for the ceremony. No slip ups today Taylor, I mean it or you will all be out on your ass. Clear?"

"Crystal" Taylor exits the room and I stare at the letter in my palm. It's from Elena, her handwriting is unmistakable. Deep down I know I should just burn this but yet I want to hear what she has to say for herself. Today is a turning point for me, finally I have the opportunity to say goodbye to the old Christian and start anew and maybe this is the final step in achieving that. I grab the scissors from the top draw of my desk and slide the blade across the envelope. Steeling myself, I begin to read

_Christian _

_Who would have thought it would come down to this? Being locked up here has obviously given me a lot of time to think and reflect. I have struggled with what to say to you, you know I am not any good at this stuff and I suppose that is part of the point I am trying to make with this letter. You know me better than anybody else on this planet and that is maybe an explanation for my attachment I don't know. Looking back I remember when I first saw you, the confused beautiful boy looking for somebody to help him and no matter how much your little wifey tries to convince you otherwise I did help you Christian. The BDSM was an outlet for your bottled up emotions, our relationship provided you with security along with a strong dose of arousal and my teaching and encouragement gifted you your wealth. There has never been a man who has turned me more than you do, they way you used to look at me made me instantly wet. I miss that. I miss you depending on me, fantasizing over me (truthfully it hasn't stopped me think of you, the memories I have do provide me with the pleasure I need in here) I admit for years I tried to manipulate you into loving me because I was desperately in love with you and still am. When you ended our relationship I was heartbroken but I knew you would return to me, but then you found her. That slut wormed her way in! She ruined everything Christian, the few months before Christmas I could feel you coming back to me and then she showed up and destroyed everything. I am so angry at you for letting her in and allowing her to control you, that is my job. I knew if I could just get her out of the way everything would return to normal, you would be back in my bed and I was so close to achieving that. I don't regret my actions babe, love makes you do crazy things. _

_I have kept a close eye on you whilst I have been in here (well as best as I can, your security seem to be attached to your hip) and I know you are getting married so I am going to provide you with your out. I don't care about our recent troubles, I forgive you. Leave her gold- digging ass at the alter and we can be together. If you explain to the judge that it was all just a big misunderstanding or that you had been brainwashed by that stupid bitch, he will believe you and I can appeal. We can move away and start our beautiful life together. I love you baby. Christian you are my soul mate. Remember our history. Your heart will make the right decision_

_All of my love,_

_Yours Elena _

_x_

You're right Elena, my heart will make the right decision and it beats for Ana.

**Ana POV**

I have to escape the craziness!

From the minute my eyes opened this morning I have not had a moment's peace. There is always somebody badgering, poking, prodding, grooming or hurdling me about. My mother has been bursting into tears every two seconds, Grace is shadowing the workmen because she is afraid they are going to trash her house, Mia is screaming at everybody and I have had enough. I truly believed my wedding morning would be a happy occasion; we would be sipping on Mimosa and lounging around in fluffy white bathrobes. This is as far away from that as it could possibly be.

I slip out of the French patio doors and sneak out into the sprawling grounds which overlook Lake Washington, the Olympic Mountains sparkling in the background. The hustle and bustle continues out her but at a much more pleasing volume. I can hear the early morning chirping of the birds, the spring breeze whistles through my hair and the freshly cut grass feels silky beneath my bare feet. We are having an outdoor ceremony; Christian and I will be married at sunset under a beautiful white arch decorated with white billowing cloth and white and lilac flowers. Our bridesmaids and grooms men will also stand under small arches on each side. The backdrop is the picturesque lake. The number of guests will be considerably smaller for the ceremony than at the reception, that was the deal Christian struck with Mia.

The gentle sway of the water draws me in and I pad across the lawn, dodging busy workmen, and on to the creaky deck. I walk right to the edge and sit down, dangling my feet just above the cold water. There is such a contrast between the stress inside the house and the serene atmosphere out here. Despite the tension bubbling between my family and I, I am remarkably calm. In a few short hours I will become Mrs Christian Grey and honestly I can't wait. Our path has been rocky but every bump has been worth it. I shut my eyes and absent-mindedly stroke my stomach as I enjoy the sun's rays and the sound of the water lapping against the deck.

"Shouldn't you be getting your hair done or something?" Elliot's voice startles me. He stands behind me in just a pair of grey sweatpants and for a split second I am transported back to a time in which he was mine and we were happy. Before the drama and before Christian and Kate. Elliot was my first serious boyfriend and I suddenly miss the friendship we shared.

"Just taking a breather."

He takes a seat beside me and we both look out at the awe inspiring panoramic view in front of us.

" I am happy for you." Elliot breaks the silence, sincerity oozing from him

"Huh?"

"It has taken me a long time to get to this point. In the past few months I have blamed everybody but myself, my head was permanently buried in the sand but that changed when you guys announced the pregnancy. I suppose I had deluded myself into thinking that this was just a flash in the pan, Christian isn't the easiest person to be with and I assumed in time you would tire of his nonsense but seeing you guys together; the way he looks at you I know you are his other half and visa versa. You are getting everything you have ever wanted and I'm just sorry I wasn't able to give you that. That smile on your face is worth millions Ana and Christian put it there. I know we have been through a lot of shit but we made it through haven't we?"

"We sure have. Elliot you are a good guy, misguided maybe but with a heart of gold. You will find your happiness too, you just have to open your eyes and its there."

Elliot ponders my words, "Christian loves you so much Ana. I have watched him stroll around aimlessly for years and all I wanted was for him to find happiness. Never did I think it would be with my girlfriend though" Elliot laughs and I nudge his shoulder "I loved you Ana, never doubt that but maybe I just didn't love you enough and I'm sorry. If I could ask one thing of you its to forgive me and allow me to be your friend because I need you in my life."

"Do you realise that in the space of five minutes I have received more genuine apologises from you than I have in 2 years." I giggle "I love him so much Elliot it scares me. I am petrified somebody is going to take him away from us and I know if that happens I will fall apart. I don't function without him."

"Girl you got it bad."

I sigh and throw him a smile. "I know."

"I love Kate, Ana."

"I know."

"I want to be a good father."

"I know."

"I want to be your friend."

"I know."

"Have we used up all of our words today?" he teases.

I wink at his amusement. "Go for it Elliot. I am not standing in your way, jeez I am marrying you brother today"

"Thanks Ana, I know you have said it before but..."

"Elliot" I interrupt " Grow some balls and tell that woman how you feel." I slap his shoulder and hoist myself up.

"Fuck Ana, you been on the spinach diet or something" he rubs his "injury." " Enough of this chit chat, you have been summoned by Queen Mia so you better run on up there or she may cut off my head. The woman is ruthless!"

"Tell me about it. I don't know how you guys have put up with her for so long" I complain. She really has been a nightmare. I will be glad when this wedding is over and normal, less excitable Mia returns to earth.

"Ah she isn't that bad. Congratulations Ana." He gives me a quick squeeze then gives me a gentle push towards the house. Time to face the mayhem once more.

* * *

I stand facing the full length mirror admiring the reflection. After a cruel joke played by Christian; he allowed my mother to drag me around every "vintage" bridal store in the city to try on a selection dresses which can only be described as abominations before announcing that he had hired the Vera Wang store in Bellevue for the day and that the extraordinary woman herself would be in attendance; I swear to god I could have killed him, I stumbled upon the perfect dress. It was a wonder that I discovered this gem with all the beautiful options I was surrounded with, and yet the minute my eyes fell on it I was in love. The cream strapless gown has a heart shaped trapunto-stitched bustier, a lavender silk sash tie which fastens around my waist and the skirt and train is a blend of lace rose cut organza layers. An obligatory pair of white lace sling-back Louboutins with a small bow perched on the peep-toe, grace my feet. The dress is so breathtaking I have decided to keep my make up natural and my hair up in simple tidy bun.

This is it! My last few minutes being a Steele. My new life as a wife and a mother starts here and I could not be more excited. I hear two audible gasps from behind and turn to see my mother and Kate standing in the doorway, my dress rustling with the movement.

"Oh darling you look like a princess. I am so very very proud of you baby and I have no doubts that you will be a wonderful wife and an excellent mother. Christian has fallen on his feet with you my beautiful girl." my mother whispers. She dabs her eyes gracefully with the well used tissue in her hand and walks forwards to embrace me.

"Thanks Mom." I say as I fall into her arms and annoyingly let the tears flow. All day I have felt fine, euphoric even, but as the time edges ever closer, my emotions are beginning to run rampant and the significance of my mothers words are only fuel to the fire.

"You clean up good Steele." Kate praises. Even heavily pregnant she looks amazing in her lilac bridesmaids dress.

"Not so bad yourself Kavanagh." I squeeze mom one more time before breaking away. I smooth down the front of my dress, check my appearance in the mirror one last time and take a deep breath "Okay guys, lets go get hitched."

"Knock him dead Steele." Kate winks.

**Christian POV**

The sky begins to blush - just a little, like a girl about to receive her first kiss. The sun gilds the clouds, painting bright silver lines along their edges until they appear heavy and match the deep golden hue of warm whiskey. As darkness encroaches from the East of Lake Washington, the sky is ablaze with fire in many different colours; there is red and yellow, purple and pink, blue, teal, orange, and even white.

Elliot, Kate and I are all standing by the arches waiting for my bride. To my left my older brother stands suited in his Armani tux and fidgeting with his tie. It was only a few weeks ago that we were estranged brothers fighting over the same girl, the girl waiting somewhere in that house waiting to marry me, I never wanted to hurt Elliot, and although he cheated on Ana I know he loved her and I snatched away the woman he loved and for that I will be forever sorry. We were never that close as kids but as adults our relationship blossomed and I almost ruined that. Do I regret everything that went on between the three of us? Absolutely. Would I change how I acted? Yes, however it may sound horrible but Elliot brought Ana into my life and for that I will be always be thankful. Over the past few weeks we have worked hard on rebuilding our relationship; we have argued, accused and it even got physical but now I truly feel we are making some headway. Unsurprisingly its the impending fatherhood that has bonded us, we have both shared our fears and looked to one another for support. I turn in his direction and hold out my hand. He stares at it for a heartbeat before taking it and pulling me into a bear hug.

"I love you little brother." he whispers in my ear. A tear falls down my cheek.

"I love you too big brother."

"You are the right man for her. Don't screw this up or I will kick your ass." He warns

"You sound like Ray." I groan. That wasn't a pleasant conversation, I was sure Ray was going to cut off my balls and hang them above his fireplace as a souvenir.

Elliot chuckles and opens his mouth to retort but stops dead in his tracks. My older brother tilts his head and I follow his direction and see a vision before me. An angel. Dressed in the most exquisite dress, hair pulled up into a perfect bun at the side of that perfect head with a thin veil clipped into the center, she is wearing a smile as warm as the sun and tiny droplets are trailing down her rosy cheeks. She is quite easily the most beautiful person I have ever seen. All heads swivel back to catch a glimpse of this goddess. "The Power of Love" by Gabrielle Aplin begins to play and Ana's three year old cousin Sarah toddles down the aisle in a pretty white sparkle party dress, it has a lace bodice with delicate capped sleeves, sequin detailing along neckline, satin shine lining and a tie back belt; she is sprinkling white and purple flowers as she goes. At the end Ana's aunt picks her up as she receives a little round of applause as well as many "aww's". The rest of the wedding part is next; my mother and grandfather, Carla and my father and then Mia and Jose (much to my displeasure, Ana and Jose reconnected after a few months of no communication and she invited him to be a part of the wedding).

The candles lining the aisle flicker in the gentle breeze and the fairy lights hanging from the trees twinkle. Ray leans down and whispers in Ana's ear, she gazes at her father and proceeds to cup his cheek and places an affectionate kiss. Ana threads her arm through Ray's and they walk slowly towards me.

Our eyes meet.

The love between is palpable.

"I love you." She mouths

"I love you more."

**A/N Part 2 is on its way! **

**The song Ana walks down the aisle to is Gabrielle Aplin's cover of "The power of love."**

**Pictures of the wedding are all on my Pinterest page xoliannexo/temptation/ and for those who follow my other story "Rescue Us" I have posted pictures of A&Cs houses .com****/xoliannexo/rescue-us/**** I will probably keep adding more as a go. **


	35. Chapter 35

**The Wedding part 2**

**Ana POV**

The sun is beginning to set over the shimmering water. A gentle breeze whistles through the evening air and the serene aura encompasses us. The object of my desire, my love and my life stands before me looking suave in his fitted tuxedo. Some may say I am crazy for getting married at such a young age but those people would be wrong. If you had the opportunity to be with that one person who makes you feel whole, the person who you know for certain will do everything in his power, and let's be honest Christian's power is vast, to protect and love you for the rest of your life, you would grab it with both hands. Yes my Christian is flawed and is carrying a truck load of issues on his shoulders, but I love him with all of my heart and today I will pledge my devotion to him.

The band located at the side of the arches play the opening chords of "The Power of Love" and the butterflies awaken in my stomach once more, or that could be our little bundle of joy trying to get in on some of the action not that I could ever forget them. I hook my arm through Ray's and step forward to start what seems like an endless path to the end and into the arms of my man. The closer I get to Christian the more I relax and savour the moment, because you can be sure I will not be doing this again; Christian is it for me. My dress glides along the cream carpet and complements the dusk perfectly. The elation spread proud across Christian's impossibly handsome face makes my heart skip a few vital beats. There have not been many occasions during this man's short life when he has been this happy or content and knowing that I am the reason for that means more than anybody could possibly know. I want to erase all of the heartache he has suffered and replace it with joy and security; never again do I want pain to grace his perfect features.

My feet seem to have a mind of their own; they are travelling faster than any bride in history that has walked down the aisle. The tearful expressions of those close to us are touching and I offer a grateful smile. Like most traditional weddings, the two families were penciled to be seated on either side but that seemed too impersonal to me. I scraped the seating plan, much to Mia's disgust, and ordered everyone to sit where they fancied as long as the front few rows were reserved for immediate family; this has currently resulted in Grace and my mother side by side comforting each other in a emotional embrace. The stunning melody is soothing and by the time I reach Christian's side, the nerves have disappeared and peace has settled in. Our eyes are locked onto one another's like rafters and we are both clinging on for dear life; it is Ray's gentle squeeze on my arms which draws us out of our bubble. I turn to my father and give him another tender kiss on his rosy cheek, the level of affection emulating from me is a surprise to him, mainly because he has received the brunt of it. I just need to show him how much I love and respect the man who made me what I am today; without his guidance and support I don't know how I would have survived. Ray Steele may be a taciturn fisherman and he may keep it well hidden but he has a heart of gold, my mother sure missed out there. Ray kisses my forehead and takes his place next to Carrick on the front row.

"You look breathtaking." Christian's intimate whisper draws my attention away from my retreating father and once again I am trapped in those grey orbs; love, passion and hope dancing across his gaze.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I smile shyly. That suit is doing wonders for his already chiseled body. Every sinew is dressed in the finest Italian cloth and his Oxford cap toe shoes are gleaming with polish, however the most special part of his ensemble is most definitely the cuff links, an A and a C with a small cluster of gems along the centre of each letter representing the birth stone of our baby based on the predicted due date.

With our hands entwined, we stand before Minister David and wait for the ceremony to begin.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and nature to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Before we continue, if any man can show any just cause, why these two people may not be lawfully joined together, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

I wait with baited breath. From the corner of my eye I notice a slight movement and panic seeps through me. My eyes home in on Elliot behind Christian's shoulder; he adjusts his tie and then seems to force his hands into his pockets. He catches my eye and gives me a sad smile and a slight nod; if I wasn't studying him as hard as I am I would have missed it. Convinced Elliot is no longer a risk I look back to Christian who is searching the wider vicinity for any intruders; his eyes darting in all directions and a worried expression pasted on his face. Taylor and Sawyer are patrolling the immediate area and I can see ten to fifteen other men in the background standing guard. He isn't telling me something.

Minister David nervously laughs and clears his throat " Always a tense moment that." The congregation murmur, then settle down.

"Christian, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, do you vow to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as you both shall live?

In a booming voice, Christian answers "I do."

The minster asks me the same and receives the same answer. " I believe that Christian and Anastasia have taken it upon themselves to write their own vows, so Christian when you are ready..."

"Ana, I will never be able to describe the feeling I get when you walk into a room; my heart leaps and all of my breath leaves my body. You came into my life at a time when I was so lost, I was just going through the motions and I was behaving like a thirsty man travelling through the desert looking for an oasis. Then you appeared as a waterfall of beauty, elegance and kindness and set my world alight; you healed me of the wounds which had come to define me. With your love and patience I was able to open my heart to many of the people watching us in this union today and for that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for taking a chance on me, for loving me, for trusting me and for gifting me with a child. I promise to be by your side through every trial and tribulation. I will never stray from our commitment. My heart will always belong to you and I know for certain that we are going to share a long and happy life together so strap in baby because I can't promise you an easy ride but I can assure you of my dedication. I love you with every ounce of my being sweetheart" Christian pauses to collect himself before once again speaking " I, Christian Trevelyn Grey, take you, Anastasia Steele, to be my partner, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, the role of motherhood you will flourish under, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us. "

Tears are streaming down both of our faces. Those words will be etched into my soul for the rest of time.

"Ana?" the priest prompts. I take a huge unsteady intake of breath and slowly release, trying and failing to keep my emotions in check.

"Christian, there are many in this world who view you as a cold, ruthless man and someone to fear, how wrong they are. You, my love, are the sweetest, most generous man I have ever met. We have never done things by the book or by half's which is why I can't promise you a child and a home and all the other stuff a new wife should promise because we have already begun all of that " A teary bout of laughter resounds in the air " however I can promise you that I am yours, truly and completely. I have been from the very first second I laid eyes on you. We have faced some of the toughest obstacles possible in our short relationship and we have overcome them and are stronger than ever which shows me that we can face anything life has to throw at us. You have done nothing but lavish me with your love and right now, here in front of all these people, I vow to make sure you have smile on your face each and every day for the rest of your life. Never again will you go through a situation, of any kind, on your own. So Christian Trevelyn Grey, I, Anastasia Steele, take you to be be lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God and our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour and respect you, to laugh and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

"And now it is time for the rings" Christian releases one of my hands to collect the ring from Elliot and he slides it easily onto my finger "With this ring, I thee wed." Christian winks at me and I can't help grinning at his cocky manner. I turn to Kate, who waddles forward clutching her bump in one hand and the ring in the other, I take it and slip it onto its rightful place "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Then by the power invested in me by God Almighty and the fine state of Washington, I now pronounce you husband and wife." Minister David pointedly looks at Christian "You may _now _kiss the bride."

"It's about time!" Christian breathlessly exclaims before bundling me up into his arms, lifting me off of the ground and landing a passionate kiss to my mouth. The hoots and applause disappear as we become lost in each other. We pull away and stare into each others eyes.

"Hi wife."

"Hi husband." Christian's glorious smile breaks out and brightens the darkening sky. The sweet sound of the strings commence indicating our exit, so I take Christian's hand once more and walk down the aisle; stopping to embrace my mother and father on the way. We pose for our wedding photographs on the dock of the lake, the almond sunset as our backdrop; we get several pictures with each member of our respective family, an abundance of just the two of us shots and one group photo. There is some time before the party begins in the enormous tent erected around the other side of the house and I still need to change into my second dress which will be easier to move and dance in. All of our guests are being served refreshments and are enjoying the last few minutes of the sunset. The sun slips below the horizon, and the clouds begin to shift and pale again, until night claims the sky and turns it into a sapphire glowing with its own inner light. Stars appear - one, two, five, a hundred - and finally, the darkness is complete. People are so memorised by the majestic sight, they don't notice us slip away into the house. We are deliriously happy climbing the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Mrs Grey, are you dragging me to have your wicked way with me?" Christian mocks with a smug grin.

"Actually I have to change into my other dress. You are free to rejoin the party if you want."

"Oh no. I am going to have hot sex with my new wife. Right now."

"No you are not."

"What?" His face falls.

"Christian," I sigh " I don't want our first time as husband and wife to be a rushed fumble. Surely even you can wait until tonight?"

"Wouldn't be so sure about that." he grumbles. He looks so adorable when he sulks and pouts.

"If you can be patience for a few more hours, I promise tonight you will have complete control." I raise my eyebrows at him and watch as his face transforms from disappointed to excited. He has control almost every time we have sex but I know my promise will hit the mark.

"It's a deal." Christian emphatically states. We walk into the room housing all of my belongings and Christian shuts and locks the door "but I still want to make you come in that magnificent dress." He stalks towards me and I back into the wall.

"Christian..." I warn but it is no use because as soon as his hand manages to work its way up through the material of my wedding dress and touch my bare skin, I am gone. Christian's hand finds the ruffled garter around my upper thigh and he let loose a hoarse groan.

"Seriously baby, this is killing me! You are wearing a garter."

I bite down on bottom lip and nod. "Untie me."

"Well isn't that a phrase."

A severe case of the giggles hits me as I turn around and give my back to him. Christian makes quick work of the corset and soon it is falling off of my body and onto the floor. My first instinct is to pick it up and hang it back up to prevent the expensive and stunning dress from being permanently damaged but instead I take Christian's offered hand and step out and around. It is then when I remember that I have my new lingerie on, I have a different set for later on tonight. Christian's hungry gaze sweeps across my body and he emits a growl.

"So. Not. Fair." he complains as he drops to his knees and places wet, open mouthed kisses from my ankle to my thigh. He repeats on the other leg, missing the vital area each time, leaving me wanton and squirming. I decide to take action into my own hands and reach around to unclasp my bra and roll my hardened nipples between my thumb and forefinger " Christian please..." I beg.

"All in good time baby. You getting an idea of how your no-sex-until-tonight is affecting me?" he teases and right now I want to slap that arrogant but perfect face. He stands and lifts me into his arms and places me in the armchair in front of the mirror, he retakes his place on the floor and opens my legs wide. My panties are quickly removed and Christian buries his nose in my dripping pussy, "my wife is so sweet and she smells delicious."

I buck my hips and push his head closer to me. His tongue flicks out and swipes at my lubricated folds. Christian takes my legs and throws them over his shoulders before finally devouring my pussy. Although I should be conscious of the hundreds of people outside, Christian's relentless mouth is rendering those thoughts pointless. He shifts my hips to give him better access and enters two fingers deep inside of me, the cold hard mental of his wedding band hitting my sensitive walls repeatedly. My nails scrap across his scalp as he continues to suck, lick and bite. The impending climax is rushing towards me at an alarming pace but to my surprise, Christian's fingers are removed and then I hear the sound of a zip. Of course my first assumption is that he is going to fuck me, I may be yearning for that thick cock but I will not consummate our marriage this way so I start to push him away; that is when I see him rhythmically gliding his hand along the hard shaft. I love watching him masturbate; there is something so erotic about it. He bites down on my swollen clit and I explode into his mouth; a waterfall of my juices flow for him. My whole body slumps in the chair from the intensity of my orgasm and my chest heaves fast. Christian stands and pushes down his suit pants, taking his boxer shorts with them. His painfully erect penis peeks through the opening of his shirt. He takes his shaft in hand once more and begins his strokes, alternating between slow, laboured stokes and fast, hard pulses. The slither of pre cum on the tip of his head is so enticing, I take it with my finger and rub is against my sensitive clit. This sends Christian wild and he spurts his releases all over my stomach; a loud growl bursting from his lips.

Christian slopes over me, his arms perching on the chair and his head on my breasts, as he catches his breath." Oh we are gonna have a great marriage."

* * *

Forty five minutes later, Christian and I make our way downstairs and to the tent, both freshly showered and in outfit number two. Christian has slipped into black Tom Ford suit and I have changed into my Chanel gown. The cream dress has a sheer top which is decorated with a lace pattern and the light floor length skirt is held in place by the thin white band around my waist, all paired with a simple but elegant pair of diamond earrings and cream Louboutins platforms. I know I won't last the entire night in these sky high platforms but for now they complement the dress beautifully and aren't causing me to much pain. As we enter the tent, the place erupts with applause and surge of people descend towards us.

"Ladies, gentleman and children, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Christian Grey!"

The next hour is spent meeting and greeting. There are more celebrities in this room than at the Oscars and I have enlisted Kate to stand close by and whisper their names as they approach. The Kardashian clan is here (much to the delight of Miss Kavanagh), several ex idol contestants, the Fashion Police crew; who praised my dress which secretly gave me a little ego boost, Ellen DeGeneres and her wife Portia, basketball and baseball players and some Olympic athletes who have joined Claude, Christian and I's personal trainer, are to name a few famous guests. Many of Christian's business associates are here too which has been exciting, it gives me a small insight into the people my husband interacts with on a day-to-day basis. Of course Ros and her wife, Barney, Welch and Andrea have attended too. There are family members and childhood friends who I haven't seen in a long time seated in the corner and catching up with them has been a real joy. My feet are aching from standing so when my ass finally hits a seat, the relief is indescribable. Our meal is served straight away and what a feast it is: roasted figs wrapped in Parma ham with blue cheese and rocket, Flambéed chicken with asparagus and it all finished with a dark chocolate pie with a cocoa nib praline. I barely have time to digest before Christian and I are being summoned for our first dance

"Ladies and gentleman, if I could have your attention for a second. Firstly I would like to thank you all for coming today, it really has been a proud day for our families, "Carrick is on the stage speaking to the guests "however before we all get down to 'busting a move' " Christian and Mia grimace at their father "and the cake is brought in, I would like to invite the bride and groom on to the dance floor for their first dance."

Christian and I smile at each other and make our way over to the center of the room. People are gasping and pointing so I turn to the stage and see one of my favourite singers, Norah Jones, seated behind a grand black piano. I look up at Christian, who is grinning like an idiot, in shock.

"Surprise baby!"

"What...how...uh" I stutter and Christian laughs.

He cups my face and strokes my cheeks with his thumbs " I heard you playing this song over and over when you're reading or writing or just relaxing. I want to make your every dream and fantasy come true Anastasia."

The tears again are tumbling down. "You sure are special aren't you Mr Grey?"

"If you say so Mrs Grey," he shrugs.

"No Christian believe me. This entire day, the last six months in fact have been a dream come true and it's all because of you. I adore you!"

"Anastasia, you are worth it all and trust me I adore you, worship you and obsess over you," he chuckles. "Listen to the lyrics baby because I mean every word."

_Come away with me in the night_

_Come away with me_

_And I will write you a song_

_Come away with me on a bus_

_Come away where they can't tempt us_

_With their lies_

_I want to walk with you_

_On a cloudy day_

_In fields where the yellow grass grows_

_knee-high_

_So won't you try to come_

Christian and I are swaying to Norah's dulcet tones, completely surrendering our self's to the music and the moment. This couldn't be more perfect. I am pressed up close to my new husband. I can feel every muscles tensing as he leads us around the floor. I nuzzle into the crook of his neck, his five o'clock shadow brushing against the smooth skin of my cheek. I barely register the other couples who are skirting around the edges.

_Come away with me and we'll kiss_

_On a mountaintop_

_Come away with me_

_And I'll never stop loving you_

_And I want to wake up with the rain_

_Falling on a tin roof_

_While I'm safe there in your arms_

_So all I ask is for you_

_To come away with me in the night_

_Come away with me_

Norah ends the song and receives a standing ovation. Desperately needing a rest I head over to our table. A waiter passes me with a tray of champagne flutes, one of them is clearly orange juice and I immediately grab it. I am guzzling down my second glass when the crackle of the microphone interrupts the room.

"Sorry guys, " Elliot's tipsy slur draws attention "we have a little something prepared. I am little bit drunk, " he makes a pinching motion with his hand " so it may not be perfect but..." Elliot shrugs, clips the microphone back on the stand and disappears backstage. Suddenly Mia is at my side and dragging me by the elbow through the crowd which has congregated. There is a chair placed at the front and Mia indicates for me to use it. As soon as I am seated, "It's Tricky" by Run DMC blasts through the sound system and Christian and Elliot bursts through the curtains and jump right in front of me. It dawns on me that this is the dance Christian attempted a few weeks ago when he was wasted. I remember Christian telling me that he used to do this with his brother when they were younger. You would think that their age may have hindered their performance but no, these two are on fire. Who knew that Christian Grey had a few street dance moves locked away in the closet, my very own Channing Tatum! Elliot's slightly inebriated state is adding a wobble to his steps but overall this is brilliant. I see certain people filming the brothers and no doubt the will end up on the internet by the morning. The song ends and a sweaty, out of breath Christian barrels towards me.

"Struggling for breath for the second time tonight Mr. Grey?"

"And it won't be the last!" he gives me a chaste kiss before taking the towel Grace has for him.

The night flies by. After the cutting of the cake and a few touching words from family members, we all abandon decorum (shoes and all) and party the night away. Christian has booked a live band and they have been excellent; taking requests as well as performing the playlist Christian created. Kate has sat on the sidelines a lot but Elliot as been at her beckon call, drinking has not interfered with his new devotion to his baby. Carrick and Grace have been showing all the young ones how it is done, Christian definitely learnt his expert dancing skills from his parents. My parents have shared a dance which warmed my heart, the sight of them together still makes me a little sad but I know that they are both happier apart. Christian left my side a short while ago and I haven't seen him since. I am just about to send out a search team when I spot him on stage talking to one of the band members.

He steps forward and taps on the microphone " Excuse me. It is nearly time for me to whisk my beautiful new wife away on honeymoon. "A chorus of 'oohs' follows and I roll my eyes " but before we leave I have a little something special planned. Can someone help my wife up here?"

"What Christian!? No!"

"Come on baby, don't be scared."

Mia is more than willing to volunteer herself as "Ana pusher" so I soon find myself on stage. Somebody hands me a microphone and my heart races. Christian nods and the piano chimes.

"_My love. _

_There's you only in my life_

_The only things that's right"_

"Your turn baby..." Christian whispers and licks the shell of my ear.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"_My first love_

_You're every breath that I take_

_You're every step I make"_

We turn to face each other and sing together.

"_I_

_I want to share all my love with you_

_No one else will do_

_And your eyes_

_They tell me how much you care_

_Ohh yes_

_You will always be_

_My endless love."_

**A/N Oh I love a wedding. I know its all fluff and no angst but I think in this story these two have had their fair share of drama and they deserve a little peace and happiness. The two songs in this chapter are " Come away with me" by Norah Jones, (which will be the first dance at my own wedding) and the duet by Ana and Christian at the end is a cover of "Endless love" by Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey. I have posted pictures** **of the second dress, food and rings on my pinterest pages; you can find that at xoliannexo. Huge shout out to Vip for being my beta for this chapter and a big get well soon to Heather!**

**Please review, I love hearing what you guys thought and I will try to reply to all. Also I am on Twitter and Goodreads if you wanna follow, chat or anything else, again username is xoliannexo. **

**There is only a few more chapters left which is sad :( **


	36. Chapter 36

**Epilogue.**

A year later...

The clang of metal bars echoes around me. The burly guard, who towers over me, ushers my nervous body through one gate to another. Directly in front of me is another tall man, dressed in the same brown shirt uniform, checks the bags of everyone in the line before allowing them to enter into the next adjoining room. The tension filled chatter circles the space and apprehensive eyes survey the dull, lifeless, intimidating building. If Christian found out I was here, he would undoubtedly have a coronary, not to mention my behind would be aching for days.

"Ma'am." The guard murmurs as he waits for me to hand over my purse. He runs the hand-held scanner over the Hermes as a female guard pats me down; no doubt checking to see if I am smuggling any illegal paraphernalia. Once I receive the all clear, I follow the rest of the group into a room which is lined with a wall in the centre, effectively cutting it in half, and sectioned off into booths. I take my place and nervously pick at my fingernails. Over the past few days, this moment has been replayed constantly in my head; to the point where sleep has eluded me. Christian has been oblivious to my dilemma as he prepares to host a multi-billion dollar takeover; this deal has effectively stolen my husband away from me, I haven't spent more than a few hours with him for nearly two weeks and my poor neglected body is crying out for some loving and his touch. When this take over was first brought to my attention, I immediately had reservations; Christian explained, in very simple terms, that it sets to make us one of the richest and most powerful couples in the world and our net worth at an estimated twenty three billion dollars. I know my husband probably assumed that I would immediately leap into his waiting arms, and then whisk him upstairs to have crazy, wild sex on a bed of hundred dollar bills, but that is just not me. The money isn't important to me. Not one little bit. I would be happy and content if we lost it all tomorrow. As long as my loved ones were healthy and settled and I still had Christian by my side I would be fine, great even, but this is my life now and I have to get used to it, and the fact that currently Christian has moved into Grey Headquarters. His absence is the reason why I am able to slip out and come here. Sawyer has been sworn to secrecy.

Last Tuesday Kate, who is now my personal assistance, waltzed into my office, baby on hip, and handed me a bunch of envelopes which had been sitting in my mail box for over a week. Kate isn't the best assistant in the world; in fact I would go as far as to say she is almost inept. This all came about after Elliot and Kate's gorgeous daughter, Jessica, was born, Kate found herself reluctant to go back to full time work because she couldn't, understandably, bear being away from Jess. I offered her the opportunity of a part time assistant job with the added bonus of a crèche which I had given the go ahead, only weeks before, on the floor above the office. The prime location suited everyone and incorporated the message I am tirelessly trying to promote. I champion women in the workplace and anything I can do to encourage more ladies to come back to work after having children I will do; the crèche is inexpensive and allows the mothers to be near their children at all times and so far it has proved to be a huge success. When I first pitched the idea to Christian I was sure he would laugh in my face and lecturer me about an unfocused workforce and creating an unnecessary distraction but instead he gave me the biggest smile and his complete approval; he even went as far as to say he was proud of me and may install a similar set up at GEH. So now Kate works for me three days a week and Jess attends the daycare. The pile of unopened mail sat on my desk for the next two hours because I was in and out of meetings all day. When I finally had some spare time to deal with the mountain of letters, I came across one which had my heart racing and palms sweating. After the reveal, dark memories haunted my thoughts for days, the fear rising within me and the terror I thought I had buried a long time ago, resurfaced. With the help of Dr. Flynn and a few choice words with myself in the mirror, I summoned up the courage to face the demon head on. Literally.

My thoughts are interrupted by a sudden loud buzz, the rattle of keys and the click of a large lock being opened. I take a deep breath, tug down my shirt, smooth my hair and straighten my shoulders, not to mention mentally preparing myself for war. A group of women dressed in orange jumpsuits are hoarded into the room and I scan each and every one; some look downbeat and remorseful, some are covered in tattoos and wear a smirk of honour and some look like they have just waltzed in off of Rodeo Drive with their manicured nails, earrings and neat hairstyles. Despite the clear division in the group there is one thing that unites them all, the silver handcuffs chained around their wrists. The ladies pile in one by one however there is still no sign of my inmate. Hope blooms in my stomach; maybe this was just a pathetic game conjured up by her sick brain to play with me and now I won't actually have to stay and face the person who caused me and my family so much pain. Figuring this is the case; I pick up my purse and head to the exit. That is when I sense her presence and a chill travels down my spine and goose bumps prickle my skin.

I close my eyes and fight off the fear threatening to consume me. To show her any kind of weakness will play straight into her hands and I refuse to give her any more ammunition. I will not let her win! Whirling around I come face to face with pure evil.

I sit back down and pick up the receiver hanging at the side; her lips curl up into a sly grin and my anger builds inside. "Going somewhere Anastasia?"

"No, I just presumed you had lost your nerve and chosen not to face me after all." I snarl. _Defensive is good Anastasia!_

"Funny I thought the same about you." She folds her arms over her plastic chest and appraises me.

We sit glaring at each other. Being imprisoned has not dampened her glamorous appearance. Her hair, although longer and scattered with hints of grey, has been pulled up into a demure ponytail, her eyeliner and lipstick has been heavily applied and she is wearing a gorgeous pair of raindrop pearl earrings. On the surface, Elena looks as in control and demeaning as she ever has but behind the façade I can see the tiredness and defeat shining bright. This gives me the strength to stand up to her; Elena has nothing left and I have everything. I have everything she has always desired.

"Thank you for coming little girl. I thought it was about time we sat down, woman to woman, and got a few things straight."

"Oh yeah and what possibly could that be Elena?"

She doesn't answer me; instead her eyes flick to my hands resting on the small table in front of me; my diamond wedding and engagement rings gleaming at her through the glass. "He did good." she murmurs wistfully.

"Excuse me!?"

"The rings. They are beautiful."

"I know my _husband _has good taste" In all senses of the word. Elena doesn't miss my implied insult and narrows her eyes at me.

"You think you have won, don't you?"

"Yes." I reply in a matter-of-fact manner.

"You should be dead." Her face scrunches in disgust.

"And you should be in the depths of hell but that's life." I shrug.

"Sassy aren't you?"

"Cut the crap Elena and get on with it."

"How is the baby?" My body stiffens at the mention of my daughter. Eva Grace Grey is the light of my life and perfect in every way. Christian and I love every inch of that little girl; from her cute button nose to her chubby baby toes. If I thought I knew what love was before she was born I was wrong, there is nothing that will ever compare to the moment I held that beautiful little human being in my arms for the first time and looked up to see tears openly flowing down Christian's cheeks. In the latter stages of my pregnancy I was confined to bed rest as a result of my extremely high blood level and the strain the baby was having on my spine. To say my body resembled that of a whale would be an understatement however Christian made it his mission to make me feel sexy and desirable and despite my gigantic size, we still made love daily. My labour was a traumatic affair because Eva was sitting at an awkward angle and it caused some significant tearing. Unfortunately I lost a lot of blood during labour and was rushed immediately into surgery and spent two days in intensive care. My poor husband nearly had a breakdown; a critically ill wife and a newborn baby to deal with nearly sent the control freak into meltdown but I recovered and the first thing I did was hold my child. My maternal instincts kicked in straight away and I swore in that moment that I would love and protect Eva with everything I have. Even the notion of Elena and Eva together threatens to send me into a fit of rage. The woman before me will never lay eyes on my daughter!

"Don't you dare utter her name." I spit.

"It is such a shame she has you for a mother." A direct hit to my insecurities. I constantly question my ability to be a good mother and hearing somebody say it aloud, no matter of their intention, never fails to send me spiralling into a world of doubt.

"Look Elena, I don't have to sit here and listen to you spew your venom. I get it, I really do, I have the happy ending you were always hoping for. The man you have spent the majority of your adult life lusting after fell in love with me and realised that the relationship he shared with you was toxic and wrong. I have shown Christian the love he deserves because fuck that boy has been through a rough time and you Elena, contributed greatly to that. When I first met my husband he was a closed off, angry man who was carrying some deep seated issues on his young shoulders. Was the way we started our relationship a mistake? Absolutely but you know what I wouldn't change it for the world. He doesn't love you, he never did. He was brainwashed and clung onto anything that showed him affection. What you two shared was sordid and you as a grown woman took advantage of a vulnerable teenage boy.

"You are incorrect, I was the centre of Christian's world and because of my influence and love he is the successful and powerful man you see today. He owes all of his success to me and once I am out of here, you, Anastasia, will be a distant memory and Christian and I will be together. I suppose I will look after your spawn if you ask nicely."

I laugh. A proper belly laugh, "How delusional can one person be? Christian despises you Elena! You make his skin crawl. I am his wife! The mother to his child, something you will never be because you are so old your ovaries have shrivelled up and died along with your dignity! I will trump you at every turn bitch. I came here today for two reasons; the first was to see if prison had altered your perception and you had finally realised that what you did was beyond the realm of insanity and secondly for my own benefit. I nearly died, twice, because of your warped psyche and although I have moved on there is always that fear lurking in the back of my mind and that is because I have never dealt with it head on. That is all different now. Elena Lincoln, no longer poses a threat to our life. You can send all the letters to Christian you like, yes he told me about that, you can sit in your cell and dream of the life you believe you will have with my husband because this is never going to come true. You were sentenced to life, Elena, that cell of yours is where you are going to rot. I, on the other hand, will walk out of those doors and into the arms of my loving, gorgeous, kind and extraordinary husband and kiss our beautiful baby girl to death. Enjoy your delusions, you demented bitch." I stand and walk out of the room, leaving Elena speechless.

Adrenaline flows through my veins. God that felt good! There was no way I was going to sit back and let her tear me a new one. I charge through the prison and burst out into the open air. Victory has a great taste and I close my eyes to savour it. Little ole' Ana Grey won't be the one to change Elena Lincoln but it sure felt good to shower her with a few home truths. I gradually open my eyes and they fall on a figure leaning against the hood of my car. Shit!

Christian.

My husband stands cool and stoic in his Tom Ford business suit. His face impassive and his bulging arms crossed over his broad chest. I tentatively walk over to him, hurriedly creating various excuses in my head. It's no use, the man can see straight through any lie I attempt to tell him. My feet come to a standstill in front of him and I wait for his reaction; my bottom lip being nervously chewed. Christian leans forward and frees the flesh from my dangerous teeth. His touch still sending shock-waves coursing through my hyper aware body, even after all this time.

"Where is Eva?" Christian asks quietly. I hate quiet; it is dangerous.

"Um... with your mother." I reply nervously. He nods and suddenly pulls me into a tight embrace; his nose quickly buried into my hair. I automatically relax and grip his waist.

"What are you doing here baby?" He sounds confused. Worried.

"She sent me a visitor request and my stupid curiosity got the better of me."

"You should have told me Ana. I have been going out of my mind." Christian chastises me and it riles me up.

"And when was I supposed to do that Christian? During our three minute phone calls? The one sentence emails? You haven't been around! This deal has taken over your life and me and Eva have been cast aside" it feels so good to get this off my chest. For days now I have pushed down these feelings and repeatedly told myself that this won't last forever and doesn't matter but it does. I want my husband back. The tears I have only allowed to fall when I am alone start to leak down my cheeks and I stubbornly brush them away.

"Baby, it is because of you and Eva that I am doing this. My girls are the only thing I think about. Please don't cry sweetheart."

"I want you home Christian."

"Then that's where I will be."

"I want you to help me bathe and put Eva to sleep every night."

"I will be, without fail."

"I want you to make love to me and hold me in our bed for the rest of my life."

"It would be my honour."

"I want you to take me back to Greece for a second honeymoon where we can make a brother or sister for Eva." I smile up at my husband. We have already discussed trying for another baby and our honeymoon destination would be the perfect place to conceive our second child. That trip was out of this world. We spent our wedding night making love and staring into each others eyes; Christian kept the destination a secret right up until I descended from the plane. The view that greeted me was breathtaking. We landed in Santorini, Greece and blue skies and water surrounded us for miles. The hotel was perched on volcanic rock and featured stunning views of the Caldera and the Aegean Sea. We had a jacuzzi, an infinity pool, our private terrace and dined on Mediterranean cuisine for two weeks. There were no cell phones, no laptops and the rooms were soundproof which came in very useful.

"We leave next weekend."

"We do?"

"If that is what you want sweetheart then that is what we will do. I will make sure the jet is prepared."

"How did I get so lucky huh?"

Christian scoffs "I think I am the lucky one babe."

"She still believes you two are going to run off into the sunset together."

"Elena is sick, Ana."

"I know but..."

"But nothing. It will never happen. There is only you, always and forever."

"Hey isn't that a One Tree Hill reference?" I giggle.

"Blame Mia." He throws an arm around my shoulders and leads me to the passenger side of the car. "She also made me watch CSI:New York."

"Danny and Lindsay rule!"

"Women! When we get home, we are watching Die Hard."

"Again!" I groan. Seriously I have seen those movies a thousand times since I have been with Christian.

"It's a classic Ana. And if you make that noise again and it is not a result of my dick sliding in and out of that tight wet pussy, I will make you watch all six of the Fast and Furious films and maybe a couple of the Godfather for good measure."

"So cliché." I sigh over dramatically.

He opens the door and helps me inside. "Where to madam?"

"Bellevue. Your mother has organised a family gathering."

"Oh joy!" Christian grumbles sarcastically.

We walk into Grace and Carrick's imperious house hand in hand. It doesn't matter how many times I visit, I still feel like an outsider and incredibly intimidated. The family room is packed full of relatives all packed into the room and doting on the two babies who are lapping up the attention. Grace is bouncing Eva on her lap as Carrick looks on lovingly, Ray is huddled in a corner with my mother which is surprising and somewhat unnerving, Mia and Ethan, who is still her personal assistant, are winding each other up something stupid, several of Christian's aunts and uncles are milling around drinking wine, catching up and cooing intermittently over the kids while Kate and Elliot are tag teaming Jessica's diaper change. Christian lets go of my hand and swoops in to pick up our daughter who lights up when she sees her daddy. I stand off to the side and watch as he holds her above his head and Eva's adorable baby laughs, which melt my heart every damn time, fill the room. Adjusting Eva in his arms, he sits down on the floor and peppers her face with kisses. Christian is such a wonderful father, just like I knew he would be; those two became best buddies as soon as they laid eyes on each other. I catch Christian's gaze and he beckons me over just as he reclines onto his back and lays Eva on his chest; I huddle into his side and kiss the palm which has been thrown into my face as a welcome from my daughter.

"I love you Ana." He leans down and brushes his lips over mine.

"I love you too Christian." I close the gap and kiss my husband with every ounce of passion and love inside of me.

"Ahh..." Our kiss is broken by our attention seeking daughter. We look down to see her tiny head tilted to the side and a confused expression on her face.

"We love you too Eva!" Christian and I say in unison and with that her face breaks into a toothy grin and she claps her chubby hands.

With our daughter happily content, I give in to temptation and kiss my husband once more.

**A/N I was going to write a penultimate chapter but the last one, after re-reading it, felt like the perfect way to end and the epilogue clears up any loose ends. The honeymoon destination (Santorini Islands in Greece) is featured on my Pinterest page and I recommend you have a look because it is a stunning destination.**

**Okay here goes...**

**I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story. If you have read from the beginning then I want to say a massive thank you for sticking with it. If you have dipped in and out, I hope you have enjoyed it just as much. For all of those who have reviewed, you have no idea how much it means; I read every single review and they have, at various points, given me the encouragement I desperately needed to carry on. I haven't forgotten about those lurkers who don't comment but do read, I love you too. A massive shout out to all of the members of the Fifty Shades Fanfiction Facebook group who without doubt are an extraordinary bunch of talented writers, readers and fans (Their discussions and pictures do keep a girl entertained on a dull day.) To the girls on Twitter, I love you, truly. You ladies never fail to make me laugh and your critiques are just damn right amazing (special shout out to OfficeLadyProbz who promotes each and every update.) And finally to Heather, who took on the beta task towards the end of the story, I thank you.**

**This story was dreamt up several months ago and has been a joy to write. Real life has been a bitch sometimes and has gotten in the way of my writing but I hope that the updates were worth the wait. It's actually a shame I have finished this story right at the point where I have 3 months off. It has been almost a year since Fifty Shades of Grey was delivered to my house in that brown Amazon packaging and hooked me in. I still remember only ordering Grey because I was convinced I wasn't going to like it and when I finished the book I spent the next day searching in every book store and supermarket for Darker and Freed, like a full on addict, to find it sold out everywhere. Fifty Shades isn't about the sex for me, it is about the love story; if I am honest, the sex is only a bonus. Some criticise E.L. James' writing style and yes maybe it isn't brilliant but that trilogy has captured the world's attention and it is not because of BDSM. I will always continually defend the book. My aim with this story, as it is with all writers on here, is to take the original and put our own spin on it and I truly hope that my interpretation has worked.**

**My focus is now on my other story Rescue Us but there might be a sequel to this. I haven't a clue what the story will be so any suggestions are extremely welcome. Message me your ideas!**

**There truly aren't enough words to express how thankful I am because at this point my little baby has attracted: 136,000 views, 248 favourites, 924 reviews and 500 followers. That is beyond what I thought this story would ever achieve. You all rock!**


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